Choler

You’ll Never Walk Alone…Except Under A Tory Government.

Posted by Choler on December 31, 2011 No comments

By now many of you would have read that recently opened National Archives record that Thatcher’s first Conservative Government discussed abandoning Liverpool after the 1981 riots. The Tory cabinet minister Michael Heseltine took the sane line that massive, and rising, unemployment was destabilising the country’s inner cities and that an influx of cash was needed to solve the problem. However others of a more Thatcherite (and bonkers) ilk, such as Sir Keith Joseph*, thought that investing in Liverpool was throwing good money after bad and that its problems were of its own making. Her chancellor at the time, Sir Geoffrey Howe, warned her not to waste money trying to ‘pump water uphill’. Indeed Thatcher was advised to follow a policy of ‘managed decline’, which would even have included evacuating the city! Even though the population was well in excess of quarter of a million people in the 1980s.

Of course this policy was never implemented, but the fact that it was even mooted at the highest level is surely proof positive of the insane nature of the 1980s Conservative Governments. I wonder what further revelations will be revealed as the 30 year rule opens up more of Thatcherism’s dark secrets held in the National Archives? A plan to nuke Scotland perhaps? Or the development of a new strain of anthrax that would target miners or CND members (the ‘enemy within‘)?

* My younger readers may not have heard of Keith Joseph (whom I had the great misfortune of meeting once…but that’s a tale for which the world is not yet ready)…he looked like a Nazi war criminal, but in real life he wasn’t that charming. Sir Keith made Thatcher look like a bleeding heart liberal and said:

‘We need inequality to eliminate poverty’. And,

‘It needs to be said that the poor are poor because they don’t have enough money’.

2011: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Bullshit!

Posted by Choler on December 29, 2011 No comments

Another journalistic staple of this time of the year is the End of Year Quiz. And here it is! Can you tell the difference between ~~butter and margarine~~ er, what actually happened/was said in 2011 (and just some shit I made up).

Good Luck Chums! Your 15 questions start below:

Poll Result And Details Of A New Poll.

Posted by Choler on December 28, 2011 4 comments

I asked, Did you/or do you intend to take strike (or any other) action in defence of pensions on November 30th? And you replied:

Yes. (61.11%, 11 Votes)
No, for whatever reason. (33.33%, 6 Votes)
Don’t know. (5.56%, 1 Votes)

A new poll now lives on the right, let me what you’re hoping for in 2012.

2011: A Counter-Factual Odyssey.

Posted by Choler on December 27, 2011 No comments

At this cursed time of the year there are many customs, traditions and obligations that many of us follow. We all dread receiving that Xmas card that means that we have to send them one. We eat vast amounts of food that we would never touch at any other time of the year. And we drink Egg Nog, Warniks Advocaat or Gods Awful Baileys Irish Cream. This is also the time of the year when we are treated to that most lazy form of journalism - The Review of the Year. Well, here at Choler Towers, we like to do things a wee bit different. So here’s my review of stuff that didn’t happen in 2011, plus (and at no extra cost) a few predictions for the new year to come:

JANUARY

Nothing happened. No really, nothing happened at all. Until, that is, I published my first blog post - and then the ordure really hit the ventilation system.

FEBRUARY

I published a new post every five or six minutes (where did I get the energy from). The Arab Spring was already in full swing and ConDem Nation apologised on behalf on themselves and previous British governments for helping to arm various wealthy North African dictators. Cameron said in parliament, ‘I don’t know why we all did it. The repression was fairly obvious and yet we continued to sell arms to these rotters. But we promise never to do so again in the future, and we’ll do our best to support the advance of true democracy in this part of the world’. Later in the month parliament debated a bill to phase out the UK’s arms industry, with those employed in it receiving the necessary support to transfer their skills to other industries.

The leader of the Labour Party, Ed Milliband, was busy touring the country making certain he was seen at every protest at ConDem Nation’s cuts, placing himself and his party at the front of the struggle against those cuts.

The regime in Egypt fell and the army pledged to take no part in the governance of the country, and instead promised to fully support a new civilian regime and to protect Egyptian worker’s rights.

Julian Assange‘s lawyers announced that he would be returning immediately to Sweden to face his accusers and protest his innocence at trial.

MARCH

Nick Clegg first began to express his doubts about the coalition. He had led the Liberal Democrats into government, he said, ‘not for the faint glimmer of political power. But for the good and stability of the country as a whole’. However he expressed his fears that both himself, and his party, were beginning to lose their identity.

The Brazilian government took decisive action to end violence and murder against Brazilian homosexuals and transsexuals.

The TUC March for the Alternative took place in London and the media attention focussed upon the fact that between a quarter and a half a million people protested ConDem Nation’s program of damaging cuts. And not upon some rather petty acts of (understandable) vandalism.

George Osborne announced his budget and, surprisingly, put forward the following policies as a way of getting the country out of its economic difficulties:

the regeneration of the UK’s manufacturing base would be regarded as the main priority for the government.
our taxation system would undergo a thorough review, and corporate tax avoidance and evasion would be targeted.
the minimum wage would be raised, thus providing a quick boost to local economies.
ConDem Nation’s planned cuts would be halted as the best way to prevent a double-dip recession.

APRIL

The French government made it clear that, despite the secular nature of France, its people have every right to dress as they wished - particularly when they considered such garb to be a necessary part of their faith or culture. Sarkozy himself said ‘It’s absurd to image, in a mature and sophisticated democracy, that we can free Muslim women by threatening them with arrest’.

In April two marvellous and highly productive members of society got married and the whole nation did rejoice. We here at Choler Towers were so excited that we devoted a series of blog posts to the happy couple and the happy day – including a highly popular one by the terribly fashion-conscious and glamorous Harpy.

MAY

Many people voted for their local councils, and a referendum was held as to a possible new voting system. Due to the dynamic and campaigning leadership of the Labour Party, and its ever visible leader Ed Milliband, Labour did far better than anyone could possibly imagine – and especially so in Scotland. The referendum gave people a wide range of options as to a future system and a strict system of Proportional Representation was chosen, after an intelligent and thoughtful campaign was fought on all sides. No longer would we have a situation where a preference towards the smaller parties would be a waste of time for voters. And, as for the major parties, PR would mean that a vote for Labour in deepest Surrey would be just as important as a Conservative vote in Glasgow East. In choosing PR the people opted for a system which really counts every vote, with every vote counting.

JUNE

The Liberal Vince Cable gave a speech wherein he pledged his continued support for basic trade union rights as one of the most important bulwarks of a democratic society. When it was pointed out to him that this position was somewhat in contradiction to his leading role in ConDem Nation he said ‘Oh yes, I’d never thought of that before…thank you very much for pointing this out to me. I shall, of course, immediately resign from the cabinet and take some time to reflect upon my political future’.

June also saw myself reaching out to ConDem Nation with helpful hints and sage advice. I suggested to dear, darling David that he replace that utter waste of space Andrew Lansley as numero uno in the NHS with a more dynamic figure: Dr Hawley Harvey Crippen, Dr Walter Freeman (famous for his ice-pick lobotomies) or Dr Harold Shipman. Sadly none of my suggestions were alive enough to be possible candidates.

Later that same month I suggested that ConDem Nation solve its pensions crisis by simply euthanising public sector workers when they reach the age of 80. And this time the government agreed to my advice, although they reduced the age to 75.

JULY

In July I took my first glance across the pond to the race to become the Republican Party’s candidate to stand against Barack Obama in next year’s US presidential election. This was somewhat of an odd post in that it turned into a tirade about the awfulness that is the Book of Leviticus. A later post on the race led me to throw my, not inconsiderable, weight behind either a Sarah Palin/Glenn Beck Republican ticket, or Michele Bachmann/David Duke.

Whilst I was busy obsessing about far-right US politics the rest of the country was more interested in the Hackgate scandal at the News of the World. Following a thorough enquiry Rupert and James Murdoch were sentenced to 7 years in prison each; and the British print media emerged stronger than ever – combining principal with investigatory courage.

AUGUST

Riots in many parts of the country led to a thoughtful national debate as to their possible cause. Although many theories were put forward a general sense that the violence had an economic basis emerged. Particularly given the rise in youth unemployment and youth homelessness that have been one of the features of 2011. ConDem Nation snapped into action and began to look into ways that youth could be brought back into society via employment, training or education.

The calm and considered nature of the post-riot debate was helped by Kent Tory Councillor Bob Frost who didn’t describe the rioters as ‘jungle bunnies’. And whose contact details are not available by clicking on his name.

SEPTEMBER

A quiet month in Choler Towers (I may possibly have overdone the port), but I did publish a piece from an old Oxford chum of mine, the Huffington Post (and now Guardian) blogger, Kate Harrad. Kate wrote Fat, Stale and Unprofitable? And this has been, easily, the most read blog post published on these virtual pages.

OCTOBER

Trying, once again, to reach out to our lords and masters in ConDem nation I published a modest proposal to deal with child poverty and youth unemployment. And this time I’m pleased to report that the government snapped into action and followed my proposals. I am pleased to announce that there is no longer a waiting list for organ transplants (always assuming that you have the money to pay for them). And our nation’s street corners are buzzing with attractive teenagers eager to join the cash economy.

October also saw the Occupy Things movement establish itself in the mighty metropolis with hordes of anarchist undead blood-suckers despoiling one of London’s least interesting tourist ~~traps~~ attractions.

And in America the Republican Party continued to demonstrate that there were no depths to which they’d sink in order to provide me with cheap laughs. But help would soon be on its way…

NOVEMBER

…and it was to come in the shapely shape of my virtual Republican Martha Gomez. She is beautiful, ticks all the right demographic boxes, is free of any past scandal and is exactly as right-wing as you want her to be. So it’s not at all surprising that the High Command of the Republican Party (located, surprisingly, in a highly fortified bunker deep beneath Bavaria) immediately chose her as their candidate to stand against the (in their words) ‘muslim, atheist, commie-fascist, faggot-enabler and probable despoiler of white women Barack Obama’.

November saw the sad news that Europe’s most respected politician, Silvio Berlusconi, resigned as the Italian premier. A nation wept when this model of personal probity and high political principal left office in the greater interests of Italy. We here at Choler Towers will miss his financial corruption, his bunga bunga parties and his cosying up to fascism – Silvio was a great servant to the European Left.

In domestic politics no one at all went on strike on the 30th in defence of their pension rights. This damp squib proved conclusively that the organised working class in this country, and their allies, have lost the will to fight. And we can confidently predict that the Conservative millennium has begun.

DECEMBER

It’s the 27th and Christmas is already a dim and distant memory (largely due to the several cases of port that I’ve drunk in the last few days). And it’s time to dust off old Granny Choler’s crystal ball and peer into 2012.

Choler confidently predicts (that the following won’t happen):

Nick Clegg will appear live on television and apologise profusely for all he’s done since the general election. He will apologise to Lib-Dem voters and most especially to the country’s students for his lies and self-serving hypocracy…and then he will ritually disembowel himself with a plastic spork.
Margaret Hilda Thatcher will finally, fucking DIE!
Ed Milliband will suddenly come to the realisation that the two key duties of a leader of the opposition are to provide LEADERSHIP, and to OPPOSE the evil shit that our government has in store for us. And finally,
that the Great and Terrible Choler will mellow and give our rulers an easier time of it than in 2011.

If You Celebrate Then Have A Happy One, If Not Stay Choleric!

Posted by Choler on December 25, 2011 No comments

Flogging A Dead Elephant.

Posted by Choler on December 22, 2011 No comments

It’s been quite a few weeks since my last post on the Republican race to face Obama in the next US presidential election and things are hotting up, so here’s an update.

Republicans ‘lie’, SHOCKER!

The Guardian reported, back in November, that candidates Mitt Romney (below right, or maybe left) and Rick Perry (shown on the left, or maybe the right…who can tell these clones apart anyway) have been blurring the line between untruth and fiction in their TV campaign ads. By the process of highly selective editing (Trots tend to call it The Stalin School of Falsification), the ads appear to show Obama claiming that if he talks about the economy he will lose the election, and that he calls American workers ‘lazy’. Republican campaign ads that show Obama claiming that he is an Al-Qaeda agent who likes to rape white women are similarly counter-factual.

A Slot Opens Up For Matha Gomez!

And so we bid a less than fond farewell to Herman Cain. The alleged sexual abuser has finally dropped out of the race to lead the Grand Old Party next year. After agonising about just how right-wing he could possibly become, he was forced to ‘suspend’ his campaign. Blaming political and media pressure on his family in the wake of (what he described as) ‘false’ allegations of sexual harassment, and a 13-year-long extra-marital affair. Choler, of course, believes Mr Cain’s claims that he did not have an affair with Ms Ginger White…after all doesn’t every married man (perfectly innocently) help to pay the bills for a woman, whom his wife has no knowledge of, for more than a decade?

The political ramifications of Mr Cain’s withdrawal appear to mean that his supporters will move towards Newt Gingrich, and indeed Herman appears to have endorsed Mr Gingrich. But Choler has a message for Mr Cain’s supporters, why not transfer your support to my fictitious candidate Martha Gomez? She can be as right-wing as you want, and with no skeletons in her closet to worry you. Plus…and it’s a very much plus in these image-obsessed days…she is SO much more attractive than Newt (shown on the left of this photo) - who looks far too much like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

Just How Right-Wing Are These Fuckers?

The answer, not unsurprisingly, is VERY right-wing. And three of them (Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Santorum) have proven this by, apparently signing up to a piece of McCarthyite homophobia. The National Organization For Marriage (an organiation noted for its homophobia and opposition to marriage equality) has drawn up a pledge to investigate the American LGBT community and Romney, Bachmann and Santorum) have signed it. The pledge reads (in part):

I, [candidate name], pledge to the American people that if elected President, I will:

[...] establish a presidential commission on religious liberty to investigate and document reports of Americans who have been harassed or threatened for exercising key civil rights to organize, to speak, to donate or to vote for marriage and to propose new protections, if needed.

Maybe it’s just me but I have visions, in a few years time, of various Glee cast members sitting before an aggressive committee answering the question, ‘are you now, or have you ever been a homosexual?’.

Another nice ‘step to the right’ comes from Mitt Romney who has been accused of using the KKK slogan, ‘Keep America American’. Romney has denied this, but this blog post would appear to suggest that this denial is somewhat counter-factual!

And if you want to know about Rick Perry’s awfulness then click on this mercifully short campaign ad [WARNING: YOU MAY NEED A SICK BAG HANDY!]

And Who The Fuck Is Dick Sanitarium Anyway?

Well spotted gentle reader…there has been a new candidate emerge from the swamp since last I cast my eyes over the pond. Rick Santorum is yet another far-right dickhead with exactly the same prejudices as all the others. His favorite buzzword is ‘family’ and in his 2005 book, ‘It Takes a Family’, he advocates a society based upon family values (yes, those again) and centred on monogamous, heterosexual relationships, marriage, and child-raising. He favours restricting or prohibiting abortion and is, of course, against homosexuality. He also wants so-called intelligent design taught alongside evolution.

One of his seven children is dying from the genetic disorder Trisomy 18, and he has said that this has helped to focus his opposition to ‘socialised-medicine’…no, I don’t understand either. Obviously being able to pay for your seriously ill child’s medical bills from your personal wealth of between $522,015 to $1,824,997 is somehow Good…whilst having the state pay for it from society’s contributions is Bad. He rejects the notion that un-insured Americans die because of the US system of health care and instead blames the sick, saying:

People die in America because people die in America. And people make poor decisions with respect to their health and their healthcare. And they don’t go to the emergency room or they don’t go to the doctor when they need to…And it’s not the fault of the government for not providing some sort of universal benefit.

Choler says, Mr Santorum you talk about a universe following the intelligent design of a benevolent god. But if that were really the case you would not exist.

I don’t know who is going to win the Republican nomination, but I can confidently predict one thing, s/he is going to be an utter piece of slime. And I’ll bet you a $1000 on that!

ETA: As if the fuckers couldn’t get any worse I’ve just read this (later in the evening): Newt Gingrich has told a gay voter that he should vote for Obama rather than him!

Happy Capitalmas! And God Bless Us, Every One (But Not Nick Clegg, Obviously)!

Posted by Choler on December 17, 2011 No comments

A blog post in which I attempt to annoy every one by railing against the only institution I hate more than the Liberal Democrat Party – CHRISTMAS! Christmas is Choler’s least favourite time of the year, I detest it even more than Royal Ascot or February. ‘But why?’, I hear you ask – simple, we’ve moved too far away from the true meaning of the festival. Take a look at this Christmas card image:

All the elements are there: Arian people – check, radioactive baby – check, terribly unhygienic cot – check, novelty stuffed cow/arm rest - check and not forgetting gormless-looking cuckold, Joseph, looking gormless - check! And some of you may receive Christmas cards looking like this Xmas. But Choler asks; what the fuck has any of this to do with Christmas, eh?! It might not be a popular message but it’s time to take a stand…to take a stand and say LET’S TAKE THE RELIGION OUT OF CHRISTMAS, AND CONCENTRATE UPON IT’S TRUE MEANING - UNFETTERED CAPITALISM!

The image below is proof positive that our notion of Christmas is a product of Capitalism and not of Christianity. There is Santa (who, remember, died for our sins) looking jolly and obese in his red and white suit (available from a well-known online store at just £99.99 plus a remarkably reasonable £0.29 shipping). Ask almost anyone from Tokyo to Toronto, or Cardiff to Capetown what Santa looks like and they will describe something like this:

Except he didn’t always look like that:

Our Father Christmas is dressed in the colours of Coca-Cola because he is advertising Coca-Cola, and that image, repeated as it has been over the years, has become the reality. ‘But surely Xmas is a time for children’, I hear you chorus as you stuff yourself with more mince pies. Ah the children, the looks on their pudgy little faces as they open up their Disney and Lego toys, bought from such stores as Marks & Spencer. Toys made in Chinese toy factories serving a market worth £2.8bn a year in the UK alone. And factories where some workers (as reported in The Guardian):

■ worked up to 140 hours overtime a month, for a basic wage of £132 a month (up to £250 with maximum overtime payments, and typically for £200 a month);

■ were paid up to a month late;

■ claimed they were expected to work with dangerous tools and machines without training or safety measures;

■ had to work in silence and were fined up to £5 for going to the toilet without permission.

It makes me go all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

But nevertheless I hope that all you who celebrate at this time of the year have as happy a time as possible. I, however, will go off to watch a A Christmas Carol backwards (so it has a happy ending)…wake me up when it’s all over!

Attacks On Workers And Workers Rights Worldwide.

Posted by Choler on December 14, 2011 No comments

Details of attacks on workers from LabourStart and the IUF.

Turkey:

62 workers, all members of the Turkish metal union, Birlesik Metal-IS, have been locked-out since July at a Turkish subsidiary of German-owned GEA Group located in Gebze, Turkey. The company, which professes to respect fundamental labour rights and freedom of association and has an International Framework Agreement with the International Metalworkers’ Federation, is claiming that workers took illegal strike action during 10:00-10:15; 12:00-12:30; and 15:00-15:15, which are also designated times for tea breaks and lunch. A collective bargaining agreement, hard won by workers three years ago, will be up for renegotiation on December 31. An expert’s report petitioned by GEA found there was no strike action taken. A separate investigation petitioned by Birlesik Metal found that workers were denied access to the workplace. In late November the Gebze court ruled that four workers dismissed on May 31 must be reinstated, a clear indication that the Turkish courts have found GEA to be acting unlawfully. There is a heavy police presence inside of the company yet GEA continues to refuse to meet with Birlesik Metal. The IMF, ITUC, IUF, ITF, ICEM and its global partners in partnership with LabourStart are calling on GEA to immediately meet with the union, end the lockout and reinstate all of the workers.

To add your voice to the protest email using this form.

Pakistan:

In July 2010 the Labour Qaumi Movement (LQM) began negotiating with employers to implement a 17% wage increase adopted by Government. Following 3 weeks of negotiations employers refused to pass on the pay increase. Subsequently 100,000 workers in Faisalabad and surrounding areas came out on strike to protest. It was during this strike that LQM trade union leaders were labelled as terrorists by the employers and they were arrested at a local police station. In early November 2011 the Anti Terrorism Court of Pakistan sentenced 6 union leaders to 490 years in jail for terrorism offences, despite the lack of any legitimate evidence to justify their arrest and sentencing. It is clear that the employers and judiciary aligned to silence the fundamental right of the workers to organise and bargain collectively as prescribed in ILO coventions 87 and 98.

Email your support here.

Ecuador:

On 28 October, Ecuador’s Minister for Labour Relations ordered the dismissal of more than 3, 000 workers, mainly employed in the public administration and health services. Police and security forces were sent in to ensure the removal of the sacked workers, using physical violence in some cases. The Government has also launched a smear campaign against public employees to try to justify the mass dismissals, calling them ‘corrupt and inept’, but not one single charge has been laid against any of the dismissed employees nor has any process been followed to dispute their competence or efficiency at work. Ecuador’s public services are already suffering the impact of the dismissals, with hospitals, in particular, being seriously affected and putting the health of communities at risk. Further dismissals are planned and it is feared that up to 150, 000 public sector workers may lose their jobs. Public Services International (PSI) and its affiliates in Ecuador are calling on the Government to end these unfair and unjustified dismissals and to reinstate those workers who have been sacked.

Email here.

Cambodia:

Workers unfairly terminated for trade union organizing at the five star Angkor Village Hotel and Angkor Village Botanical Resort Hotel in Siem Reap, Cambodia, are fighting for their rights, their jobs and their union – and need your support.

With the support of the IUF-affiliated Cambodian Tourism and Service Workers’ Federation (CTSWF), unions were legally formed at the two hotels in July this year. The owners retaliated by dismissing a total of 67 of the 90 workers at both hotels. The owners have defied rulings of the government Arbitration Council, court orders and official mediation that the mostly women workers were unjustly dismissed and must be reinstated in their jobs. The workers continue to peacefully demonstrate at the hotels despite police intimidation and arrests. You can support them – send a message to the owners demanding the immediate reinstatement of all dismissed workers with back pay, and the recognition of their unions.
To send a message, click here

For more information, click here

Bahrain:

Education International (EI) calls on you to urge the Bahraini authorities to review the charges and convictions and commute sentences of all teachers, teacher unionists and students charged with offences related to exercise of freedom of speech and right to assemble. The appeals of the Vice-President and President of the Bahraini Teachers Association (BTA) , on Sunday 11 December, are amongst EI’s concerns. Jalila al-Salman and Mahdi ‘Issa Mahdi Abu Dheeb are appealing of the sentences issued in September by the military National Safety Court of First Instance to three and ten years’ imprisonment, for their involvement in peaceful protests last March. Seven other BTA board members are also on trial and 76 teachers have been sacked for similar baseless reasons. A larger number of teachers are still suspended. Most BTA Board members and sacked and suspended teachers have had the opportunity to share their experience with Fred van Leeuwen, EI General Secretary, during his mission to Bahrain in November. All reported on the unjust treatment they suffered. The revision of the convictions is also highlighted in the strong recommendations of the Bahrain Independent Commission of Inquiry (BICI) . On 23 November, it recommended the Bahraini authorities “to review convictions and commute sentences of all persons charged with offences involving political expression, not consisting of advocacy of violence, or, as the case may be, to drop outstanding charges against them.” International Labour Organisation jurisprudence stresses the importance of the “principle of prompt and fair trial by an independent and impartial judiciary in all cases, including cases in which trade unionists are charged with political or criminal offences.”

Email support here.

Argentina:

The Argentine Agricultural workers Union, UATRE, is calling for urgent assistance to defend the agricultural workers social security system, RENATRE.
RENATRE,which has been held up as a model of good practice in extending social security to agricultural workers, is instituted under public law, but its board of directors is independent of government. Now the Government is trying to take control of the scheme and has introduced a law in Parliament to allow them to do this. UATRE has been informed that the bill will go before the Parliament on Tuesday, December 13, 2011.
You can support UATRE – click here to send a bi-lingual message (Spanish and English) to the President of Argentina and the Minister of Labour and Social Security.

‘Tis The Season To Be Pissed Off – Fa La La La La, La La La La. [PART 2.]

Posted by Choler on December 14, 2011 No comments

Part 2 of a round-up of all that’s currently crappy about ConDem Nation.

Health.

I sometimes wonder whether the likes of Cameron, Osborne and Clegg et al actually sit around a desk, stroking furry white cats, laughing maniacally and plotting on how evil they can be. Because nothing else could possibly explain some of their actions. For example how they sleep at night when their cuts to spending on building projects and facilities maintenance at the universities of Oxford, Cambridge, Manchester, and Imperial College and University College in London put at risk a possible cure for Parkinson’s disease and research to provide vaccines for HIV/Aids and malaria. The Guardian quotes figures released by the Department of Business Innovation and Skills that indicate funding has already been cut by around 65% across the above institutions this year. And it further quotes Professor Steve Young, a senior pro-vice-chancellor at Cambridge, as saying ’Critical infrastructure funding from government was cut by more than 70% in the current year’.

But perhaps the leading lights of ConDem Nation would reply that these are hard times, and a poor third-world country such as ours can no longer afford to carry out vitally needed world-class research. In which case I suppose that we can at least hope to see seriously ill people treated with respect and dignity…or at the very least, in a humane fashion. WRONG!

The Guardian reports that thousands of seriously ill cancer patients will be forced to take medical tests and face ‘back to work’ interviews whilst undergoing the rigours and hardships of chemotherapy. The article says:

At present, patients who are unable to work because of cancer and the side-effects of treatments are allowed to claim the highest rate of employment support allowance (ESA), worth up to £100 a week. More than 9,000 cancer patients were placed automatically on the welfare payment from October 2008 to June 2010. However, the expert report says this “automatic entitlement” has encouraged dependency on benefits, “encouraging wrong behaviours from employers and stigmatising cancer as something that can lead to unemployment or worklessness”.

What kind of cabinet meeting ends up with policy like this:

David: So chaps…and er, the woman who looks a bit like a Sontaran…we all agree that the best way to cut spending is by getting all the scroungers back to work?

Rest of the cabinet: *chorus of approval*.

David: Jolly good, any ideas?

George: Well Prime Minister, cancer patients currently scrounge up to £100 a week in ESA [*cries of shame and disgrace from the rest*]. So why don’t we get them to undertake tests to prove they have cancer and can’t work, whilst they’re actually undergoing chemo?

David: But might not that dissuade some people from claiming their pitifully small, just dues…and, indeed, create unnecessary stress on vulnerable people. Stress that might even endanger their recovery?

George: Yes, Prime Minister!

David: Oh well done George. Er, Vince and *thinks* Dick…do you have any problems with this appalling piece of illiberal evil?

Vince and Nick [in chorus]: No Prime Minister.

Youth Homelessness and Divorce.

One topic that tends to unite the Right world-wide is the importance they give to the family, and what they laughably call family values. Of course they are only referring to households of monogamous, heterosexual, strictly binary male/female married couples who are capable of and currently breeding new little workers-to-be. And one of the many ironies to this is that many of their policies place such families under such strain that they collapse. Unemployment and debt have helped to lead to a rise, for the first time since 2003, in UK divorce rates by a massive 4.9%. More than 132,200 couples had their marriages ended in 2010, compared with 126,496 in 2009. And with unemployment having risen since then, and set to rise further in 2012 we can expect more families to split up.

One of the consequences of the above (along with increased youth unemployment) is the UK’s soaring rate of youth homelessness. The Sunday Mirror reports that ‘…13,000 youngsters went to local authorities in October to declare themselves homeless or seek advice on how to cope. And the number sleeping rough in London alone since April is already up by 32 per cent on the whole of last year’. And The Guardian quotes the main findings of a survey from the charity Homeless Link, which I shall quote verbatim:

Nearly half of homelessness services (44%) and councils (48%) have seen an increase in young people seeking help because they are homeless or are at risk of becoming homeless
The number one cause for homelessness among this age group is relationship breakdowns with family and friends, and cases of this have increased
The majority (62%) of young homeless clients seen by charities were not in education, employment or training, [and] 46% were in financial difficulties
A quarter of young clients (26%) seen by services had experience of sleeping rough.

The same survey also looks at how local authorities and charities are coping with this, and says:

48% of homeless agencies reported turning away young single homeless people because their resources were fully stretched;
Nearly one in five local authorities (17%) feel they are not meeting their legal requirements for homeless young people aged 16-17;
Half of local authorities report using B&Bs [bed and breakfasts] as emergency accommodation for young people, despite Government guidelines which advise against their use;
More than 70% of local authorities said they had no shared accommodation private sector provision for young people, despite this being the only option for young people on housing benefit; and
53% of homeless agencies have experienced closures or threats of closure to youth services in their area.

Society.

Picture the scene if you will, gentle reader: David and George are soaking naked in the 10 Downing Street jacuzzi, drinking dirty martinis and listening to Michael Bublé’s latest album. David is stressing about the EU situation whist George is reassuring him not to worry about any long or medium term economic consequences, and instead to concentrate upon having shafted the Tory far right. ‘Look on the bright side Dave, you’ve scuppered Boris good and proper. The buffoon has been forced to support you unequivocably’. But David is still depressed, ‘George’, he blubbers, ‘cheer me up. Talk dirty politics to me’. George leers and says, ‘how about we charge single-parents a fee to obtain child maintenance payments from their ex-partners’. It’d be the same as taking money from babies’! David shudders lasciviously and moans, ‘more, George, MORE’. Okay, Prime Minister. We bring back Section 28 through the back door [he titters at his naughtiness]. We get Gove to insist that the free schools and academies promote marriage and the proper heterosexual values. Gove should be introduced ’model funding agreements’ as a template for how every new free school and academy should be run. Headteachers will be told that children must be protected from inappropriate teaching materials and learn the nature of marriage and its importance for family life and for bringing up children. And we’ll drop reference to the importance of so-called ’stable relationships’ which could include filthy couples living together outside marriage and homosexual partners’. The twinkle returns to David’s eye and he says, ‘George, you always know how to cheer me up’!

‘Tis The Season To Be Pissed Off – Fa La La La La, La La La La. [PART 1.]

Posted by Choler on December 8, 2011 1 comment

But no donning of gay apparel here. Instead here’s Part 1 of a round-up of some recent bad news from ConDem Nation.

Payday loans.

As the economic crisis starts to bite (see what I did there) the BBC reports that millions of Britons are likely to take out a high-interest loan in the next six months to last them until payday. This projection comes from R3, an association which represents “professionals working with financially troubled individuals and businesses”. Payday loan companies are now a £2bn-a-year business, and can charge more than 4,000% APR. Payday loans are small, short-term unsecured loans designed to tide people over until they get their salary. They can be cheaper than paying an unauthorised overdraft or a credit card charge, but if the loans are rolled over debts can quickly escalate. Apologists for payday loans point out that many people are happy with this financial service, and do not have problems. But the Citizens’ Advice Bureau warned (last month) that the number of people running into debt through payday loans has quadrupled in two years. And with a recent survey finding that 45% of those questioned are struggling to make it to pay-day, and with this figure rising to 62% of 24-44 year olds Choler foresees more and more people falling into the jaws of loan sharks in the coming years.

UK Economic News.

Against the news that both industrial and manufacturing output fell by 0.7% in October, we note that England’s 353 councils are planning on more job cuts - in addition to the 145,000 already lost in the last year. With another 440 civilian Ministry of Defence jobs to go in England, and in Edinburgh, as part of the projected 42,000 MoD civilian and armed forces jobs to be cut by 2015. And just in case you thought that the economy might possibly pick up at some point, the Telegraph reports that industry body the EEF and business advisers BDO have slashed their forecasts for 2012 manufacturing growth from 2.2% down to 0.9%.

And what are our Glorious Leaders planning to do about such news? Well, there’s always the old Tory stand-by of attacking the weakest in society, whilst at the same time rewarding the wealthiest. The Institute for Fiscal Studies has characterised Osborne’s new tax and benefit measures as, ‘on average, a takeaway from lower-income families with children, and giveaway to middle and top of income distribution’. And The Green Benches blog has shown that ConDem Nation’s own Office of Budget Responsibility’s statistical tables demonstrate that the amount of taxes raised from consumers and workers in the form of income tax, National Insurance and VAT is set to grow by 3.1% this parliament. Whilst the amount of taxes raised from business through Corporation Tax, Business Rates & Oil and Gas is set to fall by a hefty 9.4% this parliament.

Anyone would think that Cameron and Osborne are laughing at us.

[In Part 2 our heroes turn more young people out on the street, and then kick some cancer patients.]

noun: anger, wrath, ire.