a portait of the artist still in fucking bed

new york. the sound of the traffic travels up here to this little room.

i leave the windows wide open overnight, so outside can come as in as it can come.

i wake up with a head full of amanda-voices and for once i manage to stay half asleep and half awake and let them simmer while i watch. i have my mind and my ideas and my whole self back after a month or so of almost total absence. the summer of horror can now be nicely and neatly packaged up into a story with a beginning and an end and finally my stuffed-lately brain is freed up to eat what it most enjoys: this next record, which i’ve spent all day fucking talking about in theory with people in offices but not the music the music the music, that part never gets disucssed, it’s for my head, for the recording studio later, for the shows, for later, later, later but my head wants it now now now. my new songs are swimming in my ears and i let them sing to me, half-finished; i listen to my own lyrics and tweak them, i imagine the start of the record and play with the song order even though nothing’s recorded. and i bask in the self-glow of anticipation. i had a theory when i was 15 that anticipation was the highest human emotion. and always better than the thing anticipated. i thought maybe i’d figured out something that adults hadn’t discovered and that my enlightened philosophy might actually be of use to the world. i would spread this theory : “but isn’t it actually more enjoyable the second BEFORE you bite in the cookie” i would demand of my poor tablemates during lunch time. “isn’t it the LOOKING FORWARD to the dance because when you actually get there it’s always a disappointment but up until that moment all you can do is think about what MIGHT happen and isn’t that BETTER? ISNT IT ISNT ISNT ISNT IT????” little zen amanda.

then i read the ode on a grecian urn and realized somebody beat me to my theory by a hundred years or so. kinda.

there: on my mind’s movie screen is my blurry vision of the album artwork, i draw blurry sound pictures in my head, i coordinate blurry photo shoots in my head, i go blurry costume shopping for vintage junk jewelry and blurry military jackets for the band (they don’t look blurry), i route our european festival tour wondering if we’ll be able to do our entire show in daylight or if we’ll have to cut the projections, i hear the shimmering layers of overdubs blasting into bridges that i need to write, i picture everything as a complete work of art, from the sounds of the brass to the arrival of the bizarre little 7” in some teenager’s mailbox in canberra australia. and the YAAAAAAA.

i try to remember what it was like to wait for something in the mail.

didn’t arcade fire write a song about this recently?

i can’t remember the last time i was actually happy to see a brown box land on my doorstep. but it used to be one oft he happiest moments in my life. especially before opening. 

sometimes i would wait on purpose, a self-imposed christmas.

god i can’t wait to start making this record.

bed alone in the morning first thing is the perfect place for this kind of fantasizing. it is best for thinking if it’s warm and gray out with a cool breeze rushing occasionally in, with the sounds of seagulls, the diffused light filling up the room like an indoor cloud. 

man cannot live in bed alone.

ba doom ching.

but i close my eyes and roll around under the comforter like a happy little sausage and let the dulcet sounds of moving trucks over a wet city soundtrack my happiness. 

when i was a little girl, we used to go visit my father and elaine in new york city. we’d stay the weekend. my sister and i would sleep in the den, on beds at right angles, and the windows would be open even in winter, letting up the sounds of the street. it was like a lullaby to me. at home in lexington, in my big lonesome bedroom in the suburbs, i would stay awake, tossing and turning and listening to the silence, wondering what was going to appear from my closet and eat me. the old shutter-style closet door wouldn’t stay shut so i had a complicated arrangement of rubber bands to keep it absolutely closed at night, lest it swing open and the monsters come and eat me. the nightlight had to be on. the door to the hallway had to remain open. i demanded a cat at all times. and if the cat left the bed i’d sink into terror. awake for hours. in new york, the street cacophony and the room filled with hard and soft ever-moving city lights put me out like an ambien and a bottle of wine. the comfort of knowing that life was continuing; that i was surrounded by humans, that business went on a few stories down from my little head. there were no monsters to fear, there were people everywhere, and the monsters (for me at least, i’m sure there were other children with other issues) could not be where the people were….it just didn’t work that way.

but every minute awake from the time of realization is one more minute away from the magicbrain…the door starts shutting the moment i open my eyes. the reality of the day and of the moment starts flooding in. i stop thinking about the conceptual beauty of my next record album and start getting distracted by the to-do list. i remember how much i like food, and coffee. i try to find a good spot for the pillow between my legs to keep my hips apart so they don’t get sore if i fall back asleep. i remember who i am. i remember last night. 

soon, it’s gone.

soon, i’m wondering if i should actually write that blog i’ve been meaning to, for years, about how much i fucking love waking up and not getting out of bed and just trying to lie there, to bottle the magicbrain of half-wakiing like a potion, to dwell in that almost holy liminal space on my mental tiptoes, desperately not wanting not wake my rational self, she who Does. the sirens, the horns, the trucks on the wet city, they help block out the reality, they don’t suck me back in. they make music i love.

here, i’m awake, almost, i blog.

i could have just gone to get coffee and started the fucking day.

congratulations, me

and how are you this morning?

ten years ago today…

…i was in my bathroom and my cell phone rang.
it was my mother.
“planes have hit the world trade center and the pentagon”, she said, with a franticness in her voice that took me aback.
i rushed upstairs to lee’s and we turned on his ancient television to the news.

it is the first and last time i have watched television at home, in my 11 years of living here.
new york is only a few hundred miles south of boston. we live a few dozen blocks from the highest buildings in boston. i wondered if they would come down.

marisa came up, and sandhia, who were living on the first floor then.

and we watched the towers collapse, live.
in the first heartbeats, i was ashamed at how excited i was.

no death toll yet, just the knowledge that we were watching history, and maybe entering world war three.
then.
my friends in new york.
my ex, the actor, he was down there.

he went after we broke up. a few months before.
we hadn’t been talking.
it hadn’t been pretty.
but

i called him.
it all came together and it all collapsed.

……………..

here’s the footage of the song.
it’s from two years later, in 2003, when the dresden dolls were still relatively tiny and unknown, in boston at the paradise lounge….
playing to probably 100 people.



……………….

TRUCE


you can have washington i’ll take new jersey
you can have london but i want new york city

i should get providence i’ve got a job now
los angeles - obvious - that’s where you belong now

you can have africa, asia, australia
as long as you keep your hands off café pamplona

we can split germany right down the middle
you’d hate it there, anyway
take berlin and we’ll call it even

you can take all of the carry-on baggage
i’ll trade the saskia jokes for the alphabet language

and summer vacations we’ll split between parents 

who forced us to hate them on alternating weekends 

you call it over, and i call you psycho
significant other?
just say we were lovers and we’ll call it even
we’ll call it even

i am the ground zero ex-friend you ordered
disguised as a hero to get past your borders
i know when i’m wanted i’ll leave when you ask me to
mind my own business and speak when i’m spoken to

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the ground within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

you get route 2 between concord and lexington
i want mass ave from the square to my apartment

and if we should meet through some misunderstanding
i’ll be very sweet, very patient, and forgiving
(now get off my side of the state)

and if we should meet one another in passing
despite these techniques there is sometimes no avoiding
(there must be some kind of mistake)

we’ll raise high our white flags and say “hi” and shake hands
declaring the land we’re on unamerican
we’ll call it even

i am the tower around which you orbited
i am not proud i am just taking orders
i fall to the ground within moments of impact
i hit back if hit
and attack if attacked

i am an accident waiting to happen
i’m laughing like mad while you strangle the captain
my place may be taken, but make no mistake
from a little black black box i can say without shame
that you’ve lost
do you know what you’ve lost?

so take whatever you’d like
i’ll strike like the States on fire
you won’t sleep very tight
no hiding
no safe covers
make your bed and now lie
just like you always do
you can fake it for the papers, but i’m on to you….

…………………….

it remains one of my favorite dresden dolls’ songs.

love,
afp

p.s. if you’re wondering….it’s the final song on the dolls’ self-titled. you can get it over on that site where all my other music is.

lots of answers: on touring, working with exes, marriage and ukulele.

hola my dears….

thank you all for all the cyber-hugs and wellwishes. it really does help. i love you guys.
things are getting better.

one more day in edinburgh, tomorrow we head to brighton for the show there on thursday (from what i hear, it’s sold out…hooray).
then onto london, vienna, amsterdam, and then home where i plan to sleep for a few days.

i asked for questions on twitter, because i figured….i’m in a question-answering mood. and i needed something concrete and simple to do.
here you go….

from @thisdyingbreed:
Any plans to release Trout Heart Replica officially? Been in love with that track since you performed it in Dublin in ‘09.

i fucking love this song. chances are very good it’ll wind up in the mix on this next collection of stuff i’m planning to release.

from @karohemd:
What’s next? New, full album?

funny you should ask…à propos. the current plan is to take this current back-up band (the grand theft orchestra, who are with me in europe right now) and record a whole batch of new material this winter. not sure exactly how i’m going to fund and release it, but i’m pretty damn sure that’s the timeline. i’ve now got a backlog of songs and material, and it’s time to get back into the studio to record.

from @rossome:
Not sure if the answer is more than 140 characters, but will us fans ever see the footage that was recorded on Friday?

i assume you’re asking about the glasgow footage? drew forrest - who’s been filming lots in the UK - just uploaded a little collage of backstage footage:

visit youtu.be/ZZMgRyKDK_c if that embed doesn’t work…

from @neversaynikki:
how has social networking (ie, a not-so-personal personal life) changed who you are not only as a performer, but as a person?

oh good lord. i think i could write a book about this. maybe i should stop twittering forever and do just that.

honestly, i’m so overwhelmed by the wonderful possibilities of social networking, and grateful for the freedom that it’s brought me as a touring artist, that i find it hard to dwell and the (obviously) negative drawbacks. but as someone who feeds heavily on human connection for happiness, i can see within it the ultimate blessing and curse, especially as i watch people use networking tools to go above and beyond the bounds of what used to be possible to ALL GET IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME, and then squander their futurisitlcally-earned together-time barely even connecting with each other in real ways. i’ve watched entire tables of people give up on each other and dive into their phones, which seems possibly safer….? more fun….? more fulfilling? exciting? less work? in any event, i’ve also been that person. i think this is a longer conversation….and i often find myself having it with people over food, as we discuss the pros and cons and difficulties of social networking. i think the only way we can all figure it out is if we discuss it. and gently point out to our friends and lovers (and not take offense when THEY point it out to us) that maybe it’s not the right time to be facebooking and tweeting.

from @TarValanion:
How do you choose the places where you go and play? Knowing your ninja gigs, I don’t think you wait to be invited.

it’s actually very different depending on WHAT kind of show. this would be a great blog in itself, since i think the mechanisms of WHY and WHERE i play certain places is quite a mystery to most people.
but put simply: when i choose to play a general territory (like the UK and europe, or the states), i have a booking agent. they know my general needs (i.e. what kind of venue i like, and about what capacity i’m good for…in some smaller cities it’s only 200, in some larger ones it’s closer to 2,000). people also email into my website and offer me real gigs and festivals, and i got over those with my team and my agents if the offers are legit. when it comes to the less pre-organized ninja gigs…it all happens by accident, usually. sometimes by planned accident. on my last australian tour, my tour manager (eric sussman) and i BUILT in ninja-days, and i would ask the people of twitter where good spots would be. then, we’d simply do online research and try to narrow things down. or often, i know a friend who has a space or an art gallery perfect for cramming people into a free show. this sort of home-grown-show-planning is something i’d really like to do more of in the next year. as much as i love playing giant theaters and venues on some nights, i like the idea of keeping things intimate and in the hands of the people actually listening to my music. there’s nothing more depressing than dealing with venue people who give no fuck about you and give no fuck about your fans. the nicest thing about ninja gigs, is i get to avoid all that. ninja gigs are best done in a place where the fans can gather and be together easily, with no harrasment from the outside world, but in a place that’s free and open to everyone.
of course, i do run the risk of getting arrested sometimes. that’s a pain in the ass. we’re learning.
and there are boring adult issues like insurance and liability to consider (if someone gets drunk and breaks their body at one of my house parties, will their family sure me? i hope i never find out).

from @Debbracadabra:
How on earth do you and @neilhimself manage to make a marriage work w. your busy schedules? Or does that help make it work :)

i think it’s the latter. we get along best when we’re together and busy. or apart and busy. when we’re together and not busy or apart and not busy, things tend to lose their footing.
neil and i are constantly trying to figure out what our marriage is. all we’ve figured out so far is that it is 100%, definitely, absoutely not fucking normal. that’s a nice start.

from @jolenemeghan:
What are you most grateful for in this moment?

lately, i’ve been grateful for neil. i really love him, and i’m constantly astonished he came into my life.

canoodling after the evelyn evelyn show on the 17th:

photo by william showalter (via flickr)

i’ve also been really appreciative of my friends and extendo-family of performers in edinburgh - margaret cho, tom and jen (and their others, ange and adam), andrew o’neill, my pals jonas and jamie from vegas who have been staying here…the folks i’m been running into but feel a very deep connection with. i appreciate how real everyone has been lately.

from @RabbiValesTales:
Here’s a Uke question: just getting into Ukelele. What’s a good brand, and which register do you prefer? Love your uke stuff!
(and from @missfrotrap:
Advice for aspiring ukulele players?)

i’ve found that many ukuleles are created equal for beginner purposes. i highly recommend, if you’re getting a CHEAP ukelele (like less than $30-40) that you buy one with a PLASTIC fretboard. as cheesy as that sounds, it’s much more likely to stay in tune than a cheap one with metal frets…the intonation (i.e. in-tune-ness) tends to suffer on those cheaper ones. then again, a good ukulele usually sounds best when SLIGHTLY out of tune. what i’d honestly recommend doing is going to an actual music store with a selection of ukuleles, instead of taking your chances online. that way you can talk to a human being who can look at your budget, try some stuff out, and hopefully get the most bang for your buck.

from @ailsakilpatrick:
if you were ever to settle in one place and not tour, where would it be? And what would you do?

i like new york city. i also like melbourne. those are my two favorite cities. given that i’m about to go back into the studio to make a big record, it’s unlikely that i’ll be settling down anywhere in the forseeable future…chances are, when that day comes, it may well be one or both of those cities. and what would i do? make music and theater. just with less moving around.

from @nataliefisher:
what’s it like touring with Michael? He is the one from The Astronaut, right?

nope, different ex. close.
michael and i were together from around the time Who Killed Amanda Palmer was getting birthed (in spring 2008, through the end of that winter).

from the WKAP book, photo by kyle cassidy:


now, in a weird twist of fate, he’s the drummer in my new band, and we’re planning on co-creating a lot of the theatrical elements of my upcoming stage show together.
i mean, it begs the question: what’s it like doing ANYTHING with an ex? and i think the answer always depends on the ex. michael and i first made time for each as human beings because we were excited by and impressed by each other’s work, and we wanted to collaborate on something. then we started a relationship and didn’t collaborate, and i put out a huge record i went off on tour while he went off to grad school. then the relationship fell apart. then i got together with neil. then neil and i got married. and now, with all that under the bridge, michael and i are back to the spot where we started at: wanting to make art together. is it weird? i guess. but not really. being able to work with an ex feels very grown-up, actually. and to tell the truth…if i made a rule to never collaborate with any of the people i’d ever slept with, i’d be a very, very lonely little artist. it would render most of my working relationships invalid. ‘nuff said.

from @SeanSlater:
Are you coming back to Adelaide for Fringe in 2012?

it’s very unlikely….BUT it does look like i’ll be headed back to oz this winter, at least for a quick tour. more to come, stay tuned.

AND…one more piece of news before i go, comrades: as announced a few weeks back, mr. moxy gaiman and i will be making our way up the west coast of north america this fall for the indelible mr. jason webley’s show in seattle (on 11/11/11 at the moore theater). because no “time off” or “vacation”-like travels would be complete without a smattering of shows, neil & i are gonna do some very intimate and unique performances in LA, san francisco, portland, seattle, and portland. we are very close to announcing the venues and dates.

ALSO: for those of you have no chance of coming (and that’s a lot of you) we’ve decided to RECORD and release the whole shebang, utilizing kickstarter for production costs, CD manufacturing, poster-printing, and even some special soundcheck-attending-meet-and-greet-attending-asskickingest-of-the-asskickers VIP ticket packages. it should launch later on this week and some of the packages will go quick. make sure you’re on the mailing list and following @AFPwire on twitter to know when we go live.

here’s a sneak peak at the gorgeous image cynthia von buhler is working on with us…it’s changing a little bit before print, but check this shit out:



that’s it for now, chicas.


LOVE
afp

missive from edinburgh, warrior style

hola my dears.

i’d planned to do a blog a day this month, with my excessive amounts of time-off energy.
i did not do that.

i also had planned on doing a lot of ninja gigs while in edinburgh.
i did not do that.

i also planned on running around the city all month, seeing a million different shows at the fringe.
i did not do that.

i planned a lot of things i did not do.
i had a harrowing month. really awful, actually. worst in years.

so for the time being, (especially all my friends in edinburgh) just accept my apology for pulling such a disappearing act after announcing so vehemently that i’d be running around. i wasn’t. i didn’t. the end. for now i’m just spending my energy surfacing and trying to keep my shit together for these upcoming shows. if you see me, just hug.

in non-real-life-real-life news:

the evelyn evelyn run was SUPER-successful….every show was sold out and we got a endless parade of four-star reviews.
here’s a photo of the twins, backstage, with the new graphic novel, which comes out in october. it looks BEAUTIFUL.



….then the band (aka chad and michael) came to town and we spent three solid days, for about 10 hours a day, practicing in a little rehearsal room in edinburgh at a join called banana row.
we worked on new arrangements of dolls’ songs, songs from “who killed amanda palmer,” and put together a bunch of new cover songs for this UK/european tour only, for shits and giggles.
we crammed - 6 horn players, a bagpiper (my cousin hugh mackinnon, who made his stage debut in edinburgh), and a guest violinist, una palliser - into the room, and we cranked and cranked on the new material. then, a few nights ago, we hit stage. i was exhausted and (this is generous) completely out of it, but all told, ima professional, and i think we managed to bring the rock.
the horndog brass band of edinburgh brought the house down, una shredded her violin to pieces, and we asked the crowd to shut down their cameras for the new songs.
we made it through. i actually got so winded during our le tigre cover that i lost my place and we had to start the entire song over.

time to get back to jogging.

the next morning, we loaded up a van and holly gaiman’s car and headed to glasgow, where we played a much smaller, sweatier venue.
the whole musical rag-tag crew, minus bagpipes, reconvened there for show #2.

here’s some footage of me, michael, and chad talking to the press backstage before the show. you can tell that the coffees have not yet been consumed:

 
http://entertainment.stv.tv/music/267861-amanda-palmer-band-pre-show-glasgow-interview/


the glasgow show was INCREDIBLE….the band finally tightened up and the music fell into place.

at both shows we twitter-sourced glittery and shiny costumes. from edinburgh:

via @neilhimself’s twitter

and this is me doing my bagpiping cousin hugh’s make-up, backstage. this may qualify as my favorite tour photo ever:
photo taken by Ashleigh Haddad

chad on guitar, michael on bass, me on badassery:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)

superkate leading us in AEROBICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)
una sleighing on violin:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)
me&chad:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)

me & georgia from bitter ruin singing “delilah”:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)

michael & the horndog brass band:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)

una, ash, hugh (sans bagbipes):

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)

my moxy, joining me onstage for a surprise performance of 8in8’s “the problem with saints” in edinburgh:

photo by elmyra (via flickr) / digital manipulation by sean francis

the whole lot of us, during “leeds united”:

photo by chrisdonia (via flickr)


LOVE
xxxxxx
AFP

Amanda Fucking Palmer’s Guide to the Edinburgh Fringe (+ ninja shows update!!!)

for those of you not in edinburgh….you might want to read this ONLY if you want to drool and blubber at the exciting things you are missing.
 
if you’ve not been following the plot, this is my 6th (i think) time at the fringe, and every year i’ve been frustrated at my lack of time to actually go out and see shows.
so this year i finally tried to organize my life around being here for long enough to soak up a lot of theater and get re-inspired. it’s my idea of a vacation. art infusion. art mainlining. theater crack habit.
 
 
this is a long extract from a piece wrote for an online newspaper in the UK called THE BIG ISSUE, with a bunch of extra shows and updates (since i’ve SEEN a lot of these shows since getting here).
 
in the NINJA GIG department:
edited august 14th: it looks like Neil & I will be doing a very special teeny-weeny gig together late late sunday night in a teeny-weeny location to be revealed on sunday day, so follow along. everything will be announced via twitter the minute details are available… tonight’s show is now SOLD OUT. monday night’s ninja gig near george square has been postponed for later in the week. keep your eyes to the twitter-skies, folks.</edit>
 
MY OFFICIAL GIGS:
I’ll be playing at The HMV Picture House on August 25 at 7pm and dragging up any and all of the people listed below, so expect ROCK and SURPRISES. I’ll also be co-presenting the famed American singer-songwriter group Evelyn Evelyn (Assembly George Square, August 17-21, 9.10pm) – conjoined twins from Walla Walla, Washington, who look a hell of a lot like me and Jason Webley. The MC for the show will be London-based trickster Thomas Truax, and we expect to break your hearts with the twins’ tales of woe and excellent dual-powered accordion skillz.
 
IF you’ve got some free time before heading into the evelyn evelyn gig, i highly recommend going into the george square assembly courtyard (SO MANY SPIEGELTENTS!!!!!!!) and seeing the installation set up by the Architects of Air, a UK-based sculptural company that makes giant walk-though bouncy-castle0bubble-like air sculptures, but way artier and classier than a bouncy-castle. also called a “luminarium”, here’s what it looks like from the outside:

 
and here’s me today, inside:

 
it’s really worth a look. get a beer and relax your mind first.
 
also….GO EAT AT THE FOREST CAFÉ. they are awesome people, it’s a 5 minute walk from the evelyn evelyn show and they have FREE ENTERTAINMENT ON at almost all times. 
and great great cheap food. tell them i sent you :)
 
tomorrow night (saturday) we’re going to see PHILIP GLASS play the qatsi soundtrack LIVE to the film, which is going to be an extreme treat. 
that’s part of the festival itself, not the fringe: http://edinburghfestival.list.co.uk/event/222443-philip-glass-ensemble-the-qatsi-trilogy-powaqqatsi/
 
Jason Webley! 
Forest Café, August 22, 8pm
Ironically enough, the top recommendation isn’t even an official Fringe event, which makes it a true Fringe event, n’est pas? Seattle-based Jason Webley is part soothsayer, part madman, part joker, and all entertainer. To attend a Jason Webley concert is to commune with your fellow man in a spirit of camaraderie seldom seen in today’s bleak musical landscape. He pounds his accordion, shreds his voice and breaks strings on his guitar at breakneck pace while singing songs he’s penned of love, loss, insanity and magic. His show invariably include some kind of surprise, anarchic shenanigans… so do not expect to simply sit and watch. Plus, he’s responsible for introducing Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. You gotta give him props for that…and you’ll probably see us there.
  
 
Strange Town Theater Company - “HEX”

Hill Street Theatre, August 5-29 (not 10, 17 and 24), 9.25pm 
Support the locals! Budding young Edinburgh talents Sam Siggs and Tim Primrose bring their latest offering to stage… and knowing the particular brand of black humor these two share, it should be a hilarious ride. From the program: “Gwen and Toby have a problem. Gwen and Toby have tried everything. Everything but orthodox superdimensional retrotranscendental quasi-quantum thaumaturgy, that is.” Sounds like an excellent first-date show. I should also point out that Sam’s dad is a fantastic local dentist. 
*THIS WAS AMAZING. it’s always hard to judge the work of your friends, and i went in prepared for anything. but this was a hilarious, hilarious little play about a couple…well, see for yourself…
really smart, great, young, funny stuff. and yes, a great bring-a-date play.
 

The Jane Austen Argument – The Spaces Between
St George’s West, August 5-29 (not 10 and 17), 9.45pm
The Jane Austen Argument are part rock band, part cabaret band, and one *could* compare them to an even-more theatrical version of an oldies band called The Dresden Dolls. Having played countless times with these fellows, I can guarantee they deliver a show full of heartache and dark but sweet humor. Tom has the voice of a broken angel, Jen saucily tickles the ivories and joins in the song, and together they drag you onto their ship of hope, destined for the shores of hangover. They won Best Cabaret at the Adelaide Fringe, deservedly, and now you’ll know why. Go see. I may pop in as a surprise guest, so follow our Twitters.
* i can’t say enough about these guys and people, and since they’re living with us here, it’s been great watching their experience of their own show progress. we went to see the first night, which was a technical nightmare, and they’ve been getting better and better every night and last night won a standing ovation. go. heart. on. sleeve.
 

Sophie Walsh-Harrington: The Damsel In Shining Armour
St George’s West, August 5-29 (not 10, 17 and 24), 8.30pm 
AND if you go see jane austen…this is the show that’s playing back-to-back. This hot little number is the little show that could. In collaboration with The Jane Austen Argument, Sophie (a North Yorkshire lass) created her first cabaret show – brandishing her unlikely weapon (the selected works of Celine Dion) she has smashed through the Australian Cabaret scene to win Best Cabaret – Adelaide Fringe 2011, right after the Jane Austen Argument won. Birds of a feather. 
* I LOVED THIS. i didn’t know what to expect, but Sophie completely won me over. neil loved the show too…it was a total balls-out, funny-as-shit one-woman kamikaze (yes, think meow meow) cabaret show, relating a TMI-life-story-thread that was genuinely gut-busting funny at moments. go.
 

Fascinating Aida
Gilded Balloon Teviot, August 3-29 (not 4, 7 or 17), 6.45pm
A trip to the Fringe without a visit to Fascinating Aida is like a trip to Amsterdam without a least a little hooker window-shopping. One simply MUST. This award-sweeping cabaret trio is a veteran entertainment-machine and the material just gets fresher, lewder, smarter and tighter with each passing year. Ringleader Dillie Keane continues to play her Dirty Ol’ Grand Dame character against the tall and brooding straight-woman Adele, with newcomer-to-the-trio Sarah-Louise Young adding a perfect balance of upstart blond ambition. Once again, a must. 
* neil and i went to see them play the other day, they were AS DIVINE as usual. my favorite song is still “dogging”.  
 
   

Belt Up – all three of their shows: Twenty Minutes to Nine, 5.45pm; Outland, 8.30pm; The Boy James, 10.50pm, all at C Venues – C soco, August 3-29
Well, goddamit. Belt Up has three shows on, and we’re going to have to go see all three to decide which one is best, which is rather bloody tricky of them, isn’t it.
Last Fringe we were blown away by their smashed-up rendition of Moliere’s “Tartuffe”, which was, in my humble opinion, theater as it should be. Sitting on a stained, dirty couch in a stale lofty attic, watching my panic-stricken English husband getting yanked out of his seat and forced to play dress-up along with a cast of mad-people throwing objects and liquids at each other in the name of literature (and it worked!) was possibly the highlight of my year. I can heartily recommend going to see ANYTHING these guys put on…they’ve captured bohemian-theatre-perfection in a bottle once, and I’m betting they can do it again.
* we did as groupies do and we’ve seen all three of these shows so far. i’d HIGHLY recommend all three….i’d actually recommend SEEING ALL THREE as a trilogy over a few days if you’re dedicated, since they all piece together. if you have to pick “the boy james” and “outland” were both surreal meditations on the perils of growing up and there were a lot of people crying, the end. just go. these guys are making theater the way it should be made.
 

The Dark Philosophers – National Theatre Wales / Told By An Idiot
Traverse Theatre, August 9-28, times vary 
So many people have recommended this show to us, and I’m ASSUMING it’s not just because it’s got the words “dark” and “philosophy” in the title. Adapted by Carl Grose from the stories of Gwyn Thomas, every review I’ve scouted for this show seems to agree with our recommending friends. Since the theatre itself describes it as an “homage to a great Welsh storyteller… (this) dark hilarious chronicler of the valleys is a funny, violent, passionate depiction of a community teetering on the brink of humanity”, we’re sold. 
* we went….incredible physical theater, highly highly stylized, but the intertwining plots were a little one-dimensional and a bit heady. still, the sets and production were perfection.
 

Margaret Cho - Cho Dependent 
Assembly George Square, August 3-29 (not 10 and 17), 9pm
Margaret Cho is simply the funniest American woman you’ll ever see on stage. Her stand-up is top notch and takes no cheap shots. Her self-deprecating irreverence coupled with big-hearted admissions and excellent impersonations of her impossible Korean mother are the stuff of legend. This time around she’s bringing a guitar on stage to play some of the songs she’s just released on her first record, Guitarded. Honestly, the woman is Not Afraid To Go There. Go there with her, she’s got a show every night and rumor has it that she may be bringing guests on stage (including me). Plus, she’s said she’ll be my yoga and jogging partner for the month. I mean, support her. She’s being good.
* i’ve had the opportunity to see cho twice since getting here, and she’s in fine form even though the UK contingent don’t seem completely comfortable with her brand of oversharing. seems to me that’s all the more reason to get your ass to her shows and get real with the kids.
 

Orkestra Del Sol
Assembly George Square, August 8, 10, 15, 17 and 22, 7.15pm and 9pm
If you’re looking to have a boisterously loud good time and dance your ass off to the sound of a shredding big-band replete with costumes and horns, or you just want to feel the close kinship of your sweaty, happy human kind, go see Orkestra Del Sol. They’re a Fringe legend, having packed out the Spiegeltent many times over over the years, providing the after-party that everybody needed at the end of a long, hard Fringe day. They could be considered to provide the soundtrack to our late-night hearts, and the best shows turn into an improvised swing-dance part of drunken glee. Each member of the band has an outrageous character, and I give them a personal gold-medal in Party-Bringing. I may show up as a special guest with these guys, so keep your eyes peeled… 
* holly gaiman and i went to see The Orkestra a few nights ago and they were fucking on fire. i suggest drinking before the show and bringing a dancing partner. 
 

Beowulf: A Thousand Years of Baggage – Banana Bag and Bodice
Assembly George Square, August 10-29 (not 15), 4pm 
Having seen this show when it toured to a little theatre this spring in Boston, I can vouch for it: it’s fecking AWESOME. This is a mash-up and Fringe theater as it should be: in your face, on your lap, ripping apart the tales of yore to come up with something that actually hits the spot. Serving up a combination of interactive improv, physical theater and a dash of WTF, the actors are obviously taking so much joy in the transmission of their product that the few holes that exist are easy to embrace. 
* we went to see this yesterday and the show was as good as i remembered, though the daytime slot (which meant the lighting was ineffective) left something to be desired, but the band sounded fabulous and the energy was great. neil liked the dancing girl on the right.
 

Sarah Millican – Thoroughly Modern Millican
Assembly Hall, August 12-28, 7.30pm  
Neil was on a radio programme with Sarah Millican last year and he claims that everything Sarah said, on the radio and off, was funny. Wry, gentle, insidious feel-good stuff with a cruel underneath, like a fluffy duck with spiked deathboots. She could sentence you to have your head cut off in a way that would leave you with a smile on your face. Probably you’d stop smiling pretty soon, when you actually saw the spiked deathboots, though. Go and see her.
 

Andrew O’Neil: Alternative
Assembly George Square, August 3-28 (not 15 and 22), 10.30pm
Beside the fact that Andrew is a really nice, long-haired bloke who once let me gate-crash his apartment in London to practice on his digital keyboard and raid his pantry for a few days, he’s a funny, funny, funny man. His endless list of four-stars reviews should speak for him, but go see for yourself. ‘Andrew O’Neill is like comedy ball-lightning. Fast, electrifying and even funnier than the misfortunes of others’ so said Alan Moore, Greatest Living Englishman and friend of my husband.
 

A Betrayal of Penguins: Endangered for a Reason
Gilded Balloon Teviot, August 3-29 (not 19&20), 5.45pm
How can you resist absurd Irish comedians with penguins in their show title? Really, you can’t. These guys have sold out consecutive Fringes and gotten top-notch reviews from my friends and press alike. We can’t wait.
 

Stewart Lee – Flickwerk 2011
The Stand Comedy Club, August 3-29 (not 15), times vary
Neil says that he is hoping that Stewart Lee will give up stand-up comedy and just do a television show in which he and Alan Moore (huge-bearded Northampton writer and wizard) go around the UK revealing the hidden histories behind everyday places, on the lines of their expose that Winston Churchill’s broadcasts in WW2 were actually delivered by a pig. If Stewart actually reads this article and gives up standup forever, this will be his last show, which is yet another reason to catch it.
 

4 Poofs and a Piano
Pleasance Courtyard, August 3-28 (not 17), 6pm
Tim Minchin isn’t going to be at Fringe, so we just need to listen to his advice. And if Tim Minchin says they are funny, they must be fucking funny.  4 Poofs rose to fame (or descended to it) as Jonathan Ross’s backing group on his late-lamented chat show. Neil says that watching them perform “Do You Take it in the Arse?” as a warm-up song the night the person signing for the deaf was a comedic highlight of his life, and is vagely hoping that someone will be signing their show.
 

Hannibal Buress – My Name Is Hannibal: The Hannibal Montanabal Experience
Pleasance Courtyard, August 3-29 (not 15), 9.45pm
This comic comes recommended straight from the lips of Eugene Mirman, who brought me straight to the doorstep of Reggie Watts and has never steered me wrong. And Chris Rock approved. We’ll be checking this one out fo’ shizzle. 
 

Anton’s Uncles - Theatre Movement Bazaar
Bedlam Theatre, August 5-27, 2pm, 3.30pm
An Uncle Vanya re-thinking from an LA-based group that I keep hearing about. No idea if this one is going to live up to the hype, but I’m very excited to check it out. Plus…this one is smack in the middle of the day and that’s the only time I can handle the Russians. Right after I’ve had my coffee.
 

Futureproof – Traverse Theatre & Dundee Rep
Traverse Theatre, August 6-28 (not 8, 15 and 22), times vary
Clearly…almost any play featuring a traveling freak show must be worth a visit, just for the educational value. Especially if the show features conjoined twins named Lillie and Millie. I’m going to try to check this one out early in the season, because if Lillie and Millie are willing to come do a guest appearance at the Evelyn Evelyn show towards the end of the month, there could be a possibility of a conjoined twin four-way. And that could make Fringe history. I’m game.
 
Robin Ince: Struggle for Existence, Buffs Club (RAOB), August 5-16, 9.30pm AND Star Corpse Apple Child, The Canons’ Gait, August 6-17, 12.10am
This is the description stand-up comedian Robin Ince gives on the Fringe website: “We are all freaks. Let’s be honest, I’m just filling space here. What would persuade you to come to my show? I mean I’ve won awards and had good reviews, but I’ve also lost awards and had bad reviews. I may waste one hour of your life, we might not get on, and that is the way of it. Do you like Kristin Hersh?”. Well, I’ll be. I DO like Kristin Hersh. At least, I love her new book. Clearly we should go see Robin Ince’s stand-up show. 
 

Dance Marathon – Bluemouth Inc.
Traverse @ Lyceum Rehearsal Room, Departure Point Traverse Theatre, August 3-14 (not 4, 8 and 11), 7.15pm
I think we should all agree that a “genuine endurance contest and staged performance event” in which “hopeful amateurs can mix with…performers under the direction of floor judges….” is going to be something that we cannot live without. The question is: is there an open bar, or drink service TO the dance floor? If not, are flasks allowed? It’s FOUR hours. But the show description promises that people like Neil Gaiman (who Hates To Dance) are allowed to skulk back into the bleachers and watch with horror while the exhibitionists try to out-dance each other. I’m glad I caught this one early, as I will have to go shopping for new sneakers. Sneakers are dreadfully expensive in Scotland, and you don’t even call them Sneakers. You call them trainers, which is strange and confusing.
 
If you’re feeling sultry, there’s… Kabarett at The Voodoo Rooms, (Aug 6-27, 7.15pm and midnight) where I did a quick ninja gig last year. It’s a fine concoction of weird and wonderful performers for free. Dee (who runs it) really has her finger on the pulse of who’s pushing boundaries and her nights definitely stand out, particularly with the slight burlesque overload currently happening in Scotland. Go see. 
 

And according to the underground on the ground… a lot of people are also talking about Jigsaw (Pleasance Courtyard, August 3-29, 5.45pm), a sketch show at the Pleasance Courtyard. The three performers are all noteworthily rad (Dan Antopolski, Tom Craine, and Nat Luurtsema) and everyone’s looking to see what they come up with… so we may just have to see if it’s all it’s cracked up to be. 
 

Dave Gorman’s Power Point Presentation
Assembly George Square, August 3-28, 7.40pm
They changed the Google algorithm to make Googlewhacks a thing of the past. Probably soon it will be illegal to call people Dave Gorman. This, following on from those two adventures, may be the first Power Point presentation we’ve ever not hated.
 

Feeling like a little bit of WTF at the end of the night…?
Go to Spanktacular! (Udderbelly’s Pasture, August 13 and 20, 12.35am) at Udderbelly’s Pasture. According to one of my friends: “all the cool kids go to Spank at the Underbelly. Every year. Fact. It’s basically the place comedians (and other artists) perform at when their heads are fried.” As they advertise: awesome comedians, musicians, controlled anarchy. This jam is, according to my friends, where the dregs of society wind up to let off steam. clearly where we will be drinking.
 
   
The Penny Dreadfuls
Pleasance Courtyard, August 4-29, various times
We love the Penny Dreadfuls comedy team. While they are not doing an ensemble show this year, they are doing three solo shows: “David Reed’s Shamblehouse” (many characters, comedy abut “love, loss and haunting”), “Humphrey Ker is Dymock Watson: Nazi Smasher!” (the true-ish story of Humphrey’s Nazi-fighting grandfather, with jokes and a magic trick), and the potentially deeply disturbing “Thom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD” (in which Thom Tuck has watched lots of Disney straight to DVD sequels and tells you which ones to avoid). Obviously of these three wonderful shows the only one we can wholeheartedly recommend here is “Thom Tuck Goes Straight to DVD” because he was the first of the three to reply to us on Twitter.

 
HOIK!!!!!!!!
hope that’s enough to keep you busy for the moment.
 
IF IF IF IF you have any of your own recommendations, reviews or shows to plug…ADD THEM BELOW IN THE COMMENTS!!!!
i’ll be checking in frequently.
 
LOVE
afp

the art of audience courtship

hola my dear comrades.
 
the other night i wound up talking into the wee hours with neil and margaret cho, and wanted to share some important things i’ve learned.
before i do that, though, the weather. if you’re not from the west coast or europe, skip this news. it’ll just make you SAD.
also, i owe you guys a fringe list of shit that neil and i are going to (or have already seen)….it’s coming.
 
so news quick:
 
……………….
 
ONE: the european shows are selling great, and thank you all for tweeting and facebooking and telling telling telling people. it helps. please keep it up. i’ve added FANTASTIC FUCKING SUPPORT BANDS in every city, including jason webley in amsterdam, bitter ruin in the UK, and more….click up above on “live” as always and see the magic information. 
 
TWO: we’re in edinburgh until the end of august (with the exception of the glasgow show) and i’ve been promising, on twitter, a blog with ALL THE SHOWS/PLAYS and stuff that neil & i are going to see (much of it with the splediferous maddy & holly gaiman accompanying us), and i swear to god i’ll do that next…probably tomorrow. hang tight. 
 
THREE!!!: neil and i are going to do a WEST COAST tour TOGETHER in early november. i know, right? i would love to call it the “GET A ROOM” tour. but i don’t even think we’re calling it anything. we’re just getting in a car with some posters, t-shirts, a ukulele and a couple of iPods and makin’ like jack kerouac up the west coast….with more iPods and also not sleeping in trains and probably with way less drugs. whatever. we’re hip. we’re going to hit these cities…and venues will be announced/tickets will go on sale sometime in the next few weeks. stay CLOSELY TUNED, some cities will sell out VERY FUCKING FAST:
 
Oct 28&29 i have SOLO shows in san diego and LA….then neil & i join forces for:
 
Oct 31st - Halloween Night in Los Angeles, CA
 
Nov 3rd - San Franfuckingcisco, CA
 
Nov 4th - Sacramento, CA
 
Nov 7th - Portland, OR
 
Nov 8th - Seattle, WA
 
Nov 9th - Vancouver, BC, Canada!
 
the 10th is Neil’s birthday and we’ll probably spent it hanging out in seattle, helping Jason Webley make papier mache coffee percolators or something equally absurd for his big seattle show on the 11th.
 
 
yes, friends. it is indeed 11/11/11 and according to our gospel, the rapture is going to come and suck up everyone who’s in the moore theater in seattle at 11:11 pm on that day and transport us to a Better Place where money doesn’t exist, all eggs are chocolate eggs, vegans can eat sausage without guilt, all people are in love and yet alone and happy, cigarettes don’t kill you and there’s an endless loop of Neutral Milk Hotel’s “In The Aeroplane Over the Sea” blasting over the cloud-speakers which you always hear as if you were hearing it for the first time. or it’ll just be a really good Jason Webley show. but given he’s been looking into (i kid you not) “renting ships,” i don’t think he’ll disappoint. 
 
………………………………..
 
 
so 
 
one of the first nights we got here we pulled a fringe marathon and wound up around midnight at a huge show called “best of the fest” where margaret cho was performing along with 4 or 5 other stand-up comedians. i’ve seen margaret a million times…i toured with her on cyndi lauper’s true colors tour, and i’ve seen her kill a house of thousands in boston. 
 
her humor is not your standard stand-up humor. she has made an art out of oversharing the most personal of details, an art that i find more admirable and brave than extreme arctic rock climbing or … some shit. anyway…she’d ben put on the bill at this fringe multi-comedian night where famous/emerging stand-up comic acts play to a house of about 1,000 people.
margaret, like most of the comedians, had a 15 minute slot. all the other comedians were men.
 
she was great, but she bombed. how’s this possible?
well, she wasn’t great according to the people who were there. it wasn’t her crowd, and she wasn’t playing standard material. it didn’t work.
the crowd was an assortment of tourists and middle-aged festival goers out for a little laugh. they had no interest in hearing about maragret’s horror at the moment the became convinced that the guy never called her back was because she’d trimmed her asshole hair unevenly. they were like: this is not funny, we do not want to know this. 
 
even *i* was uncomfortable and embarrassed to be sitting there, watching all these uncomfortable other people, as margaret fell into a deeper hole every minute.
a few nights ago i went to margaret’s actual show, where she ruled the space and the room, and people found the same story hilarious. 
 
why?
 
i was really dumbfounded….but i also got it. margaret’s show isn’t based anymore on reeling in strangers, it’s based on playing to her audience. she’s HILARIOUS, beyond funny, since she makes a sort of commjnity art out of stand-up. her audience KNOW her, they TRUST her, they’ve been following the plot. what she does behind the closed doors of her own venue is very fucking different from what is expected of you when you get in front of a crowd of strangers who don’t know you from a hole in the wall.
 
i’ve been confronted with the same sort of problems in the past.
 
what i do isn’t for everybody.
 
i was telling margaret about how i bombed at one of my first big solo shows, playing support for death cab for cutie at a giant stadium in boston.
i loved death cab. but their fanbase was really awful…for me, at least. i pounded out song after song of angst-y passion while people talked and texted and ignored me. playing louder or more passionately did not make a difference. these people gave no fuck. there was nothing i could do to win them over.  i did not have my new bag of tricks. people are a fickle bunch.
 
i’ve been in these painful situations especially when i go from a hardcore tour into a strange situation, like a benefit on an off night, and i forget that everybody in the room doesn’t know me.
the minute people aren’t on your side, in your story, following your plot, it calls for an entirely different kind of action. i’ve learned that the hard way, over the years. i’ve also learned how to play to an audience that will never, never listen to or like you and not take it too personally. which is, of course, impossible. especially when you’re used to being with Your People and talking a language they understand.
 
as margaret said : “i couldn’t even remember how to be that other person.”
i think it’s a lot like being married for years and then trying to go back to flirting as a single after years and years of marriage. you forget the rules of courtship.
 
but you’re married. you don’t need the rules anymore.
 
margaret and i are more or less married to our audiences … in an international orgy of pounding, laughing, happy-to-be-togehter gays, artfags, freaks and other assorted folks.
we’ve both spent years and years developing and working on our relationship, establishing trust and creating a dialogue. there are in-jokes. you’re a family. 
 
when i left the dresden dolls and went solo, i was so relieved to finally be able to talk to the audience (brian wasn’t so big on my endless banter) that i actually went off the deep end.
i had friends coming up to me, as if i had a crack habit, or a really bad drinking problem, saying “amanda…i don’t know if anyone has talked to you about this, but….do you know that you talked for 60% of your entire show? and you weren’t even funny?” i knew that. but i didn’t care. i was finally in control, so i was out of control. but it was the balm that i needed at the time. some people loved it. some didn’t. i didn’t care. i needed it, for me. and the people that i drew into me stayed with me. i wasn’t interested in having a bunch of mindless sex with strangers who wouldn’t remember my name the next day. i wanted people to commit. god knows i wasn’t getting that from a real relationship back then…i was on the road. the only person i had any consistant contact with was, occasionally, my soundguy, whose intimate relationship with me involved drunkenly stumbling and falling asleep on top of me one night when he forgot i was in the hotel bed on the left. (trivia: he didn’t get up either. he fell asleep on me and snored until i shouted at him. hi dave.)
 
the point was, and i started losing it, was this: you make a choice as an artist to try to please a sliding scale
 
1) yourself
2) your fans
3) everybody
 
there’s an inverse proportion that goes on. if you stick truly to what you care about and talk about what you want to talk about, your don’t have to care, or even be interested, but they’ll probably repsect your authenticity. the minute you start aiming to please your fans and going against your intuition, you start losing your footing. this isn’t to say you can’t write songs or make art that’s geared towards provoking a reaction in people…clearly you’re going to do that. but you have to follow your strong initial impulses, not listen to hard to what those around you are excited to hear. and the minute you attempt to please everybody, you are truly screwed. the moment you attempt to please everybody is the moment you please nobody…including yourself.
 
it’s very similar to the basic rules of courtship….most people aren’t attracted to people racing to the middle, people (unless they’re highly insecure and deluded) aren’t usually attracted to people who make a point of telling them what they want to hear. 
 
just today, i twittered gleefully about finishing a new ukulele song (which i did. i’m very happy to be finished. i’ve been trying to write/finish this one for 5 months now. how hard can it be? whevs.)
i was also especially happy that i managed to incorporate a slew of words that floated in through twitter late one night when i was up in utrecht, working on the lyrics, and got stuck. i asked for suggestions, and hundreds of people sent them in….leading me to actually add a section to the song that wasn’t there before, and it sounds awesome.
 
then somebody twittered: “Twitter-dictated lyrics and yet another uke song? Didn’t you want to quit the novelty songs and start making music again? :(“
 
this song is music. every song i write is music. 
 
whatever i’m making, i’m making. i’m very committed to doing what i feel like doing.
 
to me, that’s the true art. not the music. not the songs, silly or serious. not the product. but the art of doing what you’re drawn to do, regardless of who gives no fuck.
 
 
back and forth forever.
 
))<>((
 
AFP

machine gun or penis? any way you cut it….

this one was too good to just twipic.
i’m still putting together an edinburgh blog.
 
a few weeks ago, my friend alina simone took me on a adventure with her to brighton beach, brooklyn, in order to research an article an article for the new york times about why russians refuse to put ice in their drinks.
 
the article is up HERE: opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/03/ice-enough-already/
 
for her article she really, really wanted to buy a kalashnikov (that’s an AK-47 to you and me, kids) of vodka, which they sell in every other bodega in brighton beach.
i shit you not.
 
they look like this:

 
 
i mean….she thought it would be awesome to have a little sidenote in her article about nonchalantly carrying this kalashnikov of vodka.
i think she thought it was going to make the russians more overtly friendly to her ice questions.
 
but she didn’t buy a kalashnikov of vodka.
 
instead, she made me purchase penis brandy.
 
and she didn’t mention in the new york times article that she forced me to spend $50 on said penis-shaped bottle of brandy. ie, a bottle of brandy in the shape of a penis.
 
i don’t even LIKE brandy.
 
after all was said and done, she figured the new york times would edit that shit right out. they probably would have.
but here it is - with a life of its own - on my blog, for good measure:
 

 
if you look VERY, VERY, VERY carefully, it is fucking the statue of liberty.
 
 
 
 
xxx
AFP

amy, take a bow.

is it wrong to want to live on your own?
no, it’s not wrong 
but i must know
how can someone so young
sing words so sad 

sheila take a
sheila take a bow
boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear
and don’t go home tonight
come out and find the one that you love and who loves you
the one that you love and who loves you

- the smiths

hola dear comrades….quicklike/newslike:

EDINBURGH: on aug 14 at 2 o’clock i’m going to be on a discussion panel at Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society called “Cabaret 2.0”. it’s free, but you need to grab tickets. i’ll be talking openly with a bunch of other cool people about how we Do Cabaret In a Postmodern World. should be fun. LINK.

i’ve got dates in edinburgh, glasgow, brighton, london, vienna, amsterdam, san diego, and los angeles, all coming this summer/fall. tickets are selling steadily, some venues are nearing sold out. come be with me, i need you, and spread the word if you haven’t already, and thank you in advance for dancing your ass off. all tickets/info HERE. 

also….if you’re in brighton, london, vienna and amsterdam and know any horn players…i need help thieving some brass. info about that is HERE. help a thieving band out.

(written july 23rd, 2011)

it’s been a few days of lovedeath joy, is what it’s been.

i looked at kate across the morning coffee cafe table today and just said “i love you” for no real specific reasons because sometimes you just gotta do that when you’re surrounded by the reminder of mortality. last night on the way to meet nick and his friends for drinks at a bar in brooklyn i read the news about oslo. we dragged zelda williams, an actress that neil sent over to my house (…via, yes, twitter. i love twitter. note the reality: someone tweets that they’re in new york for a night and you simply say: come to brooklyn and drink…and they do). after ciders and loud music and discussions of cinema palaces of the past and how to save and inhabit them, i said: by the way, oslo. lots of people died. there you are in the bar and everybody looks a little more alive than they did ten minutes ago.

me & zelda

the 100 degree night wore on.

we took our living, breathing bags of flesh and bone over to the bellhouse, where 20 people were dancing in the killer heat to lcd soundsystem, and I requested depeche mode, and the dance party moved through le tigre, shirley ellis, pulp and funkadelic. i danced the night away, letting the news shake all over me…looking at the faces around me, singing with my arms, grabbing hands with various friends and swinging onwards. 

got home at 5 am. woke at 11 am. 
and read that amy winehouse had died.

she’s joined jimi, janis, jim and kurt (sadly apropos…it’s the 20th anniversary of “nevermind”) in the 27 club.

and reading the twitter storm that came after … lots of “well, what did you expect” and a lot of anger at people who were making jokes.

and the most profound thing i came across was a series of tweets from the very-much alive kimya dawson, and i thought i’d just share it here, especially for those of you who aren’t on The Twitter.

@mrskimyadawson
I was rooting for Amy Winehouse. What a voice. RIP.
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
It was barely a month past my 26th birthday when I drank & drugged myself into a coma. Got out of ICU & spent a week w/ a friend’s mother
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
My friend’s mom was a nurse & she kept a close eye on me until I could go to inpatient. I did 3 weeks in a dual diagnosis facility in Tacoma
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
The inpatient program was for people with addictions coupled with mental illness. A week after my release was the first Moldy Peaches show.
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
With every loss of a young artist and addict I cry and cry and so much gets stirred up inside of me. I was so fucking lucky that night.
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
My friends were there as I convulsed and threw up blood and choked on my vomit. They carried me down the stairs and drove me to the ER.
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
People who don’t struggle with addiction should never assume someone should simply “clean up their act”. Recovery is battle every single day
2 hours ago

@mrskimyadawson
I need absolutely no sympathy right now. I’m alive. My gratitude grows & grows. I just wish for strength & self love & support for everyone.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
I know that no one can “save” anyone else but know if you’re struggling right now that I love you & hope you can find a way to love yourself
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
Whether you struggle with addiction, mental illness, or whatever I HAVE GOT YOUR BACK and believe you can pull yourself up and start to heal
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
If you had told me then what the journey I was about to embark on would encompass I very well would have laughed and spit in your face.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
The first few years of recovery weren’t all love and light. There were fun and amazing moments, but a lot of darkness and getting real.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
I didn’t get better. Life didn’t miraculous become easy peasy. I learned tools & coping mechanisms that help me not get swept up by despair.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
One of the best things I learned was to separate myself from my emotions. And let them be a part of my experience rather than my identity.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
When I can stop & identify feelings I can say “I’m experiencing grief & anxiety (or whatever) right now” then those feelings don’t own me.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
I can value the richness of each emotion without clinging to or pushing away any particular feelings. I feel them all and move through them.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
Getting honest and accountable and learning to let go are also huge for me. Not letting myself isolate. Helping myself by helping others…
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
I have read tons of books from different recovery programs. I have been to all kinds of meetings. I have talked to thousands of people.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
It requires constant work to not go back down that road. Being able to truly appreciate life’s ups, downs, twists, turns makes it worth it.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
Find some kind of group or program or community. Tell your story. Speak it or sing it or write it down. Get honest. Dig deep.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
Listen to or read about other people’s journeys. Know that no matter how alone you feel you are absolutely not alone. You were never alone.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
The tattoos on my arms cover many scars. I starting burning myself YEARS before I started drinking or had heard of other “self mutilators”.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
But there isn’t a self inflicted scar on these arms less than 12 years old. Imagine these arms wrapped around you and squeezing tight.
1 hour ago

@mrskimyadawson
When I was in the middle of it all I would have fucking hated the me that I am being now and felt all this blather was bullshit.
59 minutes ago

@mrskimyadawson
To those of you who think all this sounds impossible I hope some of these ideas stick and someday it starts to come together for you.
58 minutes ago 

i’m with kimya.

there’s heaps of lessons to be learned from watching the downfalls, but there’s absolutely zero to be gained by declaring war on the dead.
following the links, i looked at the recent footage of amy winehouse taken at shows a few weeks/months ago where she’s clearly in pain, clearly losing the plot.
most disturbingly, not seeing the crowd. totally disconnected from the people who are there because they love her music, know every word to every song.
her eyes can’t focus on the people who are there to love her. they’re cheering, they’re rooting for her.

that’s the saddest part to me. that she can’t seem to see them.

i was at an irish bar the other night to see My Friend jeffrey, a cute british guy i met on the train from new york to boston last year. 

get your mind off the monk.

we talked for a few hours about love and life. he was in town with his wife, who was over here for work, and he always brings his lute. would i like to see him play at an irish session?what’s that? i asked.

it’s where people just get together and play. they jam on songs they all know, they take turns singing, sharing, soloing. for each other and for anyone who’s there to watch and clap and dance.
a hootenanny. so last year, during cabaret, i snuck off and went to see this happening at an irish pub in boston. and i saw 40 irish-folk musicians in a bar with an audience of about 13 people. the ratio was stunning. they were all just jamming for joy. 

a few nights ago he was back in NYC, and emailed me about a session going on at a bar called paddy reilly’s. so i took a bunch of friend over. there was almost nobody there. 5 musicians on a makeshift little stage, maybe 8 people watching the band, plus 12 people at the bar. but these musicians were playing for the love, playing for each other, swapping off songs and melodies, inviting up pals to dance, schedule-free. jeffrey is about 75. the kid playing the drum and fiddle and dancing was 13. in between, were some guys in their 30s and 40s. glasses of foaming “vitamin g” (as jeffrey called it) were poured from the tap at the bar and carried with great ceremony to the musicians. after the kid did a round of amazing irish dancing with his tippity-tappity shoes to our encouraging whoops and hollers, he finished with a flourish and we all cheered at maximum volume. the kid had blown our minds with his talent. we yelled out love, the bar whistled and clapped out love, the bartender yelled out love…..jeffrey nudged the boy, who he’d never really met, to take a bow. the boy was too shy…he didn’t do it. he quietly sat down, not looking around, blushing, picked up his fiddle….looked at the floor, didn’t even smile. jeffrey shook his lute at him: “get up! get up! they want you to bow!!!” the boy shook his head. a new song started, the moment passed. i sang an a cappella song. the band kept banding.
the drinks kept coming. the beautiful dancers hit the box once more. (that’s jeffrey, to the close left of the hot legs):

when that set was over, i high-fived jeffrey, and i introduced myself to the lad. 
jeffrey, three guinnesses strong, took him by the shoulders. 

“you need to acknowledge the audience”, jeffrey said. “it’s part of the whole circle”.

the kid, eyes downcast, nodded.

“you know”, jeffrey said, “…there are some nights when you pick up your instrument and it just doesn’t want to sing, doesn’t want to play right, and you shake that thing and it just doesn’t do what you want, the sounds don’t come out right, and you just can’t get the music to sound like music. it’s like lead in your hands.”

the kid looked up, nodded.

“and then there’s that moment when you look out and you see one person in the audience, with their eyes lit up, smiling at you, you make eye contact, they’re breathing in quick, and all of a sudden your instrument comes to life, and it sings….”

the boy nodded and nodded

“….and that person feels it, and you feel it, and then the whole room feels it, and that, my boy, that moment…..”

and jeffrey waved his arms in the air, guinness sloshing onto the irish pub floor

“…that connection is why we’re all here, that moment is why we do this, that moment what we call love.”

and the boy smiled, and he looked at me

i said “if you don’t bow, if you don’t look out there and just give a wink, you break the connection. they need you, the crowd. they need to know that you feel them and you’re with them. and when it’s over, if they love you, and they’re cheering, they want to know that their gratitude has hit you and is moving through you…and that you’re giving it back to them, that you’re grateful in return. if you lose track of them, this whole thing doesn’t work. they need to SEE you SEEING them. they need to know they’re there. it’s a two way street. that’s why you bow. get it?”

he got it.

amy take a
amy take a bow. 

for a moment there, we saw you.

come out and find the one that you love

and who loves you.

rest in peace.

“Amy Winehouse, British Soul Singer With a Destructive Image, Dies at 27”
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/arts/music/amy-winehouse-british-soul-singer-dies-at-27.html

paddy reilly’s
http://paddyreillysmusicbar.us/

xxx
AFP.

Radiohead and Ukulele have a birthday…and “NO SURPRISES” animated video unveiling….

  
ah, the radiohead video.
it took forever.
and then it was DONE!
BUT, as tends to happen to many things in amanda-landa, the timing to release it wasn’t quite right.
we didn’t want it dropping during the dresden dolls’ tour in november only to have it get overshadowed or further confuse the hell out of people (those people who STILL don’t realize that amanda palmer of the dresden dolls and i are one in the same). and then? let’s see…
and then i wanted to focus on the amazing mr. tristan allen. then australia and the “down under” record.
i got home and did lots of cleaning of all sorts of varieties and then…
wait…
it’s been a YEAR since we released “UkuleleHead”…?
jesus fuck, a fucking YEAR!? oi vey.
 
and so now comrades, as a birthday gift of sorts, on this - the one year anniversary of the release of my very first record FREE OF THE LABEL, “amanda palmer performs the popular hits of radiohead on her magical ukulele” - it’s time to PARTY like it’s LAST FUCKING YEAR!!!!!


 
before you put on your hat and grab your noisemakers though, let me give you some background on the video and tell you about some of the cool things we’re doing TODAY and with the album, moving forward….
 
i made friends with one of the video’s producers, ryan heller, because we were briefly on tour together. his band, aberdeen city, made a handful of recordings with me and acted as my back-up band briefly in july 2007 (almost four years ago to the date, actually). then ryan went to film school in new york, and we stayed in touch through the years…and somehow he talked me into letting him make a video for the radiohead record. i hadn’t been planning on making ANY…since i had no budget and no time, but ryan seemed convinced we could make something awesome and simple and cheap…and he had a team of friends in mind that he’d been hanging with at film school and in new york. he sent over treatments for “idioteque” and “no surprises,” and we decided that “no surprises” would be perfect: a post-heavy hand-drawn animation that would only need me for one day of shooting in new york.
 
you may remember when i blogged about being in new york and shooting, when i relayed that i’d spent the day in someone’s apartment in a bathtub wearing a bra borrowed from one of the crews’ housemates while the director used a turkey baster to make waves for my hair to move around in (PROOF), and the result is as beautiful as you’d expect from such a loving and bizarre effort.
 
in order to fully understand this video, you kind of need some radiohead education if you don’t know the original clip, which you can watch here:
 

 
it’s a brilliant concept and a beautiful, simple, dramatic video. if you’ve seen the radiohead documentary “meeting people is easy,” you’ll probably remember the part where they show the footage of poor thom yorke almost choking to death (way to suffer for your art, thom):
 

 
….and our animation is a direct homage. except *SPOILER SPOILER* i die at the end.

oh, and one more thing about the making-of: there’s actually an *INTERACTIVE* HTML5 version of this video which sean and matt dunphy (@leviathant) were putting together last fall (some of you may have seen a few sneak peak stills)…it incorporates a BEAUTIFUL poem (“Imagine It Thick In Your Own Hair”) by Robert Kelly, introduced to me by heide hatry but - as i was saying - things shift quick in amanda-landa. maybe when UkuleleHead turns two, we’ll put it out…

   
a few words from ron (who directed it) and the full production credits & twitter addys for the fine folks who helped him…..send them some twitterage love if you dig the video, they’d be happy to hear from you, obvi.
When I heard Amanda’s cover of “No Surprises,” which is one of my favorite Radiohead songs, I really wanted to pair it up with animated visuals. We filmed Amanda singing the track to make a video reference for the rotoscoping process. Amanda went through the entire song around a dozen times, singing along with her recording. We also filmed her submerged in the bathtub to help with animating her hair in the underwater section of the video. I really love the look of rotoscoped animation because of the way it captures details like natural movement and facial expressions. Marcos Sanchez is a Chilean artist with a unique style that I find very moving, and I knew he could give the video a one-of-a-kind, handmade look.
 
Directed by Ron Eyal (@roneyal): Ron Eyal is a New York-based director of films and music videos. His debut feature - “Stranger Things” - won the 2010 Woodstock Film Festival Best Narrative Feature award, and he was recently selected as one of Filmmaker Magazine’s 25 New Faces of Independent Film.
 
Animation by Marcos Sánchez: Marcos Sánchez  is an artist, animator and filmmaker. He was born and lives in Santiago, Chile. He has directed short films, music videos and commercials, some of which have screened at international film festivals. You can see more of his work at marcossanchezd.com
 
Produced by Robert Profusek, Ryan Heller, Ryan Silbert
Cinematographer Eleanor Burke (@eleanorburke)
Production Assistant Nikita Liamzine
A Toy Closet Films Production in association with Scissor Studios 
 
….
 
…we’re going to be adding new links and surprises ALLLLLLL day long to keep shit FRESH on the video-splash-page…

allow me to explain some of what we’re announcing in the next 24 hours (and some stuff you’ll see right off the bat):
* the whole damn EP is just $1 and contains a digital-only bonus track (an alternate version of “creep” which didn’t make it to the vinyl or CD)
* “wait, CD?” - YES! we are currently pressing the record to CD so that i can bring it on tour with me this august and september. it’s going to be CHEAP and will be at the merch booth starting with my show in edinburgh on august 25th…SOOOOOOOO, if you don’t have your tickets yet, here’s another awesome reason you need to come see me. check out the dates and get your tickets HERE.



* you’ll see a link to share the page on twitter, facebook, and google+ to share it with friends…check it out, as we’ll be giving away stuff ALLLLL day and night at random (info HERE). 
* lastly, as an extra-special-bonus, we’re putting up a link to the original footage of my lip-sync (used for marcos to animate from), and some other randomness…that’ll be towards the end of the day (EST)…i hope you enjoy.
 

  
and on that note, i set you loose to watch, share, (maybe) win, and share in the UKULELEHEAD BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!!!

it’s right on the splash page at amandapalmer.net or you can click one of the following links to watch it on the respective site:



or




power & mai-tais, 
XXX 
AFP

answers to your songwriting questions, and a video of a man in his underwear.

good day lovers
 
here’s a Thing to Look At:
 
one of my ol’ school favorite bands, they might be giants (how brilliant is “flood”? best album ever), just put up a winner for a fan-made video contest, and MAN am i jealous of their fans.
we should have a fan-off. a fan-art off. that sounds dirty. 
 
but this is some seriously dope shit, i just love the guy who made this. 
something about tighty whitey underwear always makes me smile.
(but gentlemen, if you really want to know: boxer briefs. boxer briefs. let me say it again: boxer briefs. one more time: boxer. briefs.)
 

 

and answers to some of your songwriting questions….since i barely got a chance to get to them today during the seminar.
the seminar was wonderful, i know a lot of you tuned into the webcast (and if you didn’t, you can watch the archived clip, HERE). there were almost 1,000 kids, and they asked some really fantastic (and some totally unintelligible) things….
and we got treated to some great young talent…kids playing songs they’d written just days before, it was really fucking refreshing.
i hope berklee doesn’t ban me for life for comparing unwritten songs to dead babies in closets and taking the metaphor way too far.
 
i, as usual, planned nothing and winged it, but i think i did ok.
 
the best part of the day was actually NOT captured on the webcast….it was after i signed for about 50+ kids, and a few straggling songwriters had to balls to ask me if i would listen to their songs since they hadn’t gotten a chance during the seminar. so i asked berklee to let us squat there, and we did a mini campfire ninja-gig on the stage after everybody left, and the talent and bravery of these kids was staggering. i wish i’d saved their names, but chances are you’ll see them out there in the great rock cesspool of love. 
 
i wonder what it feels like. to be 16 right now, and want to make it as a songwriter. and your landscape is youtube, twitter, rebecca black, lady gaga….and the strange, true music you’re exposed to comes over the waves of the internet, from blogs…not from the bottom of a remainders case at a used record shop, or a fanzine, or a boyfriend who fucks up your life but makes you the most fabulous mixtapes. i wonder. i wonder if these guys have playlists saved from the boys who broke their hearts in eighth grade. i fucking hope they do. bring back the mix tape.
 
and speaking of, i’ve been cleaning….and i found an old mixtape that was full of senior year music: the spin doctors, the doors, cream, pixies, jimi hendrix….good lord, i was a stoner.
the tape snapped, and i had to perform surgery on it and case it in a new house, which involved unspooling an old cassette full of shubert sonatas.
 
 
 
 
note: i have been fixing everybody’s grammar when it’s unbearable.
i do this on twitter too, when i retweet people. 
 
i consider it a public service.
 
 
ok here we go:
 
arianna marie asked:
when you’re writing a song and your getting into it, writing down real genuine raw thoughts, ideas,  feelings and things that have happened to you, do you ever stop and wonder if your sharing too much? or do you feel the opposite and feel that you have to put everything out there?  2) is there such a thing as sharing too much when your creating a song??

no, there’s no such thing as sharing too much…if it serves the song. and hurting people has to be taken into consideration.
not avoided, but taken into consideration. that’s always dangerous.
 
there was a girl today who sang a song called, i think, “both places at the same time.”
i couldn’t make out a lot of the lyrics in the verse, but it was a beautiful, longing sentiment….wishing and yearning to be in two places at once. everybody knows this feeling.
 
we chatted after, and i asked her about what inspired the song. she talked shyly about how she’d been accepted to a prestigious soccer camp (or equivalent) but had chosen to come to berklee summer school instead. 
 
i’m glad i did not have that detail.
 
if you know what i mean.
 
but it doesn’t mean the emotion isn’t real, and hugely valid….that detail would have just trivialized, narrowed, and killed the bigness of the song.
 
so sometimes it’s best to keep it vague and relatable.
sometimes your deep feelings about the death of your cat can turn into a deep song on the nature of mortality, keeping the cat out of the picture. 
or maybe it’s the saddest most specific song about a dead cat we’ll ever hear.

as i spoke about on the webcast, i keep this leonard cohen quote taped up next to my piano:


 
really depends what you’re going for.
 
 
David asked: 
How soon in the writing of a song can you usually tell if it’s going to be a hit (or a dud), and how can you tell? I remember an anecdote you’ve told  about when you only had the riff of Astronaut, and were told by a friend “That’s going to be a hit.”

it’s funny. that wasn’t quite what they said. it was conrad, from trail of dead, and all he heard was the BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM intro riff and he looked up and asked: “is that yours” and i said yes, and he said: “that’s going to be a good one, isn’t it.” i think conrad abhors the idea of “the hit” as much as i do, we indie types use it purely ironically. plus, what’s a hit nowadays? “friday”? exactly.
 
but a good song…i can tell pretty fast. i can tell when an idea is a great-song idea, and then when i get the tune in my head, i can tell that there’s great potential, and then if i nail my ass to a chair and write the thing, i can tell immediately if the thing is working and flowing, or not.
 
i’ve had a brilliant idea for a ukulele song that occurred to me months ago. i have a draft going, but i cannot seem to make it sounds as good as it sounds in my head, so i keep abandoning it. 
that’s how many songs die….they don’t live up to their head-potential, so they get drowned in the lake.
 
but i can tell immediately when a song is just WORKING. and those songs, the ones that come fast and good and right without huge effort, those are always the best ones.
 

esmertina asks:
So many of your lyrics are profoundly meaningful for people, just look at the number of AFP lyric tattoos.  Do you ever struggle to come up with a tattoo-worthy line, or do you find that those are the ones that just come to you?  If you applied the “tattoo test” as you were writing, as a way to evaluate whether a lyric was “there” or not … would this inspire or paralyze you?

 
egads. you know, a good lyric is just a good lyrics.
 
this is that moment where i point out that once you make a thing, it’s not yours anymore. so if someone wants to get a lyrics i’ve written tastefully tattooed to their arm in small italic font or scrawled across their ass in giant balloon letters, there’s fuck all i can do about it except be flattered (and in the case of balloon-ass person, possibly slightly sympathetic). 
 
so no, i never think: “OMG, what a perfect tattoo this lyric will be!!!!” - that’s just totally backwards. that’s like thinking: “oh my god, when i go to the bakery with the amazing magical cake, i’m going to get SUCH amazing pictures to show my facebook friends of me eating the magical cake!!!”
 
although i do sometimes wonder if that’s what society has come to.
 
but no. i don’t write for tattoos.
 
 
angi asked:
Can you write a song anywhere or do you have a specific space for that where you need to be alone with your thoughts?
 

you know, i used to think i had to be at home to write, until i realized i was full of shit. it’s still easier for me, but nowadays, i can write anywhere i can get access to a piano and total privacy.
the total privacy is key. i can’t handle the phone, or people knocking, or immediate shit to do when i’m writing, it keeps my brain in the land of the mundane.
 
i effectively manage my own career, with help from a ton of people who need me around all the time, and the balance of doing songwriter VS boss is a pretty ugly one.
so my space is really about buying myself time away from emails and phone calls, regardless of where the physical writing is happening.
 

A Marieclaires asked:
I would also like to know how right or wrong it is to subconsciously pick up melodies from other song writers, even if it’s from the classical era or maybe something you heard on tv that day. As an artist this has always been something that bothers me.

 
HA. the truth remains: “talent borrows, genius steals”. honestly, everything IS stolen and appropriated. EVERYTHING. from back to mozart to gaga to madonna, it’s all a continuum. 
theft is WAY better when you don’t know you’re doing it, though.
 
it was a year after i wrote “the jeep song” (on the dresden dolls’ first record) that i realized i stole (not borrowed, not slightly cribbed: STOLE) the opening melody straight out of a sebadoh song.
i’d had no idea. i was REALLY EMBARRASSED. 
go listen: http://youtu.be/TRnmcqQgMWQ
you’ll hear the rip-off in about 6 seconds.
 
but you know who cared?
nobody.
 
not even lou barlow, when i told him. he thought it was nice.
 
so, yeah, no worries.
everything is stolen….ish.
if you can make a good song with frankensteined pieces from 6 other songs, go for it. i don’t care. as long as your song is its own new entity, with something new to reflect out of the mashed-up ashes.
 
 
oh and one more thing. morrissey did a dick thing. he banned one of his biggest fans from a show after the fan traveled 5,000 miles to see him, because he hated the guy’s fansite.
i imagine it MAY have been more complicated than that….but it might not have. oh, morrissey. http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/musicblog/2011/jul/14/morrissey-fans
 
i promise, if you make a fan site i hate, i’ll send you traffic and cheesecake.
 
 
LOVE 
afp
 
 
p.s. coming tomorrow, the long lost radiohead video.