Climate change is a serious issue, and it needs serious people to solve it. Is Bob Rumsden interested in solving it? No, Bob Rumsden is interested in only two things: making you afraid of it, and hot-air ballooning. Well I say the Australian people deserve more in a prime minister than a fictional American in a balloon. Australian people deserve a PRO-ACTIVE prime minister who will FIX climate change through the magic of community togetherness.
In my latest video I demonstrate, thus:
Showing posts with label Gather Around Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gather Around Me. Show all posts
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Guerrilla Halal!
Some bigots refuse to eat meat that has been turned towards Mecca and blessed. Ben Pobjie has some bad news for them: you never know where or when the Halal Guerillas will strike.
Check out all our other stuff at http://www.gatheraround.me
Check out all our other stuff at http://www.gatheraround.me
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Have you ever wondered...
...what breastfeeding is all about?
WONDER NO MORE, as Gather Around Me expands its empire into the world of VIDEO!
WONDER NO MORE, as Gather Around Me expands its empire into the world of VIDEO!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Choose Your Own Adventure!
The story so far: you are an aspiring teen kickball player whose brother is not home by six. Armed with this information, you choose not to call Harold and instead accompany local halfwit "Lauren" to the docks, where adventure awaits...if you CHOOSE it to!
What happens next? It's up to you! Listen to the latest Gather Around Me Choose Your Own Adventure: The Terrorist Trap instalment, and decide what to do!
What happens next? It's up to you! Listen to the latest Gather Around Me Choose Your Own Adventure: The Terrorist Trap instalment, and decide what to do!
Friday, April 20, 2012
A day in the life of a Podcasting Star
A lot of you are probably thinking, hey, I certainly love listening to the Gather Around Me podcast starring Ben Pobjie and Cam Smith, which I subscribe to on iTunes and totally listen to all the time, and I especially love the latest episode wherein Ben and Cam read a Choose Your Own Adventure book and invite ME to select where the story will take them next - but there are times when I wish I could know more about the process behind the GAM podcast and its wild popularity.
WISH. NO. MORE. Because here is:
MY DAY AS A PODCASTER BY BEN
6.05am: Arrive at the GAM offices, where I am greeted by Esther, our hard-working secretary. She gives me my daily iron pills and flirts outrageously with me, and we have a good laugh.
6.08am: Enter the GAM Control Centre, where Cam screams at me for being late.
6.09am: Cam, sobbing, begs for my forgiveness for being angry, and then takes a short nap.
6.10-6.30am: Catch up on GAM email. Delete spam and offers of marriage from men, move offers of marriage from women into special folder. Agree to every offer of corporate sponsor. Reply to sexy emails from Packed to the Rafters cast members with equally sexy emails.
6.45am: Cam wakes up. I subdue him with a soothing voice and pleas to drop the knife.
7-10am: Planning session for new podcast. We storyboard each episode meticulously on butcher's paper, then transfer the storyboard to our 3D clay puppet board. We then make a crude animation of the podcast, edit and score it, and play it back to see if we think it will fly as a quality Gather Around Me instalment. We do this several times until we have what we call "GOLD". We then record a rough guide vocal using this script, so our orchestra can follow it.
10-11am: Orchestra session. All the music is written by Cam, but in a strange code that only he knows, so he has to hum it to the orchestra and they play it back. Normally a recording session will be done in the nude, and Cam usually assaults at least six musicians before it's over.
11-11.30am: Meeting with lawyers to discuss Cam's defence for assault trial.
11.36am: Cam begs me to let him cut my hair. I refuse, but he goes ahead anyway.
11.45am: Cam starts sobbing again.
12pm: Lunch, eaten on opposite sides of a picnic table in a nearby park, neither of us willing to take our eyes off the other. Between bites of his salami toastie, Cam threatens to kill me several times.
12.45-3pm: Sex.
3-4pm: Recording of the podcast. Cam does the whole thing in a thick Russian accent, and insists on having his "manager", a 17-year-old boxer named Michelle, sitting beside him the whole time. Today's podcast is examining the issue of aged-care funding, but three minutes in we get sidetracked by wondering which sea animal it would be preferable to be raped by, and we never really get back on-topic. By the end of the hour Cam is incredibly drunk and claims he is my biological mother. he then beats me savagely.
4.15pm: Over-dubbing and adding of wacky sound effects.
4.30pm: Daily prayers. At GAM we have a new religion each week to keep things fresh. This week's is Shinto.
4.45-5pm: Sex.
5.15pm: Breakfast.
6pm: Cam asks for my hand in marriage, but immediately rescinds the offer, displaying crossed fingers. He then beats me savagely.
6.30pm: Esther screams with exasperation and hurls herself through a plate-glass window. Later on she confesses it was because "YouTube was being slow".
6.45pm: Wash dishes and genitals.
7pm: Kiss Cam goodnight and shampoo his beard.
7.30pm: Hit the streets, out for a good time.
8pm: Become caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse with international arms traders.
8.15pm: Dessert and bed.
That's SHOWBUSINESS folks!
WISH. NO. MORE. Because here is:
MY DAY AS A PODCASTER BY BEN
6.05am: Arrive at the GAM offices, where I am greeted by Esther, our hard-working secretary. She gives me my daily iron pills and flirts outrageously with me, and we have a good laugh.
6.08am: Enter the GAM Control Centre, where Cam screams at me for being late.
6.09am: Cam, sobbing, begs for my forgiveness for being angry, and then takes a short nap.
6.10-6.30am: Catch up on GAM email. Delete spam and offers of marriage from men, move offers of marriage from women into special folder. Agree to every offer of corporate sponsor. Reply to sexy emails from Packed to the Rafters cast members with equally sexy emails.
6.45am: Cam wakes up. I subdue him with a soothing voice and pleas to drop the knife.
7-10am: Planning session for new podcast. We storyboard each episode meticulously on butcher's paper, then transfer the storyboard to our 3D clay puppet board. We then make a crude animation of the podcast, edit and score it, and play it back to see if we think it will fly as a quality Gather Around Me instalment. We do this several times until we have what we call "GOLD". We then record a rough guide vocal using this script, so our orchestra can follow it.
10-11am: Orchestra session. All the music is written by Cam, but in a strange code that only he knows, so he has to hum it to the orchestra and they play it back. Normally a recording session will be done in the nude, and Cam usually assaults at least six musicians before it's over.
11-11.30am: Meeting with lawyers to discuss Cam's defence for assault trial.
11.36am: Cam begs me to let him cut my hair. I refuse, but he goes ahead anyway.
11.45am: Cam starts sobbing again.
12pm: Lunch, eaten on opposite sides of a picnic table in a nearby park, neither of us willing to take our eyes off the other. Between bites of his salami toastie, Cam threatens to kill me several times.
12.45-3pm: Sex.
3-4pm: Recording of the podcast. Cam does the whole thing in a thick Russian accent, and insists on having his "manager", a 17-year-old boxer named Michelle, sitting beside him the whole time. Today's podcast is examining the issue of aged-care funding, but three minutes in we get sidetracked by wondering which sea animal it would be preferable to be raped by, and we never really get back on-topic. By the end of the hour Cam is incredibly drunk and claims he is my biological mother. he then beats me savagely.
4.15pm: Over-dubbing and adding of wacky sound effects.
4.30pm: Daily prayers. At GAM we have a new religion each week to keep things fresh. This week's is Shinto.
4.45-5pm: Sex.
5.15pm: Breakfast.
6pm: Cam asks for my hand in marriage, but immediately rescinds the offer, displaying crossed fingers. He then beats me savagely.
6.30pm: Esther screams with exasperation and hurls herself through a plate-glass window. Later on she confesses it was because "YouTube was being slow".
6.45pm: Wash dishes and genitals.
7pm: Kiss Cam goodnight and shampoo his beard.
7.30pm: Hit the streets, out for a good time.
8pm: Become caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse with international arms traders.
8.15pm: Dessert and bed.
That's SHOWBUSINESS folks!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Let's Catch Up
My first EVER show in the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, Ben Pobjie's Funeral, has now been running for two nights, and it has been, as they say, a blast. A good time has, hopefully, been had by all, and I hope I will continue to see many of you there at Blue Velvet. It will be lovely. There are eight more nights to go, so that's...I mean you've got quite a few opportunities really. I mean, do you have any excuse? I think not!
If you come to the show you will learn about life, death, cyclists etc. It's the show no parent should miss and also other people.
In other delightful comedy news, I want to direct you to the latest edition of the Gather Around Me. In this episode, Cam and I were granted an audience with the great, the wonderful, the hilarious Paul F. Tompkins, currently out here from the US for the aforementioned festival. Being able to podcast with PFT was probably the highlight of my comedic life so far. He is a lovely man and it is an awesome podcast and you should listen to it NOW. It will whet your appetite for my show which you're about to go to or something.
To whet your appetite for the podcast which will whet your appetite for the show, try this.
If you come to the show you will learn about life, death, cyclists etc. It's the show no parent should miss and also other people.
In other delightful comedy news, I want to direct you to the latest edition of the Gather Around Me. In this episode, Cam and I were granted an audience with the great, the wonderful, the hilarious Paul F. Tompkins, currently out here from the US for the aforementioned festival. Being able to podcast with PFT was probably the highlight of my comedic life so far. He is a lovely man and it is an awesome podcast and you should listen to it NOW. It will whet your appetite for my show which you're about to go to or something.
To whet your appetite for the podcast which will whet your appetite for the show, try this.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Welcome back!
To same old place that you laughed about...
Did you have a good Christmas? A festive new year? Or was it a dark period in your life that you hope never to have to re-live?
Anyway, the new year is here, and full of exciting possibilities. Personally, I've been busy as hell, and in 2011 I've got lots of goodies to share.
Firstly, why not listen to the RETURN OF GATHER AROUND ME, Cam Smith and myself back to let you all know about the problems of teens who are also hospital administrators and/or staff. And some other things. Your ears will be amazed.
Also, look out for my upcoming contribution in the February issue of Kings Tribune magazine, my debut for this particular organ.
And of course, New Matilda is back next month to inform and delight you all! Make sure you check out the many fine writers contributing to debate there.
But besides these immediate concerns, let's look into the mists of the future. You may all commence slavering with anticipation, as March sees the publication of my first proper, real, honest-to-goodness papery BOOK!
Surveying the Wreckage, published by aduki Press.
Start ticking off the days now. I'm excited. Are you excited?
Welcome back, my friends, to the blog that never ends.
Did you have a good Christmas? A festive new year? Or was it a dark period in your life that you hope never to have to re-live?
Anyway, the new year is here, and full of exciting possibilities. Personally, I've been busy as hell, and in 2011 I've got lots of goodies to share.
Firstly, why not listen to the RETURN OF GATHER AROUND ME, Cam Smith and myself back to let you all know about the problems of teens who are also hospital administrators and/or staff. And some other things. Your ears will be amazed.
Also, look out for my upcoming contribution in the February issue of Kings Tribune magazine, my debut for this particular organ.
And of course, New Matilda is back next month to inform and delight you all! Make sure you check out the many fine writers contributing to debate there.
But besides these immediate concerns, let's look into the mists of the future. You may all commence slavering with anticipation, as March sees the publication of my first proper, real, honest-to-goodness papery BOOK!
Surveying the Wreckage, published by aduki Press.
Start ticking off the days now. I'm excited. Are you excited?
Welcome back, my friends, to the blog that never ends.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Coming...now
Christopher Monckton is a funny man, with a brain that works, but not in the way it's supposed to.
Here is what I have written about him.
The article also features Tony Abbott, Kevin Rudd, and ice cream.
Also, go to Gather Around Me to get the latest podcast from me and Cam Smith, in which war veterans and Indian thieves are discussed in a mature and responsible way.
Here is what I have written about him.
The article also features Tony Abbott, Kevin Rudd, and ice cream.
Also, go to Gather Around Me to get the latest podcast from me and Cam Smith, in which war veterans and Indian thieves are discussed in a mature and responsible way.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Regrets
What is my number one regret? The lies I've told, the friends I've hurt, the manslaughter of the childhood friend I covered up?
NO
My number one regret is that I have been neglecting my faithful blog readers. Both of you. Ha ha ha self-deprecation!
Anyway, I was away for a little bit decompressing from a rather frantic personal and professional period, visiting family and lying down etc. I'm back now, blogging for your delectation.
What's been happening since the last update?
Well, there have been more writings, obviously. Check them out:
At newmatilda.com:
Thoughts on rugby league and great 20th-century statesmen
Thoughts on the Victorian government's affaire grande with the religious right
My thoughts on silly immigrants and why the athletic ones are better
At Crikey:
My first stab at investigate journalism; I managed to smuggle out the minutes from Hey Hey It's Saturday's production meeting prior to their second reunion special.
Please note: not only did John Blackman comment on that last one, he almost knows my name! I am pretty special I think you will agree.
So in other news...a new project! Gather Around Me, with Australia's hippest young pop culture vivisectionists Ben Pobjie and Cam Smith bringing you their thoughts through the magic of Montenegran internet.
GAM will feature random musings by Cam and myself throughout your long, otherwise-stultifying days, but the main meat of the site is in our regular podcasts. There are two up so far, check 'em out. You can also subscribe through iTunes.
Also, following my gig way back at the Emerging Writers' Festival, I have a piece in the EWF Reader, a collection of writers writing about writing. To quote the EWF:
"The Reader is a new collection that combines highlights of the 2009 festival with general writing information and new creative works across various writing forms.
The Reader is about the craft, the approaches, the techniques and processes; the discipline(s), the forms, the experiments; the inner life, the social life, the lifestyle; the ups and downs, the tricks and the tribulations, the fun and the failure…
The Reader is Artworks, Illustrations, Flash Fiction, Fragments, Interviews, Short Stories, Sketches, Songs, Sonnets, Haiku, Poetry, Plays, Photos, Comics, Couplets, Verse, Recipes, Rants, and Memoirs.
The Reader is Steven Amsterdam on writers’ workshops, Clem Bastow on freelancing, Jen Breach on writing comics, Mel Campbell on pitching to editors, Kathy Charles on shameless self-promotion, Stephanie Convery on writing Black Saturday, Olivia Davis on fear and writing practices, Lisa Dempster on how much writers earn, Koraly Dimitriadis talks to Christos Tsoilkas, Caroline Hamilton compares writers’ festivals and music festivals, Stu Hatton on his mentorship with Dorothy Porter, Jane Hawtin discusses publishing academic research for a general audience, Andrew Hutchinson recalls the Emerging Writers’ Festival, Tiggy Johnson on parenthood and writing, Krissy Kneen on not writing about sex, Benjamin Law on failure, Angela Meyer reviews books for writers, Jennifer Mills on the politics of publishing and engaging with readers, Anthony Noack on good grammar, John Pace on re-drafting your screenplay, Ryan Paine on the role of the critic, Ben Pobjie on writing comedy, Robert Reid on the role of the contemporary playwright, Aden Rolfe on the emergentsia, Jenny Sinclair on the landscape of her book research, Chris Summers talks to Lally Katz about theatre writing, Mia Timpano on how to cultivate the ultimate author profile photo, Estelle Tang on Christopher Currie and blogging fiction, Simmone Michelle-Wells pens a letter to her younger self, Cameron White reviews alternatives to Microsoft Word.
And new creative works by Maxine Clark, Chris Currie, Chris Downes, Claire Henderson, Kirk Marshall, Scott-Patrick Mitchell, Alice Mrongovius, Meg Mundell, Warwick Sprawson and Cameron T"
Nota Bene: "Ben Pobjie on writing comedy". Yes! After reading the Reader, you will know how to be funny, like me! I'm not even joking, y'all! In bookstores now!
More soon, you sexy readers.
NO
My number one regret is that I have been neglecting my faithful blog readers. Both of you. Ha ha ha self-deprecation!
Anyway, I was away for a little bit decompressing from a rather frantic personal and professional period, visiting family and lying down etc. I'm back now, blogging for your delectation.
What's been happening since the last update?
Well, there have been more writings, obviously. Check them out:
At newmatilda.com:
Thoughts on rugby league and great 20th-century statesmen
Thoughts on the Victorian government's affaire grande with the religious right
My thoughts on silly immigrants and why the athletic ones are better
At Crikey:
My first stab at investigate journalism; I managed to smuggle out the minutes from Hey Hey It's Saturday's production meeting prior to their second reunion special.
Please note: not only did John Blackman comment on that last one, he almost knows my name! I am pretty special I think you will agree.
So in other news...a new project! Gather Around Me, with Australia's hippest young pop culture vivisectionists Ben Pobjie and Cam Smith bringing you their thoughts through the magic of Montenegran internet.
GAM will feature random musings by Cam and myself throughout your long, otherwise-stultifying days, but the main meat of the site is in our regular podcasts. There are two up so far, check 'em out. You can also subscribe through iTunes.
Also, following my gig way back at the Emerging Writers' Festival, I have a piece in the EWF Reader, a collection of writers writing about writing. To quote the EWF:
"The Reader is a new collection that combines highlights of the 2009 festival with general writing information and new creative works across various writing forms.
The Reader is about the craft, the approaches, the techniques and processes; the discipline(s), the forms, the experiments; the inner life, the social life, the lifestyle; the ups and downs, the tricks and the tribulations, the fun and the failure…
The Reader is Artworks, Illustrations, Flash Fiction, Fragments, Interviews, Short Stories, Sketches, Songs, Sonnets, Haiku, Poetry, Plays, Photos, Comics, Couplets, Verse, Recipes, Rants, and Memoirs.
The Reader is Steven Amsterdam on writers’ workshops, Clem Bastow on freelancing, Jen Breach on writing comics, Mel Campbell on pitching to editors, Kathy Charles on shameless self-promotion, Stephanie Convery on writing Black Saturday, Olivia Davis on fear and writing practices, Lisa Dempster on how much writers earn, Koraly Dimitriadis talks to Christos Tsoilkas, Caroline Hamilton compares writers’ festivals and music festivals, Stu Hatton on his mentorship with Dorothy Porter, Jane Hawtin discusses publishing academic research for a general audience, Andrew Hutchinson recalls the Emerging Writers’ Festival, Tiggy Johnson on parenthood and writing, Krissy Kneen on not writing about sex, Benjamin Law on failure, Angela Meyer reviews books for writers, Jennifer Mills on the politics of publishing and engaging with readers, Anthony Noack on good grammar, John Pace on re-drafting your screenplay, Ryan Paine on the role of the critic, Ben Pobjie on writing comedy, Robert Reid on the role of the contemporary playwright, Aden Rolfe on the emergentsia, Jenny Sinclair on the landscape of her book research, Chris Summers talks to Lally Katz about theatre writing, Mia Timpano on how to cultivate the ultimate author profile photo, Estelle Tang on Christopher Currie and blogging fiction, Simmone Michelle-Wells pens a letter to her younger self, Cameron White reviews alternatives to Microsoft Word.
And new creative works by Maxine Clark, Chris Currie, Chris Downes, Claire Henderson, Kirk Marshall, Scott-Patrick Mitchell, Alice Mrongovius, Meg Mundell, Warwick Sprawson and Cameron T"
Nota Bene: "Ben Pobjie on writing comedy". Yes! After reading the Reader, you will know how to be funny, like me! I'm not even joking, y'all! In bookstores now!
More soon, you sexy readers.
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