Kate de Brito
Friday, February 25, 2011 at 08:12am
Dear Bossy: Let me give you a quick run through of my situation - I have been with my fiancée for over 5 years, we have a 3 year old daughter who means the world to both of us. I am 25, he is 33.We set a wedding date a few years ago, but cancelled it and instead bought a house. We haven’t set another date since. Like most couples, we’ve had our ups and downs, but lately it has all been downhill.
My partner lives for his work, and the money that it provides. I have always been the bread winner, from day 1. He has always resented this, not me in particular, more so that he feels he can’t provide for his family like he should. I have never made him feel bad about this, however he insists on working long days even tho he is on salary - until 8/9pm some nights, and takes on extra work when he can, which often entails nights and weekends. Although we don’t need the money that his 2nd job provides, he insists on getting whatever hours he can. Lately it has been most nights, and weekends, with him missing out on family birthday parties and the sort because he wants to work.
His grandfather died recently, and my partner was very close to him, so I gave him the respect and space that he needed, and thought that he would open up to me eventually. This never happened, and I ended up being excluded and ignored pretty much through the whole process. I understand that I’m not really part of the family, but his daughter is, and he pushed us both to the side. Even at the funeral he made me feel as though I wasn’t welcome, and I had no place crying along with everyone else. At one point he was quite upset, and as I tried to give him a hug, he shrugged me off. This was only a week ago and is still playing on my mind.
Now onto more personal issues. 18 months ago I had a tubal pregnancy - this severely complicated me falling pregnant again - but I was adamant on having another. He was also heartbroken when it happened, and we both agreed on having another one, sooner rather than later. Recently however, whilst I have become more involved, he has pulled away - literally in some instances. Every time I breach the subject, he just says he is tired or had a full on day and can’t focus. I never talk about the whole baby thing in every day talk, because he’s made it clear he doesn’t want me to harp on about it. I’ve tried to spice things up in the bedroom, but he makes me feel silly for doing so. Also he sleeps in the spare room - it used to be just for when he needed a really good sleep, but for the last 6 months or so it has been every night. I’ve had a few whinges and explained that we’re not a 65 yr old couple, but he still insists and will make every excuse to go into the other room. I’ve since given up.
Recently he left one of his email accounts open, and I had a browse through. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, because we never keep anything from each other. However I soon came across at least half a dozen passwords and login accounts for dating websites. At first I thought it was just a bit of fun he was having, until I realised he was on a particular website for attached people only.
Although his emails indicated he was receiving private messages, when I logged onto the dating site using his details, everything had been deleted. And he hasn’t put a profile pic, which doesn’t surprise me as I’m sure one of my friends would eventually come across it. However judging by his login “dates”, he is on there fairly constantly. But all this contradicts his supposed feelings towards any of his friends who have affairs. More than once he has told me how disgusted he is of anyone who cheats.
I want to ask him about it, as perhaps it might explain why he has been so distant lately. But I’m not sure if I should - everything seems so perfect on the outside, I’m not sure I want to ruin that? Plus I promised myself my daughter would always grow up with both her parents together. And I’m afraid it’s too close to his grandfather’s death and will just stir up the wrong emotions.
I really need some guidance on this one.
Lost.
Bossy says: Your partner is having an affair. Or he wants to. Or he is planning to. At the very least, he is having contact with women of a sexual nature.
The fact he said he finds men who have affairs repulisve counts for nothing. You have log-ons for dating sites. This isn’t harmless fun. This is intent.
I’m not sure what more infomration you need before you take action. You have this indisuptable evidence but also the first-hand knowledge he has been become incredibly distant of late. He sleeps in another bedroom. He’s off sex. And everything else has been going “downhill”.
Of course there is a chance your partner’s grandfather’s death is part of what is going on. Or at least a catalyst for some of his bad behaviour. People do all manner of stupid things when they are in the middle of life distress. But it doesn’t make it ok. And it’s certainly not something you should overlook.
Your relationship is cracking. The distance between you and your partner is the most worrying feature of everything you have discussed. And while I understand on one level you are afraid to say anything lest it create a further rift, you are in far greater danger of losing this relationship by saying nothing than if you do.
Everything may seem perfect on the outside but you know very well it’s not. Your partner knows it’s not. And whether his grandfather’s death and the other troubles you’ve discussed were a catalyst for what is going on, your partner is still in grave danger of slashing a hole right through the fabric of your relationship.
Your choice is whether you let it go ahead knowing you might have stopped it, or just sit back and hope everything will turn out right.
You say you want your daughter to grow up with her parents together. Then do something to make that happen. Talk to your partner. Sit down as adults and hope with good communication you can find a way through.
84 Comments
There most certainly is a major issue in this relationship. He has detached emotionally, usually the first serious sign of big problems. He no longer lets you in, has no interest in sleeping with you and does not want to participate in family life.
You seriously need to talk to him and be forceful if you need to be and find out where he is at. If he hasn’t had an affair I fear he is well on his way into having one. You could try and hire a private investigator and find out that way, from what you state money shouldn’t be an issue, but do you really want to go that route is the question.
Honestly I think even a time out wouldn’t help, not sleeping together, not communicating and prioritizing work over family life is just not right. You need to start the lines of communication again, if not perhaps convince him to see a counselor, but should things remain the same I fear this is one to far gone.
A wise uncle of my wife’s gave me some advise whilst on my honeymoon “never go to a seperate bed even when angry”. I never quite got it but I applied it. Hell it’s the best advice I ever received, even if we argue, we talk in bed and resolve our arguments without distractions and never do we go to bed angry. It works for us but maybe not for all.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:23am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:15am)
Seems very one way traffic here, OP, he is peeved at you for something. Do you listen to his problems or do you just bitch about it?
People don; go on dating sites to seek company unless they can’t get company at home, it’s as simple as that. Do you listen to what he has to say or you just moan and carry on about you, you, you.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:51am)
HES
NOT
*******FUCKING*******
INTO
YOU
AT
ALL
I’m sure he’ll miss you when your gone, but nothing will change how you are when your together.
Again.
HES NOT FUCKING INTO YOU AT ALL..
Fri 25 Feb 11 (01:59pm)
See I beg to differ.
My ex did much the same thing.
We were very much in love, we spent heaps of time together (and apart), our sex life was great and so forth.......all said and done we were perfect.
Until one day a ‘friend’ of hers sent me all this info from her adultmatchmaker.com.au account. Why did her best friend do this, because her best friend has morals and did not approve of her behaviour.
I was shocked I mean, I asked this woman to marry me.
So yeah even if your relationship is perfect, some people are just sociopaths or psycopaths and have no understanding of monogamy.
Listen OP there is a small chance you can recover from this, but think of the mistrust this has created, are you ever going to be able to sleep easy at night when he works late, wondering if he’s doing his workmate at some sleazy hotel?
For me my ex soliciting sex from multiple men whilst we were engaged was enough, I couldn’t forgive it, I knew I just couldn’t trust her anymore, I didn’t know what was a lie and what was the truth anymore.
Oh Bossy! He’s not having an affair, what gave you that idea, the working long hours? the lack of sexual attraction to his mrs, the shrugging off advances, the anonymous dating profile?
He’s not having an affair at all.
He’s having a Gay Love Affair.
Just announcing the elephant in the room!
Sincerely,
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:24am)
Yes, he’s having an affair:
and that is why.
Does it make him right? Of course not, if he cheats he’s a raging douche, but you’re as bad as he is for going through his emails. I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if he went through your purse.
I sympathise for your child.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:25am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:37am)
Oh please. She looked through his emails and found out he wasn’t to be trusted. If my husband looked through any of my stuff, I wouldn’t care, I have nothing to hide. Why must these things be secret?
I can’t believe you’re attributing his alleged affair, to her reading his emails, AFTER he’s already done so. How ridiculous.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:54am)
Retards who focus on the methods used to bust them.
Speaks volumes.
So let me get this straight, sure cheating is bad but YOU looked in my purse without asking!!!
Sure the guys on 9/11 dropped 2 big buildings but WE security checked them at the airport so… fairs fair right.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:06am)
This is the thing I have never been able to wrap my head around.
My husband and I have no secrets. We know all each other’s passwords and don’t feel violated in any way if we read each other’s emails or facebook messages etc. We say things like, “Hey I read that email that your sister sent you; it sucks that her boyfriend’s screwing her around.”
I mean this as a genuine question - do most married couples need privacy from each other? For what? Don’t they tell each other everything anyway? If your spouse won’t let you know their passwords etc., how do you trust them?
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:21am)
Disagree,
I have never had any compulsion toward cheating and would not have a problem with my partner going through my emails or even opening private mail. Especially if we have been together for years and have a child together.
Your Partner is not the Law, you should know and accept pretty much everything about each other. SO if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear. The most someone checking mine would get is possibly ruin a surprise party or present.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:38pm)
Sarah I think people need privacy from each other. I email friends and people completely innocently and wouldnt like anyone, my partner or anyone going through and reading them. They are my private conversations that are between me and whoever, I have nothing to hide and would more than likely tell my boyfriend about something interesting that came out of those conversations but I dont need someone knowing about my every being and existance on this earth just because I am with them. My boyfriend knows my passwords and log on details, I know some of his, I have never ever used it as I have no need to. I would never dream of going through his phone or his emails, its his personal things and we are all within our rights to keep some things for ourselves
I agree with BroG, I dont think at all that a person who snoops is as bad as the person doing the betrayal, is one supposed to not know when someone is betraying them simply because the only way to find out is by snooping on them, and thats “wrong”??? Its not right, but its not wrong either!
I’ve mentioned this before, I saw on Dr Phil once about a guy who bought his girlfriend on the show because HE felt betrayed by her because she logged onto his emails and found out he was cheating on her, he was carrying on and on about how betrayed he felt, yet HE CHEATED ON HER. Its so stupid!
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:54pm)
I think he left his email open on purpose for her to find.
If he didn’t want to get caught then this would not have been an oversight.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (01:15pm)
Oh Good Gok.
Don’t any of you peanuts understand?
Let’s spell it out:
- You cannot love without trust.
- If you look through his shit without his permission, no trust.
- Therefore, there is no love.
The decision is already made by the time she decides to “check things out” or do a little “informal investigation”. All that’s left is figuring our how much of his balls she’d like to extract via his wallet.
In the case of this idiot, she should take him for every penny he has. He’s obviously cheating, as we all know. Just get on with the surgery, already.
Remember, the kicker is it’s done BEHIND HIS BACK. Just like he is visiting sites BEHIND HER BACK.
Here’s some maths:
Behind his back / Behind her back = 1.
I need a lie down.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (02:05pm)
BroG,
that’s retarded.
If your partner doesn’t trust you enough to not look through your personal items (phone, email, snail mail) then there is already a massive problem in the relationship.
People who feel the need to snoop on their partners have something seriously wrong with them.
You don’t accidentally slip and start reading your partner’s emails,.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (02:50pm)
Sorry, but if you see smoke and find a fire you were right to check it out.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (03:07pm)
I couldn’t care less if my partner went into my handbag or opened my mail or saw my emails or phone messages. What’s the biggie?
I have running a question about this monday
Kate de Brito
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:16pm)
Your husband is looking for an out. He’s too gutless to end it himself, so he’s hoping that if he pushes you away, you’ll get the shits and end it with him.
Call his bluff. Your marriage has 2 people not one, so tell him he is neglecting you, that you have found his internet dating stuff, and that you need to sit down and come up with a workable plan to ensure that both of you can work an appropriate amount of hourse and have plenty of time to work on your marriage.
If he’s not receptive, then leave. You’ll know 100% that he’s not interested in saving the marriage if he’s not willing to work with you.
Good luck.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:25am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:08am)
Let’s face it: “he’s just not that into you”. Perfect on the outside? Sure, but would you eat a maggot-ridden piece of fruit for the same reason?
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:09am)
Hourse?
F*ck
*hours
Fat fingers today.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:38am)
Exactly right, he is too much of a pussy to end it himself, and he’s making sure he’s got another woman to go to when it does end. What a prize he is!
Seriously, do you really need to ask people’s advice about this?
1. He insists on sleeping in a seperate room from you.
2. He constantly ‘works’ late into the night and on weekends.
3. He has several logins to dating websites.
4. He makes you feel unwelcome at important family events.
5. He won’t discuss having another child with you.
Hello!!
Who cares what he’s up to or where he’s at in the relationship? What about how you feel? Do you really want to stay in a relationship with someone that behaves this way?
This makes me so angry… stop being so stupid and pathetic. It’s over, you’re just too dumb to realise it. Scrape up what’s left of your pride and tell him that you no longer want to continue in a relationship with someone that treats you so badly and with such little respect.
You don’t want your daughter growing up watching this dynamic or she’ll end up asking people for advice on how to stay with a douchbag who treats her like crap as well.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:29pm)
You need to get some self respect and standards!
You need to decide for yourself that his behaviour is not acceptable and then take him to the cleaners!
If you want advice from a mysogynist who nearly always blames the woman-ditch him, he is a douche.
I mean who avoids someone by going to work? I would avoid you by going to get a steamed pork bun on the highway at mermaid beach or driving to at least get a kebab at palm beach. I got a steamed pork bun, a pork pastry, a fried dim sim, a steamed dim sim, and a can of coke all for under $10. This is some of the finest cuisine the gold coast has to offer. Freaking awesome dude.
He is a closed book, a cheater, he’s in his thirties, and he makes you feel a fool when you do the right thing trying to whore things up in the bedroom. He has failed. Take off the rose tinted glasses sugar puff.
hope this helps.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:28am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:06am)
Or feed the rainbow lorikeets at Currumbin or ride the coasters at Dreamworld. I’m sure it’s of immense help.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:21am)
can you eat all that in two minutes? awesome.
OP, listen to potatoes, he’s being helpful.
I just can’t understand how your relationship is “perfect on the outside” and what is “the outside” of a relationship? As they say, it’s what’s inside that counts.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:09am)
Lol Potatoes.... You’re a funny spaz.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:26am)
Stop talking about pork buns!!!!
Your making my SO hungry, and their is no good Chinese near my work
arrgh ;-(
I was hoping they were in Sydney, got to love those Pork Buns. Yummy
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:55pm)
Glad I’m not the only person here that gets hungry when reading potatoes rants! mmmmm those Palm Beach kebabs are delish!
PS he’s cheating. You’re welcome. Move on and live life with your little one.
What a nightmare.
I have no idea how you think it looks “perfect”. My idea of a perfect relationship includes sleeping in the same bed, being great friends, spending lots of time together ie leaving work at same time so we get as much time together as possible, oh and sex!
Your description of the funeral is interesting. I had a similar thing happen with a very private ex. Wouldn’t open up to me about how he was feeling, couldn’t touch him at funeral. I can tell you now that did not end up working, Perhaps he’s private, but also perhaps he just doesn’t want you close in his life.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:30am)
You’re right you should do nothing. If you bury our head in the sand it will all fix itself. After all, things are perfect on the outside hey.
Good luck.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:33am)
Not sure whether to call “troll” or “insanely stupid” here.
If you’re not a troll guess what, the 5 year relationship sounds like its over.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:44am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:20am)
Maybe the Op’s partner is CTT and hes taking his time, wants it to be perfect and doesnt want to be promiscuous, maybe he wants to make sure your together forever before he looses his V-plates ?
Honey, If it looks like a duck, and sounds like a duck - it probably is a duck.
Put it all together, the long hours at work, the sleeping in another bed, the dating websites.
He is out shagging others if he isnt shagging you. Pull the pin, walk away and start again. After all, is this how you want to spend the rest of your llife? Sleeping alone and browsing through his emails?
Fri 25 Feb 11 (08:58am)
Yep, agree with Bossy. He’s having an affair or soon will be.
You need to sit him down and talk to him about his behaviour, I wouldn’t mention the site because that’ll be turned around to “of course I’m distant, you snoop on me” so it’ll be your fault.
There is something not right there at all. I’m sure it’s not his grandfather. My husband was very close with his granddad. When he died, he didn’t distance himself or sleep in another room etc.
OR he could have depression.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:00am)
Nobody goes on dating sites unless they’re looking to hook up. So he’s either shagging around or wants to, or worse he’s looking for another girlfriend.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:04am)
Everything “seems so perfect on the outside” and you “don’t want to ruin that”???
I think you are seriously deluding yourself if that’s what you really think. Bossy is right - your fiance is either already having an affair, or is certainly planning one.
You need to communicate with your partner. Without communication you can’t possibly have much of a relationship, so just talk to him about it. You may not hear what you want to hear, but you have to resolve your issues one way or the other or it’s just going to go more and more downhill, and that can hardly be a good environment for your daughter to be in.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:05am)
I think you need to talk to him about it, for your own sake as well as your daughter’s. Make sure you keep calm though when you do talk to him, as things will never get resolved when you are hot headed and angry. See what he has to say, and take action from there - dont jump to conclusions until you know all the facts.
You said you want your daughter growing up with both parents, which is great, but do you want her growing up with unhappy parents? If you leave and meet someone else, at least she will grow up with loving and positive role models, rather than 2 people who dont communicate, dont show effectiion, dont even share the same bedroom!
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:05am)
Your relationship is all but over.
Every time you approach him gently about sex etc he will see it as nagging and pull away further because it is a symptom not the root concern. You need to make him sit down and talk about it directly and lay it all out..
This is what I am seeing.
This is what i am feeling.
What does he want from the relationship.
What does he want from you.
When you have it all out on the table you can work out what to do next.
Make no mistake this will be a very hard discussiion but the other alternative is to simply walk away.
Your choice…
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:06am)
“More than once he has told me how disgusted he is of anyone who cheats.”
Just like the red-faced preachers that spout the evils of sodomy with spittle-flecked lips, and then get caught banging the chiorboy.
He’s a liar, a cheat and a hypocrite. And you never mentioned even one redeming quality. Why would you even want to stay with this pathetic excuse for a man? For appearences?!? Phfft! That’s the basis of a healthy relationship!
It’s quite clear to me that the relationship is over, and probably for the best.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:06am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:18pm)
EXACTLY!! That’s what I was thinking too. I used to have an ex that constantly accused me of cheating when I never looked twice at another man… it didn’t take long for me to figure out that he was a cheater and was always trying to ‘throw me off the scent’.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (01:45pm)
Totally agree with the Major, OP. And Bossy of course
Staying for appearances just makes you appear incredibly stupid and weak.
The people who care about you wont want you to put up with that crap, even if you do have a daughter with the guy.
Put these two things on your to do list for today:
1/ GET. RID. OF. CHEATING. SCUMBALL.
2/ BE. AVAILABLE. FOR. LOVELY. MAN. WHO. AWAITS. ME.
Listen to Major and the likes of IronMike. They speak as Men of Experience after all......
Oh hey, this sounds familiar. I was dating a guy last year who claimed to hate cheaters, but was on three different online dating sites the entire time we were going out. When I confronted him he said that he only ever logged in to reply to messages, telling the girls who messaged him that he was’t single… needless to say he got the boot, and I’m now dating a fabulous guy who is both faithful and a genuinely good person. It must be incredibly rough to have to deal with this when you have a young child to think of.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:07am)
Personally I think the ‘working late nights and weekends’ thing is when he’s meeting someone else.
Everything else Bossy said is pretty much spot on.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:09am)
Sounds like he’s saying what he is about people having affairs to try and throw you off the scent - and you seem to be more than willing to be thrown.
It truly does sound like he’s having an affair. Or affairs. You know that you know this, but you don’t want to know it.
Talk to him. There’s nothing worse than uncertainty.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:15am)
OP,
I let out a big sigh when I read your misery. Mostly because it is proof of how women are so easy to cheat on. Because of women like you I was able to play starfish with dozens of chicks without my girlfriends ever finding out.
And when they found clues, like emails, nude texts and a hair clip on my bedroom floor, they allowed me to dismiss them and reassure them there was nothing going on.
No wonder a lot of men find it hard to be faithful, or wonder why they should even bother.
My past behaviour doesn’t mean I don’t have a conscience… I just can’t understand why women stay with men who cheat.. I’ve harped on about this before, but you ladies need to take responsibility for your own destiny. Your life does not revolve around a man, even when there are kids involved.
I would never put up with anyone cheating on me. But women who have all the clues tend to shrug it off and label it as a mistake.
Not one of you has ever provided anything close to a reasonable response when I’ve asked why, oh why do you stay and forgive men who cheat.
One of my married mates hasn’t gone home three times this year and his wife refuses to believe he is cheating.
Ladies, you’re in denial and that frame of mind makes it so damn easy for me to tap another chick on the shoulder and ask her to play starfish.
Stop blaming yourself, blame your men and GET OUT. Also, stop being so damn stupid.
I hope you can all understand what I’ve just written. I tried to limit the use of big words to make it easier.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:16am)
Fri 25 Feb 11 (10:32am)
I have to agree with you ironmike. I think it somewhat comes down to respect. OP doesn’t respect herself (why would you tolerate such poor behaviour?), so of course her partner doesn’t respect her and walks all over her.
OP, start valuing yourself, and others will too. Stand up for yourself. Think about what you need from your relationship. If he can’t meet your basic needs, then it’s not going to work.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (11:11am)
Ironmike 100% correct.
Ladies, why would you ever stay with a douche who cheats on you and treats you like shit?
Why is the OP even writing in, the answers to anyone with even the semblance of intelligence are obvious?
Men like this cheat because they can, and you let them.
If women like the OP showed more respect for themselves then there would be less women sitting around bitching about how “all men are arseholes”.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (12:57pm)
C’mon you guys. Chicks put up with this type of behaviour because the man is rich/hot/bad boy etc.
If it’s not that then its so they have something to whinge about with their chick mates.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (01:47pm)
I’m on the of those women you don’t associate with, “iron"mike. I’d probably scare you into a hysterical, shrieking anti-feminist rant. I’ve never been reliant upon a man - in fact, when I did once catch one cheating on me, I beat the shit out of him, and I’d happily do it again. I take responsibility for my own destiny, and I bet that scares the hell out of you. I suspect that you’re scrawny, underpaid and using misogyny as a means of disguising your many insecurities. If you approached me in a bar I’d spit on you.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (02:47pm)
Why do people stay, when they are being treated poorly?
Well, when you’re married or have children, you probably have a strong commitment to the relationship. Of course, commitment to the relationship isn’t the be all and end all - otherwise women that have been cheated on would never leave, and that’s not always the case.
But in every relationship, there are certain times that you put up with things from your partner that you don’t think are respectful, or encompass how you want or expect to be treated. But when you look at their behaviour, you contextualise it, like if they’ve just been made redundant and are feeling depressed. And they’ve only been behaving like this for a little while.
The difficult part is drawing the line and saying, there isn’t sufficient context for you to behave this way/treat me this way or it’s been going on for too long. And I think that’s what OP is struggling with - where does she draw the line and say enough is enough. For us standing on the outside, it’s easy for us to see that the line has well and truly been passed, but I don’t think we should be disparaging about women staying with cheating men because they’ve shown commitment (perhaps too much, granted) to the relationship.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (02:57pm)
Agreed. Don’t whinge if you’re prepared to relinquish all self respect for a cheater. And not even a guy who can earn enough for you to be a kept woman as it were!
Its better your daughter grow up in a single parent house, or a repartnered parent house, than a house with both parents separated under the same roof.
Do yourself - and her - and him, a favour. Talk to him about it, find out what is going on, and make some big decisions.
Yep, it might end. But at least if it does, you will get the chance to try again and meet someone who love will last with, and your daughter will have the chance to see parents on friendly speaking terms who live apart (if you act now) rather than coldness in the family home.
Fri 25 Feb 11 (09:22am)