Kate de Brito
Wednesday, April 06, 2011 at 07:15am
Dear Bossy: I desperately need your advice.
I am a professional 25 year year old man with a satisfying career, mortgage and lovely girlfriend who I have been with for almost a year. This is my first and only girlfriend so I can’t really compare her to all the other 1-3 month casual flings i’ve had with other women. She is smart, attractive, well liked by my family etc. But the sex is soooo boring. I have been with lots of girls with most of them being more exciting sexually. She was a virgin so her experience and skills are very small.
How do I turn this good girl in to a porn star?
Bossy says: What is it with young blokes and porn? There’s something incredibly wrong - and a bit sad - about young men who expect and want their girlfriends to act like porn stars.
Here’s a tip buddy. She’s not a porn star. She’s an ordinary, inexperienced woman. Maybe she doesn’t want to ply herself into 12 different positions in a quarter hour every time you have sex. Maybe she doesn’t want to pretend to love you “finishing” in her face. Maybe she just wants to have sex with you and feel loved and attractive.
I expect I am being unfair. If you had not mentioned turning her into a porn star I would have taken your question at face value. I would have said it was fine to tell a partner what you like in bed. I would have said you need to let her know what you want. You need to guide her and ask her whether she’s up for doing other things that turn you on.
Most women are not distressed at hearing there are new ways to please their partner. It can be a turn on for them too. If you are prepared to honestly and positively tell her what you want and talk about way of experimenting, she may well approach the task with relish.
However the problem is when young men think a woman needs to act like a porn star to be good in bed. My concern is not porn itself, but a generation brought up with such easy access to it via the internet, that they begin to have an unrealistic view of sex and the female libido.
They begin to believe every woman should look and act like they stepped out of an x rated video, forgetting the women who do step out of these are actors. They’re pretending.
My advice is you talk to your girl about what you like and want. Praise her when it’s happening. Start experimenting together. Learn how to please each other. Explore your mutual needs. Be open to discussing your sexual wants as well as hers.
But also be realistic. This girl is probably never going to turn into a “porn star”. And you should make sure you are not throwing away something perfectly good in an attempt to find something that may not exist.
I am not suggesting women are not capable of extreme sexual hunger in the bedroom. They are. But if you constantly look past what you have in a bid to create something you have seen on the internet, you may never get what you actually want.
Try to honest with yourself and with her. If you try to spice things up and it doesn’t work and if you feel frustrated and constantly bored then maybe you do need to find someone else with an appetite more suited to yours. Just don’t go searching for the perfect woman… who is all things in bed and out. She probably doesn’t exist.
181 Comments
Believe me, this is a bigger bonus than her bedroom skills.
These two attributes are not necessarily hand in hand. She has her style and goes with it.
I will assume that she is about the same age as you, so she’s a bit of a late starter. If after a year you haven’t got her up to your expectations, she won’t really go much further. I reckon if you have any serious long term plans for her, concentrate on the things that matter outside the bedroom and you will benefit from it.
Like Bossy said, don’t think your bedroom is a porn film set. I love porn but I’ve rarely done anything that they do and I’m satisfied with my sex life.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:29am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:41am)
Firstly I have to say that I agree with Bossy… It’s disturbing that you want your girlfriend to act like a porn start but each to their own I guess.
I think Brody is on to something here.... She lacks experience then therefore has potentially adopted a style and stuck with it. She may actually want to try new things to turn you on but might be nervous/scared that you won’t like them.... A little bit of positive encouragement and COMMUNICATION may go a long way to getting you more exciting action in the bedroom.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:43am)
Agree, Brody.
There’s one other thing too.
OP, if she was a virgin, and the sex is boring, and you’re her only partner, who’s fault is it?
Those in glass houses, and all that.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:32am)
Couldn’t think of anything worse than a porn film set for a bedroom. The sound of your girlfriend screaming “ooooooh, aaaaaah, ooooooh, aaaaaah” with every breath through the whole thing would be pure torture, especially for your neighbours. Here’s a clue: real women don’t behave like porn stars, so if you want sex with a porn star you’ll have to get yourself a job in the industry.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:47am)
just say “No” to bad sex. It’s not worth the effort
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:33pm)
smart, attractive, well liked, virgin, dud in the sack. YOU are her only partner!!! If she is a dud it is because YOU aren’t pushing her buttons!!! You get out what you put in.
BTW if you want to blast a load in her face because you think it’s awesome, ask yourself this....will you kiss her or make her wash her face?
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:58pm)
So girls don’t like getting it in the face? Man, I better write that one down.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (03:42pm)
i was actually in the same situation, a lot less experienced than my boyfriend - he never complained but i have no doubt he would have been a little bored if we continued the way things began, so he took control, without being over the top, subtley showed me some new moves and things became a lot more interesting!
dont expect her to just imagine up what how you want her to be, she probably has no idea, a little guiding and discussing and things should become a whole lot more fun!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (03:54pm)
I agree. Bedroom stuff is a tiny fraction of a real, serious long-term relationship. This is something that you, OP, need to learn.
Here’s where I disagree. My wife and I had been together for easily over a year before we really started exploring our, ahem, interests. We still occasionally discover something new that one or the other of us would like to try.
Give it time. For her to really be willing to push the bounds, she has to be completely comfortable with herself and with you. Pushing her will make her uncomfortable and will delay any possible experimentation.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (05:49pm)
Don’t worry, anonymous. It’s a bit like us guys and having a finger in the arse when getting blown; we don’t like it cause that would be gay, but really we do.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (06:29pm)
@ Mahhrat, that comment was gold
The other this is maybe she’s worried it’s going to hurt because he’s a 90 kg pounder going bad out of hell.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:14pm)
Whose to say its her fault, are you making her happy? Or when it comes to the bedroom are you all about you?
Ask her what she wants to try, share you might suprised
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:23pm)
Hey Chunks
so your girlfriend doesn’t go “oooooh, aaaaaah” eh?
You must be doing it wrong my friend.
Thu 07 Apr 11 (08:43am)
Wookii, LMAO… very good point!
Thu 07 Apr 11 (08:57am)
If you wanna have sex with a pornstar then hire one. Many of the porn stars are available for “escort “ work starting at $1500 USD per hour
I could link the website that has many of the top starlets, but it might not get published.
You have a perfect opertunity to train explore evertything. The reason she sucks in bed is because you suck in bed
Thu 07 Apr 11 (01:30pm)
I get all that......
Why is it that adult porn stars turn your boyfriends/husbands on and you can’t ?
Not only that but you are all unwilling in the name of “That isnt real”
Women attack that line “Real life isnt like it is in the porn undustry” why not ? why couldnt it be ? why are you so desperate not to please your partner and fullfill his every desires ? as man are so happy to do for you ?
Shouldnt you WANT to please your partner ?
Shouldnt you WANT your partners dreams to come true, dont you want to fullfill them for him ?
Doesnt make so much sense to me at all
Why do women try so hard not to give “The love of their lives” what they want ? i would have thought it would be the opposite.... ok so maybe i just dont get it at all?
Can anyone explain?
I find this very disturbing as well - I feel really sorry for 20 years olds these days. Recently I read an article about an increase of young women attending medical clinics at college in the US with anal injuries and the like - all because their pathetic loser boyfriends want to be with a ‘porn star’. More disturbing is they are doing it at all - I mean seriously - tell them to get stuffed. Sooner or later when no one will sleep with them, they will start to realise that women are not some blow up doll you can manipulate.
Well, I hope she dumps him and finds someone better. You want a porn star, go and find one. Oh, and enjoy the diseases and stuff, not to mention the hundreds of ‘men’ they have been with. Most women are not porn stars. They are normal adult females, who have body hair and do normal stuff. If you can’t cope with that, you are the one with the problem.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:33am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:58am)
Well said Iron Lady!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:11am)
FFS people...I’m sure he is using the words “porn star” merely as a figure of speech, not literally.
The advice people are giving is about as useful as petty fat-bashing comments when someone needs exercise and nutritional tips.
OP- if I am right in defending you here, and you just want to spice it up a bit, just talk to her about things you would like to do with her. You can’t expect her to know what to do if she hasn’t done it before.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:50am)
My younger sister confided in me that she has anal sex instead of the usual one because she believes that it still keeps her virginity!
WTF!
Most of the time, it’s the moron blokes who push their expectations on the women. Just because they saw it in a porno, then it must be ok to ask the women to do it. More than likely, to keep the bloke around, the woman will oblige.
Quite sad really.. I am so glad I am not in my early 20’s anymore.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:09am)
Spot on, Smidgeling.
People are genuinely attacking the OP with unhelpful comments as if he literally meant he wanted to turn into his girl in to a porn star, when he clearly meant to ask: “How do I help my girlfriend open up and explore her own sexuality?”
WTF is wrong with you people?
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:35am)
I couldn’t have said it better Smidgeling
Wed 06 Apr 11 (12:26pm)
You may have a point Smigeling. But if you’re right, he was both incredibly insensitive and a raving idiot to pose his question in that crass manner.
I’m sure that if the OP sounded as if he actually gave a damn about his partner, he’d be given good advice. Instead he comes across like a giant tool who’d be better off having a relationship with a blow-up doll.
The girl was a virgin when he met her; he’s the teacher. If things aren’t going well now, perhaps he should consider the possibility that its him who’s the dud.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:14pm)
Smidgeling, Direct, et al - if he meant ‘how do I help her explore her sexuality’, then he would have said that. He clearly wrote ‘porn star’, which implies he wants to compare her to porn stars, which he is obvioulsy familiar with.
I also noted that it was all about her changing - and nothing about him helping. He sounds like a selfish twat.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (02:37pm)
well said iron lady, but Smidge and Direct are actually right.
Look at the OP’s letter - it’s brief, succint and to-the-point. He tried to be creative and illustrative in his brevity and failed as pointed out by Dragon.
But its easy to see what he really meant.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (03:09pm)
So Iron lady, when a woman says she is “fine” I can assume she is fine and definitely not upset or angry?
He used the words “porn star” for the same reason ironmike, TOMATOR, SSR, etc use the language they do.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (04:21pm)
Actually, I disagree Smidgeling - I genuinely do think in this instance the OP wants his girlfriend to act like a porn star - not just ‘open up her sexuality’.
Considering this is his first proper relationship ever, at 25 years of age I am sure that he would have flogged off to LOADS of porn being single that much (apart from the ‘flings’). Therefore his only comparison of sex would be porn - and that’s what he wants because that’s what he’s used to flogging off to.
So yes, he does mean it.
Thu 07 Apr 11 (09:14am)
Where is your proof of this IL? Usually when people present statistics it’s made up BS anyways. Firstly what is wrong with anal? Even DR Ruth prescribes anal. Feminist Sex educators like Dr Sussie Bright promotes anal sex. It’s all about being sex positive. All sexual pleasure for both is fantastic. If one is wincing in pain then there’s something wrong, respect is missing in the relationship. Obviously you have your own hang ups, your own immature uneducated outlook on a profession. The only thing I see wrong with pornstars as such is all of them are freaks of nature. The guys are conditioned to cum on demand, the guys are abnormally larger than the average male. I guess the virgin girlfriend could as OP to be hung like a pornstar instead.
Back to anal sex. If you haven’t experienced it with a loving partner then you can’t knock it. If women want security and are afraid of anal and their BF asks for it, offer the solution that you will do it if you BF would accept pegging and you have to peg him first. If he enjoys it then anal for you won’t be so bad.
Thu 07 Apr 11 (01:40pm)
All im hearing is a bunch of weak ass bitches winging cuz ... suprise suprise they dont wanna do anything but boring in the bedroom.....
Seriously ... Its not that hard to expect the woman you love to want to please and fullfill your wildest dreams.. as you do for her.
No you witches just want to complain everytime sex is a topic, and hide behind this socially accepted scapegoat, so you can complain about everything HE doesnt do for you and disregard the fact that you wont do SHIT for him.
Feel sorry for those of you who think sex is the same with everyone for everyone ... seems to be alot of you.. bottom line if your not sexually compatible, it likely wont work. If your girl isnt interested in your kinks and you NEED these kinks to lead a fullfilling life that you aim for then maybe its time to walk.
Im pretty confident IL the porn stars are cleaner and better kept than you are.
You’ve described her as smart, so if she finds out you want her to become a porn star she’ll do what any smart girl will do: fist of death then leave you in a gutter.
If you want a porn star, go date one. Although I don’t see what good you reproducing will do to the gene pool.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:33am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (02:33pm)
Love it
Fist of Death!
BAM!
She needs to tell you to F off.
If you want to make it more exciting that is fine. But to say you want her to act like a porn star makes me want her to punch you.
Grow up and think about this fact. All your previous relationships you classes as flings. Maybe the fact she has been ridden more than Debbie Sue is what you like and buy turning her into one you will hate her.
How are you going to feel if you did turn her into a ‘porn star’ to quote your words and you don’t like it? The grass isn’t always greener.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:46am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (05:50pm)
@Dave of NSW I absolutely agree with you. I also believe that the OP is almost definitely ‘improving the story’ about the number of his previous relationships he has had to the point of wondering if he was a ‘bit’, aka completely, on the virginal side himself and now can’t understand why it isn’t like it is ‘in the movies’.
One of the joys of being inexperienced together can be learning together but in this case her incapacity to be an inflatable, self animated, contortionist sex doll has him, the OP, somewhat confused (what a surprise!). I can just imagine how she might have reacted when he said he would give her a pearl necklace after dinner and later when she discovered what that actually entailed. He needs to read: Sex 101: Beginners. Basic anatomy, communication and practice.
OP, dump the girl so she can get herself a REAL MAN who will treat her with a bit of dignity and respect.
Oh grow up. Seriously.
Maybe you could try this new fangled thing, its called communication. Thats right, TALK TO THE GIRL!!!!! You never know, she might be open to the fact that you want to unleash on her chest or whatever it is you want. She might want to try tying you down and smacking you about.
But, how will you know, if you never ask?
Thats whats wrong with men today, they just dont ask. Some women can be quite adventourous in the bedroom and not show it for years because no one asked. We dont do these things straight off the bat, because we think that maybe if we do, whoever it is we are shagging might not be into that kind of thing.
So, ask your girl, if she says no without even considering it, she is trying to guage your reaction to her saying no. If she jumps in and says yes right away and its more of a “Hell Yes, lets go now” then you have found the exciting woman you want. If she needs to think about it, its not a straight no, it just means she wants time to mull it over.
Be patient, but FFS communicate.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:48am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:52am)
I couldn’t agree more. Of course if she was a virgin, she is a blank canvas - how lucky you are! There are many books on the subject of soul satisfying sex that aren’t sleazy - I think I remember one called ‘The Book Of Love’, that explain the various aspects of pleasing your partner, which you read together and have fun exploring. Not all things are for everyone, but between loving partners there aren’t many taboos, really. As Stacebags said - a good start is to communicate. Well said Stacebags!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:58am)
“if she says no without even considering it, she is trying to guage your reaction to her saying no.”
Urggh....that’s why they don’t ask...freaking mind games than 99% of the time will lead to no sex at all for the guy because the girl pretends to be offended even if she wants it just because of some silly ideal of how she should respond in some weird mind game that she’s the only one playing.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:18am)
“if she says no without even considering it, she is trying to guage your reaction to her saying no.”
More likely she already has some idea of what she will or won’t like!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:22am)
I find it ironic that you tell a guy to communicate and then refer to the less than direct form of communication that women often use in this situation.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (02:19pm)
Swarley
Most females have severe self confidance issues.
We play “mind games” to try and find out if you love us or are just using us. Because, believe it or not, everything you have heard about always needing to praise a woman is TRUE. No we can’t help it. We are mostly born this way and a lot of women who act all brave and self confident are normally using that to hide behind.
OP, How about the next time you want some nookie, you spend the night doing everything you can to turn her on and make her scream. This probably won’t be easy as she most likely isnt comfortable with her body and finds it hard to let loose. Try and make her feel beautiful and that you find EVERY part of her amazing, that you feel pleasure just by giving her pleasure. Don’t rush into anything to big, but let her know that she can release her inner animal in the bedroom.
Things will slowly unfold.
How do you get the sex to become more exciting? A little bit at a time. Come on! She was a virgin she has no idea that she is ‘boring’ in the sack.
And sex is a two person dance buddy, surely you could be doing something to encourage a little more spice - but your letter doesn’t mention that at all.
I’m going to give you advice based on my experience - maybe you’re girlfriend is nothing like me, but my experience is all I’ve got to go on, so I’ll assume she is someone like me. I LOVE sex. Love it, can’t get enough of it. However with my first serious boyfriend it was months before I even gave him a blow job (he was actually totally surprised - he never expected it to happen) and it was months to a year later that we did more experimental stuff in (and out of) bed. We always had chemistry and the sex was always good but it took time for it to be more than vanilla. And this was due to two things on my part:
1) Time and experience. It took a little time for me to go from sexually inexperienced to the sexually adventurous person I am now
2) Trust. I can’t be totally open and ‘out there’ with a guy in bed unless I completely trust him. The more trust the freakier the sex can get. With each new partner it does not instantly happen.
So my advice is to go slowly, encourage the things you want in bed but don’t push it if she resists. Make sure you keep her trust, be open about the things you want and understanding about what she is ready for and when - if ever.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:49am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:38am)
I wholeheartedly agree
Well, I can tell you that a woman who is loved and cherished is so much the more likely to feel freer in bed with her partner, than one who subconciously realises her partner is just looking toward his own satisfaction. Mutual enjoyment is what makes sex great, not porn star moans and moves.
By the by, haven’t you yet realised porn is fake? Its a shallow imitation of sex, and is positively no reflection of true sexual intimacy. You’d be better off reading about Tantric Sex or the Kama Sutra. At least these are real.
And another point: If sex is so darn boring, what on earth have you done to make it any better? Clearly, if you’ve done anything, its not working. She’s not telepathic, and cannot read your mental cues to hurry up and start acting like she knows what she’s doing. Prepare yourself becuase you’re about to be facted in the face: SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT SHES DOING YOU TWIT. SHE WAS A VIRGIN.
I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you want mutually satisfying sex with this girl, and not just to make her your own personal slut. Ok- be gentle with her, ask her what she wants to try, look it up online and see how you can make it good for her (yes, you need to do this - just because you know tab A goes into slot B does not make you a genius on sex), take it slow, ask her during sex if she is comfortable - particularly when you are trying something new.
Here’s a thought: start off with the basics: can you even give her an orgasm? Maybe she’s just being polite in bed, you know? You’ll need an honest conversation about that one, and a promise not to be offended when she tells you that you aren’t such a porn star yourself. She might actually understand far more about sex than you. Virgins might not have experience, but they certainly have their imagination. Do you honestly think you are everything she ever imagined great sex to be? I’ll bet that while you might be considerate (I’m being generous here, and giving you the benefit of the doubt), you probably disappoint in some areas.
Read the Kama Sutra together. Find some things you both want to try. Talk. Communicate. Earn her trust. She’ll never enjoy herself in bed unless she trusts you to take care of her. A woman needs to know that you’re not going to hurt or take advantage of her when she is at her most vulnerable. If you do, then you are just making it a million times harder for yourself and worse for her. Encourage her, tell her how much you enjoyed being with her. Thank her for the privilege of being her first. You know you like that you were the first guy to be with her, and just because the novelty wore off doesn’t make it irrelevant now. Spoil her outside the bedroom. Foreplay begins when you pay attention to her as a person, and not just when you finally get your hands on her body. Take pleasure in her pleasure.
I can’t really say much more. There are tons of sex books out there and much more information on the net that you can look up. Information is power here, and the knowledge to make sex good for your partner is key to helping them enjoy themselves and making it an enjoyable experience for you both.
And frankly, if you don’t do any of this: you clearly dont want or deserve to have a great sex life. If you just want an orgasm, you do have a hand you know. You don’t need another person to achieve that.
Good luck to your girlfriend. I hope for her sake you learn how to be a better lover to her.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (07:52am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:43am)
Awesome response Sarah.
People often whinge that your posts are too long but I love them.
Always on the money and if I was ever the Op I would go straight to your reply.
Op,
Listen to this girl as she speaks the truth.
Women are at their most vunerable during sex and in order to enjoy it we need to feel safe. I have been told that the best thing a grl can bring to the bedroom is enthusiasm, if she is enjoying herself then you will too.
Go easy on your gf, make her feel safe and loved and slowly introduce different things into your sex life.
Good luck
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:34am)
Can’t agree more!
Men too often underestimate the value of foreplay and the fact that sex starts long before they hit the bedroom!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:16am)
‘And another point: If sex is so darn boring, what on earth have you done to make it any better? ‘
Exactly! Reading this I see he’s pointed out that she hadn’t been anyone before him. If that’s the case mate she’s learning from you. You want her to learn more about sex? Teach her!
Ugh.
Stop whinging. She is smart, attractive.. obviously too good for someone as shallow as you.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:05am)
Here are the cold, hard facts buddy - YOU’RE the only man she’s ever been with, so if she’s a dud root, then YOU are to blame! Since she has no experience, then it’s up to you to train her, and since you’ve obviously done a crap job thus far, then odds are that it’s because you’re a dud in bed yourself.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:09am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:14am)
BAM. So true.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:21am)
Exactly like CC said - YOU are her only experience. If you consider her boring what kind of teacher are you???
OP,
So you want your chick to go from bore to whore overnight…
All men do, but some women just don’t have it in them.
Women who won’t give BJs, or finish off with a BJ, or do anal are the women you get rid of. Let someone else be satisfied with boring.
However, most women these days are willing to play porn star. They know if they don’t they’re getting sacked. They know naughty, dirty sex is a requirement, a prerequisite for a normal relationship. Most women enjoy it, because they’re pleasuring their partner.
OP, there are three ways to turn her from bore to whore:
- Demand what you want and threaten to sack her. This method has been successful in the past. You’ll either get better sex or get rid of a bore.
- Talk openly and honestly about what you want her to do. At the same time ask what she wants to do. She’ll get all squirmy because you’re including her in the discussion rather than demanding.
- Put on some porn. You will quickly find out what she likes and doesn’t like. If nothing bothers her, you’ve got your whore.
Good luck.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:11am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:37am)
You don’t have to threaten her with sacking. Just tell her what you want and show her.
Agree that boring women are best left to the boys who work boring jobs in the suburbs and who drive Korean cars.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:45am)
And after two days of being on holiday.....the REAL IM is back! ha ha
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:57am)
Another thing, though. Porn is very generic.
Man gives head
Woman gives head
Woman rides him
Then woman does reverse cowgirl
Then doggy style
Then missionary
Then it’s over.
Nothing in that is very adventurous so I don’t see why everyone is getting so upset over the porn star reference.
If all she’s doing is lying there then she definitely needs to lift her game.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:29am)
Guys who want anal sex are the ones to get rid of. Unless they’re keen to have a dildo up their own a*#e first.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:58am)
Charlie- what porn have you been watching?
I’ve always seen the formula:
Girl gives head
Guy gives head
Missionary with guy standing
Girl on top (various versions)
Doggy style
Girl gives head
Optional money shot
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:36am)
Iron Mike - you are the worlds largest insecure male
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:45am)
MIKE,
I’ve said this before.
Anal sex is a woman’s (delicate) choice, not a man’s right.
You have no right to demand something which is, by definition, unusual as far as what the body is designed to do naturally.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (12:41pm)
@Rover - you are spot on. If they demand no hair, they also have to have full brazilians themselves. Men are such wimps, do this or you’re sacked, do that or you’re sacked. Put your money where your mouth is! If you don’t like it, shut the hell up.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:07pm)
Can you please email my boss and tell him that?
Because, my body wasn’t naturally designed to sit still in a chair under artificial fluroescent lighting staring into a screen. But my boss demands that I do.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:27pm)
Smidgeling, let us not forget the occasional one where they’re doing it doggy-style whilst BOTH standing.
That must be the advanced type porn stars.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (01:41pm)
Depends, Bossy… at least somone coming right out and demanding anal sex would be being more honest about what they plan to do to me than some employers I’ve had in the past....
Wed 06 Apr 11 (04:31pm)
Did Locust work for Prince Charles? Who knew?
back..with a vengeance.
few shades of difference there though Locust…
So you have been royally shafted in the past Locust?
Kate de Brito
Wed 06 Apr 11 (02:48pm)
“I am a professional 25 year year old man” - as soon as i read that I thought to myself - gee what a wanker...... she probably despises you for being such a tool. And you sound like you think you are better than you really are. Pull your head in.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:15am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (09:22am)
“I am a professional 25 year year old man with a satisfying career, mortgage and lovely girlfriend”.
I’ve actually had 35yrs in the profession of being a man and I can say it’s very satisfying as well. In fact it’s damn awesome.
The mortgage bit sucks though.
And yes, you’re a wanker.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:20pm)
Yeah I thought his entire email sounded wankerish. If he’s only managed “1 - 3 month flings” by the age of 25 maybe the more experienced girls got jack of him pretty quickly.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:44pm)
Professional is a type of occupational class. Similar to tradie but demands a vocational University education.
He is either;
Lawyer,
Engineer,
Doctor,
Accountant,
Banker or
Scientist.
Good to see people are quick to judge even though they are the one with the shortcoming!
OP do I smell a fellow troll this morning?
Bossy; whats wrong with boys wanting their porn fantasy from their girls? many girls are hunting for a prince charming from the movies and many of those post advise right here
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:17am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:08am)
Of course I believe you Bossy as I know you would never lie about these things, but next time you post such advice could you please not use the invisable font.
yes and my advice to those girls would be they are caught in an unrealistic dream
Kate de Brito
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:27am)
‘can i come on your face?’ - HELL NO, f*cktard - can I p*ss in your mouth?
PUHlease!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:36am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:00am)
Really? I’ve found a lot of women ask for it to be done…
Thu 07 Apr 11 (01:09pm)
bahahaha… what are you talking about? do u think its degrading or disgusting if a man goes down on you? cumming on a women’s face is just like a man going down on a woman… thats if the woman played around with it for a while and drank it / smelt it for a good half hour.
seriously, men and women going down is a very different experience. would u be turned on by a guy who says it tastes gross and makes a funny face and hates going down there? heck no… u want someone who can’t get enough of you… so do guys. u just have to take it for a few seconds at the end, not for the entire duration. dont hide behind the ‘its degrading’ excuse. ur not fooling anyone, u just dont want to do it cos u think its gross and feel insecure that its becoming not that taboo anymore… open up ur mind aie?
Bossy and others said it all, settle down douchebag..
Perspective please - you said she was a virgin. Well cast your mind back to when you were batting of into your sport socks, you didn’t have a clue then either, did you?
I blame the internet. In the good old days, say 10 years ago, not every teenage boy had high speed broadband in their bedroom. The most you could expect to find was an old copy of Penthouse between the mattresses but now, such easy access to hard core unrealistic porn is at your fingertips.
Is it any wonder these lads have an askew view of sex.
Hot Tip OP - there is a VAST difference between porno and erotica. When you grow up, you may hope to know and enjoy the difference between the two…
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:39am)
Here’s a few suggestions champ
- grow a dodgy moustache.
- hire a funky bass player to make sexy music every time you’re on the job (or hire the sadly retired band named Pornland)
- come home dressed as “zee pool cleaner”, “pizza boy” or whatever
etc etc
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:42am)
Have you ever thought that it’s you who is the dud?
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:45am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:53am)
Exactly. Maybe you’re a dud root. Since you’ve only ever had flings, did you ever think that the reason none of them wanted a serious relationship is because you were a selfish/bad lover.
I myself was a virgin before I met my boyfriend who has been doing the dirty since he was the ripe old age of just 14.
This wasn’t an issue at all for us (and I know I’m rather lucky in this). He was kind and patient in the beggining which is hopefully what you yourself have done.
Gradually he would let me know what he liked and disliked outside of being “in the moment” so as not to pressure. You can’t just expect your girlfriend to be a mind reader, so just tell her! Having said that, start slow and work your way up to more “interesting” things.
I’m by no means encouraging the thought that she should turn into a porn-star-esque sort of girl. You need to find out what she is comfortable with and be reasonable.
If it doesn’t work for either of you then you will need to re-assess where you see this relationship going.
Fortunately and sometimes unfortunatley, sex is an integral part in relationships.
After being with my first for 5 years, I can definitely say he’s not complaining!
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:46am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:29pm)
buy her nice underwear (that she picks out), then help take it off. Learn from her likes and dislikes and buy her some undies she’ll like as a surprise and get her to surprise you with them
try a little role playing (nothing that will scare her - just get her to wear her hair differently, or a nurses outfit or something ... build her confidence)
Ask her if there is anything she’d like to try - and be willing to give it a go
Positive feedback and coaching - be willing to have more cuddles and boring sex if this helps build her confidence to improve
You’ve got yourself a good girl that isn’t a slut, is smart and has half a brain. If you’re thinking long term this is way more important than sex, and good communication will improve the sex anyway. Remember, her sex drive is on the up!
What are you talking about?
Virgins are the easiest girls to train into porn stars as they don’t know any better.
C’mon, if you need to be told this then the problem might just be you.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:49am)
Wed 06 Apr 11 (11:01am)
Depends on if she is an informed virgin or a naive virgin. Some will do ANYTHING you ask them to, others get angry if you call it anything except ‘making love’.
Can’t his GF become an actor and pretend too Bossy ?
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:53am)
Please consider changing the title, Bossy. It might be perceived in the wrong light…
I saw it and recoiled in horror...my daughter is “my girl”.
Wed 06 Apr 11 (08:54am)
good point, will do
Kate de Brito
Wed 06 Apr 11 (10:31am)