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2011
Posted in: The 2010s Christmas Logs
“Everything you could want for Christmas Night”
Over the past few years it’s been fairly easy to predict the ITV1 schedules for Christmas. The lack of advertising revenue on the day itself, as well as the Beeb’s traditional dominance, tends to lead to a fairly bog-standard line-up of faintly festive but otherwise unspectacular programming. Sure, the two big soaps get hour-long specials, but they’re usually accompanied by some repeated family movies, a drama that’s not quite from the top drawer and some workaday light entertainment – the likes of Stars In Their Eyes or Mr and Mrs – left to wither against rampant BBC opposition. The channel always came a distant second in the ratings but with more pressing priorities elsewhere in the year, ITV1 have never really been interested in offering anything other than token opposition on Christmas Day.
There have been occasional exceptions, though – most obviously the much trumpeted poaching of Eric and Ern in 1978, but also the much-hyped premiere of Raiders of the Lost Ark in 1984 and the bumper helping of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire at the height of its powers in 1999. Now in 2011, another A-list show was deployed as a spoiler against the offerings from Television Centre – a special edition of Downton Abbey. The period drama had enjoyed enormous ratings during the autumn, as well as huge critical acclaim, and it was obvious that a Christmas special would be a major attraction on the day itself. A shamelessly festive affair, the two-hour show was probably the toughest competition the Beeb had faced for a decade or more. In fact, it was more likely that ITV could have enjoyed higher ratings (and, all the better for their bank balance, advertising revenue) had they shown it another night, but its spot in the primest of prime slots also served as an indication that ITV were taking Christmas Day seriously this time.
The rest of the day on ITV1 was fairly solid. As usual much of the daytime as devoted to films, though at least there were some different titles to the familiar fare in the shape of March Of The Penguins, Miracle on 34th Street and Aladdin, although Happy Feet found itself in the post-Queen slot for the second time in three years. The monarch’s message this year, incidentally, was the first to produced by Sky News and this, presumably, explains why it earned a screening on Sky1 for the first time in a while.
ITV1 then went into the evening in familiar though robust fashion with You’ve Been Framed and then Emmerdale at 6pm. One change this year was that the familiar double-helping of soap was split into two, with All Star Family Fortunes slotted in at 7pm before Coronation Street. This actually turned out to be a fairly inspired move by the channel, as the evergreen quiz’s ratings increased hugely on its performance last year when it went out at 8pm, presumably helped by its hammocking between two big shows, and the earlier slot where viewers are after something undemanding as accompaniment to the turkey sandwiches, rather than later in the evening when you want something more substantial. After 11pm, ITV1 wound down with a repeat of Benidorm from a previous festive season, but overall this had been a solid Christmas Day, with a well-chosen big event and some schedule tinkering ensuring a more appealing line-up than we’d seen in previous years.
So whereas in previous years when BBC1 only had to turn up to ensure victory, how did they fare against a renewed threat? To begin with, as Christmas fell on a Sunday, there was a slightly larger amount of religion than is often the case, starting at 9am with a retelling of The Nativity, first shown during Christmas 2010, leading up to the traditional service, this year from Lichfield Cathedral, then a special Songs of Praise from the Royal Albert Hall. Suitably spiritually enriched, viewers were then able to let their hair down with Morecambe and Wise, a repeat of the film Kung Fu Panda and Top of the Pops, a line-up made all the more impressive by the non-appearance of any of the Santa Clause films.
After The Queen, unsurprisingly animated films abounded, as is BBC1′s wont, with Monsters vs Aliens and Ratatouille receiving their network TV premieres, both of which made for amiable viewing but neither were quite out of the top drawer. Then at 6.30pm was The Gruffalo’s Child, a sequel to the successful animation shown two Christmasses ago.
One notable omission from the BBC’s schedules this year was The Royle Family, which it was rumoured had been planned, but had to be aborted as Caroline Aherne and Craig Cash failed to complete a script in time. Whether there was any truth in this or not, this was the first Christmas Day since 2007 when there was only one Royal in BBC1′s schedules, back at 3pm. To fill the gap, the next three shows all appeared an hour later than the previous year, with Doctor Who at 7pm, Strictly Come Dancing at 8pm and an hour-long EastEnders at 9pm.
Perhaps oddly, despite the more favourable slot (and the seemingly weak ITV opposition), Doctor Who‘s ratings were actually lower than 12 months previously, and the same was also the case with Strictly, with the show losing out to Coronation Street in their annual festive face-off. As with last year, Strictly‘s festive edition featured a host of new celebrities taking to the floor, although it’s perhaps questionable as to the value of this format given Simon Webbe and Barry McGuigan hardly seemed any more exciting than the stars who had been appearing week in week out for the past three months. Perhaps we’ll see the Champion of Champions trophy dusted off again for next year’s Christmas Day outing.
At 9pm came the major battle as EastEnders slugged it out against Downton Abbey – and the spoils initially went to Albert Square, with the overnight ratings showing the soap was watched by 9.9 million viewers, the biggest audience of the day, while 8.6 million people opted for the commercial channel. This wasn’t Downton‘s biggest audience by any means but the win for EastEnders isn’t perhaps a huge surprise given its long-established status as Christmas Day’s top soap, and it’s highly likely many would have chosen to record the timeless Downton rather than ‘Enders (with the next episode 24 hours later). This did mean it was the first Christmas Day ever where no programme won over 10 million viewers in the overnights, although this was clearly down to greater competition than general dissatisfaction, given Downton enjoyed more than double the audience Poirot did in the same slot last year. In addition, Downton ended up being named as the top show when official ratings (including recordings) were taken into account, though EastEnders was the most watched show on the day itself.
ITV1 did take the lead during Downton‘s second hour while BBC1 did manage to rustle up some new comedy. At 10pm came the first new episode of Absolutely Fabulous since 2004. This was a series that had perhaps been more appealing to the media and the people it was parodying than the general public at large, but the new episodes – two more of which were to follow in the New Year – enjoyed good reviews and pulled in a creditable 7.4 million viewers. Then at 10.30pm came a special episode of Michael McIntyre’s Comedy Roadshow. This seemed to hark back to the episodes of They Think It’s All Over in the late 1990s in terms of their unfestive nature, though McIntyre had tried hard and interspersed the stand-up with sketches featuring familiar BBC1 comedy faces – including Miranda Hart and James Corden – and music to create more of a Christmas Night With The Stars feel. An entertaining show that worked pretty well for late night chilling out, it managed to get over six million people watching after 11pm – highly impressive, especially given BBC1 virtually called it a day at 10.30pm last year. This Yule, repeats of Have I Got News For You and Graham Norton from a few days earlier, plus a comedy film, were the post-news fillers.
One surprising entrant into the Christmas ratings war  was Channel 4, who oddly appeared to abandon the traditional self-consciously “alternative” programming of previous years in favour of light entertainment. Gordon Ramsay filled a whole four hours of the schedules from 10am inviting viewers to cook their Christmas dinner along with him, while an afternoon of Come Dine With Me and Deal Or No Deal was followed by the family films Big and Ice Age 3, then at 9pm a festive special for Alan Carr. It’s hard to see how, given the competition, this could do much better than the religion, ballet and opera that used to be a staple of C4 on Christmas Day.
BBC2 followed a more familiar path with its Yuletide centrepiece a special show featuring Darcey Bussell re-enacting her favourite dances from Hollywood musicals. Classic comedy was also on the agenda with Dad’s Army (controversially at teatime, not the 8pm slot it had filled for the last few years), Porridge and Blackadder, a series that now seems to be confined purely to Christmas Day. Battling against the big guns at 9pm with The Toys That Made Christmas, a wry look at festive fads and fashions of the past. Channel 5 were their familiar threadbare selves with a stack of TV movies and a three-hour countdown of Britain’s Favourite Christmas Songs.
It was certainly a happier Christmas for ITV1 in 2011, which illustrates how the presence of a genuinely big show in the schedules can brighten up the whole day. This increased competition, and the lack of anything really spectacular, made it a slightly disappointing day for BBC1, though it continued to enjoy the lion’s share of the audience and put together another remarkably consistent line-up. It also proves that, yet again, Christmas remains one of the most important days in the telly calendar.
![A sneak preview of the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony A sneak preview of the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/snowglobe-48x48.jpg)
TV Cream’s predictions for 2012: which do you think will come true?
Posted in: Cream over Britain
Time for a shake of the office snow globe.
Will the patterns of the swirling flakes surrender any information as to the big media stories of the next 12 months?
By goodness, no fewer than 15 eventualities have suggested themselves.
But which is most likely to come to pass?
You can pick up to five. We’ll close the poll when the result is one that we like.
Vote early and often!
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![Thursday Thursday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/thursday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Celebrity Mastermind
19.00, BBC1
Appearances by Andrew Collins have been regrettably rare in Creamguide in recent years, as for a time he was in it every week. He’s back in it to mark his appearance on this show, of course, and those who are familiar with his work won’t be surprised he’s taking disaster movies as his specialist subject. Also on tonight is Sandie Show on Buddhism.
![Wednesday Wednesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/wednesday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Smoking Years
21.00, BBC4
“Sorry Bob, I didn’t catch the beginning of that, you had your pipe in your mouth!” This sounds great fun. We miss the smoking areas in restaurants and on planes, not because we smoked, but because we liked specifically electing not to use them and looking healthy. Of course in the past everyone smoked, especially during wartime because Hitler didn’t like it, and also on telly well into the seventies and we love seeing clips from TV shows where everyone’s having a drag, and we don’t doubt there’ll be some hilarious clips in this look at the rise and fall of the fag in society.
![Tuesday Tuesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/tuesday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Celebrity Mastermind
19.00, BBC1
We love how this series goes on for long after Christmas, because most of us will be going back to work today but we’ll be cheered up when we get home because instead of The One Show we have a little bit of festive fun in its place. A good line-up today, too, including Jessica Hynes on Pam Ayres and Neil Hannon on Frasier, as well as Michel Roux Jr and the traditional appearance of one of John’s newsroom colleagues in Jon Sopel.
![Monday Monday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/monday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Channel Four Mash Up
18.30, Channel 4
Channel Four are spending far too much time messing around with gimmicks, one-offs and light entertainment you could see on a million other channels (tonight starting another stripped game show that could be on ITV) and if anything sums up the state of the channel at the moment it’s this one-joke idea filling up three and a half hours of primetime. The gag is various people from C4 shows doing other C4 shows, and one of the shows is the cast of Made In Chelsea on Come Dine With Me, which they could do any week of the year. Other bits include Jon Snow at River Cottage, Alan Carr on Location Location Location and the 8 Out Of 10 Cats panellists on Countdown, all of which might be amusing for five minutes for Comic Relief, but probably not for a whole evening. Creative renewal, there.
![Sunday Sunday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sunday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
An Audience With Dame Edna
20.00, Channel 5
This is officially the very first Audience With, from 1980, and led to, as the Guinness Book of Classic British TV so eloquently put it, “several rubbish Dame Edna specials”, though we don’t think this one has been on the telly for years, so it’ll be worth a look, and even if Barry Humphries is phoning it in, we’ve still got the audience to coo over, including the tantalising likes of Hazel O’Connor, John Conteh and Ted Moult. It’s better than carbon dating!
![Saturday Saturday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/saturday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
It’ll Be Alright on the Night 2
21.00, ITV1
No, it’s not 1979 again, because like Doctor Who (it’s exactly like that), the numbering has started from scratch again. The first of these the other night was entertaining enough, helped out by a decent number of clips from Blue Peter, albeit they won’t have been new to any regular viewers. What was great, though, was that the clip with a “dead” Liz corpsing was included within a set of clips of dramas, alongside proper programmes like Doc Martin. Those historicals really were impressive.
![Friday Friday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/friday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Ladykillers
15.20, Film4
Creamguide (Films) was lucky enough to see Graham Linehan’s mega-fab stage remount of this earlier in the year – made all the more enjoyable by realising that one of the cast was the ‘…cause of great saaaaad-nessssss to us all!’ bloke from the old Harry Hill show – and while we wait for the hopefully inevitable DVD (though there’s still no sign of Ghost Stories), here’s a chance to enjoy the original. The proper original original. As for that Coen Brothers remake, it’s worth pointing out that one of the Creamguide compilers is a massive fan of the Coens and has seen everything they’ve done, including the one with Catherine Zeta Jones in, but is genuinely unable to remember if he’s actually seen their version or not. Still, at least nobody’s got their remaking fingers on Twisted Nerve yet.
![Friday Friday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/friday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe
22.30, BBC4
Back on BBC4 after its shift to BBC2 last year, this is now the only time of the year we get the classic ‘wipe format back on the box, albeit he was doing very similar stuff on the perennially disappointing Ten O’Clock Live for some of the year (it’s coming back, and the first change they can make is to stop worrying we can’t concentrate for more than two minutes and not cut every item off just as it’s getting interesting). Few can do this kind of thing with as much wit and charm as Charlton, in any case, so we’re always pleased to take another visit to his flat.
![Thursday Thursday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/thursday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Celebrity Mastermind
18.30, BBC1
It’s always great to see this series back, not least because with ten shows it carries on well into January so it still feels like Christmas for longer, and also because the questions are easier so it makes us feel clever (especially when it’s at a time of the year we’re more likely to be watching it with other people). Obviously having to find forty celebrities for this series means some are less famous than others, hence why Chris Packham is the most famous one here and we’ve had to Google the rest of them. Still, we’re not watching it for the A-listers, and it’s bound to be loads of fun regardless.
![Thursday Thursday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/thursday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Ipcress File
12.05, BBC2
You know how we like our Cold War spies battling big supercomputers with red lightbulbs in a cage on them around here, and they don’t come much better, nor indeed much more Portishead-sampled, than this debut outing for Michael Caine’s espionage expert Harry Palmer, who investigates the brainwashing of UK scientists whilst making tea, thereby unwittingly providing the template for the entire Jon P’twee era of Doctor Who, only with the Silurians standing in for the ‘Russians’. This is the one you really don’t want to miss today.
![Wednesday Wednesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/wednesday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Sweeney Todd – The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
21.00, Film4
It isn’t really in Creamguide (Films)’ remit to ‘big up’ more recent cinematic offerings, especially as the vast majority have horrible compressed sound and that annoying colour scheme that make them look like they were all shot on that weird blue-ish film stock they used to use for Public Information Films only with the contrast and brightness both turned right the way up (and less Patrick Mower voiceovers), but here’s one that both looks and sounds like it hails from a much more aesthetically satisfying timeframe and is well worth checking out. Tim Burton takes the chair with his name stencilled on the back for this sixties Brit-horror pastiching (there’s even a bit of Carry On Screaming in there) adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s stage musical based on the life and crimes of London’s most macabre hair-clipper, with Johnny Depp in the title role doing his best impersonation of David Bowie singing The Gospel According To Tony Day (and speaking of early Bowie, check out the recent DVD release of Anthony Newley’s deconstructionist sitcom The Strange World Of Gurney Slade, which more than lives up to the promise of its title). That said, no adaptation of the Sweeney Todd legend could ever be as unintentionally terrifying as the Two Ronnies”Teeny Todd’.
![Wednesday Wednesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/wednesday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Sir Jimmy Savile at the BBC – How’s About That Then?
19.00, BBC2
Well this sounds fascinating, as it’s delving into the archives to bring out all kinds of stuff, including long-forgotten Saturday teatime miscellany Clunk Click, and, we hope, a bit of Quiz Bingo (“Aberdeen are assisted by cheeky Chris! How about that! And Glasgow Royal Infirmary are helped by Heather! Hnuuugh!”). Then at half eleven is his obit from the other week which, like the man himself, is intriguing and eccentric, and is worth it for Nicky Campbell’s brilliant impression of him (“That is like right good!”). If only he’d done that as a career and not his awful radio shows.
![Tuesday Tuesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/tuesday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
I Walked With A Zombie
01.30, BBC2
RKO-shotputted Film Noir-hued attempt at ‘doing’ voodoo for the Brief Encounter demographic – you can keep your Walking Dead, pal – which would easily win CREAMGUIDE (FILMS) FILM OF THE WEEK for that reason alone, yet also comes accompanied by the hilarious tale of a hapless TVC staffer once excitedly setting the timer for an overnight showing in the mistaken belief that it was one of them there Video Nasties.
![Tuesday Tuesday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/tuesday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Royal Institution Christmas Lectures
20.00, BBC4
Another festive staple that has bounced around the channels in recent years, we reckon it’s found the right home here, its mix of brain-bending fun feeling just right on BBC4, until Delivering Quality First messes the whole channel up completely. Enjoy it while you can, today, tomorrow and Thursday.
![Monday Monday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/monday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
The Morecambe and Wise Christmas Show
12.55, BBC1
Finally here’s some unexpurgated Eric and Ern, off of 1976, the one with the Sweeney and Angela Rippon, and also one we don’t think was written by Eddie Braben, which begs the question as to why they flopped so badly when he wasn’t there on ITV. Clearly it was the rest of the production working in such harmony, as we’ll see again here.
![Monday Monday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/monday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Dirty Dancing
22.00, Channel 5
Surprisingly, despite its Cream-era ubiquity soundtrack-led ubquity (doubly so if you have sisters), it seems that we’ve never actually billed Patrick Swizzle’s finest filmic hour before now. Though there was once a bit of mailout excitement about George And The Dragon, a 2004 film which paired Swayze with none other than Bill Treacher, a combo which “we can only hope led to discussions on the relative choreographical problems of dancing with Jennifer Gray in a lift and thrusting bananas off the sideboard in one’s pyjamas and dressing gown”. Anyway, Dirty Dancing is quite fun if you’re in the mood for mindless nostalgo-romantic choreographed chicanery, and (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life is pretty good as these sort of film themes go, especially the bit where it sort of goes into You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’. Did Bill Medley own a copy of Neil’s Heavy Concept Album then?
![Sunday Sunday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sunday-48x48.png)
PICK OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
Doctor Who
19.00, BBC1
We’re thrilled to see this moved back in the schedules compared to recent years because it means it won’t clash with Mince Pie Time much at all. Anyway, here’s the big news from our spy at the screening – this year’s episode is the best Dr Who Christmas Special since Dr Who and The Satsuma. Sure, as per recent efforts there’s no proper monster, but otherwise The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe (we would have gone with Na-na-Narnia, Na- na-Narnia, Wahey, Goodbye) is perfect fare for today. It looks pretty, it’s quite soppy, there’s a needless reference to a Peter Davidson adventure in there, plus Dr Who Matt Smith and gang arsing around in a time-travelling snow globe. Enough, in short, to stop viewers nipping off for a mini pizza or a slice of orange cheese.
![Sunday Sunday](http://web.archive.org./web/20120105080107im_/http://www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/sunday-48x48.png)
FILM OF THE DAY
Posted in: From CREAMGUIDE...
El Cid
19.00, BBC4
Big screen adaptation of Costa cop drama pitting Tony Haygarth against terrorists intending to blow up Granada TV headquarters with drums of olive oil which he foils by waving his walking stick at them and looking out of breath and sweaty before he goes back to his boat. Oh no wait, it’s Charlton ‘Wigg’ Heston. As you were.