Through lanes indicated by arrows on Montague Expressway in Silicon Valley.

A lane is a part of the roadway (British: carriageway) within a road marked out for use by a single line of vehicles in such a way as to control and guide drivers for the purpose of reducing traffic conflicts. Most public roads (highways) have at least two lanes, one for traffic in each direction, separated by Lane markings. Major highways often have two roadways separated by a median, each with multiple lanes. A single-track road carries traffic in both directions within a single lane with passing places to allow vehicles to pass. In North America and Australia, the term also may refer to rear access roads which act as a secondary vehicular network in cities and towns. A minor rural road may be referred to as a country lane; some urban streets which began as country lanes are still called lanes, such as Drury Lane in London.

Types of traffic lane[link]

The Ontario Highway 401 in the Greater Toronto area, with 18 lanes in 6 separate carriageways visible in the foreground.

Turning lane on the Rodovia BR-101 (Brazil)

Changing lanes, Gothenburg, Sweden

• A traffic lane or travel lane is a lane for the movement of vehicles traveling from one destination to another, not including shoulders and auxiliary lanes.
• A through lane or thru lane is a traffic lane for through traffic. At intersections, these may be indicated by arrows on the pavement pointing straight ahead.
• A carriageway (Great Britain), roadway (United States) is a group of two or more lanes on a single paved surface. A rural 2-lane highway is usually built on a single surface with traffic in both directions, while large highways can be built with two (sometimes more) of these separated by buffers such as medians and barriers. On such highways, the lanes in each group usually travel in the same direction.
• A deceleration lane is a paved or semi-paved lane adjacent to the primary road or street. It is used to improve traffic safety by allowing drivers to pull off the main road and decelerate safely in order to turn (e.g. right in the United States or left in Great Britain), so that the traffic behind the turning vehicle is not slowed or halted. Deceleration lanes are primarily found in suburban settings.
• A fire lane is the area next to a curb, which is reserved for firefighting equipment, ambulances, or other emergency vehicles. Parking in these areas, often marked by red lines, usually warrants a parking ticket.
• A loading lane (loading zone in the United States) is an area next to a curb, which is reserved for loading and unloading passengers and/or freight. It may be marked by a sign ("LOADING ONLY" or "LOADING ZONE") or by a yellow or white-painted curb.
• A passing lane is often provided on steep mountain grades, in order to allow smaller vehicles to pass larger, slower ones. This is sometimes called a climbing lane if on the uphill side. (See truck lane below). Passing lanes may also be provided on long stretches of other roadway. On two-lane roads, using the lane of oncoming traffic as a passing lane is sometimes allowed given a long enough straightaway. In many countries permission is indicated by a broken line on the same side of the centerline as the vehicle intending to pass.
• A collector lane of a road is used for slower moving traffic and has more access to exits/off ramps.
• An express lane of a road is used for faster moving traffic and has less access to exits/off ramps. In other areas, an express lane may refer to a HOV lane (see below).
• A transfer lane of a road is used to move from express lanes to collector lanes, or vice-versa; it is somewhat similar to an auxiliary lane.
• A merge lane is a lane or onramp used to merge two flows of traffic into one, with the merge lane being the lane that disappears at the end of the merging area. Merge lane lengths depend mainly on the speed differential of the two merging flows, as the slower flow has to use the lane to accelerate.
• An auxiliary lane along a highway or motorway connects slip roads, with the entrance ramp or acceleration lane from one interchange leading to the exit ramp or deceleration lane of the next.
• The emergency lane of a road (also known as the breakdown lane, shoulder or hard shoulder) is reserved for breakdowns, and for emergency vehicles. The inner boundary of the lane often features rumble strips in order to physically warn drowsy or inattentive drivers that they are drifting off the roadway. This feature is seen especially often on highways and motorways, where the minimally-stimulating and monotonous nature of high-speed driving at night increases the chances for driver disorientation and serious injury or death if an accident does take place.
• An HOV lane or carpool lane is reserved for carpooling. In the US, they may be marked with a diamond icon every few hundred feet (hence the nickname "diamond lane"), or separated from other lanes by double broken white lines, a continuous pair of double yellow lines, or just a single broken white line.
• A High-occupancy toll lane is a combination of an HOV lane and toll collection technology that allows drivers without passengers to use the HOV lane by paying a premium price for the privilege
• A turn lane is set aside for slowing down and making a turn, so as not to disrupt traffic. At a full intersection with a traffic light, turn lanes are used more to hold traffic until the light changes.
• A designated bicycle lane is a portion of the roadway or shoulder designated for the exclusive or preferential use of bicyclists. This designation is indicated by special word and/or symbol markings on the pavement and "BIKE LANE" signs.
• A motorcycle lane is provided at certain roads and highways such as the Federal Highway in Malaysia to segregate the motorcycle traffic from the main roadways to reduce motorcycle-related accidents. The motorcycle lane may form a part of the hard shoulder, or may be built as completely separated lanes.
• A bus lane is reserved for buses providing public transportation on a fixed route, sometimes with overhead catenary for trolleybuses. In some countries, bus lanes may also be used by some other traffic, such as taxis, bicycles and motorbikes.
• A reversible lane (contraflow lane in Hawaii) uses overhead lane light markers, signs, poles or barriers to indicate the current direction of travel. They are used to accommodate periods of high traffic flow, especially rush hour where the flow is predominantly in one direction, on roads that cannot be easily widened. One or more lanes are removed from the opposing flow and added to the peak flow. Outside peak hours, the lanes revert to their normal configuration, perhaps with a center turn lane. To reduce the chance of head-on accidents, a resting period of an hour is often employed when reversing a lane; no traffic is allowed in the lane during this time. Some roads use portable barriers or plastic poles that are manually rearranged by work crews before and after the peak period, others use both lights and on-street markings (broken double-yellow line) or overhead lights. In some areas, the term suicide lane became a common slang description for this design because many people ignore the traffic control devices. Because of their history of numerous accidents and collisions, reversible lanes are rarely used.
• A tram lane is a lane reserved for the use of buses, trams and taxicabs. It is usually encountered in cities with curbside tram network, such as Zagreb.
• A truck lane (United States) or crawler lane (Great Britain) is a lane provided on long and steep uphill stretches of high-speed roads to enhance the ability of vehicles which can maintain speed up the incline to pass those vehicles (usually heavy trucks) which cannot. In addition, these lanes are intended to optimize pavement performance and minimize pavement fatigue. The lane is marked only on the uphill stretch and usually a short distance afterward (for regaining speed). A truckway often allows longer box length; for instance, the Florida Turnpike allows 29.3 meter double trailer combinations, in contrast to normal Florida highways' 16.2 meter limit. Since the major cost of trucking is the fixed cost of the same trailer with its driver the cost per ton of operating with truckway size and weight allowances is 35 to 40 percent below the cost of operations on the non-truckways.^[1]
• An operational lane or auxiliary lane is an extra lane on the entire length of highway between interchanges, giving drivers more time to merge in or out. The lane is created when an entrance ramp meets the highway, and drops out (with an "exit only" sign) to become the ramp at the next exit.^[2]
• An overtaking lane is the lane furthest from the shoulder of a multi-lane carriageway/roadway (sometimes called the fast lane, although this is deprecated by the authorities).
• The slow lane is the lane nearest to the shoulder of a multi-lane carriageway/roadway. This usage leads to the phrase Life in the Slow Lane, used as the title of various books and songs.
• A driving lane is an area in a parking lot/car park in between parking spaces so that vehicles can drive into and out of the spaces.
• A farm lane, which typically is the private property of one or more landowners, provides access to rural dwellings and agricultural buildings. It may be paved with concrete, asphalt, tar macadam, water bound macadam, gravel, or nothing more than earth, compressed with use.
• The term country lane, by contrast, typically denotes a public rural road. Farm lanes connect properties to country lanes (or to main roads).

Lane width and capacity[link]

The U.S. Interstate Highway System uses a 12-foot (3.7 m) standard for lane width. 11-foot (3.4 m) lanes are found to be acceptable by the Federal Highway Administration for automobile traffic, but as lane width decreases (9-foot (2.7 m) lanes are found in some areas) traffic capacity decreases.^[3] A full-width freeway lane typically has a capacity of 2,000 cars per hour.^[4]

In the United Kingdom, many lanes are found in the countryside, and most of these lanes are wide enough for one car at a time and often have a lay by for cars to pass. In general, European laws and road width vary per country, with the minimum widths of lanes being anywhere between 2.5 m to 3.25 m (thus comparable to US lanes).^[5]

Lane markings[link]

A typical rural American freeway (Interstate 5 in the Central Valley of California). Notice the yellow line on the left, the dashed white line in the middle, and the solid white line on the right. There is also a "rumble strip" on the shoulder, not easily seen in this view.

Painted lane markings vary widely from country to country. In the United States, Canada and Norway, yellow lines separate traffic going opposite directions and white separates lanes of traffic traveling the same direction, but this is not the case in many European countries.

Medians or central reservations[link]

Besides a painted line, lanes of traffic moving in opposing directions can also be separated by any of the following:

• Grass strip or ditch
• A central turning lane that allows vehicles to turn into driveways or streets on the opposite side of the road without stopping traffic
• A wide paved area with special paint markings indicating that it should never be crossed
• Metal guard rail (or guide rail) affixed to metal or wooden posts
• Cable barriers
• Concrete barriers such as Jersey barriers

Such separations between opposing traffic are referred to as a median in American English and as a central reservation in British English.

Numbering of freeway lanes in California[link]

Traffic reports in California often refer to accidents being "in the number X lane." The California Department of Transportation (Caltrans) assigns the numbers from left to right.^[6] The far left passing lane is the number 1 lane. The number of the slow lane (closest to freeway onramps/offramps) depends on the total number of lanes, and could be anywhere from 2 to 6.

History[link]

For much of human history, roads did not need lane markings because most people walked or rode horses at relatively slow speeds. Another reason for not using lane markings is that they are expensive to maintain.

When automobiles, trucks, and buses came into widespread use during the first two decades of the 20th century, head-on collisions became more common.

Without the guidance provided by lane markings, drivers in the early days often erred in favor of keeping closer to the middle of the road, rather than risk going off-road into ditches or trees^{[citation needed]}. This practice often left inadequate room for opposing traffic.

There are two people who have been credited with the invention of lane markings. In 1911, Edward N. Hines, the chairman of the Road Commission of Wayne County, Michigan was trying to make roads safer. He supposedly came up with the idea of painting stripes to separate lanes of traffic after riding behind a milk truck that leaked milk onto the center of the road, leaving a stripe.

June McCarroll, a physician in Indio California started experimenting with painting lines on roads in 1917 after she was run off of a highway by a truck driver. In November 1924, after years of lobbying by Dr. McCarroll and her allies, California officially adopted a policy of painting lines on its highways. A portion of Interstate 10 near Indio has been named the Dr. June McCarroll Memorial Freeway in her honor.

By 1939, lane markings had become so popular that they were officially standardized throughout the United States, and they were soon copied worldwide.

See also[link]

References[link]

Željko Joksimović Жељко Јоксимовић
Željko Joksimović (2008)
Background information
Born	(1972-04-20) 20 April 1972 (age 40) Belgrade, SR Serbia, Yugoslavia
Origin	Valjevo
Genres	Pop, rock
Occupations	Singer, composer, musician
Labels	Minacord
Website	www.zeljkojoksimovic.com
Notable instruments
plays 11 different musical instruments

Željko Joksimović or often credited Zeljko Joksimovic (Serbian: Жељко Јоксимовић, pronounced [ʒěːʎko jôksimoʋitɕ]; born 20 April 1972 in Belgrade, SR Serbia, SFR Yugoslavia) is a Serbian singer, composer and producer. He is also well known in all European countries. He represented Serbia and Montenegro in the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest with the song "Lane moje", placing 2nd behind Ukrainian singer Ruslana.^[1] He represented Serbia in the Eurovision Song Contest 2012 in Baku, Azerbaijan and finished 3rd.

Career[link]

Early beginnings[link]

Željko Joksimović was born on 20 April 1972 in Belgrade and grew up in the city of Valjevo.^[2] Željko’s first international success came at the age of 12, when he won the title of First Accordion of Europe at the prestigious music festival in Paris. He graduated from the Music University in Belgrade and launched his professional music career in 1997. In 1998 he won a contest at the Pjesma Mediterana festival with the song "Pesma Sirena", which led to opportunities to perform at more prestigious festivals in Belarus. The Serbian musician won the "Grand-Prix" award at two festivals in that country.^[3] Joksimović can play 11 different musical instruments including accordion, piano, guitar, drums.

Željko is multi-lingual, being fluent in Greek, English, Russian, Polish and French as well as his native Serbian.^[4]

[edit] 1999-2004: Amajlija, Vreteno and 111

In 1999, Joksimović signed with City Records, a music label owned by a private Serbian television station RTV Pink. The young singer was promoted then as a folk and pop artist. His first studio album, titled Amajlija, included "Pesma Sirena" along with seven other tracks. His first big success was with the single "Telo Vreteno", written by himself and Dragan Brajić - Braja. The song went to #1 on the Serbian pop music charts, and became very popular in other former Yugoslav countries.

In 2000 Joksimović released his second studio album Vreteno named after a song on the album. Other tracks on the album included "Rintam", "Gadura" and "Petak na subotu". Two music videos were produced for songs on this album.

111 was released in 2002, soaring to #1 on the pop charts of Serbia and other countries of the region.

In 2003, Joksimović wrote the song "Čija Si" for Macedonian music legend Toše Proeski which led him to win Beovizija - The Serbian festival for choosing a representative for the 2004 Eurovision Song Contest. However, Proeski did not go to the contest that year, instead representing his home country Republic of Macedonia with "Life".

2004: Eurovision Song Contest 2004[link]

Joksimović performing "Lane Moje" for Serbia and Montenegro in ESC 2004. Istanbul, Turkey.

Serbia and Montenegro, sending an entrant for the first time to 2004 Eurovision Song Contest, decided on their representative through Evropesma 2004, a music festival and contest in Serbia and Montenegro. Joksimović won the contest with "Lane Moje", composed by Željko himself, along with lyricist Leontina Vukomanović.

In the semi-final, Joksimović placed first. However, in the final he placed second behind Ukrainian singer Ruslana, but did win "The Marcel Bezencon Press award" (Best Composer Award). "Lane Moje" was the best selling single in Serbia and Montenegro and other parts of Europe for many months.

[edit] 2004-2007: After Eurovison, IV and Platinum Collection

Željko Joksimović performing in a night club.

After the success in the Contest, the same year, Joksimović founded MINACORD PRODUCTION. Since then, he works and composes in his own studio. In middle time he composed and released the single "Ledja o Ledja" which gained a large popularity over the countries where Željko usually performs. In 2005, he once again composed a song for Serbia and Montenegro's national pre-selection for Eurovision called Beovizija. Željko composed the ballad "Jutro" (Morning) which was performed by Jelena Tomašević. The song seemed well-placed to make it to the Eurovision Song Contest 2005 contest in Kiev, after it emerged as the highest-scoring qualifier from the Serbian pre-selection, but ultimately missed out to win. In October 2005, he composed and performed a duet with Austrian singer Tamee Harrison. The song was titled I Live my Life For You" which was a success throughout Europe. Around this time, Željko wrote his first film score. In cooperation with Cobra production he composed music for the movie Ivkova slava (Ivko's fame). The same year he released his fourth studio album "IV" or "Ima nešto u tom što me nećes". In this album he changed the music style that was typical about him. The songs in the album are pop ballads with some ethnic Serbian folk elements. The CD sold over 800,000 copies over former Yugoslavia. In 2006, he composed the Eurovision Song Contest 2006 song Lejla for Bosnia and Herzegovina, performed by Hari Mata Hari. The song finished in third place, making it Bosnia's best performance in the contest. He also won the prestigious Best Composer Award (COMPOSERAWARD 2006), assigned to Željko by all composers who participated in that festival. In 2007 he released his second greatest hits compilation called Platinum Collection. The same year, in front of 18,000 people Joksimović made a concert where he sang all of his hits in the Belgrade Arena.

[edit] 2008-2011: Eurovision hosting and Ljubavi

Željko Joksimović together with Jovana Janković during the first semi-final ESC Belgade 2008..

In early 2008, Željko Joksimović composed a song that was performed by Jelena Tomašević in the Serbian national final for the Eurovision song selection, Beovizija 2008, called "Oro". The song is a folk ballad with traditional folk Serbian elements. Because the Eurovision Song Contest 2007 has been won by Serbia, the contest that year came in the country. On 24 March 2008 it was announced by the 2008 Eurovision organisers RTS that together with Jovana Janković he would host the Eurovision Song Contest 2008 in Belgrade, giving him two roles in the contest.^[5] Tomašević's song finished on the 6th place over 25 countries in the final.

After a year of a music pause he released his fifth studio album named Ljubavi (2009) by the production of Minacord and City Records. "Ljubavi" is the name from the pilot single from the album too. The single has a large success in Serbia and the neighboring countries. In early 2010 he released the second single from the album called "Žena Za Sva Vremena".

On June 12, 2010 he performed his biggest concert yet. It was held on the Asim Ferhatović Hase Stadium in Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, which can seat 37,500, though attendance for concerts can be expanded to reach about 80,000, in front of over 40,000 persons.

2012: Eurovision return[link]

On 18 November 2011, it was announced that Joksimović will represent Serbia in the Eurovision Song Contest 2012 in Baku, Azerbaijan.^[6] His song, "Nije Ljubav Stvar", was presented to the public on March 10, 2012. He finished third place and was runner-up.

The Serbian entry at the 57th "Eurovision Song Contest" in Azerbaijan is called "Nije ljubav stvar" a song composed and performed by Željko Joksimović. The lyrics are by Marina Tucaković and Miloš Roganović.

Along with the version in Serbian written by Marina Tucaković and Miloš Roganović, the English version of the song called "Synonym" by Ljilja Jorgovanović has also been presented. The arrangements of both versions were done by Željko Joksimović and Alek Alekov.

Along with Željko Joksimović, the Serbian team on the Eurovision stage in Baku will include members of the "Ad Hoc Orchestra": Ksenija Milošević - violin and backing vocals, Olga Vulović - violin and backing vocals, Miloš Nikolić - kaval and backing vocals, Dušan Alagić - backing vocals and instrumentalist, and Dragan Krstić - percussions and backing vocals.

The postproduction and mastering of "Nije ljubav stvar" in Serbian, and of the "Synonym" version in English was done James Cruz, an award-winning audio-mastering engineer in his New York studio.

Discography[link]

Studio albums[link]

• 1999 Amajlija [City Records]
• 2001 Vreteno [City Records]
• 2002 111 [City Records]
• 2005 IV [City Records]
• 2009 Ljubavi [Minacord]

Live albums[link]

• 2008 Željko Joksimović - Beogradska Arena Live [Minacord Records

Compilations[link]

• 2003 The Best Of Željko Joksimović
• 2007 Platinum Collection

Singles[link]

• 2004 Željko Joksimović - Leđa o leđa [City Records]
• 2004 Željko Joksimović - Lane moje CD+DVD [PGP RTS]
• 2004 Željko Joksimović - Lane moje/Goodbye (maxi-single) [Warner Music Group]
• 2005 Željko Joksimović & Tamee Harrison - I live my life for you [Warner Music]
• 2007 Željko Joksimović - Devojka [Minacord]
• 2007 Željko Joksimović - Nije do mene [Minacord]
• 2008 Željko Joksimović - Ono nase sto nekad bejase [Minacord]

Duets[link]

• 2002 Haris Džinović - Šta će meni više od toga
• 2005 Dino Merlin - Supermen
• 2005 Tamee Harrison - I Live My Life For You

Soundtracks[link]

• 2005 "Ivkova slava", (Željko Joksimović, Jelena Tomašević & Nikola Kojo) [Minacord - City Records]
• 2009 "Ranjeni Orao" [Minacord - City Records]

Other works[link]

• 2003 Toše Proeski - Song Cija Si - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Den Za Nas/Dan Za Nas
• 2005 Nava Medina - Song: Malah Shomer - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic
• 2005 Jelena Tomasevic - Song: Jutro - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Oro [PGP -RTS]
• 2006 Hari Mata Hari - Song: Lejla - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Lejla [BiH]
• 2007 Tose Proeski - Song: Nesanica - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Igra Bez Granica
• 2009 Halid Bešlić - Song: "Miljacka" - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Halid08 Bešlić
• 2008 Jelena Tomasevic - Song: Oro - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Oro [PGP -RTS]
• 2008 Eleftheria Arvanitaki - Song: To Telos mas Des - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Mirame Universal Music
• 2008 Melina Aslanidou - Song: Poso - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic, Album: Best of - Sto dromo Sony BMG
• 2008 Song: Nikola Tesla (Instrumental)[1] - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic feat. Jelena Tomasevic Album: balkan Routes vol.1:Nikola Tesla[Protasis]
• 2011 Lepa Brena - Song: Biber - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic
• 2011 Lepa Brena - Song: Ne bih bila ja - Composer: Zeljko Joksimovic

References[link]

External links[link]

• Željko Joksimović's Official website
• Zeljko Joksimovic Official YouTube
• Željko Joksimović's Official Myspace
• Željko Joksimović's Official facebook
• Radio Lane (Zeljko Joksimovic's radio station)
• [RTS http://www.rts.rs/page/rts/sr/pesma+evrovizije/Pesma-Evrovizije-2012.html ]
• Zeljko Joksimovic's profile on Story Online
• Željko Joksimović lyrics
• RTS ESC Facebook http://www.facebook.com/rts.zeljkojoksimovic?ref=tn_tnmn

See also[link]

• Evropesma
• Serbia and Montenegro in the Eurovision Song Contest
• Serbia in the Eurovision Song Contest
• List of Eurovision Song Contest presenters

Awards and achievements
Preceded by Extra Nena with Ljubim te pesmama	Serbia and Montenegro in the Eurovision Song Contest 2004	Succeeded by No Name with Zauvijek moja
Preceded by Mikko Leppilampi & Jaana Pelkonen	Eurovision Song Contest presenter (with Jovana Janković) 2008	Succeeded by Semi-Finals: Natalia Vodianova & Andrey Malahov Final: Alsou & Ivan Urgant
Preceded by Fitst title	Performer of The Best Song in Balkans 2009	Succeeded by Aurela Gaçe with Origjinale
Preceded by Fitst title	Best Male Performer in the Balkans 2009	Succeeded by Serdar Ortaç
Preceded by Nina with Čaroban	Serbia in the Eurovision Song Contest 2012	Succeeded by [to be determined]

v t e Serbia and Montenegro in the Eurovision Song Contest1   Participation 2004 2005   Artists 2000s Željko Joksimović No Name   Songs 2000s "Lane moje" "Zauvijek moja" 1Competed separately as Serbia and Montenegro from 2007 (Note: Entries scored out are when Serbia and Montenegro did not compete)

v t e Serbia in the Eurovision Song Contest Serbia and Montenegro in the Eurovision Song Contest1   Participation 2004 2005 2007 2008 2009 2010 2011 2012   Artists 2000s Željko Joksimović No Name Marija Šerifović Jelena Tomašević feat. Bora Dugić Marko Kon & Milaan 2010s Milan Stanković Nina Željko Joksimović   Songs 2000s "Lane moje" "Zauvijek moja" "Molitva" "Oro" "Cipela" 2010s "Ovo je Balkan" "Čaroban" "Nije Ljubav Stvar" 1Competed as Serbia and Montenegro in 2004 to 2005 (Note: Entries scored out are when Serbia did not compete)

Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Željko Joksimović

The Neistat Brothers, Casey Neistat (born in New London, Connecticut, on March 25, 1981) and Van Neistat (born Van Paul Moody in Augusta, Maine, on March 22, 1975), are filmmakers based in New York City. Their self-titled television show, The Neistat Brothers, debuted on HBO in 2010. The pair have created over two hundred films, according to their website,^[1] most notably iPod's Dirty Secret, focusing on Apple's policy on replacing iPod batteries, and Bike Thief, chronicling the ease with which they steal their own bicycle. Their films have been shown in film festivals, art museums and various institutions around the world.

HBO[link]

In July 2008 Home Box Office HBO purchased a television series entitled The Neistat Brothers. The eight episode series was created by Casey Neistat, Van Neistat and Tom Scott. Written and directed by Casey and Van the show is autobiographical and told from the first person. Each of the eight episodes is made up of short stories about the brothers lives. The show premiered June 4, 2010 at midnight on HBO.

iPod's Dirty Secret[link]

They gained international fame in late 2003 for a three minute film titled iPod's Dirty Secret, criticising Apple's lack of a battery replacement program for the iPod. Their film received national media exposure and brought broad attention on Apple's policy towards iPod battery replacements.^[2]

The video clip begins with a phone call to the Apple Support 800 number, and a conversation between Casey Neistat and an operator named Ryan. Casey explains that after 18 months of use his iPod battery is dead. Ryan suggests that for the cost of labor and shipping to replace the battery Casey is better off buying a new iPod. To the music of NWA's rap song "Express Yourself" the brothers begin a "public service announcement" campaign to inform consumers about the batteries. Using a stenciled sign reading "iPod's Unreplaceable Battery Lasts Only 18 Months", they spray paint the warning over iPod advertisement posters on the streets of Manhattan.

Reaction[link]

The film was posted to the Internet on November 20, 2003 and within six weeks was viewed over a million times. The film quickly attracted media attention and the controversy was covered worldwide by over 130 sources including The Washington Post, Rolling Stone Magazine, Fox News, CBS News, and BBC News. The film was praised as "wonderfully renegade" by the Washington Post.^[3]

Apple officially announced a battery replacement policy on November 14, 2003^[4] and also announced an extended iPod warranty program on November 21.^[5] The Washington Post incorrectly stated that both programs were announced "days after" the movie became public.^[3] Fox News set the date of the policy change at "two weeks" after the posting of the clip and Neil Cavuto called it a "David and Goliath story" on Fox News Your World. Apple spokeswoman Natalie Sequeira denied any connection between the film and the new policy, stating the policy revision had been in the works for months before the film was released.^[3]

Bike Thief[link]

The Neistat Brothers created Bike Thief,^[6] a film documenting their repeated success in stealing their own bike even when making their intentions obvious, free of intervention from passersby. The video got coverage on a local Fox morning show in which they were supposed to demonstrate how easy it was to steal a bike but instead played a prank on the host by pretending to accidentally amputate a finger. Her reaction gained coverage in press and on the Internet.

References[link]

1. ^ website
2. ^ New York Magazine review
3. ^ ^{a b c} "Battery and Assault", The Washington Post, Hank Steuver, 20 December 2003.
4. ^ Kim, Arnold (November 14, 2003). "iPod Battery Replacement Details from Apple". MacRumors.com. http://www.macrumors.com/2003/11/14/ipod-battery-replacement-details-from-apple/. Retrieved October 16, 2011. 
5. ^ Kim, Arnold (November 21, 2003). "AppleCare for iPod". MacRumors.com. http://www.macrumors.com/2003/11/21/applecare-for-ipod/. Retrieved October 16, 2011. 
6. ^ Bike Thief on YouTube

External links[link]

• Neistat Brothers on Facebook
• Casey Neistat on Dailymotion
• YouTube Channel Page
• Casey Neistat on Vimeo
• Neistat Brothers Official Website

Diane Lane
Lane at the 61st Berlin International Film Festival (2011)
Born	(1965-01-22) January 22, 1965 (age 47) New York City, New York, United States
Occupation	Actress
Years active	1979–present
Spouse	Christopher Lambert (1988–1994; divorced; 1 child) Josh Brolin (2004–present)
Website
http://www.dianelane.com/ (offline)

Diane Lane (born January 22, 1965) is an American film actress.

Born and raised in New York City, Lane made her screen debut at the age of 13 in George Roy Hill's 1979 film A Little Romance, starring opposite Sir Laurence Olivier. Soon after, she was featured on the cover of Time magazine. She has since appeared in several notable films, including the 2002 film Unfaithful, which earned her Academy Award, Golden Globes and Screen Actors Guild Award nominations.

Lane has been married to actor Josh Brolin since 2004. She was previously married to actor Christopher Lambert from 1988 to 1994.

Early life[link]

Lane was born in New York City. Her mother, Colleen Farrington, was a nightclub singer and Playboy centerfold (Miss October 1957), who was also known as "Colleen Price". Her father, Burton Eugene Lane, was a Manhattan drama coach who ran an acting workshop with John Cassavetes, worked as a cab driver, and later taught humanities at City College.^[1] When Lane was 13 months old, her parents split up. Her mother went to Mexico and obtained a divorce while retaining custody of her daughter until the child was six.^[1] Her father got custody of her after Farrington moved to Georgia. Lane and her father lived in a number of residential hotels in New York City and she would ride with him in his taxi.^[2]

When Lane was fifteen years old, she declared her independence from her father and ran away to Los Angeles for a week with actor and friend Christopher Atkins. Lane later remarked, "It was reckless behavior that comes from having too much independence too young."^[2] She returned to New York and moved in with a friend's family, paying them rent. In 1981, she enrolled in high school after taking correspondence courses. However, Lane's mother kidnapped her and took the teenager back to Georgia. Lane and her father challenged her mother in court and six weeks later she was back in New York. Lane did not speak to her mother for the subsequent three years, but they have since reconciled.^[2]

Career[link]

Early work[link]

Lane's maternal grandmother, Eleanor Scott, was a thrice-married Pentecostal preacher of the Apostolic denomination, and Lane was influenced by the theatrical quality of her grandmother's sermons.^[3][4] Lane began acting professionally at the age of six at the La MaMa Experimental Theater Club in New York, where she appeared in a production of Medea. At 12 she had a role in Joseph Papp's production of The Cherry Orchard with Meryl Streep.^[1] Also at this time, Lane was enrolled in an accelerated program at Hunter College High School and was put on notice when her grades suffered from her busy schedule.^[1] At 13 years old, she turned down a role in Runaways on Broadway to make her feature film debut opposite Laurence Olivier in A Little Romance.^[2] Lane won high praise from Olivier who declared her 'The New Grace Kelly'.^[5] At the same time Lane was featured on the cover of Time, which declared her one of Hollywood's "Whiz Kids."^[6][7]

In the early 1980s, Lane made a successful transition from child actor to adult roles. Her breakout performances came with back-to-back adaptations of young adult novels by S. E. Hinton, adapted and directed by Francis Ford Coppola: The Outsiders in 1982 and Rumble Fish in 1983. Both films also featured memorable performances from a number of young male actors who would go on to become leading men in the next decade (as well as members of the so-called "Brat Pack"), including Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, C. Thomas Howell, Emilio Estevez, the late Patrick Swayze, Mickey Rourke, Nicolas Cage, and Matt Dillon.^[1] Lane's distinction among these heavily male casts advanced her career while affiliating her with this young generation of male actors. Andy Warhol proclaimed her, "the undisputed female lead of Hollywood's new rat pack."^[8]

However, the two films that could have catapulted her to star status, Streets of Fire (she turned down Splash and Risky Business for this film)^[5][9] and The Cotton Club, were both commercial and critical failures, and her career languished as a result.^[1] After The Cotton Club, Lane dropped out of the movie business and lived with her mother in Georgia.^[10] According to the actress, "I hadn't been close to my mom for a long time, so we had a lot of homework to do. We had to repair our relationship because I wanted my mother back".^[11]

Lane at the 41st Emmy Awards on September 17, 1989.

Lane returned to acting to appear in The Big Town and Lady Beware, but it was not until 1989's popular and critically acclaimed TV miniseries Lonesome Dove that Lane made another big impression on a sizable audience,^[10] and was nominated for an Emmy Award^[12] for her role. She was given positive reviews for her performance in the independent film My New Gun, which was well received at the Cannes Film Festival. She went on to appear as actress Paulette Goddard in Sir Richard Attenborough's big-budget biopic of Charles Chaplin, 1992's Chaplin.^[8] Lane won further praise for her role in 1999's A Walk on the Moon, opposite Viggo Mortensen. One reviewer wrote, "Lane, after years in post-teenaged-career limbo, is meltingly effective."^[13] The film's director, Tony Goldwyn, described Lane as having "...this potentially volcanic sexuality that is in no way self-conscious or opportunistic."^[14] Lane earned an Independent Spirit Award nomination for Best Female Lead. At this time, she was interested in making a film about actress Jean Seberg in which she would play Seberg.^[15]

Recent work[link]

In 2000, Lane had a supporting role as Mark Wahlberg's love interest in The Perfect Storm. In 2002, she starred in Unfaithful, a drama film directed by Adrian Lyne and adapted from the French film The Unfaithful Wife. Lane played a housewife who indulges in an adulterous fling with a mysterious book dealer. The film featured several sex scenes. Lyne's repeated takes for these scenes were very demanding for the actors involved, especially for Lane, who had to be emotionally and physically fit for the duration.^[16] Unfaithful received mostly mixed to negative reviews, though Lane earned widespread praise for her performance. Entertainment Weekly critic Owen Gleiberman stated that "Lane, in the most urgent performance of her career, is a revelation. The play of lust, romance, degradation, and guilt on her face is the movie's real story."^[17] She followed that film up with Under the Tuscan Sun, based on the best-selling book by Frances Mayes.

In 2008, Lane reunited with Richard Gere for the romantic drama Nights in Rodanthe. It is the third film Gere and Lane filmed together. The film was based on the novel of the same title by Nicholas Sparks. Lane also co-starred in Jumper, and Untraceable in the same year. She then appeared in Killshot with Mickey Rourke, which was given a limited theatrical release before being released on DVD in 2009. While promoting Nights in Rodanthe, she expressed frustration with being typecast and stated that she was "gunning for something that's not so sympathetic. I need to be a bitch, and I need to be in a comedy. I've decided. No more Miss Nice Guy."^[18] The actress has even contemplated quitting acting and spending more time with her family if she is unable to get these kinds of roles. She said in an interview, "I can't do anything official. My agents won't let me. Between you and me, I don't have anything else coming out."^[18]

In 2010, Lane starred in Secretariat, a Disney film about the relationship between the 1973 Triple Crown-winning racehorse and his owner, Penny Chenery, whom Lane portrayed.^[19] In 2011, it was announced that Lane would play Martha Kent in Zack Snyder's Superman film, " Man of Steel," that will be released in theaters on June 14th, 2013. Snyder said of her casting, "We are thrilled to have Diane in the role because she can convey the wisdom and the wonder of a woman whose son has powers beyond her imagination."^[20]

Awards[link]

Four days before the New York Film Critics Circle's vote in 2002, Lane was given a career tribute by the Film Society of Lincoln Center. A day before that, Lyne held a dinner for the actress at the Four Seasons Hotel. Critics and award voters were invited to both.^[21] She went on to win the National Society of Film Critics, the New York Film Critics Circle awards and was nominated for a Golden Globe and an Academy Award for Best Actress. In 2003, she was named ShoWest's 2003 Female Star of the Year, ^[22] and was also a co-recipient of the Women in Film Crystal Award honoring outstanding women in entertainment.^[23]

Lane ranked at #79 on VH1's 100 Greatest Kid Stars. She was ranked #45 on AskMen.com's Top 99 Most Desirable Women in 2005,^[24] #85 in 2006^[25] and #98 in 2007.^[26]

Personal life[link]

Marriages and family[link]

Lane with husband Josh Brolin in December 2009.

Lane met actor Christopher Lambert in Paris while promoting The Cotton Club in 1984.^[2] They had a brief affair and split up. They met again two years later in Rome to make a film together, entitled After the Rain, and in two weeks they were a couple again. Lane and Lambert married in October 1988 in Santa Fe, New Mexico.^[2] They had a daughter, Eleanor Jasmine Lambert (born September 5, 1993), and were divorced following a prolonged separation in 1994.^[27]

Lane became engaged to actor Josh Brolin in July 2003^[28] and they were married on August 15, 2004.^[29] On December 20 of that year, she called police after an altercation with him, and he was arrested on a misdemeanor charge of domestic battery. Lane declined to press charges, however, and the couple's spokesperson described the incident as a "misunderstanding."^[30]

Charity work[link]

Lane is also involved in several charities, including Heifer International, which focuses on world hunger, and Artists for Peace and Justice, a Hollywood organization that supports Haiti relief. However, she tries not to draw attention to her humanitarian efforts: "Sometimes I give with my heart. Sometimes I give financially, but there's something about [helping others] that I think ought to be anonymous. I don't want it to be a boastful thing."^[31]

Filmography[link]

References[link]

Further reading[link]

• Ascher-Walsh, Rebecca. Confidence: The Ultimate Seducer. Men's Health. Accessed March 25, 2010.
• Radziwill, Carole. Gorgeous At Any Age: Diane Lane. Glamour magazine. September 1, 2008. Accessed March 25, 2010.
• Saroyan, Strawberry. Diane Lane: a fortysomething sex symbol. Daily Telegraph. October 5, 2008. Accessed March 25, 2010.
• Robinson, Tasha. Interview: Diane Lane. The Onion A.V. Club. October 7, 2010. Accessed October 8, 2010.
• Diane Lane: Her Best Roles - Empire magazine
• Kaplan, Michael. Diane Lane: A Career with a View . Movieline. April 1, 1996. Accessed June 30, 2011.
• Rebello, Stephen. Diane Lane: Sudden Lane Changes. Movieline. October 1, 2003. Accessed June 30, 2011.
• Hensley, Dennis. Diane Lane: Lane Changes. Movieline. June 1, 2000. Accessed June 30, 2011.

External links[link]

Wikimedia Commons has media related to: Diane Lane

• Diane Lane at the Internet Movie Database
• Diane Lane at AllRovi
• Diane Lane at Yahoo! Movies
• Diane Lane at Film Reference
• Diane Lane at Emmys.com

This article relies largely or entirely upon a single source. Please help improve this article by introducing citations to additional sources. Discussion about the problems with the sole source used may be found on the talk page. (November 2009)

The Fast Show, known as Brilliant in the US, was a BBC comedy sketch show programme that ran for three series from 1994 to 1997 with a special Last Fast Show Ever in 2000. The show's central performers were Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day, Mark Williams, John Thomson, Arabella Weir and Caroline Aherne. Other significant cast members included Paul Shearer, Felix Dexter, Rhys Thomas, Jeff Harding, Maria McErlane, Eryl Maynard, Colin McFarlane and Donna Ewin.

The show produced two national tours, the first in 1998 with the cast of the BBC surrealist comedy quiz show Shooting Stars and the second being their 'Farewell Tour' in 2002. The Fast Show was loosely structured and relied on character comedy, recurring running gags, and many catchphrases. Its fast-paced "blackout" style set it apart from traditional sketch series because of the number and relative brevity of its sketches; a typical half-hour TV sketch comedy of the period might have consisted of nine or ten major items, with contrived situations and extended setups, whereas the premiere episode of The Fast Show featured twenty-seven sketches in thirty minutes,^[1] with some items lasting less than ten seconds and none running longer than three minutes. Its innovative style and presentation influenced many later series such as The Catherine Tate Show and Little Britain.

It was one of the most popular sketch shows of the 1990s. The show has been released on VHS, DVD and audio CD. Some of its characters, Ron Manager, Ted and Ralph, Swiss Toni and Billy Bleach have had their own spin-off programmes.

Charlie Higson announced on 5 September 2011 that The Fast Show would return for a new online only series starting 14 November.^[2] The premiere date was changed later to 10 November.^[3]

Style and content[link]

The Fast Show was the brainchild of Paul Whitehouse and his writing partner and friend, Charlie Higson (who had previously enjoyed some success in the UK as a musician with the band The Higsons). After meeting through a mutual friend (Whitehouse's longtime flatmate, guitarist and writer David Cummings) comedian Harry Enfield invited Whitehouse to write for him and Whitehouse in turn asked Higson to help him out; soon after, Enfield got his break into TV with the series Harry Enfield and Chums and became nationally famous in the UK.^[1]

In the early 1990s Higson and Whitehouse worked extensively with Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, writing for and performing in the series The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer and Bang Bang, It's Reeves and Mortimer (both of which Higson produced). These series also featured occasional appearances by future Fast Show cast members Caroline Aherne, Simon Day and Mark Williams. Higson made many appearances in minor roles, while Williams and Whitehouse had recurring roles (with Vic and Bob) in The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer, parodying the members of rock group Slade in the popular "Slade in Residence" and "Slade on Holiday" sketches.

Inspired by a press preview tape of Enfield's show, compiled by producer friend Geoffrey Perkins and consisting of fast-cut highlights of Enfield's sketches, the pair began stockpiling material and developing the idea of a rapid-fire 'MTV generation' format based wholly on quick cuts and soundbites/catchphrases. After unsuccessfully trying to sell the series to ITV through an independent production company, Higson and Whitehouse approached the new controller of BBC2, Michael Jackson; fortunately, he was then looking for new shows to replace several high-profile series that had been recently lost to BBC1, and their show was picked up by BBC2.^[1]

Whitehouse and Higson, the co-producers and main writers, then assembled the original team of writers and performers, which included David Cummings, Mark Williams, Caroline Aherne, Paul Shearer, Simon Day, Arabella Weir, John Thomson, Graham Linehan and Arthur Mathews (of Father Ted fame), Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer and Craig Cash (who went on to write and perform with Aherne in The Royle Family). Musical director Philip Pope was also an established comedy actor with extensive experience in TV and radio comedy, and had previously appeared in series such as Who Dares Wins and KYTV; he also enjoyed success as a comedy recording artist as part of the Bee Gees parody group The HeeBeeGeebees.

The Fast Show was a working title disliked by both Whitehouse and Higson but it went unchanged through production and eventually remained as the final title.^{[citation needed]}

The first series introduced many signature characters and sketches including Ted and Ralph, Unlucky Alf, The Fat Sweaty Coppers, Ron Manager, Roy and Renée, Ken and Kenneth (The Suit You Tailors), Arthur Atkinson, Bob Fleming, Brilliant Kid, Insecure Woman, Janine Carr, Denzil Dexter, Carl Hooper, Ed Winchester, the Patagonian buskers, "Jazz Club" and the popular parody "Chanel 9".

Many characters were never given any 'official' name, with their sketches being written to give their catchphrase as the punchline of each sketch. Examples include "Anyone fancy a pint?" (played by Whitehouse), "You ain't seen me, right!" (a mysterious gangster-like character played by Mark Williams), "I'll get me coat" (Williams) and "Ha!", a sarcastic elderly woman played by Weir.

Other long-standing running jokes in the programme included the fictitious snack food "Cheesy Peas" in various forms, shapes and flavours, in satirical adverts presented by a twangy, Northern lad (Paul Whitehouse) who claims, "They're good for your teas!"and has since become a reality thanks to UK TV chef Jamie Oliver [1]. The dire earnestness of the born-again Christian was parodied in another popular group of sketches where various characters responded to any comment or question by extolling the virtues of "Our Lord Jesus" and ended the sketch with the exclamation "He died for all our sins, didn't he?" or something similar; and most controversially, "We're from the Isle of Man", featuring a stereotype of weird, surreal, townsfolk in a setting portrayed as an abjectly impoverished and desolate cultural wasteland.

Some of the characters resembled parodies of well-known personalities: for example, Louis Balfour, host of "Jazz Club" was reminiscent of Bob Harris of The Old Grey Whistle Test^{[citation needed]} and Ron Manager of football pundits Trevor Brooking and Graham Taylor. However, the parodic intent of this character is broader, and portrays how often football pundits have little to say of any real substance and sometimes waffle.^{[citation needed]} Paul Whitehouse said that Ron Manager was based on ex-Luton Town & Fulham manager Alec Stock [2]. Arthur Atkinson is a composite of Arthur Askey and Max Miller.

The show ended in 2000, with a three-part "Last Ever" show, in the first episode of which Fast Show fan Johnny Depp had a guest-starring role as a customer of The Suit You Tailors, after three series and a Christmas special.

The theme tune was "Release Me", a song which had been a hit for pop singer Engelbert Humperdinck. In the first series it was performed over the opening credits by Whitehouse in the guise of abnormally transfiguring singer Kenny Valentine. In subsequent series, the tune only appeared in the closing credits, played on the saxophone.

Major characters[link]

The show featured many characters and sketches. Some of the more prominent recurring characters/sketches are:

• 'Unlucky' Alf, the lonely old pensioner living somewhere in northern England for whom nothing ever goes right. His hook is his resigned "Oh bugger!" as something terrible happens. He often predicts a bad event that is quite obvious, only to find something else occurs as he tries to avoid the first problem. (Paul Whitehouse, all series)
• Anyone fancy a pint? A man (Whitehouse) who find himself in boring or bizarre situations, such as a dinner party where a woman is talking about how she was abandoned as a child and crying about everyone letting her down. Whitehouse then interrupts at the most insensitive moment asking "anyone fancy a pint?", before he and most of the men in the room leave. One early sketch featured Higson portraying an earnest claymation animator (a parody of Nick Park) who describes the animation process in excruciatingly tedious detail by moving each feature "just a tiny amount" until Whitehouse's character sneaks away, whispering the punchline. According to the commentary in The Ultimate Fast Show, Nick Park loved the sketch and sent copies of it to friends and family that year as a video Xmas card.
• Archie the pub bore. Talks to people in the pub, and when they mention their profession, no matter what it is and however unlikely, he always claims to have had the same profession ("I used to be a single mother myself"), saying that it is the 'hardest game in the world. Thirty years, man and boy!' He has an obsession with Frank Sinatra, almost invariably steering the conversation towards the singer and weakly singing the title line of "High Hopes", after mentioning how he and his friend Stan fared on a recent fishing trip. (Whitehouse, series 3)
• Arthur Atkinson, parody of 1940s music hall entertainers such as Max Miller and Arthur Askey, played by Paul Whitehouse, introduced by Tommy Cockles (Simon Day), himself a parody of presenters of TV history, especially Denis Norden (Whitehouse, all series)
• Billy Bleach, tousle-mopped, interfering pub know-it-all who gets it all wrong, usually ending up with others losing money. His catchphrases include "Hold the bells" and "Someone's sitting there, mate". This character starred in his own series, Grass which was shown on BBC Three, later shown on BBC Two. (Day, all series)
• Bob Fleming, the ageing, incompetent West Country host of Country Matters, who has an extremely bad cough. The character's surname is a pun on 'phlegm-ing.' (Higson, all series) 'Country matters' is also an in-joke for those who know it is a Shakespearean euphemism for cunnilingus.
• Brilliant Kid. In the first draft of the script for the pilot, the character was called Eric and was described as "a young Yorkshire man"^[4] but in the series he is never named. He delivers an edited monologue listing everyday things, all of which he declares to be 'brilliant!' or 'fantastic!' as he walks through a series of random backgrounds (filmed in widely varied locations ranging from the Tees Valley to Iceland) during which the quality and format of the images also randomly changes (e.g. from colour to b/w). In one episode it is shown that he isn't sure about whether everything really is 'brilliant' or not, and as he's walking through one solid background, an abandoned funfair, he debates with himself half heartedly ("Everything is brilliant...right? I mean...it might not be...nah, it is!") (Whitehouse, all series)
• Carl Hooper, Australian presenter of That's Amazing, a spoof of pop-science shows. Normally the person on his show was trying to pass off an everyday animal or object as something magical. The one occasion where a guest had a truly amazing story to tell was unbroadcastable due to the guest's inability to refrain from swearing excitedly while relating the tale (Day, all series)
• Chanel 9, a low-budget television channel from a country known only as "Republicca", ruled by "El Presidente" who resembled a stereotypical Latin American dictator. Chanel 9 parodied the sort of programmes that British people end up watching on holiday around the Mediterranean. The stars, usually Paul Whitehouse, Paul Shearer and Caroline Aherne, speak a concocted language loosely based on Italian, Greek, Spanish and Portuguese, mashed together with nonsensical phrases (e.g. "sminky pinky") and incongruous English names and words (e.g. footballer Chris Waddle). Early segments featured the Chanel 9 news, read by anchormen Poutremos Poutra-Poutremos (Whitehouse) and Kolothos Apollonia (Shearer), followed by the weather forecast with meteorologist Poula Fisch (Aherne), invariably reporting a temperature for all locations of 45 °C (113 °F) while exclaiming "scorchio!" with apparent surprise. Sporting news was presented by Antonios Gubba - whose name is based on the commentator Tony Gubba - (Simon Day), seated at a much lower desk and talking with a low voice. Later Chanel 9 sketches consisted of several short segments, usually interspersed with parodic advertisements for the ubiquitous "Gizmo" a bizarre mechanical product which could be used with equal efficacy in the kitchen, garden or bedroom. Other Chanel 9 programmes, including a cartoon, a current affairs discussion, a quiz show, a soap opera ("El Amora Y El Passionna") and a variety series, were added in later sketches. Key catchphrases included the Republiccan greeting and farewell, "Buono estente" and "Boutros Boutros-Ghali" (the name of the then UN Secretary-General).
• Chip Cobb, the deaf stuntman, a TV and film stuntman who, because of his hearing problems, always mishears his instructions and proceeds to carry them out wrongly before anyone can stop him, much to the despair of the film crew. (Thomson, series 3)
• Chris the Crafty Cockney, claims to be an incurable kleptomaniac ("I'll nick anything, me"). He is left alone with something valuable and invariably steals it. Because of how up-front he is of his thieving nature, other people tend to believe he's joking. In one sketch, he even alludes to being an actual clinical kleptomaniac and involuntarily steals from his friend Dan after he trusts Chris to watch his newspaper stall, after extensively warning him of the risks involved in doing so. (Whitehouse, series 2–3)
• Colin Hunt, unfunny and irritating office joker whose name gives an indication of his personality (Higson, series 2–3)
• Competitive Dad, who is overcritical and demanding of his kids, and always has to get one up on them. (Day, series 2–3). Day explained in an interview that he had based the idea for the character from a man he noticed in a public swimming pool that challenged his two young children to a race. Day thought he'd let them win, but instead he took off and stood on the other end of the pool waiting for his toddler sons to struggle their way across the pool. He (Day) thought of it as "sick".
• Dave Angel, Eco-Warrior, a classic Essex geezer who, despite his get-up and rather lavish lifestyle, is improbably concerned about saving the planet (though this is often undermined by his wife's behaviour), Mike Oldfield records, and swinging. A parody of a late-night magazine programme presented by Mike Reid. "Moonlight Shadow" by Mike Oldfield & Maggie Reilly is used as the theme tune to sketches featuring the character (Day, series 3)
• Professor Denzil Dexter of the University of Southern California and his various bizarre scientific experiments, long-haired and highly laid-back. (Thomson, series 1–2, online series)
• The 13th Duke of Wymbourne, posh, rumpled dinner-jacketed, lecherous cigar smoker, reminisces about finding himself in wholly unsuitable places considering his 'reputation'. Based on the characters of Terry-Thomas. (Whitehouse, series 3)
• Ed Winchester, an American reporter. He beams at the camera and says "Hi! I'm Ed Winchester!" in a very upbeat voice, before the camera cuts to another scene. In his last appearance in Series 2 he appears to have been cut off as he then mentions Jesus straight after introducing himself. (Jeff Harding).
• Even Better Than That!, a slack-jawed, not too bright man who comes back from the shops with something ridiculously unnecessary instead of what his wife sent him for (Williams, series 3)
• The Fat, Sweaty Coppers A squad of police officers who cannot do their job properly as they are extremely overweight due to their constant eating and drinking.(Thomson and Weir included, series 1-2)
• Gideon Soames, white-haired, posh-talking architecture and history professor, possibly a cross between Simon Schama & Brian Sewell, with some elements of Bamber Gascoigne. Despite the serious tone of his speeches, the "history" of them becomes increasingly ridiculous. (Day series 2–3)
• Giggly Woman, a woman who seems very confident until a man she likes enters the room, and then goes all childish, as if she fancies him. The character debuted in series 1 during a small segment in the credits, but only became a recurring character later on. (Weir, series 3)
• The Historian, a jubilant, but emotionally imbalanced man who patrols the corridors of an historic boys academy alone whilst telling tall tales about former traditions both cruel and unreasonable. (Williams, series 3)
• I'll Get Me Coat, a socially inept Brummie, who is unable to make any appropriate contribution to a conversation, and therefore disgraces himself with a faux pas before using the punchline and leaving (Williams, all series)
• I'm not Pissed, a family - mother (Maria McErlane), father (Williams) and son (Day) - who are regularly pointing out that they are not drunk despite the fact they are taking regular swigs from gin bottles, beer cans etc. (series 2)
• Insecure Woman, who appears in a variety of different locations, usually exclaiming, "Does my bum look big in this?" (Weir, all series)
• Invisible Woman, who tries to converse with a group of men but is completely ignored, only for a man to repeat what she said and receive congratulations from the others for such a good idea. (Weir)
• Jesse, a taciturn country bumpkin who exclaims his strange diets, fashion tastes and experiments, in a single sentence "This week, I 'ave been mostly..." - except for one sketch, where he said "This week, I 'aven't been 'ungry." (Williams, series 2–3)
• John Actor, who plays Inspector Monkfish, the tough uncompromising cop who often exclaims to the nearest woman, "Put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea!" (Day, series 2–3, online series). Loosely based on the BBC series Dangerfield. There were variations on the show's format, two examples being Monkfish as a tough, uncompromising doctor in Monkfish M.D. and Monkfish as a tough, uncompromising vet in All Monkfish Great and Small. One Monkfish sketch even crossed over onto Chanel 9. Sometime between the end of series 3 and the last episode, John Actor died yet the series is apparently continuing in the manner of Taggart after the death of the lead actor.
• Johnny Nice Painter, who is painting a scene and describing all the colours. Whenever he mentions the colour "black", however, he becomes more and more depressed, eventually going somewhat insane and shouting wildly about the despair of mankind, despite the best efforts of his wife Katie (Weir) to prevent him from doing so. His appearance is based on TV painter Alwyn Crawshaw (Higson, series 3, online series)
• Ken and Kenneth, two tailors in a men's formal wear shop, who bombard potential customers with sexually explicit innuendo about their private life, frequently interjecting the catchphrase "Ooh! Suit you sir!", much to the discomfort of the customer. They become confused and even frightened in two episodes; one when they get a customer who is gay, and another with a customer (played by Day) who is as willing to talk about sexual deviance as they are. Due to Williams absence from the online series, his character Kenneth will be written out and replaced by Kenton, played by Charlie Higson. (Whitehouse and Williams: 1,2,3, and Whitehouse and Higson: online specials)
• Louis Balfour, pretentious and ultra laid-back presenter of Jazz Club (a parody of The Old Grey Whistle Test), based on a blend of Bob Harris and Roger Moore. He also has a remarkable similarity to Geoffrey Smith, presenter of Jazz Record Requests on Radio 3). Seemingly having done his 'research', he introduces his guests by comparing them to avant-garde jazz musicians or describing their style/technique by using complex musical phraseology. These guests usually turn out to be utterly talentless 'experimentalists', much to his bemusement. His catchphrase "Nice!" was delivered by turning to a different camera for that word only. Later he delivered other words in a similar manner. (Thomson, series 2–3, online series)
• Luvvie an over-the-top thespian describes his character and mentions that he needs to spend hours being made up when he is actually done in a few seconds (Thomson, series 3)
• Monster Monster, a vampire who creeps up on a slumbering woman and gives her betting advice (Whitehouse, series 3). The set-up is a parody of a scene from the 1922 German classic horror film Nosferatu, while the vampire's voice and catchphrase of "Monster, monster" are based on Eric Hall.
• No Offence, a rude, orange-faced South African department store cosmetics saleswoman who has no qualms about informing women of their physical imperfections, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she looks like a dried-out old orange herself. (Weir, series 3)
• "Our" Janine Carr, teenage mum with a unique world outlook. She refuses to reveal who the father of her baby is because "it's not fair to grass on your headmaster" (Aherne, series 1–2, online series)
• The Offroaders, Simon and Lindsey, despite their unusually high confidence and esteem, are useless at their hobby ("sorted!", "gripped!"). (Higson and Whitehouse, all series)
• Patrick Nice, a man who tells far-fetched, sometimes odd stories followed by him calmingly saying his catchphrase, "Which was nice." (Williams, series 2–3)
• Prawn Sandwich Man, a man who seems to talk a lot about football as if a true Arsenal supporter, but makes it glaringly obvious he knows nothing about the game (Thomson, series 3)
• Ron Manager, a football commentator who speaks in incoherent sentence fragments on randomly divergent trains of thought. He usually appears with interviewer (Day) and fellow commentator Tommy (Williams), and whenever a question is posed to Tommy, Ron Manager often begins one of his nonsensical train-of-thoughts based on one of the words or names in the question. Based on former football manager from the 60s and 70s, Alec Stock.^[5] (Whitehouse: all TV and online series)
• Rowley Birkin QC, a retired barrister, tells mostly unintelligible stories at the fireside. Occasionally, his speech becomes coherent for a short while, containing strange phrases such as "The whole thing was made completely out of matchsticks" or "Snake! Snake!". Almost always ends his stories with a sly "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk!" In the final episode of series 2, his rambling anecdote appeared to involve a woman for whom he had great affection and ended with a close-up of faint tears on his cheeks, while the usual "very drunk" line was delivered in an unexpectedly moving, sorrowful voice. . The character is reprised as a working barrister in the spin-off feature Ted and Ralph. Whitehouse revealed on the UK chatshow Parkinson that the character was based on Andrew Rollo whom he met on a fishing trip to Iceland; Rollo appeared in the Fast Show documentary, which revealed how closely Rowley's speech resembled that of his real-life inspiration. At the end of a Christmas episode the caption revealed that he died. "Rowley Birkin QC 1918 - 2000", however despite this on-screen demise he will appear in the 2011 online specials.(Whitehouse, TV series 2–3, and online series)
• Roy & Renée, endless chattering from Renée and her quiet, submissive husband Roy, whom she expects to meekly agree with everything she says. Roy always embarrasses her at the end of every sketch, after which he gets a stinging reprimand from his wife. She makes her last appearance in the show during the 1996 Christmas Special, when Roy's mother finally gives in to holding back the resentment towards Renée's smug attitude. (Thomson and Aherne, series 1–2)
• Rubbish Dad, the father and opposite of Brilliant Kid who proclaims everything to be "rubbish". He is usually only seen in an industrial scrapheap area. The one thing he does like is Des Lynam. (Thomson, all series)
• The Shags, a child-less couple who are seen in the midst of very graphic sexual intercourse, much to the discomfort of their neighbours. Among other things they were seen at it in a tent in a sports shop, in a tree in the park and even on a bed being carried by removal men as they moved into the neighbourhood.
• Swiss Toni, a car salesman who compares everything to seducing and making love to a beautiful woman, usually in the presence of his bemused trainee Paul (Rhys Thomas). This was also the title of a short-lived spin-off sitcom, featuring Toni in the car dealership which he worked. Swiss is the only non-original character in the show. He had previously appeared in the second series of The Smell of Reeves and Mortimer in 1995, which was produced by Higson and featured cameos from many members of The Fast Show. (Higson: TV series 3 and online)
• Ted & Ralph – country squire Lord Ralph Mayhew attempts to strike-up an intimate relationship with his introverted Irish estate worker Ted, by way of subtle romantic/erotic subtexts in his conversations with him (Whitehouse and Higson, all series). This was also the title of a one-off, hour-long spin-off feature, reprising the characters, with cameos from a few other characters as well. (Higson and Whitehouse: all TV and online series)
• "You ain't seen me: right?" - An unknown traveller who is probably a criminal who says "You ain't seen me: right?" to some minor characters in the show and sometimes the viewer of the show. He comes up in the show in various locations and is at one point on Chanel 9 Neus sitting in the sports reporter's seat. He is also seen in the background when the "Brilliant" Kid walks past talking about the usual things.(Williams, all series)
• Inept Zookeeper - a zookeeper who is frightened and/or disgusted by virtually every aspect of his job (cleaning up elephant dung, feeding the penguins, etc.) and is thus rendered unable to perform his tasks properly. (Williams, series 3)

In popular culture[link]

• Arabella Weir later turned Insecure Woman into Jackie Payne, heroine of her novel Does My Bum Look Big in This?
• In Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Jack Sparrow quotes the show; Johnny Depp is a fan and had a cameo role in the farewell special .
• In 2010, chef Jamie Oliver advertised his forthcoming cookery series (examining the cuisine of several European/Mediterranean countries) speaking in the made-up language used by Chanel 9 news.

Filming locations[link]

Unusually for a sketch show, a significant proportion of The Fast Show was shot externally. During the early series much of this filming was done around the Tees Valley, Yorkshire Dales and Newcastle upon Tyne in the North East of England. Locations include:

• Ashington, Northumberland – at least two scenes involving Unlucky Alf and one involving Brilliant Kid were filmed on Station Road.
• Aske Hall – Background in early Ted & Ralph scenes
• Darlington – 'The Running Family' were shown around various locations in the town centre, including The Cornmill Centre. Darlington was the childhood home of Jim Moir (Vic Reeves) whose longterm comedy partner Bob Mortimer was one of the writers. The Cornmill and The High Street with scenes involving Brilliant Kid.
• Durham – The market place with scenes involving Brilliant Kid
• Hartlepool – One Unlucky Alf scene saw him sat in the empty Rink End Stand of Hartlepool United's ground, Victoria Park. Also, one Ed Winchester scene is in front of the Mill House Stand. Some of the Brilliant Kid scenes were also fimed at nearby Seal Sands.
• Keld, North Yorkshire – The campsite used in a Dave Angel scene
• Langley Park – Railway Street is used in Unlucky Alf scenes
• Middlesbrough – docks used in 'hard of hearing stuntman' scenes, scene on Transporter Bridge as well as the Riverside Stadium
• Newcastle upon Tyne – including the 'Shore Leave' sketch, the scene where Chris the Crafty Cockney steals the woman's suitcases (shot in Newcastle Central station), and some of the Sir Geoffrey Norman MP sketches, such as the one where he is pulled over by a policeman for speeding and the one where he refuses to pay the taxi driver after getting out of the car (shot outside the main entrance to Newcastle Central station), one Ed Winchester scene is near Monument station. One scene from the Brilliant Kid showed him in Exhibition Park in Newcastle upon Tyne. Many scenes involving Janine Carr, filmed in greyscale, used the backdrop of the concrete flyover and underpasses of the junction of the A167(M) and the B1318 of the Great North Road in Jesmond. A few scenes were filmed inside the Newcastle City Library (which has now been demolished and a new Library building has replaced it).
• Richmond – The market place in Ted & Ralph's trip to the shops
• Scotch Corner – Garage used in Swiss Toni's early scenes
• Seaton Carew - One "You ain't seen me right?" scene sees the main character sat on a child's ride in one of the seafront amusement arcades.
• The Spanish City, Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear – a number of scenes involving Brilliant Kid
• Stockton On Tees, Swiss Toni scenes, filmed at a car showroom on Norton Road.

Also for the third series the production extended abroad:

• Iceland – Scenes with Brilliant Kid and Billy Bleach were shot with volcanic landscapes, waterfalls and hot springs in the background.

Down the Line[link]

In 2006, Higson and Whitehouse produced and starred in Down the Line, a spoof phone-in show for BBC Radio 4. The show also featured many of the regular Fast Show cast, including Simon Day, Arabella Weir, Rhys Thomas and Felix Dexter. Further series were broadcast in 2007, 2008 and 2011. A follow-on TV series, Bellamy's People, was broadcast in 2010.

The future[link]

Speaking on the BBC Two show Something for the Weekend on 9 September 2007, Higson mentioned the upcoming DVD boxed set release and that a reunion of some sort to help promote it was being considered. This took place at The Dominion Theatre in London on Sunday 4 November, and was a collection of some new sketches, videos of cast favourites and performances of classic sketches (including the return of Ed Winchester). Higson and Whitehouse stated they were working on a film script which would feature the Fast Show team, but wouldn't have any of the characters from the show. A new online only series was commissioned in a sponsorship deal with Foster's Lager, and aired beginning 14 November 2011; the trailer was released on 9 November on Foster's YouTube Channel^[6][7] New episodes featured the original cast with the exception of Mark Williams, who declined involvement in the project.^[8]

DVDs[link]

This section may require copy-editing.

Numerous Fast Show DVDs are available including :

• The Fast Show : Series 1 (includes cast interviews with Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Arabella Weir and Mark Williams)
• The Fast Show : Series 2
• The Fast Show : Series 3 and 1996 Christmas Special
• The Fast Show : The Last Fast Show Ever, Part One
• The Fast Show Live
• The Fast Show Farewell Tour
• A 7 DVD box set, The Ultimate Fast Show Collection, was released in the UK on 5 November 2007, which compiled nearly all their material, except the two live DVD releases and their spin-off series/specials.

Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to: The Fast Show

[edit] You Ain't Seen These, Right!

You Ain't Seen These, Right! was a one-off programme, shown during BBC Two's Fast Show Night, featuring various sketches which were filmed but did not make it onto the final show. Some of these were:

• An ensemble series of sketches made by the whole male team, as members of a golf club, in which Charlie Higson's character was dating a beautiful young woman. The rest of the team are initially dismissive of him as a sad old man, but cannot help gawking over her.
• A chain-smoking car driver played by Mark Williams who rants about anything and everything through his wound-down window. A study of road rage. "Shoe shop?! Shoe Shop?!". He drives around in Harlesden, London.
• A medieval king played by Simon Day, who 'loves being king' because he gets to boss everyone about.
• A middle aged man, played by John Thomson, who always finds an excuse to leave the room as soon as the conversation gets round to "women's things."
• A Paul Whitehouse character who responds to almost every question, accusation and situation with the phrase "Sorry, but I was up all night, shagging."

These sketches are included in the UK edition of the boxed VHS videotape set of Series 3, and also on the 7 disc Ultimate Fast Show DVD box set.

References[link]

1. ^ ^{a b c} Dewhurst, Keith (2007), "The Fast Show - A Personal View" (notes for The Ultimate Fast Show Collection DVD set, BBC)
2. ^ https://twitter.com/#!/monstroso/status/110748812594790400
3. ^ http://fosters.co.uk/tagged/The_Fast_Show
4. ^ liner notes to The Ultimate Fast Show Collection, (BBC, 2007)
5. ^ http://www.wsc.co.uk/content/view/4024/29/}}
6. ^ http://www.youtube.com/fosters
7. ^ http://offlicencenews.co.uk/news/fullstory.php/aid/12379/Fast_Show_returns_in_Foster_s_deal.html
8. ^ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8744496/The-Fast-Show-returns.html

External links[link]

• The Fast Show at BBC Programmes
• The Fast Show at the Internet Movie Database