Armfield [arm-field] : To regress into a monochrome soot-covered world of pipe and slippers.
Arshavin [arse-shaven] : 1. A one-season wonder. 2. Great in a tournament, but found out in a league.
Barton [barr-tunn] : 1. To have a criminal record. 2. To profit from your thug image.
Beckham [bek-cam] : Holding on to the pipedream that at the age of 37 and playing in a pub standard league – that you’ll still got a chance of playing for England again.
Bent [ben-tuh] : 1. To be consistently inconsistent whilst pointing in a curved direction. 2. See Redknapp (senior).
Carroll [carr-oll]: 1. To warm a seat every Saturday afternoon. 2. To drink socially.
Delap [dee-larp] : Using a towel excessively. The flick the arse of a fellow player with the towel in the changing room after a match.
Drogba [drog-baa] : Tripping over one’s own bottom lip.
Gerrard [jer-hard] : 1. Thinking that the team can’t win without you. 2. Leaving your mark at a disco.
Hargreaves [Aarg-reaves] : A traditional Germanic paean to never-say-die stoicism in the face of squeeky plastic joints.
Hoddle [hod-dull] : To sit on a swivel chair with legs akimbo whilst talking utter bollocks.
Hodgson [hodge-son] : To remain a respected figure whilst in possession of a dry quiff and an inability to roll one’s ‘r’s.
Lampard [lamb-parr]: 1. Ring and badge kissing whilst pointing towards the sky. 2. To have the turning circle of the Titanic.
O'Neill [oh-nee-eel] : 1. Having a hatred of the fax machine and associating it with losing players. 2. Blaming old technology for club failings.
Owen [oh-uhn] : 1. To be mocked mercilessly by @piersmorgan.
2. To send a brochure touting your value. (See also: HenryWinter)
McClaren [muck-clarr-en] : 1. Having a taxi constantly on standby. 2. To be the cause of the slump in golf umbrella sales.
Moyes [mo-oi-ease] : To manage beyond your means. To keep a club afloat when they should have been relegated two seasons ago.
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Neville [Nev-ill] : 1. To secure a job in punditry on the strength of connections alone. 2. The Mancunian pop-art of fraternal neanderthal mediocrity. (See also Gallacher)
Pulis [poo-leys] : 1. Not having any geographical sense. 2. To prepare a large amount of sandwiches for an Europa League away trip.
Redknapp (senior) [Hurry-up-Harry] : 1. A footballing version of Del Boy. 2. To be promised the England job even with the shady dealings.
Reid [reeed] : 1. Never cheer up.
2. To chase back helplessly. (See also Fenwick and Hodge)
Shearer [she-rurr] : 1. Owning a jumper that is brighter than your opinions. 2.Put in temp charge without any management experience.
Shevchenko [chev-chenk-oh] : To be the owner's 30 million pond pet. 2. Paying top dollar and getting a Reliant Robin in return (see also Carroll, Torres)
Torres [tor-rez] : 1. Regretting what you originally perceived as a clever move. 2. To have buyer's remorse.
Walcott [wawl-kuht,-kot] : To spray a shot at a spectator when aiming for goal. Also known as a Gordon. || "Wilson walcotted that."
Warnock: [war-knock] : 1. To use a never ending stream of expletives. 2. Cursing of the opposition due to failed tactics.
Webb [we-buh] : 1. To show favour to the home side. 2. Manchester United's twelfth man.
Wenger [veng-gurr] : 1.To have a mild tantrum. 2. The action of throwing a water bottle. || "He's Wengered the water..."
Wilkins [wilk-ins] : To coo softly like a freshly shaven bush baby.
Woodgate [would-gayte] : An inanimate gate made of wood.
Zamora [zam-or-a] : To be constantly hit by the ball when watching a Fulham match from the very top row of the stand.
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