In a welcome break from the dreary standard Hungarian Jewish cemetery policy investigation story involving racist assholes or clueless teens knocking over tombstones or otherwise vandalizing the hallowed final resting places of local Jews, law enforcement officials last week launched a probe into the Budapest Alliance of Jewish Communities (BZSH) on suspicion of embezzlement and false bookkeeping after evidence came to light that one of the organization's cemeteries has kept funerals off the books in order to avoid paying taxes.

In the best example of Hungarians putting aside their differences since the country's most right-wing and left-wing parties agreed on the need to tax porn and romantic comedies, schoolchildren from across the nation joined together to raise over Ft 4 million (€13,000) to help needy kids in Romania. But before you start getting all misty-eyed at the notion that the cash is destined for that country's population of Roma (Gypsy), it seems the cash is actually targeted at the ethnic Hungarian minority centered in Transylvania. Not that this should be surprising, given that the one thing it seems Hungarians left, right and center can agree on is that the Gypsies are trash.

A recently-released survey carried out by the World Health Organization in cooperation with the local authorities points to some changes in regards to Hungarian youth, smoking, alcohol, drugs, sex and other things largely unknown to previous generations of youngsters. As with many such reports, the study, which is repeated every four years and this time included 8,000 participants, included data both reassuring and alarming. First the alarming: smoking among elementary school students was found to be significantly less common than previously, while these same kids are in general happier with their lives.

Now for the reassuring bits.

In a stunning achievement in the high-stakes and closely-watched world of competitive Hungarian inside job armored van robbery, a driver for the local unit of the international Brinks security company used a deft and daring "drives and ditch" maneuver to break through the crucial Ft 1 billion barrier for the first time.

In other current events involving Hungary and its regional frenemies, the death of a famous and beloved Hungarian puppeteer yesterday was cruelly overshadowed by the passing on the same day of a far more famous and beloved Czech cartoonist.

A mass resignation by doctors in Slovakia due to a labor dispute has led Hungarian officials to order that hospitals in areas near the country's northern border be prepared to treat any sick Slovaks unable to receive treatment at home. In exchange for the medical assistance, Slovakia will be offering psychological help to millions of Hungarians enraged and humiliated by the overall greater level of prosperity and international respect enjoyed by their former hillbilly vassals up north. [index.hu]

In what we can only describe as a knockout local celebrity true-crime story, former Hungarian female boxing champion/sexpot Bettina Csábi has been arrested for tax evasion and forgery.

A mass brawl erupted between two groups armed with hand tools in Gyöngyöspata on Wednesday afternoon. Three people were lightly injured in a fight that arose out of an earlier disagreement between local residents, Heves police said. Three people detained at Gyöngyös police station will face criminal proceedings on suspicion of hooliganism. It was not immediately known whether the brawl could be linked to the Monday incident in which shots were fired at village mayor Oszkár Juhász. [HATC]

With rain being pretty much non-existent since July, water levels in the Danube have gotten so low you can go and walk around the central abutment of Margit Bridge, which is usually underwater. Just keep an eye out for the birds flying overhead.

Sometimes we're sent a video where we just don't know what to say. This is one of those times. Send it to that special someone you hate.

Sent in by our buddy L.Z., who spotted this wintertime head gear while doing his best to slalom through the various girls wanting his attention.

Thanks go to our friend P.D. for sending us this picture of the Soviet War Memorial located at Szabadság tér ("Freedom Square") after it was defaced at some point early Wednesday morning. Unlike the usual red paint, this individual tried their best to add some messages, writing "Erdélyt vissza" ("return Transylvania") before deciding that they wanted more, so that they added "mindent vissza" ("return everything") below it, followed by "le a megszállókkal" ("down with the occupiers").

International travel guide and tourist-scamming enabler Lonely Planet is running some kind of international poll to find the 100 best bars in the world, and wouldn't you know it, the top two establishments (as of the writing of this post) are none other than A38 and Szimpla Kert. While no doubt Hungarians are feverishly voting the two locations up, and they are unlikely to remain at the top, we have to admit that having two locations in the top 100 is still pretty damn cool.

Or, for that matter, anywhere near the US Marine compound up in the castle district. Found via Márton Bede's tumblr.

Our good friend L.Z. was walking by the Jégbüfe when he came across one of the class pictures on display in the window. No doubt the comments below the photos were to added by the students to reflect what they had become known for over their years in high school, meaning that one Nóra Német must have been fairly popular, and not just among the students.

Not sure what they're advertising (it appears to be for a bank or some sort of lotto thing), but hey, Budapest looks great (if slightly modified) in it! [urbanista.blog.hu]

Saturday brings us the latest installment of Fürdők Éjszakája ("night of the baths"), this time with five - five! - participating thermal baths and numerous DJs and other performances. The excitement starts at 22:00 and ends at 03:00, promising five fun-filled hours of wholesome youthful exuberance, or an uncontrolled spasm of high-grade disco drugs, body-image anxiety attacks, and water-borne sexual-transmitted diseases. On the other hand, why choose?

A growing number of incidents involving tree theft is being reported to police in various parts of the country, as the winter season sets in. In a public forest in Ladánybene, south of Budapest, 250 trees were illegally chopped down and hauled away in recent days, while further south in Baja 200 cubic meters of wood were nicked. In related news, over in Kiskunfélegyháza, unknown perpetrators stole a generator worth Ft 300,000, while in Soltszentimre an industrial site was looted of 500 liters of diesel oil and three storage batteries. [baon.hu]

In this week's news of people plumbing new levels of depravity, a 25-year-old woman pushing her baby carriage home in broad daylight was mugged by a knife-brandishing assailant in Kecskemét, who forced her to hand over her wallet, which contained only a few hundred forints. Police have identified the attacker as a local underage tough, and hopefully are already going medieval all over his ass. [baon.hu]

Spotted by tipster B. A. this past weekend at a Western Union money transfer window somewhere in Budapest. The explosively bungled text is apparently meant to exhort would-be customers to comply with a law that requires high government officials and their close relatives to declare themselves as "politically exposed" people before making large cross-border financial transactions. Which, come to think of it, is pretty funny all in itself.

In other Hungarian diaspora news today, Mitch Daniels, the governor of the American state of Indiana - and a much-mentioned potential Republican vice-presidential prospect - made a well-publicized drop-in yesterday to the Our Lady of Hungary School in South Bend, to bask in the runaway success the state's new voucher program has had in adding to enrollment at the Catholic school, which was started in the 1920s by Hungarian immigrants, but which recently faced closure.

A 26-year-old Romanian national was arrested on suspicion of hacking into servers belonging to NASA, costing the US space agency $500,000 in damages, prosecutors in Romania announced on Tuesday. While stories in the international press like this pointed to the arrest as the latest example of a cyber-crime network "operating from Romania" being rolled up, it fell to Index yesterday to point out, just for the record, that the suspect, Róbert Butyka (left), is actually an ethnic Hungarian. Cool!

Remember the crazy story of Ábel Somogyi - a.k.a. Ábel S. - the deranged law student who was picked up and put away after he confessed to planning to murder 22 random people, one for each of his miserable years alive? Well he's now out on the streets, having spent just under a month in custody for each of the people he planned on blowing away.

The government announced last week that it is planning to spend up to Ft 150 billion refurbishing high-profile historical buildings and sights - or building new ones - in Budapest over the next six-eight years.