I need a break from Open Critique Days (they’ll return next week), but in the meantime I thought it would be fun to have another Sharing Day! We’ve talked before about geek moments that got you sad or weepy, but today I wanted to talk about nerd-dom’s dark underbelly: rage.

Here’s the deal:

You can ask me any question you like about whatever you like, which I will answer either completely truthfully or not at all (in which case you can ask something else). I say that because, come on, there are some things no one should have to know.

But you can only do so if you answer the following question about yourself (note that you don’t have to ask me anything, if you’d rather not, but I’d still be interested in your answer):

What’s the angriest you’ve gotten over a piece of geekery, whether it be an RPG session, computer game, movie, novel, or what have you?

Here’s my answer for that one:

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but to this day I still get angry over “Superman III”. It was such a desecration of an institution I love that I could feel my face getting flush, my hands clenching into fists, and an uncontrollable urge to find the producers and punch them in the face. Non-geeky friends sometimes ask me why I’m not planning on seeing a given super-hero movie, and “Superman III” is why. When you love something so much, seeing it done poorly is much more painful than just sitting through a random bad movie.

I’m getting pissed just thinking about it, almost thirty years later! What an awful, putrid, offensive train-wreck of a movie. I think the entire Superman movie franchise still hasn’t overcome the unholy stench of that film splashed all over the character. Bastards.

Now it’s your turn — let the stories of anger spill forth!

(Image at the top available as a T-shirt from TeeNormous.com.)

(From “Champ Comics” number 13.)

The HeroMachine 3 Alpha has had a major upgrade, and now allows you to load or save characters as text strings to make emailing them back and forth easier.

I’ve also added a new “Intro” screen to make it easier for new folks to use, and faster for you as well by eliminating the need to load an item set before you can get to the load screen:

Hopefully that all makes sense … I’m sure I’ll be tweaking it as we go, but it’s a good starting point for now. Let me know in comments if you have any issues with it, or suggestions on how to make it better, or a good recipe for bread pudding.

I’m taking a break from the “Choose Your Own Adventure” stories this week to try something a bit different.

A lot of folks out there use HeroMachine to create visuals for stories they’re writing, so instead of showcasing your artistic abilities, now’s your chance to exhibit your writing. Take one paragraph (I was thinking the very first one, but if that doesn’t work for you then pick another) from a story you’re writing and put it in the comments below, along with the title (if known) and a one-sentence synopsis of what the story or novel is about. Think of it as the blurb they’d put as a teaser promo in a review magazine, along with that one paragraph as a writing sample.

Here’s one from me, from my long-unfinished novel “Exile”:

The twelve boys step from the black mouth of the alley with a swagger in their step, the bright lights of the glow stones making wicked gleams dance and leap on the tips of their daggers. I tense – there is something different about them, the scent of blood in the air like there has never been in any of our other encounters. They will not settle for bruises this time, or cruel words – they have hatred in their eyes and a hunger in their mouths that the small pains of the past will not satisfy. I have dealt with their unseen hands pushing me from behind when I pass and their feet tripping me in hallways for the past year, but from the set of Yasha’s shoulders he is intent on more than petty humiliations.

The back of my ears begin to sweat; something here is very, very wrong.

I haven’t looked at this stuff in years and the writing is pretty rough, but in the usual spirit of honesty I try to engender here, I’m sharing it anyway.

And I suppose the one-sentence synopsis would be “A young boy on a desert world ruled by a god who cares nothing for his subjects fights to reclaim his family’s honor.”

(From “KO Comics” number 1, featuring “The Duke of Darkness”.)

The “working” version of HM3 was just updated to support custom color loading. Your previously saved text strings should still work normally.

Note that you could now start a blank character, fill the entire set of Custom Color boxes, and save it as “Bob’s Custom Colors”.

Then whenever you started a new character up, you could first load “Bob’s Custom Colors” and all of your Custom Color boxes would be immediately set and ready for use. That way if you come up with, say, your own unique set of team colors for a group you’re building, or if you have a bunch of skin tones you’ve made that you like better than mine, you can have them saved and available for use whenever you want.

For the super-duper high-tech hacker-inclined out there, note that if you save a “custom color” blank character as text, you can manually edit the CustomColor entries with hex values in the order you want before using the Load as Text function.

As always, let me know how it goes and if you see any problems with this release. We’re getting closer and closer to beta status, folks!

Joining the illustrious ranks of villains like “Calendar Man” and “The Calculator” inspired by objects lying around the creator’s home office as his deadline loomed is Mr. A. G. Bell, aka “Phone Ranger”:

He started out as a bit of a joke, but soon became an actual, “No, really, take this seriously” character. In a real comic book, that was actually published and sold to people. For money.

Let’s set aside the fact that he looks like the unholy love child of Tony Stark and his vintage phone collection. Let’s ignore his uncanny resemblance to that weird guy down the hall who keeps getting his head stuck in various things. Let’s even pretend that he’s not wearing a phone as a collar.

No, instead let’s open ourselves to the target-rich environment for combat quips opened up by this utterly ridiculous outfit:

• “You’re really pushing my buttons, Phone Ranger!”
• “This line is disconnected — permanently!”
• “I’ve got my fist on line one for you, Phone Ranger!”
• “Please wait while I connect your chin with my fist!”
• “You should love your phone, but don’t, you know, love your phone …”
• “That outfit is off the hook!”

I thank Myro for bringing this guy to my attention, and look forward to more combat quips and commentary about just how insane this costume is. Also, if Marvel could somehow get Calendar Man, The Calculator, Whiteout, and Phone Ranger together in an actual comic book titled “Desktop Avengers Assemble”, I could die a happy man.

(Character & image © Marvel Comics.)

(From “Atomic Bomb” number 1, 1942.)

We’ve been spending a lot of time talking about “Greatest Evers” in the course of the superhero genre. But we all have a soft spot for a character that we know might not be “The Greatest”, yet whom we love anyway. For me, it’s The Flash. I know he’s kind of a one-trick pony, and I know the history of the men who’ve worn the suit is spotty at best. Nonetheless, something about the combination of costume, the time in my life when I was reading them, and the simplicity of Barry Allen combined to make him my favorite.

That’s what this poll is about — the character who might not, in some abstract sense, be “The Greatest” but who is still your favorite anyway.

I’m leaving it open for you to add your own answers if you like, but please don’t abuse them or I’ll have to (again) delete the response.

Tell us who you picked and why they’re your favorite!

(“Power Lightning Vomit GO!!” image © DC Comics.)

(From “Atomic Bomb” number 1, 1942.)