Monday, 15 November 2010
Party Issues Artistic Purge List 2010
GLORIOUS NEWS COMRADES STOP PARTY ISSUES UPDATED PURGE LIST TREACHEROUS ARTISTIC BADTHINKERS STOP ALL PARTY MEMBERS REQUIRED TO EXPUNGE FOLLOWING TRAITOROUS MUSICAL RECORDINGS FROM PERSONAL COLLECTIONS STOP
DISSENT WILL BE MET WITH IMMEDIATE CONDEMNATION AND EXPULSION STOP
PARTY MEMBERS WILL IMMEDIATELY DIVEST SELVES OF SEDITIOUS ARTISTIC MATERIALS OF PRIMAL SCREAM STOP EXTREME RISK OF IDEOLOGICAL INFECTION/CONTAMINATION VIA CHILDISH POLITICAL ANTICS OF PARTY ENEMY GILLESPIE STOP
PARTY MEMBERS TO PURGE WORKS OF ROGER WATERS STOP PARTY ENEMY WATERS GUILTY OF SEDITION AGAINST PARTY BY INAPPROPRIATE USAGE OF ISRAELI FLAG STOP
NOTE MEMBERS PERMITTED TO RETAIN POST-WATERS ALBUMS OF PINK FLOYD STOP MAXIMUM IMPORTANCE STOP DIVISION BELL BETTER ALBUM THAN DARK SIDE OF MOON STOP REPEAT DIVISION BELL BETTER ALBUM THAN DARK SIDE OF MOON STOP
PARTY MEMBERS TO IMMEDIATELY BURN AND DENOUNCE RECORDED MATERIALS BY THE PIXIES STOP DAMON ALBARN AND GORILLAZ STOP CARLOS SANTANA STOP ELVIS COSTELLO STOP GIL SCOTT HERON STOP ALL ARTISTS DECLARED +1 THOUGHTCRIMINALS ARTISTIC BOYCOTT OF ISRAEL BASTARDS STOP
PARTY MEMBERS CAUGHT IN POSSESSION OF CONTRABAND ARTISTIC MATERIALS WILL BE CONSIDERED BELLIGERENTS AGAINST PARTY AND EXECUTED STOP
REPEAT PARTY MEMBERS CAUGHT IN POSSESSION OF CONTRABAND ARTISTIC MATERIALS WILL BE CONSIDERED POLITICALLY CONFUSED AND ASKED POLITELY TO AMEND TREACHEROUS BEHAVIOUR WITHIN DEMOCRATIC NORMS STOP
PARTY MEMBERS WILL IMMEDIATELY ACQUIRE GLORIOUS ISRAEL FRIENDLY ARTISTIC OUTPUT OF FOLLOWING MUSICIANS STOP ROCK GOD ROD STEWART STOP FANTASTIC NOT SHIT ELTON JOHN STOP GROOVETASTIC STYLINGS JETHRO TULL STOP WONDERFUL JOHN LYDON STOP VERY GOOD GUNS N ROSES STOP
PARTY APPROVED ART SUPERIOR TO POLITICALLY DEBASED AND MUSICALLY TUNELESS TERRORIST ROCK STOP
ALL TOGETHER COMRADES STOP ITS THE CIRCLE OF LIFE STOP AND IT MOVES US ALL STOP THROUGH DESPAIR AND HOPE STOP THROUGH FAITH AND LOVE STOP TIL WE FIND OUR PLACE STOP ON THE PATH UNWINDING STOP IN THE CIRCLE STOP THE CIRCLE OF LIFE STOP
PARTY MEMBERS WILL NOW ENJOY MUSICAL STYLINGS OF COMRADE JOHN LYDON IN GLORIOUS ISRAEL FRIENDLY PERFORMANCE SEX PISTOLS SONG BELSEN WAS A GAS STOP
ONWARDS TO VICTORY OVER ARTISTIC DEVIATION COMRADES STOP DETAILS GLORIOUS LINEUP DECENTPALOOZA 2011 FOLLOWS PRESENTLY STOP
-----FOR IMMEDIATE CIRCULATION ALL PARTY MEMBERS -------
UPDATE 16/11 PARTY MEMBERS TO ACQUIRE RIGHTTHINK ALBUMS OF POLITICALLY USEFUL COMRADES PETE SEEGER AND LCD SOUND SYSTEM FOR IMMEDIATE GLORIFICATION STOP
WITH FEELING THIS TIME STOP WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE STOP LONG TIME PASSING STOP WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE STOP LONG TIME AGO STOP WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE STOP GIRLS HAVE PICKED THEM EVERY ONE STOP WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN STOP
PARTY MEMBERS WILL CONTINUE SINGING UNTIL ORDERED TO STOP
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Administrative Notes - Resonance FM Interview
Saturday, 8 May 2010
Arise, Ye Warriors Of Decency!
Coming so soon after the previous crackdown's restrictions on the movement of human rights NGOs' employees, this fresh move amounts to an entirely deliberate and Dalek-esque attempt to exterminate the concept of "oversight" under the hilarious pretence that everyone in the entire universe is a racist psychopath hell-bent on Israel's destruction.
In short, it appears that we may be on the cusp of achieving the Decent dream of a world in which the IDF will be able to imprison and/or kill the fuck out of whoever it likes, whenever it likes, without having to answer a lot of impertinent questions.
None of this could've been achieved without your contribution, dear reader, for polls now reveal that...
More than half of Jewish Israelis think human rights organizations that expose immoral behavior by Israel should not be allowed to operate freely, and think there is too much freedom of expression here, a recent survey found. (Haaretz)
To be clear - the Israeli people did not wake up one morning suddenly filled with the deranged belief that human rights NGOs are jammed to the hoop with pro-terrorist, genocidal Nazis who need to be jailed. It took a long, monomaniacal and completely insane campaign of misinformation, fraudulent non-scandals and outright propaganda to reach the point where these crackdowns would be possible.
So arise, ye warriors of Decency! Whether you wholeheartedly joined in the wingnutty circle-jerk over Amnesty International and the awful terrorists or merely pretended to be terrified that Human Rights Watch was employing actual, jackbooted Nazi stormtroopers, it is your efforts that have led to this glorious outcome.
Candidly, our furious bullshit campaigns against NGOs have been so obviously premised on utter bad faith and tissue-thin innuendo that it has taken years of hard work to reach the point where the Israeli government can crush anyone and everyone who tries to draw attention to its astonishingly bad behaviour.
Our record of trumping up these hysterically dishonest and see-through allegations into a massive media bullshit explosion of blatantly fake concern about non-existent pro-Jihadism is second to none, and has played an important role in creating this situation.
So give yourselves a pat on the back, muscular liberals! You yourself may not literally have shot a Palestinian woman in the face with total impunity from scrutiny or accountability, but it's thanks in no small part to you that all of tomorrow's horrific Israeli human rights violations will take place in a media and judicial vaccuum.
Well done, to each and every one of you.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
The Court of Decency vs. Amnesty International
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S3sV_aSyOXI/AAAAAAAAAfs/0VirrKwlad0/s200/In_Decentia_Veritas.jpg)
Interim Report
(With the Decent Jihad on Amnesty International well underway, the Court of Decency has issued its interim findings on the latest witchhunt against a human rights organisation...)
1. Amnesty International is in partnership with and promoting CagePrisoners
Status: UNDETERMINED.
Amnesty vehemently deny any official relationship at all with CagePrisoners, a foolish gambit given we all know that they are literally in cahoots with the Taliban and praying for the victory of fundamentalist Islam.
2. The head of Amnesty Asia has condemned the organisation
Status: UNDETERMINED.
Sam Zafiri, Amnesty's Asia Pacific director, was reported by the Times journalist who first broke the BullshitGate story to have called upon Amnesty to "admit it had made a mistake" by allowing Moazzam Begg to speak. Zafiri has since said he was misquoted, which means he must surely have called upon Amnesty's UK directors to commit suicide by disembowelling themselves instead.
3. Amnesty is giving Begg a platform to espouse his nutty beliefs.
Status: FALSE.
Begg has only ever spoken about the secret black prison network in which he was held, and into which an unknown number of innocent and guilty individuals have vanished, many of whom have been tortured for false confessions or murdered. Amnesty has no place drawing attention to the legitimate torture and national security operations of western democracies, and referring to the US black prison network is surely just as bad as Amnesty calling for Jihad on western democracy itself.
4. Amnesty is soft on Islamists in general and the Taliban in particular.
Status: FALSE.
Amnesty's latest work on the Taliban is available here and is, admittedly, somewhat short on kisses and hugs and long on documenting human rights violations. Mind, you'll notice they Condemn the Taliban, but the question is, do they Denounce them? Do they Castigate and Excoriate them?
5. Gita Saghal was suspended for objecting to Amnesty's promotion of Begg.
Status: FALSE.
The sequence of events leading to Saghal's suspension is clear. She took part in an internal debate at Amnesty on their decision to allow Begg to speak, which she lost. Rather than resign or accept Amnesty's decision, she took her complaint to News International. Thus, Saghal was suspended for attacking the organisation in the Murdoch press, which is almost exactly the same as being suspended for her moral rectitude.
6. As a whistleblower, Saghal should be protected from victimisation.
Status: FALSE.
All of the relevant information was already in the press before Saghal spoke to the press, thus she is not a whistleblower. Nor is she being victimised, since every organisation on Earth would suspend an employee in this situation.
The Court finds that Amnesty should, however, hold itself to far higher standards than every other organisation on Earth and allow its employees to denounce it in the national press. After all, we all remember how it was totally fine when Katherine Gun leaked news that the United States had been bugging UN delegations in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq, to pick a random example.
Conclusion
On the above evidence, the Court Of Decency has no choice but to find Amnesty International hideously guilty of all charges. The fiends.
Amnesty International is hereby sentenced to twenty years of re-education by Oliver Kamm in respecting the human rights of all individuals not currently being bombed, shot, tortured or extrajudicially detained by the armed forces of the United States of America, Great Britain or Israel.The Court also commends the following agents for building this airtight and in no way misleading case against Amnesty: Denis MacShane MP; Christopher Hitchens; Harry's Place; David Aaronovitch; Martin Bright; Nick Cohen; Norman Geras; The Times; Melanie Philips and others.
Without your sterling efforts comrades, this patchwork of misleading claims, bald deceptions and outright hysterical lies would never have reached the international press.
(Cheers are due to Pickled Politics)
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
You Are The Decent Ref - Human Rights NGO Edition
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S3MUeFpX1DI/AAAAAAAAAfc/NwbGr0VGkqM/s200/YATR2.jpg)
You then discover that a hideous gaggle of despicable right-wing lunatic bastards have unearthed proof that a military analyst who works for the NGO collects World War II memorabilia, including German army issue kit and insignia, and are engaged in a wingnut circlejerk of the utmost ferocity aimed at damaging the NGO as badly as possible.
What do you do?
a) Nothing. Jesus, a military analyst who's also a massive World War II geek with a fetish for uniforms? What next, a football fan who likes lager and pies?
b) The NGO risks harm to its reputation, thus harming its ability to publicise human rights violations by tyrants and totalitarians. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to investigate and, if necessary, discipline or fire the analyst in question.
c) Publish post after post after post furiously denouncing the NGO, feigning concern for its reputation and good works while actually striving to inflict as much damage upon it as possible, while inviting a massive crowd of baying right wing fuckheads to defecate liberally over the NGO by painting it as a malign conspiracy of Jew-hating, anti-western Nazi bastards?
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S3MUkDcJMHI/AAAAAAAAAfk/E9Mngayw93Q/s200/YATR3.jpg)
You then discover that the NGO is hosting public appearances by a former inmate of a massive American black prison network with a long record of disappearances, arbitrary detention, torture and murder; the former inmate, however, holds deranged and unpleasant Islamist views.
What do you do?
a) Nothing. Jesus, the whole point of human rights is that they're universal. It's entirely obvious that states will crack down on extremists and nutters as much as they will on peaceful democratic dissidents, and any human rights org worth its salt will take both cases equally seriously. Plus, what the fuck? Torture and black prisons?
b) The NGO risks harm to its reputation, thus harming its ability to publicise human rights violations by tyrants and totalitarians. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to investigate and, if necessary, discipline or fire anyone found to have taken actions that are in conflict with the organisation's founding principles.
c) Publish post after post after post furiously denouncing the NGO while feigning concern for its reputation and good works and actually striving to inflict as much damage upon it as possible, while inviting a massive crowd of baying right wing fuckheads to defecate liberally over the NGO by painting it as a Jew-hating, Jihadist-fellating anti-western conspiracy and, further, using the issue as a stick to beat your political enemies and launching a fucking Facebook campaign?
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S3MUZEdcWiI/AAAAAAAAAfU/v-ltOgDvgTs/s200/YATR1.jpg)
You then discover absolutely any scrap of pissweak propagandistic horseshit that may damage the NGO and discredit their attempts to hold Democrats to minimum international humanitarian standards by implying that war, torture and murder may not be entertaining and laudible activities.
What do you do?
a) Nothing. Jesus, you may not agree with everything that NGOs do and may strongly disagree with some of it, but you appreciate that launching a series of vindictive and spiteful hate campaigns against the world's leading humanitarian organisations would be counterproductive and wrong-headed.
b) The NGO risks harm to lunatic, bloodthirsty and disastrous military misadventures unconditionally supported by the Decent Left, thus harming western nations' ability to launch insane and murderous bombing campaigns against heavily populated urban areas and to operate a secret network of black prisons. Type up a short blog post expressing your concern and calling upon the NGO to consider whether war, surgical strikes, arbitrary detention, torture, murder and disappearances are really worth getting all steamed up about, in the midst of a Global War on Terror.
c) Immediately seize upon any old bullshit that damages the NGO in question by pretending that the International Red Cross may have collaborated with terrorists to bomb their own ambulance, using a risible pack of wingnut lies published by a hideous shower of evil right wing bastards as evidence; Reprint a pack of dubious What If? bollocks from a well-known Republican cretin implying that Human Rights Watch conspires with the Saudi regime to falsely attack Israel; Reprint a mad Israeli wingnut's attempts to hurl huge handfuls of shit at HRW by accusing one of its employees of loving terrorists and terrorism; Instantly shit your pants in terror when an Amnesty official compares the Americans' secret torture, murder and arbitrary detention network of black prisons the Gulag; Issue a full-throated defence of international disappearance and arbitrary detention or a masturbatory Real-Men-Ain't-Afraid-Of-Torturin'-a-Bad-'Un display of belligerent machismo; call for "morally serious" people to have a debate on torture, an issue which deserves careful consideration, and generally make it clear that opposition to western human rights violations is the preserve of ivory tower-dwellling pro-Islamists who pray for the destruction of western civilisation?
Answers
Mostly a)
If you like Jihadistan so much, why don't you fuck off and live there, you relativist, genocidal Osama Bin Liberal bastard?
Mostly b)
There's a time and place for level-headed, rational discussion, and it's never and somewhere else.
Mostly c)
Congratulations - you are a morally serious, level-headed Decent. Our deranged plan to suicide bomb every left-wing organisation and institution on the face of the planet into submission, in the insane hope that a new, more politically acceptable network of human rights organisations will automatically spring into existence on the day of the Rapture, proceeds apace. Onwards to an ill-defined and probably fantastical victory, comrades!
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Arrogance
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S2tBjcpE_CI/AAAAAAAAAfM/vW6RK9gFU5Y/s200/Arrogance.jpg)
1. Disgusting anti-war groupthink of sniffy left wingers, contending that there were no good reasons for supporting an insane, half-arsed, ill-defined and transparently doomed militaristic clusterfuck led by morons with support from the undead cast of Iran/Contra: The Musical.
2. The dogmatic certainty that a war that resulted in horrifyingly brutal civil strife and mass slaughter, sectarian partition, the rocket-propelled national decline of the invaders, the invaded nation and all of their allies in the region, plus the vast empowerment of reactionaries and lunatics, was somehow a bad idea.
By hewing to the bien-pensant party line, liberals on the internet have perpetrated possibly the most tragic injustice of the 21st century in implying that an elderly academic's opinions are cretinous, deluded and cracked, leaving him feeling somewhat slighted.
Source: "Why can't those who opposed the war admit that I cheerled this easily-avoidable, murderous catastrophe in good faith?", Normblog: Extract from page 388, Chapter Seven, Book Nine of the Professor's thirty two-volume epic poem "Just Because It Was a Disaster Doesn't Mean I Was Wrong, You Snotty Liberal Bastards".
Friday, 29 January 2010
Emboldened
![](http://web.archive.org./web/20110223021941im_/http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_PPJ8spd0kNE/S2MyW2RGm6I/AAAAAAAAAfE/A3Tb53dQMWU/s200/Popeye.gif)
1. Superhuman status acquired by terrorists if and when citizens refuse to endorse insane government policy (x).
"We must remember that we are at war and that, if we fail in our responsibility to dispense with the judicial system/look up your arse with this enormous camera/bomb Hong Kong to smithereens, our enemies will be emboldened".
2. Supervillain status that would have been acquired by Saddam Hussein if Parliament had refused to endorse the liberation of Iraq.
"Having put in place the necessary military forces to remove Saddam Hussein, he would have been emboldened if we had then refused to remove him".
"With respect Mr. Blair, I do not recall a frenzied public clamour for the deployment of 200,000 British and American soldiers to Iraq's borders. For you to then blackmail the country into precipitate military action because of a situation that you have yourself consciously created seems rather -"
"Yes, indeed. He would've been entirely emboldened, as would have been his sons."
3. Following the whipping out of the Prime Ministerial penis in Parliament, the argument that those opposed to immediate and copious public urination across the front and back benches would, intentionally or otherwise, like to hold hands with fascists and kiss them on the lips and everything.4. Terroristic state of depravity somewhat worse than underlined and significantly worse than italicised.