Plugs

A quick plug for an article I wrote for Crikey on the whales who threaten our way of life.

And a BIGGER plug for my brand spanking new show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival!

Yes! After years of saying "I will do it", I am ACTUALLY doing it!

Ben Pobjie's Funeral will run from 6 April-17 April, except for Monday and Tuesday, at 8.30pm, and will take place in the lush surrounds of Blue Velvet Bar and Nightclub, at 60 Smith St, Collingwood, a lovely spot indeed.

Tickets are $20, $15 concession, but for the the first two nights, a SPECIAL PREVIEW PRICE of $10 applies!

What is Ben Pobjie's Funeral all about? It's about one man's quest to make sense of life and death, and get people to say nice things about him while he's still around to appreciate it. It will deal with such urgent issues as:

- The meaning of life
- The meaning of death
- Zombies
- Cyclists
- The life cycle of the Port Jackson shark
- Wacky posters
- Jesus
- And many more

THERE WILL BE POETRY

Get tickets HERE!

Stay Tuned

Things continue to happen, don't they?

Check out a new one by me at Crikey, where I have been standing up for the traditions that make this country great.

And guess what? You can still donate to Movember! You could donate there, or anywhere really. Donate to whatever facial hair you choose, it all goes to the right place.

Also, wheels are turning in regard to my show in next year's Comedy Festival.

STAY TUNED!

Damn

So you have probably heard by now that New Matilda has been terminated. As of June 25, it will be no more.

This, quite naturally, makes me very sad. Of coruse it's not nearly as great a blow to me personally as it is to the newmatilda.com team, who've worked like trojans on the site and now find themselves out of work. But it's still terribly disappointing for me, because it's a site I've been writing for since 2007, the first place to publish my work, and I think the home of the best humour writing I've done.

As I am quoted saying in Crikey (and also, for some reason, at Tim Blair's blog, where I was shocked and wounded to discover that Blair fans don't know who I am), nobody would know my name if it weren't for New Matilda. If you're reading this blog, it's probably because of New Matilda. Were it not for their willingness to give a slab of space to a nonsense-spouting non-entity, there's a good chance my writing would still be exactly nowhere. Of course I'm still pretty obscure, but without NM I wouldn't be that.

And so it's a depressing time for me. There's loads of stuff being written now about the implications for independent and online media, and it may well say something about the future of the media. New Matilda just couldn't make any money out of its model, because online advertising is simply not a big moneyspinner, even if a lot of people are reading. Maybe the Crikey subscription model is the only one with a chance of working; but if that's the case, will any new outlet have to ape Crikey to get anywhere?

In any event, there's no doubt that this is the passing of a little piece of alternative, thoughtful, analytical Australian media, and I do think it's a great shame. NM was something different; it gave voice to little-heard views and unknown writers (like me) and it was a noble counterpoint to mainstream media commentary.

(Some are holding out hope New Matilda can be saved; I doubt it can in its present form, but I do hope that maybe the name and the ethos can be continued somehow.)

But it's soon to be gone, and I suppose we will all move on. Thank you to all those who read my and others' work on newmatilda.com; I hope you'll keep supporting independent media, and see the NM battalions fighting on new battlefields in future. No doubt there'll be more to say before June 25; and I do hope you'll keep reading up until then.

As for me, watch this space.

Regrets

What is my number one regret? The lies I've told, the friends I've hurt, the manslaughter of the childhood friend I covered up?

NO

My number one regret is that I have been neglecting my faithful blog readers. Both of you. Ha ha ha self-deprecation!

Anyway, I was away for a little bit decompressing from a rather frantic personal and professional period, visiting family and lying down etc. I'm back now, blogging for your delectation.

What's been happening since the last update?

Well, there have been more writings, obviously. Check them out:

At newmatilda.com:

Thoughts on rugby league and great 20th-century statesmen

Thoughts on the Victorian government's affaire grande with the religious right

My thoughts on silly immigrants and why the athletic ones are better

At Crikey:

My first stab at investigate journalism; I managed to smuggle out the minutes from Hey Hey It's Saturday's production meeting prior to their second reunion special.

Please note: not only did John Blackman comment on that last one, he almost knows my name! I am pretty special I think you will agree.

So in other news...a new project! Gather Around Me, with Australia's hippest young pop culture vivisectionists Ben Pobjie and Cam Smith bringing you their thoughts through the magic of Montenegran internet.

GAM will feature random musings by Cam and myself throughout your long, otherwise-stultifying days, but the main meat of the site is in our regular podcasts. There are two up so far, check 'em out. You can also subscribe through iTunes.

Also, following my gig way back at the Emerging Writers' Festival, I have a piece in the EWF Reader, a collection of writers writing about writing. To quote the EWF:

"The Reader is a new collection that combines highlights of the 2009 festival with general writing information and new creative works across various writing forms.


The Reader is about the craft, the approaches, the techniques and processes; the discipline(s), the forms, the experiments; the inner life, the social life, the lifestyle; the ups and downs, the tricks and the tribulations, the fun and the failure…

The Reader is Artworks, Illustrations, Flash Fiction, Fragments, Interviews, Short Stories, Sketches, Songs, Sonnets, Haiku, Poetry, Plays, Photos, Comics, Couplets, Verse, Recipes, Rants, and Memoirs.



The Reader is Steven Amsterdam on writers’ workshops, Clem Bastow on freelancing, Jen Breach on writing comics, Mel Campbell on pitching to editors, Kathy Charles on shameless self-promotion, Stephanie Convery on writing Black Saturday, Olivia Davis on fear and writing practices, Lisa Dempster on how much writers earn, Koraly Dimitriadis talks to Christos Tsoilkas, Caroline Hamilton compares writers’ festivals and music festivals, Stu Hatton on his mentorship with Dorothy Porter, Jane Hawtin discusses publishing academic research for a general audience, Andrew Hutchinson recalls the Emerging Writers’ Festival, Tiggy Johnson on parenthood and writing, Krissy Kneen on not writing about sex, Benjamin Law on failure, Angela Meyer reviews books for writers, Jennifer Mills on the politics of publishing and engaging with readers, Anthony Noack on good grammar, John Pace on re-drafting your screenplay, Ryan Paine on the role of the critic, Ben Pobjie on writing comedy, Robert Reid on the role of the contemporary playwright, Aden Rolfe on the emergentsia, Jenny Sinclair on the landscape of her book research, Chris Summers talks to Lally Katz about theatre writing, Mia Timpano on how to cultivate the ultimate author profile photo, Estelle Tang on Christopher Currie and blogging fiction, Simmone Michelle-Wells pens a letter to her younger self, Cameron White reviews alternatives to Microsoft Word.

And new creative works by Maxine Clark, Chris Currie, Chris Downes, Claire Henderson, Kirk Marshall, Scott-Patrick Mitchell, Alice Mrongovius, Meg Mundell, Warwick Sprawson and Cameron T"

Nota Bene: "Ben Pobjie on writing comedy". Yes! After reading the Reader, you will know how to be funny, like me! I'm not even joking, y'all! In bookstores now!

More soon, you sexy readers.

OK

So climate change denialists aren't the only stunningly stupid people out there. There are also those who read humour columns. I mean, not all of them, but some.

Check out my latest, here. It's not the worst example of the "I don't get it, and I shall now prove it beyond doubt" genre, but there are a couple of prize pigs in there.

"mocking of women taking non-traditional roles". Sigh. Yes, yes, of course.

Simple Radio Folk

What did you think of Kyle and Jackie O's whimsical teen-sex prank? Pretty funny? Not very funny? Gripping? Moving? Full of vibrant hooks and witty lyrics?

If you go here, you will find an article by me that adds absolutely nothing to the debate.

Just in case you might be thinking it's not worthwhile clicking on that link, let me show you some of the reader comments that will illustrate just how great the article is.

From "David1": Ben stick to being an idiot, satirical composition is not your forte.

From "Juzzy": Lame

From "Simon": there’s satire… then there’s trollish shit stirring

From "Yvonne Lynton Reid": nauseatingly self-righteous crap

From "Liz45": Pardon me if I don’t laugh! I don’t find it funny or even smart one bit. Ben, obviously you don’t understand, that even consensual sex would’ve been ILLEGAL! If you’re so desperate for some entertainment, why don’t you go and read or take up knitting or ???

When will some blokes get it through their thick heads - that women are fed up with blokes who think, that you have a right to scrutinize and belittle our lives, sexual or otherwise. If Rachel was an adult it wouldn’t have been funny - she’s still legally a child who had a vicious and revolting assault inflicted upon her. I think you need to take a look at yourself. I’m sure you don’t have too many young women seeking you out to confide in because of your kind and sensitive nature!





Of course, some people didn't care for it. But I know YOU will, right? After all...






WOULD KYLE LIE?

Words hurt, you know

In response to my Crikey piece, "NBC" writes:

"Re: Michael Jackson -- these are the jokes. (Yesterday Item
19) Please tell Ben Pobjie he is not funny. "As a professional writer" he
reminds us - as opposed to a non-professional I guess, he strings together a
limp collection of M.J 'jokes' and tells us how important he is by thinking
anyone is remotely interested in his last will & testament. Never heard of Mr
Pobjie before - and I now understand why. Are all your usual
correspondents on leave? Fair suck of the sauce lads - Crikey is better than
that."

Now, that I am not funny I have no doubt. Jacqueline Reidpath set me straight on that. But in my defence, since the article was about how bad Michael Jackson jokes tend to be, I don't know how strong a criticism it is to say that the Michael Jackson jokes in it weren't any good.

However, I take the point that nobody is interested in my last will and testament. I will in future refrain from including such serious legal documents in online humour pieces.

BUT! I am glad at least that "NBC" now knows why he has never heard of me - it must have been annoying for him to have gone all these years not having heard of me and wondering why. Must have gnawed at him something chronic.

The most intriguing thing about all this, though, is the confluence of three notable facts:

1. Crikey misspelled my name as "Pobje" on the article.

2. "NBC" claims to have never heard of me.

3. Yet "NBC" somehow knows the correct spelling of my name, and does not use the Crikey spelling.

This plot is as thick as ostrich gumbo, my friends.

Fess up, "NBC" - who are you REALLY?

Expression of Astonishment!

For today's dose of (misspelled) Pobjie, why not check out the esteemed Crikey?