Kim Kardashian Chimes in on the Sanctity of Marriage

We here at Skeptical Monkey would like to thank Kim Kardashian for reminding us all of something very important.

Kardashian could surely use a bit of praise right now; ever since she announced her impending divorce from Kris Humphries just seventy-two days after their $10 million reality TV wedding, critics have started crying foul. 

“Many people will feel used—from the media to the public. And considering her marriage can be counted more easily in days, it smacks of a stunt,” said crisis management expert, Glenn Selig. “It will, without a doubt, hurt her brand because people will feel like they’ve been played and duped … It seems hard to believe that the marriage was for real given the fact that it ended so quickly.”

Hard to believe, indeed. According to a whopping 83% of respondents to this Perez Hilton poll, the wedding was a fake. And how often to 83% of American pollsters agree on anything?

Skeptical Monkey would like to take this opportunity to say that while we, too, believe this marriage was a stunt, we don’t believe it had much to do with money or publicity (c’mon, since when do the Kardashians care about those things?). Instead, we believe that Kim Kardashian has taken this opportunity to stand up for gay marriage rights. And no tireless gay marriage advocate could have done it better.

With conservatives shouting about the threat posed by homosexuals to the sanctity of marriage, it’s hard to imagine a more perfect comeback than the fly-by-night nuptials of Humphries and Kardashian. Clearly, Kim Kardashian has staged the over-the-top ceremony, complete with quickie divorce, to force us all to ask the now painfully obvious question: if straight people can screw up a marriage so badly, why should gay people not at least have the right to take a crack at it?

Thank you, Kim. You may now join the ranks of Pamela Anderson, Brittany Spears, and all the other celebrities who have brandished short marriages in the fight for gay rights.

We are forever grateful.

0 comments by Sara on Nov 1, ‘11 in Uncategorized

recent & fresh

Ween Some, Lose Some…

Traditionally, some theists are pretty good at spoiling our fun. Unsatisfied with the standard practices of demonizing sex or limiting our ice cream flavors, one Christian group has now set out to suck the fun out of Halloween.

According to the official website:

Every year, the world and its system have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween day. Being a day that is widely acceptable to solicit and knock on doors, God inspired us to encourage Christians to use this day as an opportunity to spread the gospel.

They call this alternative holiday Jesus Ween. And yes, they’re serious, although this sure sounds like something Ned Flanders would dream up.

Christians celebrating this new holiday will spend October 31st handing out Bibles and other Christian gifts in lieu of candy. And there’ll be no one stressing over “what to be” for Jesus Ween this year; participants will simply wear white to symbolize righteousness.

Remember when you were young enough for trick-or-treating? Remember how you felt when some well-meaning adult would hand out something disappointing, like Necco Wafers or a box of raisins?

Now multiply that by ten (at least) and you’ll pretty much capture the feeling of the poor, unsuspecting kids who’ll soon watch miniature bibles tumble down into their trick-or-treating bags.

I can think of a few things that might turn a child off to Christianity faster… but not many.

 

0 comments by Sara on Oct 30, ‘11 in religion

Insignificance

You are 1 person out of 7 billion people… 
On 1 planet out of 8 planets…
 In 1 star system out of 100 billion star systems…
 In 1 galaxy out of 100 billion galaxies…
 And you are enormously insignificant.

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0 comments by The Monkey on Jul 14, ‘11 in religion

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