The 5-Minute Interview: Victoria Wood, comedian and writer

Victoria Wood, 54, has been nominated for two Baftas for her film, 'Housewife 49'. Her show, 'Acorn Antiques -The Musical!' is on tour until July. Go to www.acornantiquesthemusical.com.

If I weren't talking to you right now I'd be ...

Going to the gym, my big treat and a big chance to go puce.

A phrase I use far too often is ...

"Lordy, lordy," which, when said with a heavy sigh, seems to cover most of the situations one is faced with in a working day.

I wish people would take more notice of ...

The fact that you can't throw anything away - there is no "away". It all has to stay on the planet. The whole bottled water phenomenon worries me. So many people are throwing bottles away every day, when - lucky us - we have clean water coming out of our taps.

The most surprising thing that ever happened to me was ...

That the only thing I was good at as a child, which was pulling funny faces, in the end helped earn me a living.

I am not a politician but ...

I would wear very boxy suits and a low-heeled court shoe. I would avoid the question, I would interrupt interviewers with a cross smile and I would bob my head out of time when I heard "street" music.

I am good at ...

Baking cakes. My children get birthday cakes even when they don't want them, and I have been known to rush emergency cakes round to non-baking mothers at midnight. For my son's third birthday I did children looking over a bridge at a train, but it had a slight air of a suicide pact about it.

But I am very bad at ...

Remembering the names of politicians. I can do the first one or two, but once I've passed Home Secretary I'm struggling.

The ideal night out is ...

To have a cup of tea with someone who makes me laugh till I snort and people stare, see some wonderful film in a nearly empty cinema, then have proper chips.

In moments of weakness I ...

Cry. Or make toast. Or buy a small bag of Revels from a petrol station. And why anyone thought they could put a chocolate raisin in a bag of Revels and have it hailed as a new Revel is a baffler.

In a nutshell my philosophy is this ...

Do the things you don't want to do first, walk up the escalator, drink tap water, say thank you and just remember, in the bag of Revels that is life, there has to be a chocolate raisin.