Relationships: Is the gift really in the giving?
Emma-Kate Dobbin
Thursday, December 02, 2010 at 11:58amIt’s the time of Christmas spirit, wishes for peace on earth, and all things sparkly.
Yet for many couples in Australia there is one little thing that kills the mood for kisses underneath the metaphoric mistletoe.
Presents: The good, the bad and the ugly!
“Santa baby, that’s not the perfume I wear!” or “Thanks for that toaster darling… I’m gluten intolerant…nice you paid attention!”
T-shirts instead of TVs, DVDs instead of dresses, appliances instead of… well you get the drift…
But why do people get so ugly if the gift is meant to be in the giving and not receiving?
Is it because both men and women have become spoilt brats? Or for some people is it something deeper?
“When someone you are romantically united with, gives you a gift that you don’t like… it symbolizes two things: 1. No thought went into it or, 2. That in essence they don’t even know who you are, which is a massive problem,” says Mandy, 24, over email.
It’s not that men are the only ones guilty of “buying bad presents”. But maybe for women, it just seems to say so much when it’s something that they would never want or wear?
As Sarah, 31, says: “A gift is meant to be about showing that you know someone.”
Personally, I love buying presents, especially for a partner. It’s just so exciting thinking about something extra special that they might like. But it’s not always a price thing. Some of the most thoughtful gifts are often based on memories or something unique.
I once had a boyfriend who got insanely jealous of the Xmas presents one of my best guy friends (who is gay) would get me. They were always very unique and special to me – like an antique tea cup we’d seen on a Sunday walk half a year earlier.
I would always say there wasn’t an expectation on presents. That his were just as meaningful and completely different. But for him, the gift was clearly in buying emotion.
Guys suffer present envy too.
“My old girlfriend buys me 100s of presents, but never anything I would actually like,” says my mate Mathew. “She got me things she wanted me to wear. It drove me quietly insane, watching my mates get the latest TVs.”
Which makes me think: When it comes to relationships – if the gift is meant to be in giving – and the person you have being the biggest gift of all – why do so why many people look a gift horse in the mouth (in rage)?
What do you think? Is the gift in the giving? Are women better at buying presents? Do modern men and women need to stop being so selfish? Does buying a present you’ve put no thought into represent something deeper? What’s the worst present you’ve ever been given by someone?
Have Your Say
Profile
Emma-Kate Dobbin
Journalist Emma-Kate Dobbin tells you what she’s learned about the workings of the male mind and the opposite sex.
Latest Articles
Recently Popular
| Article |  |
|---|---|
| Should modern men ‘man up’? | 232 |
| Are you a bad date? | 189 |
| Are men more annoying than women? | 176 |
| Relationships: Is the gift really in the giving? | 126 |
| I’m on holidays for the week! | 0 |
View Entries by Date
Monthly Archives
Tools
News.com.au Blogs
|
||||||||||||
From around the News Blog Network
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Giving a gift to a partner is about buying something they know they will like and will bring a smile to their face. I prefer a partner to buy me sometthing practical that I like rather than a lovey dovey present. That’s just me, and an attentive partner will realise that.
I don’t believe women are better at buying presents. Perhaps on average they are, but in my case they are not. For my last partner I bought plenty of awesome gifts.
For example, we both loved the tv show “the office”. It was our show in the beginnng of the relationship. One of the main characters gets his crush a teapot she loved and fills it with little things that are tied to memories they have. So knowing she likes the office and teapots too, I did the same thing. One of the items was a tiny stuffed chicken that adopts a free range chicken on her behalf, because I called her ‘chicken’. There were 6-8 other things in there too. That was one of many presents like this, so please, women don’t buy better presents than me.
Obviously not this much thought goes into presents for other people, partly because you don’t get to know people like you get to know a serious partner.
The worst present I have been given...when I received nothing perhaps? That’s a little bit of a slap in the face I suppose.
Yes, some people need to be less selfish. When want to buy a special present for someone I don’t think about the price (unless it makes me broke!). But you do have to consider who you;re buying for and what type of relationship you have with them. I’m not about to spend heaps of money and put lots of thought into a present for someone I met a month before the event.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:18pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:34pm)
The British (and better) or the American version of The Office???
so - you say practical - what does that include out of interest?
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:01pm)
Hmmm, you seem to take an inordinate amount of pride in your gift-giving skills, but really....
Your first example ? Somebody else’s idea. How much thought goes into somebody else’s idea? Somebody else may have put a great deal of thought into it !
Your second example ? A stuffed chicken? Really ?? I think I would prefer a couple of real-life free range chickens, not a useless stuffed toy !! Cute, maybe, but… not exactly the mind-blowingly awesome gift that your post suggests it is !
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:28pm)
Gigi- The American.
Practical gifts include a lot of things.
Hmmm: I don’t think you understand the point. She did (on both counts), so obviously it had the desired effect. ps both “examples” were part of the same gift.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:48pm)
Oh and ‘Hmmm’, while I know this is a tad defensive, thinking of what things would be decent memories and would all fit in a teapot together was quite the in depth gift.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:59pm)
haha - thanks for elaborating! Surely you don’t really like socks and jocks eh??
so what’s a fantastic present you’ve got - i didn’t see any spectacular mentions you’ve ever received - whether they be small and thoughtful or big and lavish.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (04:00pm)
@Hmmm
I think you missed the point entirely there. His present hit the right spot, so what if he took someone else’s idea and added his bit of love to it.
What fantastic present have you given someone that had a similar effect?
Thu 02 Dec 10 (05:47pm)
Gigi- Awesome presents. Hmm…
Well 5.1 speakers for the blu ray player I bought was good. Photo frame with a really good picture of myself and her was good at the time(not so useful now...) and that does err on the lovey dovey side.
BigBadWoof- Thanks.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (08:15pm)
The idea is to know your partner, and I think that Smidgeling has got it spot on.
Others may think, ‘what a dumb present’, but obviously she thought it was awesome, and that’s what counts.
Many people (guys and girls) seem to think there is a magic ‘formula’ for buying a gift that someone of the opposite sex will appreciate, instead of taking the time to really get to know their partner.
My best gift? It is a toss up between my garden mulcher (I am a keen veggie gardner), or my sewing machine (another hobby I love in my spare time). Expensive perfume, underwear or jewellery never cut it for me because it is stuff I never use or wear.
This year I am getting a great white shark (sponsorship) for christmas, and I am stoked!
Fri 03 Dec 10 (11:03am)
Truly your whole gift is moot because the US version of the Office SUCKS.
i adore giving presents - not just at Christmas but the random ‘just because’ presents - but yeah it’s gotta have thought and effort into it not just a two second browse job which shows no planning. Not sure i’d say either gender is better at presents buying - i know of many women at work who seem to think they don’t need to give presents to their partner because he’s a man which is just crap really - men enjoy presents just as much as women!!
I had an ex buy me all my favourite things last Xmas - perfume, tea glasses, lingerie and i knew how many hours he spent hunting things down on the internet for me to be very sweet and well appreciated.
I do get annoyed when people say they dont’ have enough money to buy a good present - it’s not about the expense - it’s about the thought and creativity involved, you can do some really cute and loving things without spending more than $10.00.
Best present ever - well i’d still say it’s my framed Waterhouse picture - my favourite painting hand matted and framed - loved it!
Worst present - hmmm - probably a sewing kit i got when young, and if you know my lack of talent with sewing you would know how bad a choice it was. Either that or my brother in law’s Redback t-shirt - just cos he knew i hate spiders.....
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:19pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (04:14pm)
Not sure how i forgot this but my worst Valentine’s present was being taken to a strip club - i kid you not!!
It was an ‘interesting’ experience to say the least and one which still leaves me scratching my head to this day how my ex thought it was the least bit romantic.
Never expect a gift. Even for Christmas.
The whole xmas gift-giving thing came to a head for me last week, when my partner asked her mum (who lives interstate) what she’d like for xmas. One should know we are visiting in the first week of January.
Mum replied “Myer gift cards, because bringing things up is hard!”
She also apparently stated that she would send us Bunnings gift vouchers (as she did last year) so we can continue work on our house.
I’ll just let the utter nonsense of that seep in for a moment.
Of course, it wasn’t until that was explained to me that I looked back at my darling partner and said “So we’re buying each other money for Christmas?” that it all sank in.
Now, we’re going to get presents that actually require thought. Her mum’s going to get one of those nifty kitchen knife magnets you put on the wall, since she got her kitchen rebuilt this year all shiny.
We’ll probably still get vouchers.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:40pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:46pm)
Yeah, I’ve always thought the idea of vouchers both ways was a little pointless. Even more so when they’re the same amount of money. There’s just no point.
However, I encourage people to get me vouchers because I usually end up buying everything I want because I can. If I don’t buy something specifically so someone can get me it the idea of a present becomes a little redundant.
I’m lucky enough that the people that i buy gifts for don’t always have the money for what they like or they like soppy gifts.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (09:57pm)
I think vouchers are about the most insulting gift one could give. Fair enough, if there is distance involved and all that. I have to say though, if anyone handed me a myers voucher I’d be monstrously offended.
To me it’s saying that the giver couldn’t give a shit but felt thay had to give you something anyway.
I’d rather be given a vegemite sandwich.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:33am)
I understand if you just get a generic gift voucher but honestly i like vouchers - i just got one from my old neighbour in my xmas card for my favourite chocolate shop - which i think is AWESOME!!
I give a few of my female friends vouchers for a very sexy lingerie shop as i dont want to guess their size incorrectly or pick out something they think is not their style - and they love it - it’s perhaps about what store you get the voucher from.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:58am)
Totally agree on the Myer voucher. Even a voucher for a niche store is better, as a Myer one just screams ‘I have absolutely no idea what you like’.
My friend bought me a JB gift card once because she knew I love scouring their bargain bins for awesome underrated DVDs, but hadn’t seen me in a few months so was worried about doubling up. That was great.
My sister on the other hand, who had obviously known me a hell of a lot longer, bought me a Myer voucher. I had never shopped at Myer in my life.
I finally ended up using it nearly 2 years later to buy her christmas present that year, though I was tempted to just re-gift it back to her…
Fri 03 Dec 10 (11:02am)
Personally I don’t like Vouchers,
But my Dad Begs for them, he is a Music Fanatic his CD collection is now close to 5000, As my Mum wont let him near a CD shop with cash, at least the JB voucher he has to spend there, and not on something more practical.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (11:05am)
Never have I understood how someone could be offended by a wildly practical gift such as a voucher. Fat westeners.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (02:11pm)
It always amazes me how people look down their nose at someone because it’s “a voucher” because it’s just “money” right?
I don’t think so. I think the voucher can tell you whether or not someone is aware of what’s going on in your life and what’s important to you.
You’re working on your house. She’s giving you a Bunnings voucher which means that’s anywhere from 10-100 dollars worth of stuff you don’t have to worry about. She’s putting money towards you finishing your house. It’s easily transportable. She can’t actually give you things for your house or garden that are practical to take back. She’s making sure it’s not something that just gets swallowed up by bills. I’d say there’s a lot of thought that’s gone into that.
Maybe she wanted a Myer gift card because she’s thinking of trying a new perfume, but because perfume is such a personal thing, she wants to make the choice herself.
Sometimes a voucher is as simple as giving someone the gift of joy that only comes from finding the thing you want, even if you didn’t know you wanted or needed it. That’s how I found out that I quite like skinny leg black jeans.
But then, I think if you’re so caught up on why someone bought you a ‘crappy’ present you’ll always miss the fact that they even bothered to buy you something at all.
Well, I think gift giving is sort of overrated.
I don’t mind giving gifts, but I’m way past expecting anything I would really like.
The act of gift giving to me is the gift unto itself. I appreciate the thought of wanting to gift me something, not so much the gift itself.
(Wow, how many times have I used the word ‘gift’ till now?)
My partner isn’t a very romantic person. He is extremely pragmatic. The most romantic thing he ever did for me was to buy me an air ticket to visit my family on a special occasion when I said I was missing them.
But being a pragmatic person myself, I appreciated the thought of wanting to make me happy. He thought it would make me happy and it did.
A friend of mine bought me a toaster for my birthday. I thought it was sweet of her, even though I don’t really fancy Dora very much.
But I have a rule of thumb when giving gifts - men, I will always buy gadgets. Kids, I’ll buy something with a microchip in it (like a remote control toy car). Women, a gift card or gadget/gadget-related.
Gadgets are a great gift for anyone because they are useful and even if they didn’t like it or already have one, they can always sell it easily for cash.
I think we all forget that it is the act itself which we should be happy and thankful for, not the gift itself.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:44pm)
well last christmas my boyfriend got me a juicer… considering im only 20 and still live at home this was not what i had in mind! i found it strange because im not at the practical stage in life yet
although this year he is getting me an ipad so it makes up for it!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:55pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:06pm)
Don’t laugh, but my wife’s first birthday after we were married, she received RAYCO saucepans of all sizes. From myself, my parents, grand-parents etc. We didn’t have a decent set of stainless-steel ones so I arranged with my family (I don’t count the ceramic $20 saucepan sets at K-Mart “good").
My wife was horrified and speechless at the time.
But given these were all $100 each, it was a big, long term investment, in something we wouldn’t normally be able to afford.
15 years later they are still as good as new, and my wife has appreciated it for a long time. The shock has worn off !!!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (05:30pm)
I got the same saucepans as a hand-me-down from my mum, which she received at *her* wedding, Blackadder, and they are seriously the best things ever. They’re nearly 30 years old and still going strong.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:33am)
Blackadder - I would be mortified if anyone gave me saucepans for my birthday. I don’t give a crap if they are diamond studded - they are still domestic cooking appliances - thus implying that is my job. How incredibly rude.
Sure, you need them - so have your family chip in for an xmas present to both of you, or a housewarming present, or a wedding gift. If you love them so much, have them for your birthday.
It is sad if people feel that they are entitled to large, expensive gifts. And don’t say “it’s not the gift, but the thought that counts’. In my experience the people who regularly say this are the ones that complain the most.
I love giving gifts to my loved ones and usually put a lot of thought into it. I have never complained about an ‘inappropriate’ gift, as I value the love that went into buying the gift. Somebody valued me enough to buy me a gift. I teach my children to appreciate all gifts and show gratitude to the giver.
I think we create a problem when we buy our children heaps and heaps of presents at Christmas and birthday time. They start to expect many gifts and don’t appreciate the small ones. When these children become adults, they continue to expect the biggest and best.
I have seen parents at toy sales buy trolley loads of gifts and then it is only for 1 child. Craziness if you ask me. We are raising a generation of ungrateful brats.
My man doesn’t need to buy me big gifts, he just needs to tell me that he loves me. That is enough for me.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:55pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:40pm)
Thats not always the reason. My sister and I were spoilt rotten with gifts at birthdays (each others) Christmas, random days when mum was shopping, hell I even got a TV and DVD player and camera for Easter. We appreciated everything we got and still do now. Id prefer a hand picked bunch of flowers from my boyfriend than something that he spent his entire pay on. I think its more about the way kids are taught to receive presents from someone.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:18pm)
I don’t agree about people that say it’s the thought that counts translating to whingers who want big gifts. Maybe there are some people actually out there who really do appreciate the small thoughtful gifts?
Thu 02 Dec 10 (05:20pm)
My favourite gift of all time is a mouse made of shells and pipe cleaners that my little brother made for me at kindy… I still have it, 25yrs later…
The gift that gave me the shiites was the breadmaker my ex gave me because he wanted to come home to fresh bread every day....
Its not the amount of MONEY you spend (in my view), but the amount of thought and love you put into something. A bunch of freshly picked flowers just because you were thinking of someone, or a house plant to brighten a room - or even a small box of chocs for someone who is feeling unappreciated…
So little random thoughtfulness happens in the world now, which is a shame. I try to do something to make someone smile on a regular basis, because it is a nice feeling. Unfortunately no-one ever does the same for me :-(
My boyfriend hasn’t hit any great heights in gift department yet. Sometimes he has dropped the ball completely (nothing organised for our first Valentine’s after he promised to book dinner in somewhere etc., no first anniversary card - I had told him not to bother with a present as we were going overseas a few days later, and that all I wanted was a damn card, lol, and a gift voucher for my birthday when we had previously discussed together how gift vouchers lacked thought. Ahh well).
My big thing in gifts is the thought behind them. I like that someone has listened to me and taken ideas from that as to what to get me for a gift or that they know me so well to find something I would love. I love giving gifts, particularly to my partner and finding things that would be special to him or that he has mentioned he wants. I am seriously an awesome gift giver though and have now realised that I cannot apply my standards to everyone else, haha. Wait till he sees what I have planned for his 30th in a few months!
Once he gave me a random gift of a heart rate monitor that he knew I wanted but couldn’t afford. That was awesome and it meant alot as he knows how important fitness stuff is to me and is a big part of what we do together.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:56pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:49pm)
Dog, I think the reason your boyfriend is still your boyfriend is because he completed the above seamlessly.
Take note gentleman, buying expensive gifts is for guys who beg for sex. “Dropping the ball completely” is handing yourself the keys to Candy Land. So give her nothing this Christmas and watch her brim with yule-tide glow.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:32pm)
My boyfriend doesn’t have to beg for anything SSR
But I assure you, on the night of the heart rate monitor incident he went to sleep a happy man.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (08:01am)
well, you had to test it out, Dog, didn’t you!!
I just have to say I hate the whole gift thing unless it something sentimental other wise it is mostly junk people go out and buy and with in six months ends up in land fill anyway. All me and my girlfriend do is go way some were once a year as we find it the best gift we can give each other Instead of wasting money on stuff we don’t really need
Thu 02 Dec 10 (01:58pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (08:21pm)
Hey Jim,
Have you considered a donation on someone’s behalf?
I agree, we all have too much ‘stuff’, and why add to that? I get Oxfam unwrapped for a lot of my friends and relatives (You make a donation, and you get a card that tells you that you have given a cow/goat/farming kit etc to a family in need), and I believe World Vision and other organisations do similar things. Or, sponsorship of an endangered animal or something like that. The recipient usually gets a cool card/picture, and a warm glow knowing they are helping those in need. And the money goes to a worthy cause instead of being spent on useless junk.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (09:30pm)
I find those “donations on someone’s behalf” cards to be terrible quite frankly.
It’s forcing them to give to those less fortunate. It should be a choice for everyone, not forced. If you feel the need to donate, do it yourself, not with the money you would otherwise use to buy a present. I’d much rather someone said to me “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present, but I’ve spent the last year putting all my extra cash into helping the less fortunate” than hand me a “donation card” as a “present”.
It’s practically worse than giving a gift card to someone, as it’s also sign you don’t want to bother thinking what they might like.
God I’ve received some shocking presents from various people. But I am more of a - thanks for thinking of me. Like @MissX
One present I received is particularly naff however the giver said “oh yes - I loved it because it looked like you!”. Now that was very nice because it meant a) they were thinking of me and b) they were moved to purchase something that reminded them of me. All very me me me sure - but it was really the point of it. Every time I look at that present I think of what they said. Everyone else looks at it and secretly thinks - eww - glad I don’t have that.
Worst present - my friend asked to lend $50 to buy me a gift and she would pay me back. It was urgent because she saw it straight away and had no dosh. Got a skirt worth $30 and no change. Never got the other money back. So basically I bought myself a fugly skirt for too much money. Heh heh.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:15pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:07pm)
Are you still friends with her out of interest?? Borrowed money off you for a crap ass present then didn’t pay you back.... that’s pure class.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:49pm)
What type of friend does that?
Perhaps she just wanted to borrow $20?
Thu 02 Dec 10 (04:22pm)
@Gigi
Um - no.
But she did sorta have mental health issues. Guess I should have figured it out.....
o_0
One Christmas my husband bought me Jennifer Lush’s book, Speed Cleaning. ‘Nuf said.
Seriously though, the process of bothering to think about the kind of gift your loved one wants, is in itself a loving act. And wrapping - it makes a huge difference!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:20pm)
My boyfriend hasn’t hit any great heights in gift department yet. Sometimes he has dropped the ball completely (nothing organised for our first Valentine’s after he promised to book dinner in somewhere etc., no first anniversary card - I had told him not to bother with a present as we were going overseas a few days later, and that all I wanted was a damn card, lol, and a gift voucher for my birthday when we had previously discussed together how gift vouchers lacked thought. Ahh well).
My big thing in gifts is the thought behind them. I like that someone has listened to me and taken ideas from that as to what to get me for a gift or that they know me so well to find something I would love. I love giving gifts, particularly to my partner and finding things that would be special to him or that he has mentioned he wants. I am seriously an awesome gift giver though and have now realised that I cannot apply my standards to everyone else, haha. Wait till he sees what I have planned for his 30th in a few months!
Once he gave me a random gift of a heart rate monitor that he knew I wanted but couldn’t afford. That was awesome and it meant alot as he knows how important fitness stuff is to me and is a big part of what we do together.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:25pm)
Guys, if you love her give her nothing. It’s the best way to watch her supposed affection for you dissolve in dashed hopes of some ridiculously expensive piece of jewelry she only wants to status bash her mindless friends. Giving her zilch will earn her respect and guarantee a late night romp with Santa cap attached. After all, scum bags give chicks nothing but STDs and the odd child and Christmas time is booty city in scumtown.
If she’s a mistress, give her something disposable to remind her of her place. Condoms are a good idea. Cotton tips another. I once gave a girl a packet of Hubba Bubba so I wouldn’t have to hear her flapping her gums during the Christmas cartoons. She pretended to get really angry before ravishing me in a manner that appalled the Little Drummer Boy. The guy watched the whole thing.
If she’s your wife, give her a divorce. It will almost certainly be the present she is planning to give you at some point, so beat her to it and reward her this Christmas with an almighty surprise. She may even break off her relationship with your plumber in an effort to win you back, but don’t falter. Just remind yourself that women instigate 70% of divorces, so it really is the gift she wants even if she cries for a week watching Julia Roberts movies swearing you’re her everything. Obviously in November you should have been hiding assets and stockpiling cash in secret bank accounts to make this Christmas her most enjoyable ever.
And don’t forget to find yourself some strange. Desperate single chicks (and which single woman isn’t?) love the idea of finding MR Right (the jerk you pretend to be to prevent her fawning over the bar staff at Ivy) at Christmas and you don’t have to give them anything but a morning after pill and your weekly train ticket.
Peace.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:38pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:04pm)
So what do you want for Christmas Sad?
Thanks for the humour - made me chuckle.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:46pm)
An honest answer would be nice, Gigi.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (08:55pm)
Good afternoon Sad Sad Troll!
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:50am)
Thank you Sam for your wonderful creative input. Please collect 50 IQ points from your local learning institution and come back when you have something unique, humorous, or creative to say. It’s Christmas, and although the gift of hive mind regurgitation is lovely, it’s something I’ve already received from other similarly dense members of this blog.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:53am)
SSR - you just don’t get it. You don’t give gifts to get something in return, you do it because it makes YOU feel good. From what I’ve read, you seem to not feel good about yourself very often, and that’s the Sad Sad Reality of your life. No one is perfect, and unless you are going to accept that fact, you may as well go and live on an island in the middle of nowhere with no outside world contact, I know that would make me happy.
Guys, if you love her give her nothing. It’s the best way to watch her supposed affection for you dissolve in dashed hopes of some ridiculously expensive piece of jewelry she only wants to status bash her mindless friends. Giving her zilch will earn her respect and guarantee a late night romp with Santa cap attached. After all, scum bags give chicks nothing but STDs and the odd child and Christmas time is booty city in scumtown.
If she’s a mistress, give her something disposable to remind her of her place. Condoms are a good idea. Cotton tips another. I once gave a girl a packet of Hubba Bubba so I wouldn’t have to hear her flapping her gums during the Christmas cartoons. She pretended to get really angry before ravishing me in a manner that appalled the Little Drummer Boy. The guy watched the whole thing.
If she’s your wife, give her a divorce. It will almost certainly be the present she is planning to give you at some point, so beat her to it and reward her this Christmas with an almighty surprise. She may even break off her relationship with your plumber in an effort to win you back, but don’t falter. Just remind yourself that women instigate 70% of divorces, so it really is the gift she wants even if she cries for a week watching Julia Roberts movies swearing you’re her everything. Obviously in November you should have been hiding assets and stockpiling cash in secret bank accounts to make this Christmas her most enjoyable ever.
And don’t forget to find yourself some strange. Desperate single chicks (and which single woman isn’t?) love the idea of finding MR Right (the jerk you pretend to be to prevent her fawning over the bar staff at Ivy) at Christmas and you don’t have to give them anything but a morning after pill and your weekly train ticket.
Peace.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:38pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:55pm)
I hope Santa brings you a new blog for Christmas so you can troll that too.
Go have a ecstacy pill and happy the f*ck up grumpy.
Ho Ho Ho
Fri 03 Dec 10 (10:18am)
Wordsworth is that you? William? Oh I knew you couldn’t be dead. In deed such a paragon of English could never die a mortal death. And you’re still introducing new notions to the world? Hurrah. Trolling. This is your new invention. Where others robotically parrot phrases their equally unemployable friends use online, you William have created a new notion and then introduced it with gusto. Hurrah again.
And I see you’ve taken a little trip into pharmacology too. Ecstacy or MDMA can come in pill form and does release serotonin in the brain thus engendering feelings of fulfilment. Of course merely stating these facts with the wide-eyed pride of a preschooler reciting the alphabet is the pathetic entertainment of a crudely-formed intellect, William, but then you have been in your crypt a while.
As for your sign-off. Forgive me, William, to admit I vomited at it’s lack of originality style or conviction. For a second I thought someone had simply handed a laptop to a particularly crude and uncreative chimp and allowed it to whack keys at whimsy, for this idiotic barb could not be the work of such an intellectual great.
Oh, William, will you ever have another original thought again? I’ll pray for you while sipping Brandy in my Library. I hope it rains.
I will never forget one Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend of 3 years apparently forgot (I didn’t consider it a big deal, but I’d gotten him a little something) and so he had to stop at Coles on the way home.
He bypassed, the chocolates, the slightly wilted flowers, the fresh fruit, the meager display of ‘gifty’ type stuff… and brought me home a box of Prawn Crackers. Not even the ready to eat ones. The ones you had to deep fry yourself.
In joke? nope. One of my favourite foods? I’m allergic to shellfish. Reason?… I never actually got one.
It makes me laugh, though, and this story has won me 2 radio competitions on ‘Worst Gift Ever’… meaning that the story far outlasted the boyfriend!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:41pm)
I love giving presents and think I am rather good at it. I will follow my partner round and listen to them when they shop. I will just take mental notes about what they look at, and if they look at it more than once, then I know I am onto something. I do not like to give presents on special occasions, I will send flowers on a Sat morning when I have been with them to see the look in their eyes, Leave things on pillows for when they get home. All you have to do is listen and look and the hints and ideas will be presented to you.
Worst present I ever got was from my ex wife, I had been giving hints that I wanted something for my harley for my 40th, but it all turned to poo when on my birthday I was handed an envelop with a golf membership in it as she thought that is what I wanted to do. I must admit the argument that followed was not a good one as I did specifically say I did not want a gold membership.
I think if you cannot come up with a good gift for your partner, then you do not really know them at all.
My rule of thumb when I buy something, buy something your partner wants, not something YOU want them to want.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:42pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:32pm)
Ah - i love how you do the little spontaneous things like the flowers on a Saturday or presents on the pillow to brighten their day - for a lot of people you just want to be thought of and this clearly shows it.
good point about buying what the other person wants - not what you think they should like. I mean the point is its about the other person’s secret wish list - not your own.
Have any of the ladies in your life returned the favour i wonder?? I’ve often found that i tend to be the romantic thoughtful one and my ex’s have not felt the need to reciprocate too often.
Fri 03 Dec 10 (09:21am)
Gigi, I can honestly say, that no, I have not been thought of in this way. It is strange that some women want you to think about them, be romantic, give them the flowers, the notes, the texts etc, yet do not stop to think about doing it in return. I guess that is why I no longer expect anything from anybody.
After so many years of marriage, gift giving between my wife and I is purely based on essential needs given our tight budget, if we buy at all. At $6 for a card these days, we even usually dispense with that as a waste of money, and simply make our own.
Since the birth of our daughter (now 11), though, Christmas has been about the kids - her and her cousins. We have far more fun buying for our daughter, and seeing her in the leadup to Christmas, the day itself and in the weeks following. Her joy and happiness is simply priceless.
I woke up this morning and she was sitting, watching TV, with her Santa hat on. At 6am in the morning. And it’s only the 2nd of Dec…
The 1st - yesterday - I came home to pile of boxes everywhere around the lounge. She’d put up the Christmas Tree herself and fully decorated it.
That’s what Christmas is about.
Though I did give her instructions that Dad has to put the lights on it first, and next year could she wait for me to do that before smothering it in trinkets and tinsel !
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:45pm)
I am a fantastic gift-giver. I always put a lot of thought into my gifts. As I am not well off, my friends and relatives get two a year - birthday and Xmas only.
I often make my presents as well ie. jewellery, preserves and art/craft items eg. name plaques for the kids doors, baby blankets when they were young, framed animal pictures each with a limerick I composed, hand appliqued teatowels to wrap up my famous tomato sauce (which everyone now asks for as a Christmas present).
This year my 3 nieces/nephew will get something they actually like (clothes/toys etc.) and, as I don’t buy for the parents, a shadow box with 3D cut-outs of their favourite books for their bedroom walls.
I often see things I like and will immediately think who else would appreciate that and so buy two. I also take note of things they mention they would like or when we are out together, things they comment on. I usually write it down when I get home (yes, I do have a gift idea’s list I maintain throughout the year) so they are pleasantly surprised at receiving something they talked about 8 months ago.
I just love making people happy I guess!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:48pm)
I received a washing machine for my 18th birthday of my ex husband, needless to say when we split and he wanted to keep it, i made sure to remind him that it was MY birthday present and i was taking it with....what a scab!
Thu 02 Dec 10 (02:50pm)
Oh, forgot - worst presents EVER given were from a recent ex, if he remembered or could be bothered that is.
One birthday I got a skirt - for the pool’s creepy crawly! One anniversary I got a water filter from Bunnings about a week later (after I had bought him tickets to see Adam Hills - a comedian he loved). Another time I got a vaccumn cleaner - yay! Xmas I got an electric carving knife - wtf?
So it usually was very impersonal stuff for the house. Often when I got him something groovy and he had forgotten, he would tell me off for not reminding him it was our anniversary, my birthday, valentine’s day etc. I’m not his mother…
I also had to tell him when it was his mother’s/sister’s birthdays; I usually bought them a present and card as he would just get Bunnings or Myers vouchers - I knew them better than he did.
Once he did buy his niece an 18th birthday present - she’s a total tomboy, never owned a dress, wore caps and sneakers all the time and worked as a metal fabricator. So what did he get? A voucher to Diva -a really girly jewellery store.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:05pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (04:38pm)
Hah, he sounds hopeless. Remind me why women stay with these guys…
I once went to visit an ex to break things off with her, it was just before my birthday and as I got out of the car and before I’d even had a chance to say anything, she rushed up and threw all these presents in my arms, unwrapping them for me as she went on.
I waited until she had finished before delivering her the bad news (for her!), she bawled but told me to keep the presents, but what was I to do? I tried to give them back and she wouldn’t have a bar of it.
To this day I still have a couple of the things she gave me.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:13pm)
Thu 02 Dec 10 (03:47pm)
Aw - that is just so sad :( Bad timing for sure - and she obviously didnt
realise the relationship was on it’s last legs.
On the upside right at the worst of moments she didn’t have an issue with you keeping the presents - at least that shows she was generous in spirit rather than immediately ask for them back.
Thu 02 Dec 10 (04:42pm)
Sounds like she might have seen it coming and was hoping to change your mind…