Lessons Learned from the Gelato Mio Sign

Posted on November 21, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Despite most of the food and drink establishments in Springfield, Missouri being grateful for our business during Skepticon IV, the owners at Gelato Mio made it very clear — at least temporarily — that they wanted nothing to do with us:

Skepticon is NOT welcomed to my Christian Business

They have since apologized. More on that in a moment.

Now that the craziness has died down, let’s recap some of the lessons to take away from all this:

  1. Even when they write things out by hand, Christians love turning on the CAPS LOCK key…

  2. The company’s Yelp page took a huge hit — it’s rating is now at 1.5 out of 5 stars — as did it’s Urbanspoon approval (currently at 11%). I heard that at one point yesterday, the “favorite menu item” was listed as “bigotry” (Best served cold?) but I no longer see that up there. I don’t think it’s fair to change their “menu” or say anything that’s untrue, but it’s perfectly fine to explain how you were treated by the owners. Let future customers know about it.

    Moral of the story: when you discriminate against your customers in a despicable way, there are powerful ways to fight back.

    Forget boycotting the store. We’ll kick you right in the Google rankings.

  3. The apology — after it had gone through an iteration or two and it removed a reference to an unnamed isolated “incident” — seems genuine, but the image had already gone viral on Reddit and it was too little too late:

    RE Letter in the Window:

    To the Public: I sincerely apologize for the posting of the note in the window. It was an impulse reaction to an event that I witnessed and it was only up for a few minutes before I came to my senses and realized it shouldn’t have been up at all.

    So you know, nobody was turned away and everyone was given the same high level of service they have come to expect. Out of the hundreds of event attendees that I served on Friday and Saturday, all of them were extremely polite and enjoyed their time in my restaurant. The event that greatly offended me was conducted by one man and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.

    Even small business owners make mistakes, and I sincerely apologize to those whom I offended.

    All the Best,

    Andy-

    There’s a little more detail on their Facebook page:

    I have offered the owner a chance to offer a better apology — one that doesn’t sound like a PR person crafted it — on this site. He said he would think about it, but as of this moment, I haven’t heard back. If he responds, I’ll post something separately.

  4. Establishments that welcomed the 1000+ people who attended Skepticon regardless of what they thought about our beliefs, such as Farmers Gastropub, were rewarded. Just check out this (unverified) tweet:

    It’s to a business’s peril to pre-exclude a huge number of customers on the basis of religion. This has nothing to do with atheism. It’s just bad business, period.

  5. This incident shows what we can do when we band together. It took one person to snap the picture and share it online. As soon as Skepticon attendees and Reddit users heard about the story, BOOM. The resolution was swift, the sign was down in minutes, and the apology was soon up on their website.

  6. Never get between atheists and our gelato. Nothing good will ever come of it.

Think of how much discrimination we could stop if we took this kind of approach every time.

Posted in General | 4 Comments

Ask Richard: Atheist Conflicted About Family’s Prayer at Holiday Meals

Posted on November 21, 2011 by richard wade

Dear Richard,

I’m not sure how to start my letter but I suppose a little background might help. My parents are Pentecostals and they tried to raise me as such. I’m one of three siblings and all three of us ended up in the Baptist church by the time we were in high school. You see, I live in Florida and the Baptist church is VERY prevalent here. We were all extremely devout (read brainwashed). I ended up in the Plymouth Brethren Church (a small sect which Dawkins described as particularly odious in his book The God Delusion). About three years ago I started having doubts which led me to leave the faith altogether. I’ve always had a love of science and logic, and it was only a matter of time before I educated myself through books by Carl Sagan and realized that there was no evidence for god’s existence and became an atheist.

Well now I’ll get to the point. The first Christmas after my deconversion I was still closeted. It was always my job to lead a prayer before the meal at big family events (I have a knack for speaking and people always enjoyed my prayers). That year I got away with not praying (I don’t remember how). That Easter, however, I wasn’t so lucky. After my family realized that I left all the god and Jesus stuff out of my prayer I was busted, so I came clean with them. Last year on Christmas I didn’t lead the prayer (now that I am an atheist that is, thankfully, no longer my job. However my mom still asked me to set up the nativity and decorate the tree). However, my brother reached over to take my hand. They had all assumed that I would still hold hands and quietly bow my head. I told my brother that I don’t pray any more, and his response was “Its just a hand, it won’t kill you.” Not wanting to cause a problem in the middle of Christmas I just took his hand. However, I feel as though I compromised my principles.

Now that Christmas is coming up again I want to tell everyone ahead of time that I’m not participating in the prayer. I’m not sure how I should do this. My family reacts with extreme negativity anytime I even mention the A word. I just want them to realize that I’m not just trying to be difficult or disrespectful. I simply have no interest in participating in the practices of a religion I don’t practice.

Sincerely,
Former Thumper

Dear Former,

For several years I have been faced with a similar situation at holiday family feasts. If my brother, who is a Christian, is present, he leads the family in a short prayer at the dining table. We all hold hands, but when everyone bows their heads, my daughter and I do not. She and I quietly look straight ahead until the brief ritual is over.

This is because gestures and rituals have different meanings and significance for different people. For my daughter and me, holding hands only signifies being part of and supporting the family, but bowing our heads would mean that we’re participating in the prayer. So we participate in the part of the custom with which we agree, family togetherness, and we refrain from the part with which we do not agree, the invocation of a deity. For us, our principles have not been compromised. No one else seems to pay any attention. Besides, the rest of them are all bowing their heads so they can’t see. In my family no one, including my brother, is very strongly religious, so the situation is pretty easy for us.

However for other people who have arrived at their emancipation through a painful struggle, and who have suffered conflicts with loved ones, customs such as holding hands, bowing heads, setting up nativity scenes or decorating a tree might hold much more emotional power, and so they don’t want to do anything that others might think is giving in or returning to the religion they escaped.

But worrying about what others might think is another thing that is wonderful to escape. What is important in matters like this is what you think.

For instance, when your brother urged you to hold hands at the table, in his mind that might have meant that you would be capitulating to the religious ritual, or it might have only meant that you still have a place in the family. Whatever he thinks does not make reality for you. If it’s not capitulation to you, then it’s not capitulation at all. You’re not sure what’s in his mind, and it could take quite a lot of effort to find out. Being overly concerned about what is in other people’s minds can drive you out of your own mind.

You can decide for yourself what any part of a family custom means, and participate or refrain accordingly. I think what you should do is to sort out what each gesture in your family rituals means to you, regardless of what others might assume it means to you, or what they might assume it means in general. You can by your own volition change your mind about the meaning of each of those things, because you are looking at them from your new point of view.

So if to you, holding hands while others pray only signifies being part of the family, and you’re comfortable expressing that, then hold hands. If to you it means that you’re participating in the prayer, then don’t hold hands. You can tell them ahead of time that you’re just not comfortable doing that. Further explanation is not necessary. The same thing goes for bowing your head, or any other gesture, ritual or task.

Once in a while at Christmas, my mother asks me to help set up a little nativity scene she has more for traditional reasons than religious reasons. I do it because her hands are arthritic, and it’s difficult for her. They’re just little figurines with no significance to me, and so I’m unconcerned about what others might think if they see me doing that.

Religious places and ceremonies no longer hold any magic for you, so in time they can lose their emotional charge if you let it go. Then you can choose to do or not do them with ease. Your principles are not compromised by such trifles. Your principles are about treating people with compassion, respect, truthfulness, fairness, generosity, and love.

Despite the tension and negativity that your family has experienced around your atheism, you are still gathering as a family. That is precious, and sadly not as common as it should be. Cherish that, and nurture that. Make your boundaries clear where you must, and avoid discussing some topics if you must, but the main thing is to continue to focus on the love that is there.

I hope that you enjoy your family during the coming holidays. Remember that to “enjoy” something means to put joy into it, rather than to get joy out of it.

Richard

You may send your questions for Richard to AskRichard. Please keep your letters concise. They may be edited. There is a very large number of letters. I am sorry if I am unable to respond in a timely manner.

Posted in Advice, Coming Out, General, Richard Wade | 20 Comments

Here’s to an Awkward Thanksgiving

Posted on November 21, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) has a wonderful suggestion for what you can do during Thanksgiving dinner:

The fact is, while you’re scarfing down mashed potatoes and staying silent while everyone else at the table is freely speaking their minds, you’re missing a golden opportunity to make real, honest progress by talking about your life, and the things you care about. It’s okay if Aunt Betty feels a little awkward at first, it’s important for her to know that someone she loves cares deeply about LGBT equality. And the more we all talk about what’s important to us, the less awkward those conversations will become.

Speaking openly and honestly about your life with your loved ones is one of the best ways for all of us to move forward together.

Obviously, they’re talking to people in the LGBT community (and their allies). But I don’t see why we can’t have the same discussion when it comes to religion.

This Thursday, let your relatives know that you don’t believe in god. Let them get used to the idea that they love someone who doesn’t subscribe to the family faith.

Thanksgiving dinner is awkward, anyway. Might as well make the most of it, right? :)

(via Joe. My. God.)

Posted in General, GLBT | 14 Comments

QEDcon Takes Place in Manchester This March

Posted on November 20, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

For those of you living in (or wanting to visit) Manchester, UK, here’s a conference you’ll want to attend:

QED is a two-day science and skepticism conference taking place in the Piccadilly Hotel, Manchester on the 10th-11th March 2012.

Fantastic speakers from the worlds of science and entertainment will be joining us for a weekend celebration of science, reason and critical thinking.

They have a nice lineup of speakers, too.

If anyone has a spare overseas plane ticket lying around, I’d be happy to take it off your hands…

Posted in General | 6 Comments

Support Songs for Nonbelievers

Posted on November 20, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Cynthia Carle is a singer/songwriter who’s working on an album called Songs For Nonbelievers. (The title is pretty self-explanatory.)

Cynthia needs some help, though, so she’s raising funds on Kickstarter.

Need some motivation to donate? Listen to the lyrics in one of the album’s first tracks, “Sunday in Reality”:

She has no invisible means of support so if you think her project is worthwhile, pitch in a few bucks! We could always use more atheist musicians :)

Posted in Fine Arts, General | 7 Comments

A Secular Wedding Ceremony from Start to Finish

Posted on November 20, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Reader Dennis and his wife Holly got married in July. The ceremony was secular — and from what you’re about to see, everything about it was awesome :)

You want to see how a non-religious wedding works from start to finish? Keep reading.

First, Dennis explains their story:

A longtime friend of mine performed our ceremony while his wife was our maid of honor. The two of them helped to write and personalize our ceremony; one that we were very pleased with. Even the most religious people at the wedding commented that the ceremony was very appropriate and no one complained that it didn’t include god.

The story of how I met my wife involved one of our college text books, Linear Algebra, and so for his prop our officiant used that book while he conducted the ceremony. He explained why this book was important to us, his reason for using it, and even that wasn’t seen as a wedding faux pas.

My favorite part of the ceremony (aside from my beautiful bride) was that our wedding party was introduced using orchestral music from The Legend of Zelda and Final Fantasy. Those that recognized the music thought it was awesome and those that didn’t recognize it thought it was very nice instrumentals for a wedding.

There was only one hang up about our wedding. Getting it legalized was a nightmare. While I’ve been a militant atheist for years my wife typically described herself as agnostic. After seeing the discrimination that we faced in nearly every aspect of putting our wedding together she has become much more vocal about our atheism.

Finding a legal officiant was by far the hardest part. A self-uniting marriage was out; our county no longer does them and we didn’t have the money or time for any sort of legal action. There have also been several cases in our state of weddings performed by internet ordained priests being considered invalid. While we doubt this would have become a problem the cases where we did foresee it becoming a problem would have been horrendous (an insurance settlement after an untimely death or such). We considered just getting married at the courthouse the day before and would have settled for that option; but it just seemed unfair and we wanted to find a way to make our ceremony legal.

The most disheartening part of our search was when we turned to the local mayors. In our area mayors perform many wedding ceremonies and seemed like a nice secular option. The mayors we contacted were uncomfortable performing a non-religious ceremony. The pre-planned ceremonies that they typically used all included religion. We finally found a mayor who was willing to work with us, albeit uncomfortably, but he bailed on us 3 days before the ceremony!

In a display of real compassion my mothers pastor saved the day. He agreed to let my friend perform the ceremony an afterwords to do a secular pronouncement and sign our marriage certificate. He did read 1 Corinthians 13:1-7; but this particular verse doesn’t mention god or faith so we felt it was pretty fair.

I would offer this to anyone who is even considering having a secular or non-traditional wedding. Do it and stick to your guns. We faced an uphill battle to have our wedding; I almost came to blows with her dad. But in the end everyone (even her dad) agrees that we had a beautiful ceremony. Most importantly we can remember our wedding day with no regrets.

Second, Dennis was kind enough to provide the transcript of their entire ceremony. If you’re planning a wedding in the future, this would be a great template to use :)

Opening Words

Welcome friends, families, and honored guests. We are here to celebrate love. Love organizes our large and sometimes unpredictable world. It is that which enshrines and ennobles our human experience. It is the basis for the peace of family, and the peace of the peoples of the earth. The greatest gift bestowed upon humans is the gift of love freely given between two persons.

Officiant’s Welcome

All of you are present today because you, in one way or another, have been part of Holly’s or Dennis’s life. On behalf of the bride and groom, a hearty welcome to all. Today we witness a marriage that began with a math book. Dennis asked Holly if he could borrow this book I am holding in my hands. Holly suggested that they meet and complete their math homework together. And from that beginning in a math classroom, their love has grown exponentially and reached toward the infinite. Innumerable factors have joined them together, adding to both of their lives to create something greater than that which existed before. And now, today Dennis and Holly become a set that is natural, sometimes complex, and occasionally irrational, but always real.

Officiant’s Address

In marriage, two people turn to each other in search of a greater fulfillment than either can achieve alone. Marriage is a bold step, taken together, into an unknown future. It is risking who we are for the sake of who we can be. Only in giving of ourselves fully, and sharing our lives with another, can the mysterious process of growth take place. Only in loyalty and devotion bestowed upon another can that which is eternal in life emerge and be known. Two among us, who have stood apart, come together now, to declare their love and to be united in marriage.

The words we say today have no magic or prophetic powers. The power of the wedding vows is merely a reflection of a reality that already exists in the hearts and minds of these two people. Holly and Dennis, nothing I can say, or nothing you can say to each other, will ensure a long and happy, satisfying and committed marriage. Only your love for one another, and your integrity to make your commitment real, can do that. I humbly offer the words of author William A. Peterson in “The Art of Marriage,” who I believe has captured in words, the essence, of that commitment. I hope you will keep his words upon your heart, and refer to them again.

The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other
not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo
or the wife to have the wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding, and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere
in which each can grow.

It is not only marrying the right partner,
it is BEING the right partner.
This is “The Art of Marriage”.

Reading #1

Marriage is a Promise of Love
by Edmund O’Neill

Marriage is a commitment to live — to the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth no other human relationship can equal, a physical and emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships. A wife and husband are each other’s best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger; even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly. Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life. When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Poem

At this time, Dennis and Holly have chosen to read a poem to each other. This is “Love” by Roy Croft.

Holly:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

Dennis:

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

Holly:

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

Dennis:

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

Holly:

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
To make me happy.

Dennis:

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.

Parent and Community Blessing

People have been united in marriage in all lands and all cultures. In marriages everywhere, two individuals leave the families that raised them, to begin a new family. At this time, we ask the parents of the Bride and Groom to stand to bless this marriage.

Do you, [Parents of the Bride and Groom] who have lovingly raised and nurtured these two individuals, offer your blessing for their marriage, promising to support them, understand them, and encourage them in their solemn endeavor, in the years ahead? If you agree, please say, “We do.” [Parents respond.]

And to the witnesses and honored guests here today, I ask the same question. Do you offer your blessing for their marriage, promising to support them, understand them, and encourage them in their solemn endeavor, in the years ahead? If you agree, please say, “We do.” [Audience responds]

Unity Candle

Now, Holly and Dennis will commemorate their marriage by lighting a Unity Candle. [Holly and Dennis walk over to candles.]

Light is the essence of our existence. Each one of us possesses an inner glow that represents our hopes, our dreams and our aspirations in life.
Holly and Dennis, the two distinct candle flames represent your lives before this day, individual, unique and special. Please take the candle symbolizing your life before today, and together light the center candle to symbolize the union of your individual lives. [Place the tapers back into their holders -- join hands and remain near the candles.] As this new flame burns undivided, so shall your lives now be one. From now on your plans will be mutual, your joys and sorrows both will be shared alike.

Although you are now entering into a marriage, you do not, however, lose your personal identity. Rather, you will use your special individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, all three candles remain glowing. The individual candles represent all that makes each of you the wonderful and unique person the other admires and respects. The Unity candle in the center symbolizes the union of your lives, families, and friends, as well as your shining commitment to each other, and to a lasting and loving marriage. [Holly and Dennis return to positions in front of Ryan.]

Reading #2

Union
By Robert Fulghum

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks — all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will” — those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” — and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed — well I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another — acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you two. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this — is my husband, this — is my wife.

Vows

[We each wrote our own vows secretly. Ironically enough our vows turned out to be very similar.]

Exchange of Rings

Do you Holly, accept this man, Dennis, as your husband — joining with him today in matrimony — offering your friendship and loving care — honoring his growth and freedom as well as your own — cherishing and respecting him, loving and embracing him in times of adversity and times of joy? If so, answer now, “I do.” (Holly responds, “I do.”)

Please repeat after me:

With this ring / I thee wed. / Take it as a sign / of my everlasting / and unconditional love / with all that I am / and all that I have / from this day forward / as your wife.

Do you Dennis, accept this woman, Holly, as your wife — joining with her today in matrimony — offering your friendship and loving care — honoring her growth and freedom as well as your own – cherishing and respecting her, loving and embracing her in times of adversity and times of joy? If so, answer now, “I do.” (Dennis responds, “I do.”)

Please repeat after me:

With this ring / I thee wed. / Take this as a sign / of my everlasting / and unconditional love / with all that I am / and all that I have / from this day forward / as your husband.

Love freely given has no giver and no receiver. You are each the giver and each the receiver. The wedding ring is a symbol, in visible form, of the unbroken circle of your love, so that wherever you go, you may always return to your shared life together. May these rings always call to mind the power of your love.

Pronouncement

Holly and Dennis, in the presence of your family and friends who have joined you to share this moment of joy, you have declared your deep love and affection for each other. You have stated your wish to live together, always open to a deeper, richer friendship and partnership. You have formed your own union, based on respect and honor. Therefore, it is my joyful responsibility to officially acknowledge your union as “Husband and Wife.” You may now seal your marriage with a kiss.

Final Blessing for Your Marriage

May the glory which rests upon all who love you, bless you and keep you, fill you with happiness and a gracious spirit. Despite all changes of fortune and time, may that which is noble and lovely and true remain abundantly in your hearts, giving you strength for all that lies ahead.

Introduction of Bride and Groom

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my privilege to present to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Dennis and Holly _______!



Posted in General, Love, Math | 35 Comments

One More Comparison Between Penn State and the Catholic Church

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

One question a lot of people are asking in the wake of the Penn State scandal is: Why didn’t anyone who knew about Jerry Sandusky‘s crimes go to the police?

Mark P. McKenna has a theory about it — and it connects to the Catholic Church:

… I have significant doubts about what an associate at a law firm (or a junior person at Goldman Sachs, or an intern in Congress) would do if he witnessed a sexual assault. Because this is not about a problem at some other institution; it’s a reflection of a universal human tendency to look out for oneself, and to preserve hierarchical institutions about which one cares and upon which one is dependent. It’s also a reflection of the nearly boundless capacity to ignore inconvenient facts and to make excuses for those within our own circle. Think about the Catholic Church. Predators flourished in parishes for years, not simply (and probably not even primarily) because higher-ups worried about financial exposure. They flourished because many otherwise good people could not bring themselves to believe or to act upon information that their priest was a rapist.

Part of the education that needs to happen right now is making sure people know that even when people they love commit a crime as awful as child molestation (or other types of physical abuse), there’s no reason to keep that information to yourself. And you’re never to blame for what happens to the rapists and abusers. By turning them in to the authorities, you’re making sure the abuse stops there and no one else gets hurt. No one should keep that information to themselves for any reason.

Posted in General, Sports | 7 Comments

How Much Religion Should You Expose Your Children To?

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

The folks at Penny Arcade, the Series just released some bonus content from their Season 2 DVD and it involves an interesting discussion about how much (if any) religion you should teach your children:

Just to be clear, the argument isn’t about teaching your children that religious beliefs are true — we know that’s absurd and no one should be advocating that.

This is about religious education. Kids should know the basics about faith — the stories referenced in pop culture, the major beliefs held by their friends’ parents, whatever they can handle at that young age — but you may not want to expose them to some of the horrors in the Bible (rape, genocide, God killing his creations, etc.) before they’re old enough to handle it. How much is too much?

(Thanks to Jeremy for the link)

Posted in General, Humor | 34 Comments

Insert Your Own ‘Stuffed Crust’ Joke Here

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Al Vernacchio teaches the best high school sex education class you’ll find anywhere — it’s honest, frank, and doesn’t shy away from answering the questions kids really want answered.

My favorite excerpt from this New York Times article is the part where Vernacchio wonderfully links up sex and food:

“So let’s think about pizza,” Vernacchio said to his students after they’d deconstructed baseball. The class for that day was just about over. “Why do you have pizza?”

“You’re hungry,” a cross-country runner said.

“Because you want to,” Vernacchio affirmed. “It starts with desire, an internal sense — not an external ‘I got a game today, I have to do it.’ And wouldn’t it be great if our sexual activity started with a real sense of wanting, whether your desire is for intimacy, pleasure or orgasms… And you can be hungry for pizza and still decide, No thanks, I’m dieting. It’s not the healthiest thing for me now.

“If you’re gonna have pizza with someone else, what do you have to do?” he continued. “You gotta talk about what you want. Even if you’re going to have the same pizza you always have, you say, ‘We getting the usual?’ Just a check in. And square, round, thick, thin, stuffed crust, pepperoni, stromboli, pineapple — none of those are wrong; variety in the pizza model doesn’t come with judgment,” Vernacchio hurried on. “So ideally when the pizza arrives, it smells good, looks good, it’s mouthwatering. Wouldn’t it be great if we had that kind of anticipation before sexual activity, if it stimulated all our senses, not just our genitals but this whole-body experience.” By this time, he was really moving fast; he’d had to cram his pizza metaphor into the last five minutes. “And what’s the goal of eating pizza? To be full, to be satisfied. That might be different for different people; it might be different for you on different occasions. Nobody’s like ‘You failed, you didn’t eat the whole pizza.’

Where was this class when we were in high school?

And why would anyone oppose it?! (That a rhetorical question… we know the last thing religious parents want their children to hear is that sex — including sex outside marriage — isn’t necessarily a bad thing.)

Posted in Education, General, Love | 23 Comments

Secular Voters in Iowa are Supporting Ron Paul

Posted on November 19, 2011 by Hemant Mehta

Iowa Caucus voters are still very divided over which Republican candidate to vote for this January, and when you separate them by religious beliefs, the differences are even more striking:

“That’s more the story than who’s ahead,” said Jim McCormick, chairman of the ISU Political Science Department, who coordinated the poll.

“The number of people who are firmly committed to a candidate is really only 16.5 percent,” McCormick said. “A majority of them, 52-plus, are undecided and 30 percent are sort of leaning toward one candidate.”

…

Herman Cain received the most votes among Catholics (35 percent) and Protestant/born-again (25 percent), but he has very little support among secular voters (10 percent). Secular voters represent a small portion of caucus voters, but they are the most unified with six-in-ten of them backing Ron Paul.

Among religious voters, born-again Protestants are the least supportive of Mitt Romney. Only one-in-eight born-again voters support the former governor of Massachusetts, compared to nearly one-in-four support among other Protestants. Evangelicals are twice as likely to support Rick Perry compared to other religious voters.

A couple other things to note in the image above:

  • Rick Santorum doesn’t even have support among his fellow Catholics. Or the evangelical Christians. That’s good news for everyone.

  • I’m not surprised that Ron Paul overwhelmingly gets the Secular vote, but that much of it? I would’ve thought “Can’t Decide” or “Other” would poll higher…

  • Check out that contrast between Born-Again Christians and Not-Born-Again Christians when it comes to supporting Mitt Romney — it’s amazing how much his Mormonism affects how different kinds of Christians see him.

Does anything else from the poll stand out to you?

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