January 2005 Archive

Reality is so, like, boring.

Today I was thinking to myself that there is not enough magic in my life.
At least today.
But today is handicapped by the fact that it is Monday.
And I am sleep deprived.
And I must be at work.
And I know that I must do laundry (lots of it)
And I am not in love.
And I am not in Love.
But I do love. A little, some close friends and my family.

So I need a little magic vitamin.

Here cometh ol’ Pablo.


The Light Wraps You”
By Pablo Neruda

The light wraps you in its mortal flame.
Abstracted pale mourner, standing that way
against the old propellers of the twilight
that revolves around you.

Speechless, my friend,
alone in the loneliness of this hour of the dead
and filled with the lives of fire,
pure heir of the ruined day.

A bough of fruit falls from the sun on your dark garment.
The great roots of night grow suddenly from your soul,
and the things that hide in you come out again
so that a blue and pallid people,
your newly born, takes nourishment.

Oh magnificent and fecund and magnetic slave
of the circle that moves in turn through black and gold:
rise, lead and possess a creation
so rich in life that its flowers perish
and it is full of sadness.

“Every Day You Play”
By Pablo Neruda

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me,
my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.
I want
to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

And the day is saved.
Yes, saved.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Wow.

Who knew that my writing muse would choose to reside in my car.
I have wifi in the driveway and had a piece to do tonight.

I think it turned out pretty damn well.

A snippet:
(more…)

Posted by Min Jung in General

Yup.

I’m so professional.

Most professional moment of the day?
Eating sloppy black bean sauce noodles at my desk (Instant Jja Jjang Mien) out of a Shwag Giftbasket bowl that used to hold cookies and popcorn.

And being caught slurping loudly while on a conference call.

Nice.

Posted by Min Jung in FoodyFoody, General

Huh

Glad to know I’m not the only one who’s feeling a little blue.Link to Article

Posted by Min Jung in General

Funny.

You know what I think I need today?

A good cry.

For no reason in particular. I mean I miss my mom a little today. It’s a little overcast. I’m listening to David Gray. I’m not missing anyone else in particular or wishing for something that I don’t have. In fact, everything is pretty ok.

It’s just,

You know, I’ve been working so hard on being a better person for other people and to be strong.
I’ve done all these things, resolved, worked hard, processed, detached, blah blahblahblahblah.

It’s been a while, and maybe for too long I’ve denied myself a good cry.
I’ve denied myself an opportunity to be human, and weak, and to still feel accepted and ok.

When I get that chance, I know what I’m going to do this week.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Parental Units

You know,

It used to be kind of simple.

You used to know who your parents were. Unless you were adopted.
In which case you were really questioning who both of your parents were.
Or maybe you weren’t at all and were ascribed only to focusing on who’s children you weren’t.

And the dynamics associated with interracial adoption might be a concern or challenge.

But from the media, it feels like fewer and fewer folks are able to track of the Father’s of their children.

And CJ going off about Flava Flav and his paternity negligence don’t help much either.

When did it stop being common sense for people to raise children when they can’t successfully keep track of who they’re fucking?

Posted by Min Jung in General

Ooooh, that had to hurt.

You know what’s ouchy?

Snowburn.

You know what’s ouchier?

Packing snowburn.

Especially when you slide downhill on your face.

Seriously, trust me on this one.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Scrawled Lyrics

And it’s ok
I tell myself this
when it’s dark and I can see myself
And it’s just a moon
Half empty for wishing
it was somewhere else
maybe closer to you.
And when it’s just the wind racing through the trees
I hear instead of your breathing next to me

I tell myself, just a little longer
and I’ll be my whole self again

I tell myself, it’s just a little longer
I’ll be shining bright on my own and then

Will you see me rise
up over the horizon when you’re home alone
And you think about all the things I meant
to say but didn’t have the courage then
but you know,
yes you know and maybe
yeah you know
that we could have maybe
yes you know
and you think too, yourself

I can wait just a little longer
I’ll be whole self soon again

If I had tried just a little harder
I’d be my whole self with you again

Maybe, some time is all that it really took
Maybe, it was something else written in the book of
someone else’s story that i scrawled my name
where it wasn’t meant to be
but you always knew better than I do

I just can’t wait any longer
To be my whole self, yes again

I need you hear baby mroe than ever
With you my heart’s all full and then

with every moon rise I’ll see
Your love shining sweet for me to see
Your sweet smile, right there right side me…

Posted by Min Jung in General, Poetica Spontenaium

Thunk of the Day

“When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere.”
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

I like quotes. Especially by those folks who have last names that I can’t even fathom trying to pronounce.
While sober even.

In terms of personal tranquility: I’m working on that.
Had a session with my Coach yesterday whom I’ve mentioned here before and we went over some things that I’ve had challenges with:
#1: Shielding my emotional state from immediate expression: Both in verbal and non-verbal cues when it’s not completely appropriate
#2: Accepting or Not Accepting feedback and how to respond to this: I don’t need to accept everyone’s criticism at face value. Not everyone is right in their perception of who I am and the work that I do. But sometimes it’s ok to take the feedback so long as it’s with a grain of salt. We all got our things.
#3: Overcoming resistance to change: Both personally and professionally and how to adjust successfully like that to be who I have the opportunity to be which is … A Total Fucking Rawkstar.

Posted by Min Jung in General, Today's Thunk

Eating Korean

My Uhnnee Cecilia has a cook book out!

Eating Korean - Buy it Yum Yum Yum!

Check it out and BUY IT!!!!

Wooooo I’m so excited and proud of my Uhnnee!!!

Posted by Min Jung in General

Wow.

I’ve been referred to as a lot of things in my life.

Some flattering, many not.
And some flattering –only in context.

I’ve been watching Madonna’s documentary Truth or Dare.

Now… not to say I’m any where *near* as diva as Ms. Ciccone. But…seeing her go apeshit neurotic over some minor things….

Well.

I gotta say it’s a gawddamn holy experience.

Because if *she* can go nutso over a show and the sound equipment in Toronto, then I am totally allowed to go apeshit and neurotic about anything else in my life.

“You’re so fine, And you’re mine. I’ll be your’s until the end of time. Because you make me feel. Yeah, you make me feel, I’ve got nothing to hide. Like a virgin. Touched for the very first time.”

So…. whenever I have a lapse and feel a lack of P*** confidence, the universe happens to chuck something my way. Oh yeah.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Abuse of a long weekend:

That being: too lazy to do anything, too lame to plan to go away, and too tired, to be productive the morning after either.

Well atleast Monday’s not a total Monday.
And at somepoint this week I’m sure I’ll get some laundry done.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Poetica Spontenaium 01.12.05

I feel alive
Scintillating with good wine and talk of sex
A brand new dress and plumeria on my skin

Like all things new and and pulsing
Are within my fingertips
In my breath
and under my skin

This is the beginning, I know.
Of a long lost and unmarked road
My laces are new and tight.
Fresh sneakers, shiny, white.
And that unconscious bite on your lip
once you’ve heard that gun pop go

And it’s like all new things
first kisses and soft cadences
of new songs with purple rhythms
plump and full like concord grapes
that surprise you with a soft pop
as you lick them down your throat

Like that morning Sunday after the first,
when Marvin Gaye sets the first tone
of your day with awwwww right and gooooooood loving
singing to your spine and skin with love for
honey warm on peaches while wearing egyptian cotton

And you got pillows on your mind
and your mind sinking quick into pillows
followed by bessos on your dimples
and firm hands upon your thighs
and your breath catches with a sigh
the kiss leftover from the night before,
still tangled in your hair

Oh, caught there, like your dreams
that you had before this together
of things you feared to want
but scrawled haphazardly on your belly at night
with fingers sleep drunk wth future memories

it was always this, you knew, this now
this new, this how
and it is
as you always wanted
and i am.

Posted by Min Jung in General, Poetica Spontenaium

Shitsers

As of this moment, there are 2611 entries in Jay’s MT Spam Blacklist.

By comparison I have 79 common spam words for WP.

Interesting.

Posted by Min Jung in General

Ah, meditations.

PERSPECTIVE.

The shadow or object mirrored in water in motion, that is to say in
small wavelets, will always be larger than the external object
producing it. – Notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci

In other discussions this evenings:

Conflicts are easier mitigated and resolved when you consider this:

90% of the world has the same value set as you.
It is of goodness, justice, health, and happiness along with success, and to some degree hubris.

Most situations can be resolved and mitigated when you recognize this and understand that folks * do * have the same valueset as yours. They may just rank or prioritize certain values a bit differently than you do. You can come to an accord if you understand this concept and resolve that the overall valueset and goal is above your individual priorities.

And most weenieness (yes, I said weenieness) is just something that requires a tweak in the prioritization. Not an overhaul of the valueset overall. For the 10 % of a different valueset altogether? Fuck ‘em.

Posted by Min Jung in General, Today's Thunk