Oh this must be some kind of mistake. Why would anyone not want to date Cameron Diaz? People magazine, please find a patronizing source and see if they can provide any clarity.
“They are broken up right now. They are still very close. There was always a certain magic between them.”
Calling the decision mutual, the source says: “They’re still close friends and will continue to be close friends. They have considerable respect for each other.”
I’m not really sure I’d call what they had “magic”. I think they just got along because they’re both super rich and both dumb as rocks. She could have the same rapport with someone who jingled a set of keys in front of her.
Katy Perry arrived in Rio today, and she and a friend wore some Carmen Miranda masks as they made their way out of the airport. Because she’s a weirdo. I guess she thought it would be cute but it’s not. It’s freaking me the fuck out. If a girl ever walked into the bedroom wearing that I would throw the lamp at her and jump out the window. Bravery is for suckers!
Lindsay Lohan was called into court back in July because, brace yourself, she hasn’t been fulfilling the obligations of her probation, including the 480 hours of community service she was ordered to complete. If that sounds familiar it’s because it’s exactly what she did last time too.
So did the judge finally get through to her this time, and is Lindsay finally being responsible? Oh you’ll never guess.
“Lindsay has completed about 60 hours at the Downtown Women’s Center. Lindsay hasn’t done any time at the morgue,” a source close to the situation tells Radar. “Lindsay has completed her shoplifters awareness class but is falling behind on her other commitments.
“Lindsay’s team is telling her she needs to log significant time to show the judge that she is working towards completing her hours, but she is ignoring them. Lindsay’s rationale is that she has a year to complete the service, so she isn’t concerned about it right now.”
Now she’s due back in court for a progress report on October 17th, and I’m still optimistic that at some point, some judge will pull their head out of their ass and realize this white trash whore is never gonna change ever and just lock her up. I’m delightfully naive, as it turns out.
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling went on another date this week, this time at the Griffith Park Observatory in Hollywood before hiking down the hill to Evas house. Sounds romantic. “Hey Eva, I know you have a $2,000 purse and platform sandals, but how about we go down that sunbaked dusty trail and breathe in all the dirt we kick up, then crawl through some sticker bushes filled with rattlesnakes?”
For the most part, working in Hollywood is just like working anywhere else. All people really want is to go to work, do their job the best they can, and then go home. Which is why it should come as no surprise that the crew of ‘Two And A Half Men’ prefer working with dullard Ashton Kutcher over, um, “fun loving” Charlie Sheen.
Here’s what two of Sheen’s old worker-bees had to say:
“[Ashton] is really a nice guy. Just a nice guy. And he’s OK on set. He gets the job done—that’s what we all want.”
“He’s just not as funny as Charlie. Not that we’d want Charlie back if you doubled our salaries.”
You hear that?
The guys (and gals) who were having trouble paying their mortgages during one of Sheen’s notorious AWOL meltdowns, do not—repeat—do not want him back.
They are very, very clear about that.
But they also freely volunteer that the show, in their veteran opinions, ”just isn’t the same anymore,” and that they find Sheen’s substitute to be more of a “safe replacement.”
Uh, yeah, put me squarely on Ashtons side for this one. If I’m a gaffer on that show, I’d much rather be home by 5 than to have Charlie regaling me with why there’s a nail through his dick at midnight.
A few weeks ago, Ben and Jerrys announced a new limited edition ice cream called ‘Schweddy Balls” (described as, “vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls”), which of course takes it’s name from the famous SNL sketch starring Alec Baldwin.
The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.
The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.
TAKE ACTION
Please send Ben & Jerry’s Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.
Hey, One Million Moms. Guess what. The whole god damn world doesn’t revolve around you and your stupid kid. Ben and Jerrys can make an ice cream with fish hooks and ecstasy tabs in it for all I care. Your kid, your problem. Leave the rest of us alone. And I bet that for every letter you write demanding this be stopped your husbands will write 2 demanding more if thats what it takes to keep your fat asses away from ice cream.
