When I first saw this I wondered if the Super Mario Bros. had magically come to life and started making jewelry. Even if it is a little out of focus it’s still better than anything featured in those horrible Kay Jewelers commercials.

Source: mocoloco via inewidea

Now you can repent in style! (Sort of, those heels are so 1997!)

Back me up on this (see what I did there?). I’m a firm believer that bones are accessories we wear on our insides so this cuff is structured to look like somebody’s spine is breaking way too many rules for my taste.

Source: NotJustALabel ($1,794)

Yeah you, Robot! Your skin is all saggy!

This is the kind of thing I would see someone wearing and be totally thrown off that I would compliment it. Then I would spend the rest of the day wondering why I lied.

Source: Sniffle Co.

Hey these would be great in the winter when it’s… wait, no. Freezing toes. Well then they’re sandals so in the summer… hmm, so much coverage. What on earth are these shoes about?

I want to meet the person who thinks, “You know what I should wear to celebrate Thanksgiving? A cheap replica of the bird that’s going to taste delicious and subsequently make me nap.” Because that’s the only type of person I see wearing this.

Source: BuyCostumes ($16.99)