Bausch and Lomb’s Rear Window
Famous photographer L.B. “Jeff” Jeffries, laid up at home with a broken leg, becomes an inadvertent voyeur when he begins looking out his apartment window and watching the day-to-day activities of his neighbors. With his PureVision contact lenses, it’s a snap! But when he thinks a mysterious man across the way may have murdered his own wife, a few handfuls of Renu Fresh Solution may be the only thing that can save him!
Dockers Presents Fight Club
It’s true, you are not your fucking khakis. But boy, those sure do look nice on you, no matter your personality! Oh no! On your first night of fight club, the night that you had to fight, you got some nasty blood stains on them! Luckily, they come right out in the wash with Stain Defender!
Inception by Hasbro Games
On one last, big job, the one that will get him back to his family after years of exile, thief Dom Cobb goes inside the mind of the heir to a business empire to plant an idea. Cobb assembles a team of old friends and new faces to pull off the Operation, but will they have what it takes to avoid touching the side wall and getting a shock?
Beef ‘N’ Cheddar (remake of Ratatouille)
The incredible story of how a young chef learns the ins and outs of making delicious Arby’s sandwiches, Jamochas and other items by befriending a talented rat who takes up residence in an otherwise perfectly clean and safe restaurant location. The story climaxes when a stuck-up restaurant critic reluctantly comes into Arby’s, remembers his childhood days eating Beef ‘N Cheddars and finally loosens up. (NOTE: The rats may need to be changed into sentient hunks of cheese or cows to keep the clever title pun in place.)
Citizen (Watch) Kane
On his death bed, publishing tycoon Charles Foster Kane utters a mysterious last word: “Rosebud.” Turns out that was the nickname for his Citizen Eco-Drive watch, the one he wore and kept ever since his days as an impoverished child. It worked until the day he died, and he was very happy. Truly, the Citizen Eco-Drive is unstoppable!
Pfizer Movie Time: Apocalypse Now
A shot-for-shot remake of Coppola’s original film, but now everyone has an erection.
Taxi Driver + VitaminWater
Travis Bickle is back! And he’s as quotable as ever:
“Thank God for the water, the water full of electrolytes and vitamin C and with the subtle, yet delicious taste of fruit punch, to wash the trash off the sidewalk.”
“All the animals come out at night – whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real water will come and hydrate all this scum and give them all their B vitamins and calcium at only 50 calories a serving.”
“You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Well, I’m sure glad you are! Try the delicious, refreshing taste of VitaminWater’s new Stur-D flavor!”