Things continue to happen, don't they?
Check out a new one by me at Crikey, where I have been standing up for the traditions that make this country great.
And guess what? You can still donate to Movember! You could donate there, or anywhere really. Donate to whatever facial hair you choose, it all goes to the right place.
Also, wheels are turning in regard to my show in next year's Comedy Festival.
STAY TUNED!
Showing posts with label monarchy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label monarchy. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Just Asking
OK, so you know those people who are all like, "Wow, Prince William is nice, isn't he? We can't have a republic, we love Prince William too much, cos he's GREAT!"?
And you know those other people, who are sometimes the same people, who are all like, "Hey, we can't have a republic, because our system of government works so well and if we didn't have a hereditary foreign monarch performing a purely ceremonial role on the other side of the world, it would all collapse because look at like Cuba and the Congo and stuff, they're republics and they're awful so if we didn't have the Queen we'd be like that!"?
You know all those people?
I just had a question about them:
Are they, like, retarded?
I mean, have they suffered massive head trauma at some point? Did their mothers drink a lot during pregnancy? Is it a genetic thing? Were they dropped as babies? Did they fall in a pool and lose consciousness for five minutes?
Are these people walking around wearing helments and knee pads? Do they go to special schools and work in sheltered workshops? Are they on government pensions due to their inability to make a living in normal society?
If you see these people in public, are they always walking into shopfront windows, thinking there's nothing there? Do they stare into mirrors for hours on end, trying to make friends with the nice person inside? Do they burst into tears on trains because they can't figure out how to open a broadsheet newspaper?
Do they squint in confusion at the Quick Crossword? Do they complain about the menus at McDonald's being too confusing? Do they quote the Herald Sun letters page at dinner parties?
Do they sit backwards on horses? Do they get stuck in revolving doors? Do they take half an hour to buy a train ticket from a machine? Do they get migraines from trying to follow the plot of Adam Sandler movies?
Do they watch Adam Sandler movies?
Are they, like, absolute irretrievable fucking morons?
Is there any other conclusion to come to?
And you know those other people, who are sometimes the same people, who are all like, "Hey, we can't have a republic, because our system of government works so well and if we didn't have a hereditary foreign monarch performing a purely ceremonial role on the other side of the world, it would all collapse because look at like Cuba and the Congo and stuff, they're republics and they're awful so if we didn't have the Queen we'd be like that!"?
You know all those people?
I just had a question about them:
Are they, like, retarded?
I mean, have they suffered massive head trauma at some point? Did their mothers drink a lot during pregnancy? Is it a genetic thing? Were they dropped as babies? Did they fall in a pool and lose consciousness for five minutes?
Are these people walking around wearing helments and knee pads? Do they go to special schools and work in sheltered workshops? Are they on government pensions due to their inability to make a living in normal society?
If you see these people in public, are they always walking into shopfront windows, thinking there's nothing there? Do they stare into mirrors for hours on end, trying to make friends with the nice person inside? Do they burst into tears on trains because they can't figure out how to open a broadsheet newspaper?
Do they squint in confusion at the Quick Crossword? Do they complain about the menus at McDonald's being too confusing? Do they quote the Herald Sun letters page at dinner parties?
Do they sit backwards on horses? Do they get stuck in revolving doors? Do they take half an hour to buy a train ticket from a machine? Do they get migraines from trying to follow the plot of Adam Sandler movies?
Do they watch Adam Sandler movies?
Are they, like, absolute irretrievable fucking morons?
Is there any other conclusion to come to?
Saturday, March 28, 2009
The Monarchy: moving with the times
So Robyn Riley - fearless campaigner for truth, justice and the duty of the mainstream media to publish unsubstantiated nude photos of prominent public figures performing legal and consensual acts in a private place thirty years ago in order that the public know the sort of person that the person they are voting for looks a bit like - this week tackles the monarchy.
Apparently there is a bill under consideration in Britain that would remove the gender bias from royal succession rights.
And as Robyn says, "about time too. It is ridiculous that gender is still relevant".
Yes, indeed, what a ludicrous way of organising one's monarchy. Maybe now, finally, we can bring our undemocratic medieval system of hereditary privilege into the 21st century. It seems absurd that in this day of age, the selection of our head of state should be dependent on their sex. It's about time we took that giant leap forward and selected them based purely and simply on who gets born first to the descendant of whatever family managed to wrest power from another several centuries ago.
After all, it would be terrible if the monarchy were to seem in any way outdated. It must move with the times, lest it be seen as obsolete and pointless and wasteful and generally stupid.
Hate for that to happen.
Apparently there is a bill under consideration in Britain that would remove the gender bias from royal succession rights.
And as Robyn says, "about time too. It is ridiculous that gender is still relevant".
Yes, indeed, what a ludicrous way of organising one's monarchy. Maybe now, finally, we can bring our undemocratic medieval system of hereditary privilege into the 21st century. It seems absurd that in this day of age, the selection of our head of state should be dependent on their sex. It's about time we took that giant leap forward and selected them based purely and simply on who gets born first to the descendant of whatever family managed to wrest power from another several centuries ago.
After all, it would be terrible if the monarchy were to seem in any way outdated. It must move with the times, lest it be seen as obsolete and pointless and wasteful and generally stupid.
Hate for that to happen.
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