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U.S. Forced Marriages Still an Ugly Secret By Charundi Panagoda WASHINGTON, Jan 26, 2012 (IPS) - Two years ago, 40-year-old Vidya Sri decided to leave the
devastating marriage her parents had forced her into nearly
two decades ago. Alone for the first time, she began an
earnest quest for support groups, women's organisations or
service providers who might help her in the healing process.
Instead, what she found was a shocking lack of awareness on forced
marriages in the United States.
Sri came to the U.S. with her parents as a toddler and grew up in New
York. Her Indian parents were quite traditional, especially her
father, who was adamant that she not mingle with the opposite sex.
"My parents were very strict about family honour. It was (important)
to my father that I remain untouched, unspoiled, pure and pristine
because I would be of marriageable age very soon," Sri said.
Her parents were outraged when she started dating a boy in college.
She was sent to India against her will and told she could only return
with a husband. Sri wanted to continue her studies and did not want
to marry so young. However, under emotional coercion by her family,
she married the man her parents chose.
She spent the next 17 years developing an addiction to alcohol and
falling deep into depression for the sake of honouring her family's
wishes.
At 40, she finally decided to defy tradition and get a divorce.
During the process, she came across the term "forced marriage" and
her predicament became very clear to her.
"My sense of balance, sense of right and wrong completely changed and
fell back into place…it was like a fog had lifted," she said.
Today, as Sri gives speeches about her experience through her
advocacy organisation Gangashakti, a remarkable number of South Asian
women come up to her and say, "You just described my entire life."
Even women from various other ethnic communities such as Hispanic,
Chinese and African identify with her. Sri found that, though there
is some basic awareness of the incidence forced marriages, there were
very few people directly addressing the issue. Most people living in
the U.S. believe that forced marriages happen only in remote corners
of the third world and are shocked to hear about it happening in
their own.
This year, says Sri, Tahirih Justice Center released the results of
the
very first U.S. forced marriage
survey, finding about 3,000 cases in
the country in the last two years. Heather Heiman, senior public
policy attorney for Tahirih, said this number is "just scratching the
surface" of the problem, as many victims are reluctant to come
forward with their stories.
The practice crosses religious and ethnic boundaries and varies
hugely from case to case. Complying with custom or tradition,
honoring contractual arrangements between families, poverty and
preserving family honour against accusations of promiscuity are some
of the most consistent reasons.
Sometimes, a person thought to be homosexual might be forced into a
heterosexual marriage.
Most women in forced marriages are not aware that their human rights
are being violated, said Rupa Khetarpal, director of Cross Cultural
Counseling Center at the International Institute of New Jersey, a
refugee resettlement agency. Women and girls can be threatened with
physical violence or even death until they comply.
Such was the case for a Russian woman who was beaten and starved by
her brother when she refused a forced marriage. Other times, women
are forced by subtle emotional abuse and overwhelming parental
pressure.
Most forced marriages are discovered through screening for other
forms of gender-based violence, like domestic abuse.
"If you ask women directly, 'Were you forced to be married?' they
wouldn't answer. Many women see it as a marriage they didn't want, or
weren't ready for at the time but the word 'forced,' they do not
relate to that," Khetarpal said.
Service providers are just beginning to understand the terminology of
forced marriage, she added. Agencies are becoming aware of forced
marriages as a root cause of abuse. There is a dearth of research on
this issue in the U.S. and absent proper statistics and hard data,
funding remains elusive.
"It's a vicious cycle. Once we get the data, it'll help us move
forward, not just to get funding, but also to try to create services
that would effectively meet the needs of our clients because they
don't currently fall into any category," Khetarpal said.
A serious lack of legal definitions have made it difficult for
survivors, especially those who are underage, to seek help through
the criminal justice system. There's a disturbing number of underage
girls being forcibly married to older men in the United States, Julia
Alanen, cofounder and director of the Global Justice Initiative, told
IPS.
Most of these cases must rely on ancillary crimes such as rape or
assault to be prosecuted. The lack of legislation also affects how
Child Protective Services can help underage victims.
Forced marriage has only been criminalised in about eight
jurisdictions in the U.S., Alanen added. The U.S. Department of State
follows the U.N. mandate and considers forced marriage a violation of
human rights and a form of child abuse when involving minors.
However, there are very few U.S. laws preventing forced marriage and
there are no federal laws addressing the issue. In this regard, the
U.S. falls far behind the United Kingdom.
"U.K. has been dealing with this issue head on for years. They've
passed national legislation, they've created a forced marriage unit
and a forced marriage hotline. There are training manuals for
educators, healthcare providers, social services providers, lawyers
and there are resources for both the advocates and victims. In the
U.S., we have none of that," Alanen said.
Two bills have been introduced to the Congress regarding forced
marriage so far. But the International Protecting Girls by Preventing
Child Marriage Act and the International Child Marriage Prevention
and Protection Act only address forced marriages happening in
developing countries. Such bills don't even acknowledge that this
happens in the Unites States, Alanen said.
However, advocacy around this issue might increase dramatically in
coming years, Alanen said.
Heiman added that Tahirih is working on more surveys and developing a
national coalition of advocates and survivors on the issue.
"I'm hoping once we get the data and start really focusing on this
issue in terms of documenting the cases, we could potentially create
some services that would help us to work with law enforcement and
criminal justice system in securing support for these young women so
that they don't end up in abusive relationships and we don't end up
picking up after the damage has been done," Khetarpal said.
(END)
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