2:36
Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself
Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself
Seeking to dispel accusations of flip-flopping, Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
1:04
Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them
Reporter Helps Starving Dogs By Personally Shooting Them
After an earthquake renders hundreds of dogs homeless, reporter O'Brady Shaw pledges to put down every last animal himself. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:01
Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"
Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"
Cross Examination host Shelby Cross shows women how to physically defeat their self-defense instructors. (Aired 10/18/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:42
Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
Jim Haggerty helps to raise awareness about kidney stones by undergoing an operation in front of cameras. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
1:24
Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon
Small-Town Mayor Steps Down Amid Scandal Over Forged Coupon
Pennington, IL mayor Sue Hallinan resigns in shame after passing bad coupons at the local Kroger. (Aired 10/4/11) Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:17
Man With Nice Eyes Blown
Man With Nice Eyes Blown
Female voters can't help fawning over sexist GOP candidates, a homesick kid on a sleepover just needs to tough it the fuck out, and Neil DeGrasse Tyson lets it slip that he's been to Mars. It's the week of March 26th, 2012. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:02
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere
Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
2:45
Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day
Stephen Strasburg Ceremoniously Re-Injures Arm On Opening Day
Doc and Kenny catch a case of bullet-breath as they pull the trigger on Stephen Strasburg's Opening Day ceremony, Kentucky's draft prospects, and the Charlotte Bobcat's first ever dunk. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:37
Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:36
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall
Pop Star's Single, 'Booty Wave', Most Likely Civilization's Downfall
Multi-millionaire pop sensation, K'ronikka, appears on Today Now! completely unaware that she is responsible for the deterioration of civilized society. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:43
'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film
'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Made Into Feature Film
Fans are worried that the feature film adaptation of the beloved trailer won't live up to the original 90-second story's vision. More coverage at: onion.com
2:48
Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are
Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are
The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves.
2:31
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.
3:10
Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized
The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay." Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com
2:25
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: onion.com
3:25
How to Charge an iPod using electrolytes and an onion
How to Charge an iPod using electrolytes and an onion
In this episode we show you how to charge your iPod (or other mp3 player) for up to 20 minutes using electrolytes derived from Gatorade or Powerade which are then stored within the cells of an onion. You will need: 1. 1 White onion 2. 2 cups of Gatorade 3. Screwdriver 4. iPod and USB cableDisclaimer: As with this experiment and all other HouseHold Hacker videos. We cannot be held responsible for damage or mistakes made if attempting the experiments. These projects are for demonstration purposes only and should not be attempted at home. Note: *This video is a parody*
2:48
Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet
Al Qaeda Attacks Internet With Photo Of Adorable Piglet
Full coverage tonight at 10/9c only on IFC TV. The irresistibly cute photo was forwarded millions of times before servers collapsed. Original photo: yfrog.com
1:39
Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Domino's Tests Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
Despite ethical concerns about testing on humans, researchers say their work was necessary to determine the boundary between garbage and food.
0:57
How to Chop an Onion
How to Chop an Onion
Onions can lend a sweet distinct undertone to many soups, sauces, and stews. For more great videos check out: www.goodhousekeeping.com More from the World of Good Housekeeping: www.goodhousekeeping.com Subscribe to Good Housekeeping: subscribe.hearstmags.com -
2:58
Romney's Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth
Romney's Super Tuesday Polls Surge After He Begins Flaunting His Wealth
Instead of downplaying his millionaire status, Mitt Romney is now wearing fur coats and gold chains. Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: bit.ly Like The Onion on Facebook: www.fb.com Follow The Onion on Twitter: www.twitter.com