Hello, everyone, God here again. Although you might not think it to look at me, I am often given to deep introspection, and this time of year finds me just as contemplative as the rest of you. In fact, much like my subjects, I figure I better get these resolutions... » read this article

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Boston Globe publisher, Chris Mayer, announced today that the Globe was relocating its headquarters to Mars. The announcement came in response to a question by a reporter at the paper’s weekly press conference: “How come today’s Globe didn’t even mention yesterday’s large demonstration through downtown Boston by the 99% against... » read this article

WASHINGTON—With the United States facing a daunting array of problems at home and abroad, leading historians courteously reminded the nation Thursday that when making tough choices, it never hurts to stop a moment, take a look at similar situations from the past, and then think about whether the decisions people... » read this article

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—The University of Virginia published the results of an extensive 18-month study Wednesday revealing that 96 percent of human beings across the planet would strongly prefer to be a singing, dancing animatronic bear. The UVA researchers, who conducted thousands of surveys with residents of 196 different countries, discovered that... » read this article

Citizens, we regret to interrupt your day with these important matters. But it has come to our attention that far too many of you are failing to read or watch the daily news provided by our friends, the Mainstream Press. We don’t wish to alarm you, but there are momentous... » read this article

February 6, 2011, Washington — The Ronald Reagan School for Political Dramatics has opened! On the 100th anniversary of Ronald Reagan’s birth, his foundation announced the opening of a brand new acting school founded in his honor. In an official statement, the Reagan family explained: “We wanted to combine his... » read this article

Disgusted Democrats letting Weiner shrivel By S.A. MILLER in Washington and SALLY GOLDENBERG and BOB FREDERICKS in NY Top Senate Democrat Harry Reid cut off disgraced Rep. Anthony Weiner yesterday, saying he wouldn't even take a call from the onetime political up-and-comer. "Call someone else!" the Senate majority leader snapped... » read this article

The CDCR (California Department of Confinement and Rigor-mortis) announced today that it released 84 year-old prisoner, Frank Smith, from prison. Smith had been imprisoned for 56 years for possession of an ounce of marijuana, and was the first prisoner in the last 16 years to be released by the CDCR.... » read this article

TEHRAN, Feb 24, 2011 -- As a wave of "people power" this month toppled dictators throughout the Americas, citizens of Africa and the Middle East—the world's prosperous democracies— felt joy and sympathy. Nowhere was this more true than here in Iran. But with the fall of the dictatorship in Washington,... » read this article

Haiti's presidency is up for grabs, and here in the US, we need to do something about it!... » read this article

Egypt and the rest of the Mediterranean countries are all on fire, creating a snowball that is Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Iran 1979 Players: Egypt, Tunisia, Israel, Spain, Greece, Italy, England, Ireland, Russia, the Mediterranean, Franz Ferdinand Advanced by: Glenn Beck (see video above) Sample quote: "The entire Mediterranean is... » read this article

Understand what Clinton really means even though our empire prevents us from usually sharing this information... » read this article

The author recognizes that most nations, particularly the United States and Canada, are not forward thinking enough to understand that a country does not need to be in debt. The steps outlined below are not in order of priority – they are all equally necessary and should be undertaken simultaneously... » read this article

Editorial Note: Scroll down for the article.  Seems that the Defense Policy Board took the Murawiec presentation very seriously...  The only problem is that Egypt never took it seriously. (requires about 30 seconds to load) - Cherifa Sirry Axis of Logic Correspondent in Egypt Three Decades of a Joke That Just... » read this article

There has been a fresh round of articles appearing recently concerning world population, suggesting that journalists may have grown tired finally of writing/worrying/bullshitting about climate change. Indeed, Google Trends indicates that articles on population growth have doubled since 2008. Apparently, 2011 is the year the planet is expected to reach... » read this article

Eneko Las Heras, born in Caracas in 1963, is a cartoonist based in Spain. This cartoon was first published on his blog . . . Y sin embargo se mueve on 10 December 2010.... » read this article

Times were tough for Joseph and Mary.  The real estate bubble crashed.  Unemployment soared among construction workers.  There was no work, not even for a skilled carpenter. The settlements were still being built, financed mostly by Jewish money from America, contributions from Wall Street speculators and owners of gambling dens.... » read this article

(Washington) President Barack Obama has confided his plans to become a registered Republican some time before the end of the lame-duck session of the 111th Congress. Speaking to his inner circle, he lamented failing to bring the two major parties together. One of his confidants reported Obama saying, "It's really... » read this article