My brain is loose, running wild somewhere pleasant

Two days at the Home is my maximum tolerance for oldies and I made it three this week.

*Smacks face hard and promises not to do it again*

So my brain has gone away to find its happy place, the one where chocolate has no calories, booze doesn't give hangovers and shortbread and hot cups of tea magically appear beside the bed in the morning.  I think it also has pink clouds with silver linings.

I have to write up the minutes of the Relatives and Residents meeting and call VicRoad on their behalf.  We tried the Local Council whose offices are on the corner of the same street to get them to do something about the speeding cars, a slow down sign would have done but they told us that it was up to VicRoad.  They're up for election in November so you would have thought they might have made an official call for us, no, too busy making election promises.

So, on to the movie meme, part the four of.

4.  Name the best movie title.

Hard, really hard. Oh yeah, Die Hard, because Bruce Willis didn't and everybody else did. My sister refuses to watch these films because they're violent, she prefers cerebral films where the violence is psychological.  The 'Die Hard' franchise is fantasy violence, no-one could take that much and still live. I loved Die Hard 4.0, nobody jumps onto a jet that's crashing and jumps off again but it seems to be the chemistry between the actors in these films that make them enjoyable to me. I just love Justin Long.

5.  Describe the worst performance by a child actor that you've ever seen.

Difficult. The Plastic Mancunian went for the kid who played Anakin Skywalker and I have to agree he was an annoying little twit.  But I'm going for an adult who acts like a child in every film I've seen him in, Adam Sandler.  Can't stand him but he is slightly below Jerry Lewis in my loathe ratings.

6.  Who gets your vote for the most tragic movie monster.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon.  I know I usually refer to my ex as him but only because he looks like it.  Poor Creature, all he wanted was the blonde tart to like him and all she could do was scream.  I can't remember the ending but I think he was spear-gunned but not killed because they made a sequel.  Honestly the films we watched at the Saturday arvo sessions would not get a rating now. 

Three days into daylight savings, meh

I hate daylight savings. It takes me weeks to acclimatise and I'm still finding clocks I haven't changed yet. Anyway how can we save any daylight when I've hardly seen the sun and now they're forecasting rain, thunder, cold and storms. I blame politicians. Was Mr. Abbott standing in a drain at the weekend, when he was standing next to our Ted? Surely he can't be that short but he did look as though he only came up to Ted's navel.

I am now going to have a complain, besides the complain I already had and the one after this.

Southland, nice shopping centre, bloody awful toilets.  Doc Marvin said not to take the diuretic pills if I was going out, brilliant, the effects last two days.  So, should have used the wheelchair toilet on level 3, I'm allowed I have scars to prove my knees aren't co-operative.  Second level and I really know I'm not going to make it back up the escalator.  I know I've put on weight but someone has also zapped the size of toilets down from human to small primate. By the time I hang shopping bags and my bag on the hook on the back of the door after I managed to shave off 3 kgs getting it shut, get my knickers down after tucking dress under chin, backing up  to the miniscule dunny, I was in trouble.  Not only did I forget to up the seat but I didn't back up far enough.  Noise, there's a noise.  Great bladder control now as I hold the horses!  Back up a bit more, release, relief.  Now get out the anti-septic wipes and wipe out the shoe, the foot, the leg, the seat, the floor and 20 minutes later, shave off another 3 kgs as I drag myself out the door.

I would complain to the management but everyone knows that fat people are killing the earth so why worry if one pees in their shoe.  Skinny mongrels.

Can I haz another complain?

Mother, complain.  Forgetting to ask for her pain control again. She is on enough to knock out Black Cavier but any breakthrough pain means she needs extra for a few days. She's been in pain since last Wednesday. I checked on Saturday and she wasn't in the book for extra pills. So still on normal daylight I get up on a Monday morning to go down there. I'm not ready for the Home on Monday, I go Tuesday and I certainly wasn't ready for the sight of Annie Joyce with stitches, black eye and busted knee and her mouth shut for a change. I swear that woman's voice would cut ice. She fell out of bed Sunday night, bled everywhere and got carted off to hospital. Yes, sorry, poor old dear, I'm devastated. My mother says to be nice, I'll be old one day. Hell, woman haven't you noticed, I am older and getter older by the minute.

Ignoring moans from the other side of the room, I get out my illegal white cheesymite roll from Bakers Delight and a bottle Nestea (hope they're reading this I could do with a case) take one yummy bite  when Annie Joyce decides to upchuck. No one has put her bell within reach, Ma's bell is not within reach so I had to belt down the hall and grab a nurse.  Really took the shine off the cheesymite roll but I soldiered on.  Second gallop down the hall was for her other end. Nurse made that in good time.

Thank you to the spammer who offered to up my comments to 4000 a day. You're a real gem.

Thanks to the fourth cold caller about my telephone discount yesterday. I hope your hearing comes back soon.

Thank you to Miss O'Dyne for her suggestion that I turn my experiences into a TV show. It's a good idea, I'd probably piss myself laughing reliving it all.

Meme, part three

Mother asked me today if I was going to have Christmas dinner with her.  Oh crap, it's that close to bloody Christmas.  I feel like opening a vein.

Now on to the meme.

Question 3.  Name your favourite femme fatale.

There wasn't a question about a favourite villain so I'm going with Glen Close as Cruella DeVille.

101 Dalmatians and 102 Dalmatians, she owned those two films.  Manic and comic, nobody else could have been better.  She didn't even have to open her mouth to make me laugh, the face was enough.

The bunny boiler was good but the puppy stealer was better.

If I'm lucky I can string this meme out until Christmas.

October, Halloween, I haven't made a costume.  Anyone got any dalmatians for sale?

Movie Meme - Question two

Question two - What classic film would you nominate for a remake?

That would be none.  

Casablanca without Bogey and Bergman

Wizard of Oz without Judy

Gone with the Wind without Viv Leigh

Arsenic and Old Lace without Cary Grant

All about Eve without Bette Davis.

Just a few off the top of my head that I can think off that just wouldn't have the same chemistry without the stars, wardrobe, scenery and co-stars.

A recent re-make although not a classic is a point in question.

"Clash of the Titans", vintage l981.  Watched this with the boys in the comfortable old Balwyn Cinema and it wasn't a great story but it was a pretty movie to watch. Stars Harry Hamlin and Judy Bowker were both pretty even the flying horse was pretty.  The Kraken wasn't but this was before CGI and we watched what we got.  The scenery and the wardrobe of the rest of the cast was beautiful, colour was spectacular, Ursula Andress glowing but then she was playing off set with the pretty Harry.  I enjoyed all of it.

Not so much the remake with Sam Worthington whose Aussie accent could have decapitated the Gorgon with a word not a sword.  Okay so the world back then probably was grey, dirty and gritty but trying to watch it was like watching a Grand Final through a snow/hail/rain/thunderstorm.  It had less of a story than version 1, more gore, more hairy men and CGI monsters though.  The female 'sacrifice du jour' I can't even picture, but Judy Bowker I still remember from version 1.  Fortunately I didn't pay out money to see this but watched it on TV and I doubt it would have been any better on a large screen.  I didn't mind Sam in Terminator Salvation but couldn't have someone done something with his strine in this film.

For the last word on remakes, George Lukas regrets playing around with the first StarWars film and putting in more CGI characters just because he could, it added nothing and annoyed us, the devoted fans of the original.

It's a pigeon!

Isn't he a pretty bird? 

Elephant's Child was right on the money with her identification of him as a Common Bronzewing Pigeon.  I was lucky to see the brilliant flash on the wings as the sun was just at the right angle.  I wouldn't have been close enough to photograph him as they fly off very quickly if disturbed not like the other freeloaders around here.  I hope he comes back as I've never seen one like this before under the buffet tree in my backyard.