B3ta newsletter 503, out now - featuring awesome trannies singing Electric Dreams, Haka VS LSD and how to survive in prison. Get stuck in.
Read newsletter 503
published by
rob on 4th Nov at 1pm
Tactless
As grandmasterfluffles puts it, "My ex once told me, "That's the best sex I've ever had... Well, apart from with my cousin..."
What's the most tactless thing you've heard? And was it you saying it?
Read all 116 stories (open)
asked by
chthonic on 3rd Nov at 10pm
Population Challenge
Earth's population has reached seven billion, which is rather too much. This week's challenge is to devise a solution to reduce the numbers, using only the power of Photoshop.
See all 52 images (open)
set by
Fraser on 3rd Nov at 9am
B3ta newsletter 502, out now - featuring the best Masterchef innuendos,
an Apple catalog from 1983 & a plane landing without front wheels.
Read newsletter 502
published by
rob on 28th Oct at 4pm
Racist grandparents
It Came From Planet Aylia says: "My husband's mad Auntie Joan accused the man seven doors down of stealing her milk as he was the first black neighbour she had. She doesn't even get her milk delivered." Tell us about casual racism from oldies.
Thanks to Brayn Dedd who suggested this too
Read all 311 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 27th Oct at 11am
The b3ta City
If b3ta were a real metropolis, what would we expect to see and do there? What would the buildings look like? And the inhabitants? Answers, please, in the form of this week's challenge, as suggested by Bourbon Fox.
See all 146 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 27th Oct at 8am
B3ta newsletter 501, out now - this week featuring The Stone Roses on University Challenge, a rather interesting double vibrator made from a food mixer and an opportunity to buy a life-sized paper cut out of David Cameron for a kids' bedroom.
Read newsletter 501
published by
rob on 21st Oct at 4pm
News into Computer Games
Take any story from the news and turn it into a fun game. Thanks to Monkeon for the idea.
See all 168 images (closed)
set by
rob on 20th Oct at 11pm
Meeting people from the internet
Monty Boyce asks: Have you ever had a real-life meet with somebody you first knew from the internet? How did it go? How long until the Asbo expires?
Read all 223 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 20th Oct at 12pm
B3ta newsletter 500 - we dumbfounded that this number is so big quite frankly. What happened to our life? Is it still the 90s?
Read newsletter 500
published by
rob on 14th Oct at 4pm
What Would Jesus Do?
Imagine Jesus solving the ordinary problems of the modern world. Getting a place on the tube, putting together an Ikea desk or trying to cook up a reasonable meal when there's bugger all in the fridge. What would Jesus do?
See all 181 images (closed)
set by
rob on 13th Oct at 8pm
The B3TA Detective Agency
Universalpsykopath tugs our coat and says: Tell us about your feats of deduction and the little mysteries you've solved. Alternatively, tell us about the simple, everyday things that mystified you for far too long.
Read all 261 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 13th Oct at 12pm
B3ta newsletter 499, our now - 499! FOR FUCKS SAKE. Anyway, hope you like it.
Read newsletter 499
published by
rob on 7th Oct at 4pm
Iffy crushes
Who would you like to have sex with who isn't probably top of everyone's list and why?
Read all 441 stories (closed)
asked by
rob on 6th Oct at 2pm
If Dinosaurs Were Still Alive
Imagine if Dinosaurs were still alive... The meat counter at Tescos might have more variety, a walk in the forest might be a bit scary but at least the safari parks would be fun. Our ideas are shit this is why it's a challenge for you.
See all 171 images (closed)
set by
rob on 6th Oct at 12pm
Steve Jobs RIP
OK. We've also opened a side challenge to collect all the images that are inevitably going to come our way as basically the most famous computery person has died. Seems a shame not to collect them.
See all 86 images (closed)
set by
rob on 5th Oct at 12pm
MP Tom Watson wants your photoshops - you know the chappy who's played a huge part in this whole Hackgate affair has stuck a request on twitter specifically to you lot. He wants photoshops of "Theresa May's migrant cats". If you fancy taking part them
please add them to this thread.
posted by
rob on 4th Oct at 5pm
B3ta newsletter 498, out now - featuring webuyanycat.com, a joypad that works with your phone AND the creepy reason old paintings look a bit brown.
Read newsletter 498
published by
rob on 30th Sep at 3pm
Merchandise for films that normally wouldn't have merchandise
Merchandise for films that normally wouldn't have merchandise. The Last Tango in Paris Butter Dish, Se7ev Happy Meal Jack in a Box. Titanic bath toy. Oh you can do better, and that's why this is a challenge.
See all 241 images (closed)
set by
rob on 30th Sep at 11am
Crap Gadgets
We wanted a monkey butler and bought one off eBay. Imagine our surprise when we found it was just an ordinary monkey with rabies. Worse: It had no butler training at all. Tell us about your duff technology purchases.
Thanks to Moonbadger for the suggestion
Read all 251 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 29th Sep at 12pm
B3ta newsletter 497, out now - featuring Tom Selleck's wonderful lip-hair, real world trolling and a very naughty penguin.
Read newsletter 497
published by
rob on 23rd Sep at 4pm
B3TA fixes the world
Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.
Read all 471 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 22nd Sep at 12pm
Three Frame Movies
This week's task is to edit Hollywood classics down to the essentials, and relate the entire plot of a movie in just three frames. Easy.
See all 197 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 21st Sep at 11pm
B3ta newsletter 496, out now - "IF WE'RE 'ALL IN THIS TOGETHER' WHERE'S OUR COKE AND HOOKERS?" This week featuring: tourette's bloke vs. Lionel Richie's 'Hello', baby ape bath-time frolics and extremel cat baskets.
Read newsletter 496
published by
rob on 16th Sep at 1pm
I didn't do it
Chthonic wants to know about awful, terrible things you have definitely never done. But secretly have. Confess!
Read all 198 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 15th Sep at 1pm
Fluffy The Penguin
To mark the occasion of b3ta's 10th anniversary, we're repeating one of the very first challenges. So photoshop THIS penguin, for he is Fluffy.
Clicky for biggy.
See all 250 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 14th Sep at 6pm
10th Anniversary icon - show your love for B3ta (and help support the on-going costs of the site) by getting an original Furtive Bear but with a 10 instead of eyes.
Buy them here.
posted by
rob on 12th Sep at 12pm
Happy 10th Birthday B3ta
Ten years ago today we launched B3ta (well the version of it you'd recognise). Happy birthday B3ta! As a special one off please add your memories of B3ta here. E.g. How you found the site, or an early thing you saw on the site, maybe the people you've met or how the community is/was part of your life.
Read all 339 stories (closed)
asked by
rob on 12th Sep at 10am
B3ta newsletter 495, out now - this week featuring the most alarming Punternet reviews, mystery sculptures of Scotland & puppies with wobbly ears. Also Viz have sponsored it to promote their Profanisaurus Android/iPhone app. The 15 year old me is very impressed that I can now claim, "B3ta - as sponsored by Viz (sort of)"
Read newsletter 495
published by
rob on 9th Sep at 2pm
School Naughtiness
The B3ta Confessional is open. What was the naughtiest thing you ever did at school?
Read all 205 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 8th Sep at 12pm
Tea
The average Briton consumes 2.5 kilos of tea every year, the highest average in the world. This week's challenge is to celebrate that supremacy. It's a one word challenge: tea.
See all 209 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 8th Sep at 12pm
