Kate de Brito
Friday, December 17, 2010 at 08:20am
Dear Bossy: I have read your blog for around 10 months now and could really use your advice about my fiancee, lets call her “Amee”. We met around 8 months ago at a night club, she is 19 and I am 27 and we are due to marry in around 8 weeks.
To cut a long story short, I had heard some disturbing stories from some of Amee’s friends who she was cheating on me with a lot of different guys while I was at work (I work night shift). To be honest with you, I didn’t really take these stories too seriously, and figured her friends were trying to break us up because they fancied me (I am quite handsome, have a full time job and own my own car).
Here is where it gets pretty messed up. I came home from work early one evening to surprise Amee and take her out to dinner and a movie, but when I got there I saw my best mate Andrew’s car in the driveway. As I walked into the house I heard noises coming from our bedroom, and when I went to investigate I discovered my fiancee was engaged in a threesome with Andrew and my other mate Steve. As you can imagine, I was furious and had a heated argument with both of my so called mates, who I have not spoken to since.
I left for a few hours and when I returned I found Amee waiting for me. We had a long deep and meaningful in which she apologised and told me she thinks she was doing all this because of wedding jitters. She came clean and told me she cheated on me with about 7-8 guys, but has sworn she will never cheat on me again. I am confused to say the least and have two major issues, firstly, the wedding has been paid for (although I think if I do go ahead with the marriage I will need to find new groomsmen) and secondly, I still really love her and believe she has made a couple of foolish mistakes which she will never repeat.
Do you think wedding jitters could make someone act so out of character? And do you think she will remain faithful?
Bossy says: Ha ha. OK, I’ll bite because it’s almost Christmas. If you are a troll I’ll just let you have this one for free.
Amee doesn’t have pre-wedding jitters. She has a dead set case of nymphomania. Shagging seven blokes in the eight months you’ve been together is more than a couple of foolish mistakes.
Dump your girl. Shagging two of your friends while engaged to you is almost pathological. Who has that much trouble controlling themselves? Should she even want to shag other blokes when you are in the first flush of love? And if so, how will things be after five years?
At the very least your girl has a massive destructive streak. She will cause you nothing but pain and humiliation. Call off the wedding. Take an overseas trip. Travel until you heart stops burning. Never speak to your arse-hat mates again.
116 Comments
mmmmmmmmmm, mad Friday or you wanted to write a sex story OR you are just plain stupid .
Dump her if its a real story and find someone worthwhile .
She is a ( fill in the space for whatever word/s you can call her.)...................................................
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:28am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:56am)
Mike, this guy needs an excuse to be a real man.
As always the answer lies in the dungeon, corrective training for her and “how to be a man” lessons for him.
Simple as that.
I’m not advocating violence against women, far from it, only the mentally weak are violent to those less physically strong than themselves. What the dungeon teaches is respect and appropriate boundaries. As soon as a woman loses respect for a man or the man fails to put reasonable boundaries in place the woman WILL, 100% guaranteed, lose respect for him and he will either become a miserable excuse for a man or he will be dumped for a man prepared to take the woman in hand.
Again, this is not about violence or even control, it is about establishing respect, boundaries and consequences.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (11:07am)
“Do you think wedding jitters could make someone act so out of character? And do you think she will remain faithful?”
Are you fucking kidding OP, out of character, sounds like you dont have a clue what her character is, and infact it sounds like its exactly her character, not only that but her dearest friends risked everything to tell you about her the whole time for which you ignored because surely they must like you after all you have tickets on yourself why wouldnt anyone else right ?
Dude, she didnt make a couple of silly mistakes, she’s been fucking your mates ever since day one, 7-8 people is not a couple of silly mistakes, your friends have probably had their cock in your girl more than you have....
If this is how stupid you are im suprised you are capable of placing food in your mouth or remembering to breath frequently.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (02:37pm)
Buy her knee pads and a face towel for xmas then leave dude.
Dude are you freakin stoned? Seriously your even contemplated staying with her? All I can say that is if you do, you deserve what is coming your way.
She has no respect for you, she has no desire to remain faithful and I bet if the roles were reversed she’d have left you. This has nothing to do with wedding jitters mate, it has to do with a girl who is worth nothing trying to screw you over.
Dump the b*tch and be thankful you found out before you got married and had kids,she would have then take you for everything you had. Sometimes life throws you a lifeline, it’s up to you see the writing on the wall, if you miss it, well then it’s on you.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:29am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:08am)
SLLLUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
I dont care if this is a troll.
Dude, if you marry her, you are an idiot and after the divorce you will be a poor, handsome (by your own admission), divorced idiot.
No one seems to have any kind of respect for you. Try and find some for yourself, man up, take a trip around the world and sow your wild oats in many foreign women.
But for Gods sake, do not marry her. She can see how fat your wallet is and she wants a sizeable chunk. She sees you as stable and loving, and she wants that, she also wants an all night Fu**fest as well.
As for the age gap, age is not everything. I met my ex at 18 and he was 28 almost 29. Yet I didnt do all the things she is doing to you. She is just immature.
But still dump her and find someone else.
Sharing’s Caring.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:35am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (11:06am)
OMG - Your godo looking WITH your a full time job and a car........I don’t kow if I can control myself either.....
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:36am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:25am)
I know, and all by the age of 27!!! Is that you, Mark Zuckerberg?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:27am)
Indeed, I was quite taken with these attributes myself. We can laugh, but maybe they’re uncommon in meth addict circles or something. Or maybe the OP is the first person in three generations of his family not currently in prison. So he may have reason to be proud. Anyway it was only 7 or 8 mates, the figures are a bit uncertain.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:14pm)
Sounds like he’s happy to end up half good looking with a half time job and half a car ... That is if she only takes half. She could easily take all your self-esteem. You’re obviously batting out of your league if it takes your 2 “best mates” and 7 or 8 other blokes to keep her happy.
I can see you ending up as a belittled, pathetic spectator in this relationship. You have hit the ice-berg, abandon ship before it sinks and takes you down with it.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:38pm)
I know some meth addicts who are good looking have a job and a car lol.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:46pm)
Bwahahahahaha so funny I have coffee coming out my nose now…
Its getting more difficult to pick the trolls, Bossy - there are a lot of stupid people in the world, and it doesn’t seem to be improving. The other letter is a case in point.
If its real - why you would be marrying a 19 year old at your age is the first question I would be asking - another silly immature child is not someone who should be getting married. Clearly that will end in tears. And probably cost you a lot of money - she sounds like one of those slapper women.
If it isn’t real - I think you should have sent this letter to one of those mens magazines. You know, the ones you read for the ‘articles’.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:37am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:44am)
Even though there are a lot of stupid people in the world I’m still optimistic that people in real life aren’t as stupid as the OP, I reckon the OP is a troll.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:58am)
Nah IL, if he’d meant it for a mens *article* he would have joined in with the 3’some....
But seriously OP, that aint wedding jitters, thats a wedding jilter. She’s got her cake and she wants to eat it to - do you really want to be the chump who will always be the last to know??
Dump her asap and leave her to grow up (if she survives the diseases). And find new mates, because that other lot’s just nasty.
If you’re *all that*, as you say, then you wont have any trouble picking up a lovely lady worthy of your considerable assetts *ahem* I mean charms, once you ditch the slutbiatch. Although I do suggest you spend some time single, so you can admire yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how wonderful you are a few more times first.
Or not. But unless you’re into sloppy seconds (or thirds or...) and/or willing to make up numbers in a tag team fashion with your girl/wife you may want to cut your losses now, before Great Aunt Agnes asks for an explanation of why you rescinded her wedding invite after she bought a fab new frock…
“A troll”. Well its no bad reflection on Bossy for answering even if falling for a troll. Genuine-ness is not naivity.
I have taught and supervised many. Some have seemed hopeless but you do what you can.
Someone behaves as a smartarse destructively so and it reminds me of how ruthless I can be - I hate that. Man I could tear you apart. There are better ways than a chainsaw. It is easy to whiteant someone’s psych. Enough said.
If you’re a troll kindly piss-off.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:38am)
Haha, You describe yourself as handsome etc, yet you can’t see that it is obviously just a desperate ploy to hold onto you and your wallet.
Although I bet now you feel like a tosser for thinking her friends were after you and now you realise that they were just trying to save you some heartache.
Dump her. If you don’t you’ll be filing for divorce in under a year.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:40am)
You know what i don’t get, this:
“I am quite handsome, have a full time job and own my own car”
You have a full time job and a car?!?
WHAT A CATCH!
i couldn’t even be bothered reading past that
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:41am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:27am)
Should we be concerned that he doesn’t own a house?
Does owning your own house make you less attractive, OP?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:37am)
Exactly, imagine, a full time job AND A CAR, at only 27 years of age! This is one of Australia’s up and coming wunderkinds, for sure. What’s next, a big screen TV?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:04am)
OH THANK GOD SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT. The guy is twenty-seven. Car ownership and full-time employment are things that roughly 70% of twenty-seven year olds have. Unless that job is “velociraptor breeder”, why the hell would anyone be impressed with that?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (11:12am)
What a catch I might have to change teams to be with him
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:42pm)
If he was a velociraptor breeder, then I’d certainly want to date him.
Only to gain access to baby dinosaurs which I can then train to create an army capable of taking over the entire world of course. But it would also be cool if I could borrow his car until I appoint myself Emperor of Earth after which I will travel exclusively by helicopter or submarine.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (02:14pm)
That’s nothing… when I was 27 I had all that, plus a complete of Star Wars trading cards! All in mint condition (except for the Princess Leia ones from Return of the Jedi, they’re a bit stained.)
threesome, o wait… already been done.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:43am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:42am)
exactly…
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:53am)
LOL!!! Nice one.
She’s 19, I think that says it all.
She isn’t ready for marriage, she’s ready to set herself up to take half of your car.
Agree with Bossy, get the flock out of there and consider the wedding costs the cheap way out.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:43am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:50pm)
LOL. “..take half your car”.
Laugh....Out....Loud.
Thanks Vossitch, I think a bit of wee came out.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:40pm)
Half your car lol.
Don’t forget half is job and good looks!
Fri 17 Dec 10 (02:20pm)
hahaha “half your car”!
TROLL!!
But I agree with the lovely Bossy in this situation (if it a real one).
Also like to add that she is 19 and you are 27.... That is a massive difference in age! She is just becoming a woman and finding out who she is. I’m not surprised she is sowing her wild oats before she settles down with you. You’ve have your years to do so.
Good luck with everything.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:43am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:08am)
Don’t automatically assume that age is everything. I was 19 and my bloke was 26 when we wed, and that was 6 years ago - still very happy and just bought a house together.
I would say the fact she is bonking anything that moves is a bigger indication of future relationship success than an age difference.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:33pm)
LALa.C:
Dont get me wrong, i am in the same boat as you.
Regardless though, i have a very firm understanding that at different ages your into different things, for example someone who is 50 will have no issues getting with someone who is 60, theres no difference, someone who is 15 will have difficulty with someone who is 25, cops for one .
At 15-19 men and women discover themselves, start going fur in funny places blah blah blah. Someone at 19 is expected to run a much and play the field, if she is the exception then so be it, but ALL her friends will be doing what she SHOULD be doing .. playing the field begining to get life experience, someone almost 30 should have their shit together a stable ... everything, the 30 year old might be getting clucky worried his lifes nearing the cut off point for kids whereas the 19year old is a fucking kid herself.
Its hard enough finding someone your own age that are on the same wavelength let alone someone of different ages, different ages they are at different stages in their lives and want different things from life.
Where you and i might be the exception to this, i dont for a second believe that its so common and everyone else experiences it the same.
Its definately easier and alot closer to the truth to say couples with ages gaps dont work than to say all relationships with large age gaps work brilliantly. And lets face it, he’s writing into bossy for assistance you realise.
Partygirls have about as much chance of becoming loyal wives as leopards do of changing their spots into velociraptor claws.
No matter how much they tone it down for a while they’ll end it in a few years saying they’re bored or they’ll cheat on you before ending it.
Your girl didn’t even make it that far.
End it.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:44am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:54pm)
What’s with all the velociraptor mentions?
Is the OP really a velociraptor? If so, is his girlfriend also a velociraptor or is she some other kind of dinosaur? If she’s another kind of dinosaur maybe that is the reason behind their break-up?
I know that Rex and Trixie seemed to work well together in Toy Story, even though he was a Tyrannosaurus Rex and she was a Triceratops, but that was a movie. And we didn’t find out what happened with the Velociraptor that Trixie had been chatting to online prior to Rex’s arrival. Maybe Trixie is still secretly chatting to the Velociraptor online? It’s almost as scandalous as Woody and Dolly getting it on when Bo Peep isn’t even cold in the grave.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:41pm)
I like that this is the second mention of velociraptors on this blog today!
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:47pm)
2 velociraptor references in one thread? What are the odds?
Can you post her phone number?
Sincerely,
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:46am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:19am)
Bahahahaha! What an awesome story. Told so well!
Fri 17 Dec 10 (09:34am)
hahah
ahh
love it
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:00am)
Bahahahahahahahaha!
love it
Fri 17 Dec 10 (10:42am)
+1
Nice one Dr.Opkick
Fri 17 Dec 10 (11:00am)
Seriously, can you post her phone number?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (11:09am)
Tag team, Dr Op?
Fri 17 Dec 10 (01:59pm)
The good doctor doesn’t play sword fights with his todge Jake.....
Fri 17 Dec 10 (04:08pm)
Sounds like it already has been poster on the inside door of every seedy mens bathroom....
Keep the girl. After all, you’ve paid for the wedding that is the most important consideration. Just make sure you get in on the threesome action in the future and that you at least occassionally get to have a girl-girl-boy threesome in addtion to your fiance’s preferred model of a boy-boy-girl threesome.
She won’t need to sneak around, you won’t lose your wedding money, it’s a win-win!
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:46am)
OP, you’re insane if you think this girl loves you. people who love each other do not f*ck other people, especially during the honeymoon period?
plus, she’s a child at the age of 19! she likes you for your looks and money. that’s it. if you value yourself, you’ll call the wedding off. she’s not a keeper and you know it. ps your so-called mates should also be made history.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:47am)
Troll..
“Amee” instead of “Amy”
“I am quite handsome… have my own car”.
Nice one, but a bit too obvious!
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:50am)
Fri 17 Dec 10 (12:40pm)
What are you on about? It’s not Amy, it’s Ae’mii.
She sounds like a hussy.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:51am)
I think there’s too much sex on TV.
Some people are using it for inspiration to write false sob stories.
I’m going to read the Courier Mail for some ‘true’ stories.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:52am)
Your 27 and a mature adult (minus the I am so handsome call) and she is 17 and a kid. Too much age difference at that point. If you were 37 and she 27 you would have a fighting chance but she doesn’t know who she is yet and when she finds out as she matures, I am afraid you wont be part of the equation
thats my opinion on her age. On her bonking history, she is a manky cow, a skanky ho, a dirty stop out. Of course its not wedding jitters, she is a dead set low down beatch
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:52am)
What Bossy said.
Fri 17 Dec 10 (08:54am)