LONDON — Royal damage control is in full effect! The Royals have learned that Kate Middleton was actually born in 1975!
Today, January 9th, is the Berkshire-born bride-to-be’s birthday. But how old is she???
Even Prince William isn’t sure! According to unofficial records and Kate’s own statements, she was born in 1982 – making her 29 today. But new hospital documents have surfaced and indicate she was actually born in 1975 – making her 36 years old today. Prince Charles is demanding the truth and is waiting to release an official “Birthday Greeting.”
Insiders speculate that Camilla, Princess of Wales, feeling intimidated and overshadowed in light of the pending wedding, is behind the shocking leak.
Sweetheart couple William and Kate should be celebrating and planning their April 29th wedding at Westminster Abbey. Instead, they have been dutifully parading themselves around London hot spots, behaving as youthful and carefree as possible in an effort to convince the public and the rest of the royal family that Kate is who she says she is.
William will be 29 on June 21st. His birth date is very well-documented.
Kate the Younger?
Reporters have been camped out in front of Middleton’s childhood home in Berkshire since Saturday morning.
Kate the Elder?
Late Saturday night, Middleton’s father, who founded the party supplier Party Pieces with his wife, yelled from the second story window of their large tudor house. “Leave the girl alone! She’s innocent!”
Reporters pressed the tipsy father for details. “Innocent of what?” asked an OK! journalist.
The increasingly irate father replied, “She’s still young, not even forty! Plenty of time to give birth to an heir!”
It’s not clear at this point what an age cover-up would mean for Kate. Her future duchess-ness is clearly at stake.
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January 10th, 2011 at 1:15 am
This website is run by idiots!!!
January 10th, 2011 at 2:24 am
Is she? why must Kate hide her real age…36 not that old still can conceive babies
January 10th, 2011 at 4:26 am
exactly!
January 10th, 2011 at 5:03 am
More truth on this website than in the entire Labour Party put together, Alistair Campbell applied for a job as a journalist here but was rejected after Bungle George and Zippy found him out to be a complete liar.
January 10th, 2011 at 5:04 am
Phoar, I do the elder one pictured above
January 10th, 2011 at 5:05 am
I do anything I could get
January 10th, 2011 at 6:23 am
Hey I'd do that 36 year old any day of the week.Now that Camilla with the bushy armpits she.s
just what that big ear clown who advocates for plant rights deserves.
January 10th, 2011 at 6:28 am
Camilla really turns my genitals on….wow just thinking about it..oooooooooooh.
January 10th, 2011 at 6:35 am
Kate and Camilla will be discussing their differences on the G. Springer show Feb. 31.
January 10th, 2011 at 7:33 am
The Simpsons' Nelson points at Kate Middleton and says "Haha!"
January 10th, 2011 at 3:24 pm
The elder Kate picture is totally Photo-shoped. It is her eyes, hair, nose and lips onto a 36 year old women's face and body
January 10th, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Colleen… nope. Not photoshopped. Not that one…
January 10th, 2011 at 6:49 pm
I feel sorry for Kate, Will was always into older women, I am 57 and me and William have dated in the sumer of 2008. She should be proud of her age.
January 10th, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Nothing wrong with either Elder or Younger Kate! But then I'd do Megan Fox and she's a man!
January 11th, 2011 at 12:35 am
Nothing to be surprised of. There is always lies and deceptions in the circles of the British Royal Family. That is just continuing with their new generation. It was those royal dignitaries who conspired to kill Diana, and that curse is being continued on them. No body can change it.
January 11th, 2011 at 2:28 am
Don't know if the story is true. But if it is true, and the family lied about her age, then what else are they lying about? Of course, it matters if she's older. It affects a woman's ability to get pregnant. If true, the wedding should be cancelled.
January 11th, 2011 at 3:19 am
This story lacks evidence but is easily believable because of how old and haggard Kate's face looks. Is she a chain smoker or something?! Since her supposed early 20s she's looked like a woman of 30+ years, and lately, she looks very aged. Most women don't even start aging until their mid to late 30s, and Kate, although not yet 30 (again, supposedly), is already well into that process.
January 11th, 2011 at 5:29 am
"…old and haggard …"? Really? Wow… you must be living in an alternate universe… She's beautiful.
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January 11th, 2011 at 8:36 am
this story is a load of rubbish,she is actually 43. also fyi prince william was born in genk and has a soft spot standing in fields doing absolutely nothing.
January 11th, 2011 at 8:51 am
totally photoshopped, look at the eyes, they look as tho they are rolling back into her head, i can very clearly see the edited marks, nice try
January 11th, 2011 at 10:28 am
CAMILLA IS DUCHESS OF CORNWALL NOT PRINCESS OF WALES GET IT RIGHT U FAGS !!!!!!!!
January 11th, 2011 at 2:12 pm
It doesn't matter about the photos. Kate is 29.
January 11th, 2011 at 3:10 pm
36? whatever i'd still romp in the sack with her!
January 11th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Why can no one ever be happy about some one else's happiness ?? They are a lovely couple and deserve a lot more respect than given to them by rather ignorant people. I and my family contragulate Prince William and Kate (Princess Kate to be) with all our hearts. I for one believe firmly that they will be very happy, and indeed excellent for the Royal Family and our country!!
Please, British Public, be a little more positive in your thinking, please !!!
Family Heendeniya – UK and France xxxx
January 11th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
I feel very strongly about comments made about William and Kate! They are a wonderful couple and ought to be given some proper respect – PLEASE! I am German myself and have lived in UK since 1964 with my husband from Sri Lanka. We have always paid our taxes and never claimed any benefits. Therefore we feel so really genuinely happy for the Royal Family having such a beautiful girl like Kate joining their circle. Prince William and (Princess) Kate will be so very good for England, the tourist industry and the acceptance of the Royal Family abroad, I am certain !!
May we please congratulate the Royal Couple already for their union! Bless you both and do ignore people's ill-mannered comments !!!
Lots of love from
Don + Sigrid Heendeniya
and our children: Ramani Hopgood and Reiner Heendeniya
and our grandchildren: Georgie and Harry Hopgood
We all think you are beautiful beyond bounds !!! xxx
January 11th, 2011 at 4:52 pm
FYI The British royal family has connections with the Sicilian mafia. Don't be fooled by 'sweet' Kate. She's actually a Colombian drug lord (or lady).