Dave Barry's Blog

OTHER THAN THAT, IT WAS A FLAWLESS OPERATION

Kenya's national army was called to put out an apartment building blaze in Kiambu after TWO failed attempts by two different fire departments--one fire truck had no water and the other fire engine caught on fire.

(Thankas to Charlie Carballo)

SNOOKI?

What name would you give to a species of Antarctic, sea-dwelling worm that spends its time 2000 metres below the water's surface, wriggling in the rotting carcasses of whales?

(Thanks to Joe in Japan)

FORGET ABOUT DISNEY WORLD, KIDS....

...we're going to the Museum of Insurance!

(Thanks to jon harris)

YET ANOTHER CRITICAL AREA IN WHICH WE ARE FALLING BEHIND CHINA

A Chinese daredevil wowed crowds as he effortlessly pulled a hefty car for more than ten meters... using just his ears.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

INDIANA ART UPDATE

Decorator turns baseball into world's largest ball of paint

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE ASSUME THIS IS ABOUT CHARLIE SHEEN

"We, the undersigned, strongly urge the President of the United States to formally acknowledge an extraterrestrial presence engaging the human race and immediately release into the public domain all files from all agencies and military services relevant to this phenomenon."

(Thanks to Ralph)

IT'S ALWAYS THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK

A long-lost, highly valuable Moon rock brought back from the Apollo 17 mission has turned up in the files of Bill Clinton.

(Thanks to Chris Elzi)

NOT CREEPY AT ALL!

How much breast milk will it take to nourish a grown man? How many days can a grown man life off breast milk comfortably?

(Thanks to Lani)

YOU KNOW THAT SATELLITE THAT'S GOING TO CRASH TO EARTH?

That's not the only thing you should be worried about.

(Thanks to jon harris)

FUN GAL

West Virginia woman busted for allegedly stealing a hearse with dead body inside

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

Update: More-entertaining version here.

(Thanks to Albert York)

WHICH IS OF COURSE THE WHOLE POINT

Ben & Jerry’s ‘Schweddy Balls’ ice cream not so popular with some moms

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

WE SAW PERRY MASON DO THIS ONCE

Patel, who said Armstrong held a knife to her throat, was so rattled by the trial she fainted on the witness stand. Family member and business partner Meena Patel removed her sneaker and held it to Falguni Patel's nose, attempting to revive her with the odor.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

DATING ADVICE OF THE DAY SO FAR

“I'd warn anyone who's in a relationship with a dolphin. You have to plan an exit strategy,” says Mr Brenner.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

THAT SHOULD LIVEN THE PLACE UP

Mexico's Bimbo completes purchase of Fargo

(Thanks to funny man)

THE STOCK MARKET IS, ONCE AGAIN, IN THE TOILET

Time to get productive.

(Thanks to The Amazing Steve)

AT WHICH POINT THEY WILL BE ISSUED FLORIDA DRIVERS' LICENSES

A local town council in central Turkey has built a morgue with a warning system in case dead bodies come back to life.

(Thanks to Mark Schlesinger)

ATTENTION ALL UNITS

The World's Largest Egg Hat has been stolen.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Anil Haji)

WE ALSO FEEL LOUSY DURING CHILDBIRTH, BUT YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING

Men Feel Worse Than Women When Sick

(Thanks to Don Faber)

AS IS HIS CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT

Man Threatened Taco Bell Employee with Shotgun after Forgetting Hot Sauce

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Jeffrey Brown and Chris Elzi)

TODAY'S FEATURED MYSTERY SERIES

Unfortunately our strict policy prohibits us from presenting Today's Featured Mystery Series.

(Thanks to Brian Jones)