Cooper Brown

Cooper Brown: I need a vacation

I'm tired... so goddam tired. I need a vacation and I haven't had one in ages. The problem is that I hate going away in Europe. Europeans really annoy me with their dull little towns that are all closed by nine in the evening after they have finished patronising me with suggestions for expensive, hideous wine to wash down the various inedible cuts of meat they like to eat in their particular armpit of the continent.

Recently by Cooper Brown

Cooper Brown: Running

Friday, 27 May 2011

Cooper Brown: Obama

Thursday, 5 May 2011

OhmyGod, will everybody stop whining about “whether we should have shot Osama or not?”. The guy was Public Enemy Number One, and suddenly we’re supposed to be reading him his rights and getting him a lawyer?

Cooper Brown: Filming

Thursday, 28 April 2011

On the set of the movie I’m producing, watching the actors film a great scene definitely destined to become a cinema classic. I’m from the Morrissey school of expectations – the guy will only publish his autobiography if it’s a Penguin Classic.

Cooper Brown: Wild in the country

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

It’s all gone wild in the country. I am now up for assault on the census Nazi and, because he is some distant relative of Victoria's family, they are split down the middle in their support.

Cooper Brown: Charged

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

The census guy that I got into an “altercation” with has now pressed charges and the police contacted me in London asking me to come down to the country to answer some questions.

Cooper Brown: Back home

Thursday, 21 April 2011

I lost it with A/C List guy. I need this movie to go big but I don’t need to be some kind of loser nanny to this idiot to get that done.

Cooper Brown: A/C list

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Nursing my big Hollywood name through this movie project is starting to become a little like keeping Tiger Woods out of Hooters – it’s impossible.

Cooper Brown: The movie

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Back in London, thank God. I get stir crazy if I’m in the country for too long – I need proper coffee and the smell of car exhausts to keep sane.

Cooper Brown: Limits

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Mulligan called me from Scotland saying that he’d dumped the Lesbian Sticker Lady somewhere near Oban and that she had “got the message”.

Cooper Brown: Winning the War

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

We were up early for the second day of “Operation Lesbian Sticker Lady”. Mulligan armed the Quattroporte again. Anybody touching it would get a severe electric shock. Mulligan had shown me his hands that had been burnt raw from when he'd tested it. He now had them wrapped in bandages.

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