Drew Curtis' FARK.com

Thu July 07, 2011

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Executive in New Zealand sacked after claiming women are paid less because they take monthly sick leave, attract bears (dailymail.co.uk)	(31)
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 322: "Abandon All Hope 2: Life After People". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)	(109)

Wed July 06, 2011

	Kids, more and more, are ingesting embalming fluid and overdosing, not realizing that later in life... err.. in death they will get plenty (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com)	(77)
	From the cover of this month's issue of "Duh" magazine (autos.aol.com)	(90)
(Some Guy)	Texas prosecutor convicts murderer without a body. FTFA: "I was able to convince a jury to convict with legally insufficient evidence" (liberallylean.com)	(88)
	6 reasons movie studio are snubbing Comic-Con this year (theweek.com)	(50)
(Some Guy)	Today's hot parenting question: Would you pick up a hitchhiker with your kids in the car? (blogs.trb.com)	(158)
(Some finger lickin' guy)	"I am without a doubt deeply sorry for my immature actions of stealing your chicken head" (gazette.net)	(44)
	Attack on speed camera slows traffic on Baltimore-Washington Parkway (baltimoresun.com)	(83)
	Man runs naked throught the streets of Lincoln, Nebraska in homage to Frank "The Tank" from "Old School. "It's stupid," he informed cops (thesmokinggun.com)	(38)
(wptv.com)	Daughter jailed following apparel altercation with mom. On the bright side, she can get comfy in those new county-supplied stripes (wptv.com)	(14)
	You're pulled over for speeding and placed in a police cruiser for suspicion of DUI. Do you C) Lick the keyboard of the officer's computer? (sfgate.com)	(33)
	Metro says escalator reliability has dropped, suggests commuters take steps to avoid problem areas (myfoxdc.com)	(45)
(ktvb.com)	Duct tape used to rescue ducklings (ktvb.com)	(42)
	Can of spray-on tan explodes, injuring six. YO, THE HUMANITY (nj.com)	(60)
	Photoshop Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez reading the newspaper. Newspapers were hardcopy printed versions of yesterday's news (msnbcmedia.msn.com)	(37)
	Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's doctor on the libidinous leader's health: "He can have sex six times a week. But after that, he should rest a day" (uk.news.yahoo.com)	(40)
	Internet-only broadcasts of lottery drawings not going over well with the people most likely to play the lottery (nj.com)	(40)
	A "military fighter plane" has crashed in Roswell, and the public has been advised not to go near the crash site. This is not a repeat from 1947 (msnbc.msn.com)	(91)
	Person dressed in a banana costume attacks person dressed in a gorilla costume. "The gorilla was not injured, just embarrassed" (cleveland.com)	(74)
	The gateway to hell is about to open in Iceland (foxnews.com)	(74)
(Some Guy)	A large earthquake strikes northern New Zealand Islands tomorrow. Tsunami warnings issued (theflea.co.nz)	(129)
	Playgrounds are installing shade tents to keep snowflakes from melting (yourlife.usatoday.com)	(152)
	So, submitter isn't the only one who got sick to his stomach watching the Fast And The Furious after all (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(67)
	Atlanta school system kids got great standardized test scores thanks to principals without principles (msnbc.msn.com)	(153)
(American Prospect)	Why Harry Potter is making our kids miserable (prospect.org)	(220)
	Store bans drunken puppy-buying, which completely throws submitter's weekend plans out the window (today.msnbc.msn.com)	(70)
	Turn your head and cough; TSA screenings are about to go even deeper (latimes.com)	(263)
	Looking to add a 20-year-old grown man to your household? No problem, just adopt him (cnn.com)	(88)
	Illinois now considered the frontrunner in Race to the Bottom Fund (wlsam.com)	(75)
(Some Guy)	What a meal at a restaurant may look like (lvrj.com)	(81)
	Man who has never heard of the internet pays £22.4m for disappointing 18th-century farmyard porn (bbc.co.uk)	(26)
(Some Guy)	"The man was found 'attempting sexual relations' with a blow-up doll, prosecutors said" (www2.insidenova.com)	(90)
	Zeppelin tour hits Milwaukee, $375 ticket seems a bit high though (jsonline.com)	(65)
	Here's to you, Mr Gets a Beej From The Woman Driving (2nd item down) (ohio.com)	(96)
(Some Guy)	Cop: "C'mon, chief, you can't fire me. It's not like I got drunk, grabbed a girl and we hopped on my ATV, cruised South Beach and then crashed into some people. Oh, wait" (wpbf.com)	(24)
(wptv.com)	Old and busted: Shooting fireworks on the 4th. New hotness: Doing 85 mph in your undies on three-wheel motorcycle (wptv.com)	(14)
	Moody's downgrades Portugal to "junkie" (reuters.com)	(53)
	Oregon man arrested after making a series of calls to the Palm Beach County FL Commissioner's office threatening to kill Obama because the president won't give him $70 million. I got $10 on "not competent to stand trial" (news.yahoo.com)	(31)
(Some Guy)	Answer: "Hey, I like your shirt". Question: "What five words will get you punched in the face several times?" (news4jax.com)	(192)
	Expert suggests releasing the devil. God skeptical (abc.net.au)	(25)
	Today's sign that times, they are a-changin: Saudi Arabia wants to buy 200 battle tanks from Germany, and Israel has no problem with it (bbc.co.uk)	(96)
	Jose Baez is going to be very popular with the youts (orlandosentinel.com)	(44)
	Six-year-old girl saves her two brothers and the dog from a deadly house fire. It's nice to see the Hero tag trump the Florida tag every once in a while (palmbeachpost.com)	(21)
	Banks have finally found a way to make money off credit and debit cards without raising your fees. How? Uh, that's not really important. Hey, how'd you like a 15 percent discount at Nike? You'd like that, wouldn't you? Good boy (money.cnn.com)	(78)
(Some Guy)	Ohio 'family values' state legislator busted for DUI, smelling of alcohol, has Viagra in his system and had stripper in car. No need to guess which party he belongs to (politicususa.com)	(166)
(Some Guy)	If you're 55 and two young women offer to take you back to their place for a threesome, they're probably planning to rob you (irishexaminer.com)	(73)
(Vancouver Sun)	I vow to wake up naked, To go to work naked, TO LIVE NAKED. And I vow that no fascist Canadian court will force me to hide my wang (vancouversun.com)	(102)
(Some Well-Grounded Guy)	City attempts to re-create the ending of Return of the Jedi by launching fireworks during a lightning storm, pinky swears no one was at risk. Weatherman who tracked 300 lightning strikes in the area has a big problem with this (wtkr.com)	(35)
(Some Guy)	Woman objects to Time Warneroulette (wsoctv.com)	(19)
	Heineken shocked to learn their beer ad featuring The Dead Kennedys' song Too Drunk to F*ck was considered "too racy" for Europe. Europe shocked to learn Heineken thinks they sell beer (contactmusic.com)	(111)
	In the now-famous photo of Obama in the situation room on the night Bin Laden was killed, the man standing just outside the frame on the left, a CIA agent known only as "John" was the guy who made it all possible (news.yahoo.com)	(108)
	Scientists discover hitherto unknown species of giant wombat in Australia. It's been six months since subby's ex-wife moved back there, so they can't have been paying much attention (bbc.co.uk)	(20)
	Jobs in post-recession USA demand multiple skills. Shotgunning beers and lighting farts not topping the list (usatoday.com)	(58)
	While plugging his "Two if by Tea" drink, Rush Limbaugh tells the survivors in Joplin, Mo that " you are the essence of what the founding fathers had in mind," Wow. those guys were real bastards (news.yahoo.com)	(115)
	Let me tell you how it will be / There's none for you, you scamming wannabes / Because I'm the tax man (3news.co.nz)	(11)
	To celebrate its 400th Anniversary, the Vatican's Secret Archives put 100 of its documents on display. Highlights to include a first edition Necronomicon, Aristotle's treatise on comedy, and Leonardo's Big Book of Bathroom Doodles (news.yahoo.com)	(23)
	As viable food allergy therapies move closer to FDA approval, parents are scrambling to devise alternate methods to impose attention whoring restrictions upon everyone who comes within 1,000 yards of their precious snowflakes (scientificamerican.com)	(123)
	Okay Texas, seriously, WTF? You'll execute the mentally retarded but these guys are walking around free? 14 Texas men charged with a series of sexual assaults on an 11-year old girl (news.yahoo.com)	(347)
	Israel's prime minister visits Romania, sees his reflection in a mirror and puts a lot of those rumors to rest (seattlepi.com)	(35)
(KJRH)	"Hello police? I'd like to report a bunch of cars vandalized and broken into." "What kind of vehicles are they?" "Umm... err... yeah... a bunch of police cruisers" (kjrh.com)	(11)
	And the winner for the stupidest comment regarding the Anthony trial goes to this woman: "[The verdict] is going to make millions of people think they can get away with killing their child" (abcnews.go.com)	(141)
	Prosecutors will argue that white supremacist teen who executed an openly gay classmate in school with two shots to the head, is a cold-blooded killer. The defense is going with that old chestnut: "the gay panic defense" (news.yahoo.com)	(206)
(Some Guy)	The Chinese want CNN to apologize for calling their disgusting food disgusting (china.org.cn)	(98)
(The Meter Maid)	Man owes Detroit more money for parking tickets than it would cost to buy half of the business district (wwmt.com)	(28)
	Same-sex couples wanting to get married in NY not happy that forms make them decide which one of them is the girl in the relationship (news.yahoo.com)	(174)
	What do Schrödinger's cat and homemade ice cream have in common? (consumerist.com)	(57)
(herald sun)	Skull found in London may be of 1879 murder victim. Police advise coroner to get his head checked (heraldsun.com.au)	(28)
	Dust storm sweeps through Phoenix. See what happens when you deport all the landscaping crews? (usatoday.com)	(63)
(Winnipeg Sun)	Multi year, $75,000 study shows if you throw out all the negative evidence about photo enforcement, you can spin what's left into an ambiguous report (winnipegsun.com)	(14)
	In the aftermath of the Anthony trial, reporters ask the important questions like "Should we abolish the jury system?" (townhall.com)	(202)
	That oil leak on the Yellowstone River? Yeah, we're less than a week into it and already Exxon has been caught lying about it. We should totally give them a tax break, though, this cleanup is going to be expensive (msnbc.msn.com)	(60)
	Dog and his owner lose 44kg between them to win UK dieting contest, have definitely earned their portion-controlled steak (bbc.co.uk)	(2)
	$trau$-Kahn a¢¢u$£r $u£$ NY ₱o$t ₣or Lib€L (cnn.com)	(28)
(Some unsecured source)	Step 1: Leave random USB thumb drives and CDs lying around the parking lot of a government facility working with classified materials and secured computers. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Facepalm (strategypage.com)	(142)
	Cameron calls for probe into phone hacking, existence of the Crocoduck (news.yahoo.com)	(18)
	"Donna pays for her £500 weekly shopping bill with profits from a website she has set up for 'fat admirers' who pay to look at photographs of her eating. She has 7,000 fans and makes £60,000 a year." w/ pics (dailymail.co.uk)	(122)
	So Einstein was buddies with your Dad and gives him rare papers with math formulas on them. Do you: c) leave them in a remote trailer at the end of dirt road in fire-ravaged California? (mercurynews.com)	(29)
	That's me on the pillow. That's me in the midnight, moving eyes like a pigeon. Trying to sleep the night through, and I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've slept too much. I haven't slept enough (thechart.blogs.cnn.com)	(68)
	Ronald Reagan monument unveiled outside London's US embassy. New statue promptly takes 15-point lead in GOP presidential poll (bbc.co.uk)	(146)
	Recent anti-pro-anti-anti- discrimination court finding is a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham (online.wsj.com)	(164)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this path's end (i.imgur.com)	(37)
	Famed American modern artist Cy Twombly becomes a still life (cnn.com)	(82)
	Okay guys, we're outta here; good luck with the war (ctv.ca)	(92)
	Another wonderful and deadly gift from down under. Worms with teeth, that can eat your brain. Braaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiins (foxnews.com)	(61)
	Chocolate Printer Prototype Unveiled by UK Scientists. Still no cure for... who cares? 3D Chocolate Sculptures (msnbc.msn.com)	(31)
	Clown Shoes' Tramp Stamp IPA will be renamed "Lower Back Tattoo" to avoid any conflicts with the NAWWRGTS (National Association of Women Who Regret Getting Tramp Stamps) (boston.com)	(112)
	Mmmmmm this salad tastes like human rights abuse (alternet.org)	(41)
	World's narrowest house is just 60 inches wide, too small for most Americans (dailymail.co.uk)	(34)
(Some Guy)	In today's crazy NYC subway news: Woman bathes nude in subway car (warning: Not safe for work -- or anyone for that matter) (wpix.com)	(37)
	Typographic error almost cost Iowa $9.2 million in Medicare funds (press-citizen.com)	(17)
	"Our donuts are so good, you'll murder your kid to get theirs" (gawker.com)	(26)
	Xenu 1; Jesus, Moses, Mohammad, Buddha and Joseph Smith, Jr. 0 (io9.com)	(217)
	Hotel uses the "you are stuck in our room because of the earthquake so we will charge you extra" routine, and throws in a parking charge as well (theage.com.au)	(29)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this fish faceoff (i.imgur.com)	(29)
	Urban hipsters are bringing back the soda fountain. What a bunch of jerks (nytimes.com)	(88)
	Men need more cuddling than women for a happy long-term relationship, says some Fat Broad from the Kinsey Institute (dailymail.co.uk)	(72)
	In America, you can get away with murdering a two year old, but God help you if you decide to put a sex doll in your school's bathroom (msnbc.msn.com)	(75)
(Some Guy)	Criminal: "Um, yeah, lemme get one of those healthy children, please." Operator: "Would that be for pickup or delivery?" (wpbf.com)	(30)
	Having solved all problems in the state, NY decides to crack down on a horrible threat to society.... Sippy Cups (nydailynews.com)	(60)
	NYC attacked by giant plants with sap that causes blindness (nypost.com)	(56)
	By 2013, one in 10 men in China will lack a female counterpart. By the late 2020s, that could jump to one in 5, with increases in unrest and crime throughout Asia. EVERYBODY JAPANIC (foreignpolicy.com)	(171)

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