Archive for the 'comedy' Category

Nov 08 2007

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Mana

The Wrath of Religiousness Unleashed by Yours Truly

Since my publishing of a series of “Irreverent Halloween” posts, which started with Take Halloween Back from Christians, my blog scored more pro-Christian comments than atheist comments. I’m not complaining, but the large volume prohibited me from properly answering some of the more interesting statements. So here are the top five jaw-dropping, did-she-just-say-that comments, that are too priceless to not discuss:

1. The demonic testimony:

“demons do exist; I was formerly demon-possessed (no my head didn’t spin around) so I know first hand. If you read the New Testament with an open mind, God will show you that it’s the truth.”

There is nothing more powerful to a Christian than testimony, in this case counter-testimony, as in, god must exist because demons exist, and I know because I was possessed by one.

The unanswered question remains, if god is great, why is he not protecting believers and those in faithful families from possession? All possession stories come out of believing circles. Doctors, scientists and non-believers do not appear to have ever been possessed. What ever could protect this latter group from possession by demons?

That was a rhetorical question…

2. The “atheism is religion” counter-attack:

“From what I read, you find your peace in science, which is your god as well, and your religion. If there was no faith in God, you couldn’t be called an atheist today. Why do you rely so much on science? Isn’t it the science that creates monsters? Isn’t it science that “finds” today a cure for a disease which tomorrow proves to be poison? Science….faith in a religion….it’s all the same to me, when it is brought to fanatism.”

There’s nothing more entertaining than playing a game of get-to-know-you. But unless we’re playing charades I think it’s wise to stay away from telling people that because they find peace in something, it would make that something their god. Lately I’ve been finding peace in playing Wii, does that make Wii my god?

Science is not my god, science is no one’s god. It may be someone’s major preoccupation, but chances are those who respect and understand science don’t attribute supernatural properties to science. Also, I can’t think of any monsters that science created, but I can think of a few created by people. Or rather, people turn their own selves into monsters, and many of these monsters came about as an aftermath of religious fanaticism. It is sad that many hide their choices, good or bad, underneath the umbrela of entities outside of themselves. With a few exceptions most humans are personally responsible for the consequences of their actions, and blaming mom, or dad, or a religion, or lack of a religion does not excuse humans from being accountable.

Also I’m pretty sure Marx said “religion is the opiate of the masses” not science, so science creating poison is a new thing to me. Cures that were cures but then stop working were never cures at all, and whoever claimed they were cures, was either lying or delusional, neither being a commandment of the ‘church of science.’ However, people do lie and suffer from delusions.

3. The “God has a plan” spin:

“It really isn’t like the cartoons- a little devil on one shoulder and God on the other- the Big Guy is all-powerful, He could/will/does take Satan down. He also hardens some hearts so that His purposes might be filled. In the end, I don’t know what His ultimate plan is, I don’t know who “will come to the Father through Christ”, but He has called me to share my story and my beliefs.”

If all other arguments fail, just say, “I don’t know what god’s plan is, but I know he has one.” This statement is usually accompanied by a visual like the cartoon one above. As in, let me explain this to you in a way you’ll get–ah, I know! I’ll use a cartoon metaphor, because an atheist such as you can’t possible get anything more complex than that.

Let me break this news to you, atheists know that the cartoon metaphor presenting the dualism between the devil and the angel is nothing but an illustration for the struggle between good versus evil. We don’t actually take that literally.

4. The pseudo-science argument

“Well the DNA is made of molecules, and evolution says random mutations and natural selection is what put us here. Mutation is nothing more than movement of molecules isnt it not? Random DNA mutation means the DNA encoded itself, now thats akin to accidentally generating a 128 bit encryption algorithm, and simultaneously randomly generating the decryption algorthm. Nobody would believe that can ever happen, yet this is what evolutionsts wants us to believe that DNA encoding and decoding procedures (algorithms) were randomly created.”

This comment was so wickedly bad, I did reply to it the following way:

“When you talk about molecules moving I instantly think of Chris Rock talking about pimped-up rims–”they’re spinnin’, they’re spinnin’…”

I’m also seeing the potential that you’re just making fun of creationists here by impersonating all the inane arguments I’ve ever seen brought against science and evolution. I can’t honestly believe you are serious when you say, “Mutation is nothing more than movement of molecules isnt it not?”

Bad grammar aside, and in case I am wrong, and you are serious, the answer is NO. Genetic mutation is not movement of molecules. It’s not about the rims “spinnin’ and spinnin’.”

Mutation is a permanent change in the DNA sequence that makes up a gene. Gene mutations occur in two ways: they can be inherited from a parent or acquired during a person’s lifetime. Mutations that are passed from parent to child are called hereditary mutations or germline mutations (because they are present in the egg and sperm cells, which are also called germ cells). This type of mutation is present throughout a person’s life in virtually every cell in the body.”

5. The apocalypse prediction:

“See what evolution is doing to us, this stupid evolution crap is going to be the cause of the end of this world. ONLY GOD KNOWS how people can believe that we came into existence by random movements of molecules.”

Yep, only god knows how some believe mutation comes from random movement of molecules, or how that’s going to lead to the end of the world.

7 responses so far

Oct 29 2007

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Mana

Ten Best Blogs to Notice…

Why Don’t You Blog listed Skepticum on their “10 best blogs on WDYB’s Blogroll.” I truly appreciate the mention, especially because WDYB is on my list of 10 Best Blogs.

I mostly read blogs that challenge me, not only those that I agree with, and the blogs I consistently read make it on my RSS list, which is absolutely the only way to keep up with all of them.

Here’s a list of ten that appear on my RSS list in addition to WDYB, and that I read on a regular basis (I have more than 10 that I subscribe to) :

Atheist Revolution–vjack, doesn’t miss a beat when it comes to atheist topics.

Middle Aged Vampiress AtheistVamp DiVerL addresses atheist topics with wit and humor.

Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex– Figleaf discusses sexuality in an educated manner, with a sprinkling of naughty thoughts (or more than a sprinkling sometimes).

The Atheocracy–Jeffrey W Hawks has some of the catchiest headlines in the atheist blogosphere.

Black Sun Journal–BlackSun writes (very well I might add) highly educated and well supported arguments against religious myths without appearing belligerent.

The Jesus Myth–Deals with agnostic and atheist topics not just Christian mythology.

The Jewish Atheist–Alan writes very well thought-through posts on sophisticated religious topics.

Tikkun Olam in Nicaragua–Maddy’s travel log shows us how we can make the world a better place one person at a time.

Five Public Opinions– Arthur shows us that people across the world may think the same, and that all is “best viewed with a brain.”

Dictionopolis in Digitopolis–Ben keeps me smiling with his entertainment news and smart-ass comments (smart-ass in this context is a compliment).

There are many more blogs that grace my rss reader, marketing/seo blogs, international blogs, financial sites, news sites, etc that I subscribe to, but I will keep this list to blogs that feel like they have a person (or more) behind them, rather than a news organization. One more mention, for the “deceased” aesahaettr.com. We miss Mel’s contribution to the blogosphere.

14 responses so far

Sep 14 2007

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Mana

“Suck it Jesus” is Hot!

Filed under Society, comedy

The whole Kathy Griffin saying “Suck it Jesus” at the Emmy Awards issue is so hot right now, within 24 hours of my posting a CNN video on YouTube (this is really really CNN’s video, but it is so absolutely awesome I had to post it on YouTube) the video got over 2,000 hits and 41 comments (yeah I got 41 emails today letting me know about the comments).

And here’s how that ranks against other YouTube videos:

#68 - Most Viewed (Today) - Comedy

#97 - Top Rated (Today) - Comedy

#58 - Most Discussed (Today) - Comedy

#58 - Top Favorites (Today) - Comedy

You’ve gotta check out the comments because they are awesome! You’ve got everything in there from “I never did like her. What a jerk. She’s blasphemous and obnoxious” to “Jesus had a sweat ass. I would rather do that then suck it. Better yet a three way with both Jesus and Mohamed,” and “OMG! Who cares if fucking catholics are offended? Just because someone has ’faith’ in an invisible deity, we are automatically supposed to give them respect? They deserve respect because they are irrational? Wake up to reality.”

And to support the fact that this topic was the hot topic of the week in the US, someone has already started (purchased domain and all) and set up the SuckItJesus.com website petition to stop censoring Griffin’s remarks at the Emmy awards.

Next we’re gonna have TShirts, Scary Movie 5 will put this line in their script (remember I predicted this on Sept. 14, 2007), and I might change the name of my blog to “Skepticum. Suck it Jesus!”

Ya gotta love free speech!

3 responses so far

Sep 14 2007

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Mana

Griffin Says “Suck it Jesus”

Filed under Politics, Religion, Society, comedy

Watch Griffin tell Jesus to suck it, and the “controversy” it caused, including a statement from the president of the Catholic League saying that Griffin’s statements were worse than racist.

Within an hour of putting the video up on you tube I had about 200 hits and 10 comments. I couldn’t help be laugh at this comment:

The third commandment of the 10 commandments is not to use God’s (Jesus)name in any other way than in reverence and respect. Put your Mom’s name in Jesus’s place and you would be hurt. But, it’s not our Mom who’s been sinned against…Kathy did it straight to God’s face with approval by the passive audience. Stay tuned folks! (Read the bible for coming events)

So much anger believers have… And are there really only 10 commandments? I thought there were more than that. When I’m king of the world I’ll have 100 commandments and the most serious of them all will be, “if you are clueless shut the fuck up!” The second most serious one will be “if you have no sense of humor, shut the fuck up!”

6 responses so far

Aug 27 2007

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Mana

WOW Dance Inspiration and Social Commentary

Filed under Society, comedy

In case you ever wondered what real characters inspired the dance moves in World of Warcraft (WOW), here’s a video that sheds some light. It sheds light not only on the personas that inspired the dance moves but also on the potential social commentary behind WOW. My favorite is the Napoleon Dynamite dance:

3 responses so far

Aug 24 2007

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Mana

Americans Help You Live Better

Filed under Society, comedy

This ’80s yogurt commercial is a great metaphor for how Americans see their relationship to the world:

No responses yet

Jun 02 2007

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Mana

Outstanding Female Comedian

Filed under comedy

I love comedy!

The other night, while watching the Latin Divas of Comedy 2007 I was highly impressed by a not so well known comedian, Monique Marvez. So, to spread the comedic bug, here is the first part of her stand-up bit. You can see the rest of the video on my vlog. Keep your eyes on this comedian, because she has incredible potential to become a big star.

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May 01 2007

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Mana

Caliendo Does His Best Bush Yet on Letterman

Filed under Politics, comedy

Friday, April 27, The Letterman Show, Frank Caliendo does a wicked Bush impersonation, and talks about the Iraq plan,  “the planning stage of that plan,” and the “plannification.”

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLhQHeyOrnY"]

One response so far

Apr 05 2007

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Mana

American Idol Shocker?

Filed under Society, comedy

microphone.jpgAside of the fact that I think all about American Idol is a Shocker, I got the laughs when I read Maureen Ryan’s column in the Tribune this morning (especially the comments got me laughing). I love Maureen’s columns (who I believe shares my liking for Battlestar Gallactica as well, and wrote some brilliant articles/interviews on this topic).

Here’s a comment to this article that aligns the Americans voting for Sanjaya with companies that outsource, and the War in Iraq. Who knew American Idol can stir up so much emotion to get people saying, “If Sanjaya wins I’m moving to a different country.”

Sanjaya remaining in this contest is a point of a true American ignorance. Can’t sing and yet he remains in a singing competition. That’s as smart as invading a country because of weapons of mass destruction that, well…..uh….. Never existed. I have loved this show until this season and if sanjaya doesn’t leave the show soon, I WILL!!! Wake Up America!!!! Think for yourself and stand up for what’s right. When you make your votes next week, ask yourself something. Would you pay to see Sanjaya in concert? God know I wouldn’t pay to see him in concert or even on pay per view $0.99 night.

Posted by: American Ignorance | Apr 4, 2007 10:27:38 PM

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Apr 03 2007

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Mana

Blog Stats Discoveries

Thanks to the Wordpress Blog Stats I get to see what searches send me readers. The winning search term of today was:

“We shouldn’t let legal immigrants vote”

If the search had said “voting rights of legal immigrants” or ” legal immigrants vote” I would have believed someone wants to know what voting rights legal immigrants have. But the fact that the search said “we shouldn’t let” makes it pretty clear what the intention of the writer was.

Aside from this asinine searcher, I get quite a few hits on my Ceausescu posts, via “Ceausescu trial” searches. I’m glad to see there are people out there interested in European history (I can’t believe it’s been 18 years since Ceausescu’s execution).

The next most popular search is for my favorite comedian Frank Caliendo impersonating Madden, Bush and others.

No responses yet

Feb 11 2007

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Mana

Caliendo Madden Redux

Filed under Blogroll, comedy

In January I posted on “One of the Funniest Comedians Today….”

Letterman had Caliendo/Madden on the show, where “Madden” predicted the Bears and the Colts would go to the Superbowl and would fight for Gary…. “the looser gets Gary.”

Here’s “Madden” again discussing the Superbowl on the Letterman Show Feb. 9, 2007:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apFDewVc6bk]

One response so far

Jan 07 2007

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Mana

One of the Funniest Comedians Today…

Filed under Blogroll, comedy

A greatly underrated comedian today is Frank Caliendo. I love the man. Caliendo is one of the best impersonators out there. Here are some vidoes of him that use Bush, Seinfeld, DeNiro and… not to forget Madden as joke subjects:

THE FAVRE-GASMS* of JOHN MADDEN:

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBW7ysPcbT0"]

A few Bushisms:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrzXt58zuN4]

A whole lot of impersonations:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtWEkcyCd6g]

*Favregasm is a term coined by Postifthen. The term is used to define the type of “football excitement” a-la John Madden.

3 responses so far