Now look, friends, I don’t want to be alarmist but I strongly suspect that Adolph, of Hitler fame, is not only alive but is running the White House and the Pentagon.
Now look, I know you probably think that I’ve finally tripped over the carpet, banged my head, and I’m in a coma but I beg to argue my case. I know all the evidence is circumstantial but there is so much of it that I can no longer contain myself!
Let me ask you: Which nation has most closely followed Nazi Germany since its demise in WW2? There is only nation that has wrapped itself in the Hitler mantle and set about invading and occupying most of the world! That is clearly the U.S.
Now why would the U.S. having spent from 1941 to 1945 fighting against Fascism suddenly adopt it as its raison de etre? This is me asking you this question? I know it’s a controversial question but there is no need to look so dumbfounded.
Clearly what has happened is that Hitler didn’t die in a bunker at all. He and his mistress were caught, interrogated (no, not water-boarded), then, in a strange twist of fate, taken to the U.S. (must like the Saudis were transported to their country after 9/11), and set up in a cupboard in the White House, one labelled DO NOT OPEN EXCEPT IN EMERGENCIES!
The leaders of the U.S., even in 1945, knew that Hitler was onto a good thing, that is world domination, and they wanted to ensure that Hitler’s plan would come to fruition with one small change: America would run the world, the Forth Reich if you will, and a thousand years of American Kulture would envelop the Earth.
Now I know that some of you, the more discerning ones, are scratching your heads and will be asking the question: WHAT AMERICAN KULTURE? It’s a fair question and I’m afraid I can’t answer it. Germany at one stage had a flowering Kulture and its composers, philosophers and dramatists were legion. America…, well, next question!
So after Russia went bankrupt trying to out-borrow the U.S., someone in the White House mentioned the DO NOT OPEN cupboard. Hitler was taken out still clutching Eva to his bosom (or hers depending on how you look at these things) and a President, I can’t remember which one, said loudly: “This is a market driven economy, Dolph, and it works on a ‘survival of the fittest’ ethic. We’ve fed you scraps for long enough. It’s time for you to repay us.”
Hitler, who was still blinking because of the sunlight, clicked his heels, gave a salute, and said, “Herr President. I haf only one purpose, to serve you. Would you like me to ‘Kliethanbildrufukssion‘ you?”
“We’re not into that filth,” the President admonished. “We are Christians. All we want is your help to set up an American Reich, one that will last a thousand years. We know yours didn’t last too long because of the greatness of America, but you had some good moves, for example blitzkrieg worked well, we call it shock and awe, and the gas ovens…we have cages in Gitmo, it’s less controversial but no matter. Our problem is that no one likes us. We need help! Surely, you must’ve learned from your mistakes!”
“Yes, I should’ve invaded Britain and left Russia alone. And those Japanese Frauleins bombing Pearl Cove, Gott Damen zer funny eyes!”
The rest is history at they say. Over fifty years Hitler has had many guises and many cosmetic interceptions. Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Cheney, he comes and goes, but always he is there, pulling zer strings, as they say too!
So if you are wondering why the U.S. has become a NAZIS nation with ambitions to control the whole world by military force, the explanation is simple and completely obvious. Hitler is running the show with the help of Dolly of the Grossen Boobies fame, and frequent injections!
To save the world we must march on the White House, find Hitler, release him, then send him to Hollywooooood, the home of American Kulture, where he will produce war movies that show what should have happened in WW2!
And America? With Hitler gone, surely it will find its soul, discover some values, adopt Buddhism, and live in peace for a thousand years.
P.S.That is my wishful-thinking thought for today!