http://mpegmedia.abc.net.au/rn/podcast/2011/05/bbg_20110508.mp3
A quote from the book I’m reading:
The observations of this one case and the conclusion drawn from them are in accordance with something that was drawn to my attention by the chief doctor of our concentration camp. The death rate in the week between Christmas, 1944, and New Year’s, 1945, increased in camp beyond all previous experience. In his opinion, the explanation of this increase did not lie in the harder working conditions or the deterioration of our food supplies or a change of weather or new epidemics. It was simply that the majority of the prisoners had lived in the naive hope that they woruld be home again by Christmas. As the time drew near and there was no encouraging news, the prisoners lost courage and disappointment overcame them. This had a dangerous influcence on their power of resistance and a great number of them died.
As we said before, any attempt to restore a man’s inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal. Nietzsche’s words, ‘He who has a why to live for a can bear with almost any how” could be the guiding motto for all psychotherapeutic and psychohygienic efforts regarding prisoners. Whenever there was an opportunity for it, one had to give them a why – a aim – for their lives, in order to strengthen them to bear the terrible how of their existence. Woe to him who saw no more sense in his life, no aim, no purpose, and therefore no point in carrying on. He was soon lost. The typical reply with which such a man rejected all encouraging arguments was, “I have nothing to expect from life anymore”
Saturday 17th October, this is a day when two things happened which forced a third thing to happen.
My grandma went to hospital
There was something wrong with her white blood cell count. We went to see her but I was nervous this was the first time in a long time that she has been in there for something serious. By the time that we got there she had been feeling better, mum had said that she is looking better. I was relieved but again it stuck me, she is slowly slipping away. Each month I notice that she is getting a little bit older that she seems to forget things and that her cognition is off.
This has again sparked me into the whole family tree/history thing, my desperate need to know and record my past. For what purpose and for what end I’m yet to figure out but I do know that the more that I find out the more I am interested in.
I watched “Into the Wild”
It’s an interesting movie with a suggestive sub-text. We live in a materialistic world filled with people who are desperate to impress other people. I liked the story and it seems rather romantic…from the outside, the reality is a different story. It got me thinking about what I’m doing now and how much it really matters.
I wanted to find out the books that Chris (from the movie) read for him to reach this state of mind, this is what I’ve found so far.
- ‘Tanaina Plantlore’ by Priscilla Russel Kari
- ‘Education of a Wandering Man’ by Louis L’Amour
- Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
- War and Peace (Lev Tolstoy)
- Death of Ivan Ilych (Lev Tolstoj)
- Call of the Wild (Jack London)
- White Fang (Jack London)
- Moon-Face (Jack London)
- Brown Wolf (Jack London)
- To Build a Fire (Jack London)
- Doctor Zhivago (Boris Pasternak)
- Terminal Man (Michael Crichton)
- O Jersualem! (Larry Collins & Dominique Lapierre)
- Walden (Henry David Thoreau)
The aim would be to read it and see if I can see (figuratively) the same things that he did.
I’ve thought again about the idea of a journal
This has all let me to the mystical journal that I keep picking up and putting down. Half of it is this blog the other half is written for myself.
I think that I’ll give it another go in 2011.
When going to to see friends it will depend on which friend we are going to see to determine who will drive.
Standard logical rule that I believe has always existed: My friend then I drive to and from venue. Her friend then she will drive to and from the venue.
Actual rule that does exist: No matter where we are going I will always drive, if it is my friend I have to drive because it is my friend and she shouldn’t have to drive. If it is her friend then I have to drive because she wants to drink and doesn’t like driving at night.
Warning: Questioning the rule will result in anger, possible silence and statements of me being difficult
When printing documents that are only required for reference you must use the draft printing feature. This will ensure that we save as much ink as possible. Time since ink cartridges were bought: 6 months
So staying true to my new year resolutions I’ve done none of them…well I’m approaching them slower than I thought I would. I have done the health kick thing, if I have learned anything from my past attempts is that I have to do changes slowly instead of a big bang approach.
They have worked, changing breakfast from anything-that-I-can-eat-in-a-hurry to oats and honey in the morning has kept me full at lunchtime. Cooked chicken and salad/pita for lunch with a protein snake at about 3pm has keep my energy levels up longer than normal.
But my biggest problem is also my most fatal, will and determination is that seems to be holding me back, that when things go crazy for a bit (fight with the partner, tough work day) I let my guard down and let the food in. It is this excat problem which has lead me to this predicment in the first place. It’s this realisation that I’ve ready many times and seen more often that not which has finally dawned on me.
This will be harder than I thought.