Meet the woman whose job it is to break the news that a loved-one has died
- From: The Advertiser
- November 06, 2010
ASHA Woods once told her dad she wanted to be just like him - her father, her hero. But on February 19, Alan Woods had to listen as doctors told him his beautiful daughter had slipped away.
Asha, 20, a girl with a huge smile and a love for life, died after she was hit head-on by a French tourist driving on the wrong side of the road.
It happened close enough to Mr Woods' work that he heard the sirens of the emergency vehicles as they rushed to save her.
But he had no idea it was his daughter they were trying to free from the wreckage of her mangled car. "The devastation on the faces of the police when they told me how injured she was and how it would be a miracle if she survived is something I'll never forget," he said.
"I could see the pain on their faces."
Senior Constable Kylee Simpson, the Major Crash Investigation Section's only victim contact officer, sat quietly as the young woman's family was given the terrible news. Then she stood up and walked over to introduce herself.
Having possibly one of the most difficult jobs in SA Police, Sen Const Simpson acts as a crutch for the families of road crash victims to lean on as they cope with the loss of a loved one.
It is her job to knock on the door and break the news to families that their loved one will not be coming home.
She will go with them to the morgue and stand beside them as they formally identify the body.
But mostly, Sen Const Simpson will just ring to ask if they are doing OK.
"When I left the hospital, she rang me before I even got out of Adelaide to make sure I was getting home OK," Mr Woods said.
"She didn't have to. It wasn't part of her job. It was just her own personal touch."
Sen Const Simpson and Mr Woods kept in touch as the court case began and soon he was tasked with the job of writing his most personal thoughts in the form of a victim impact statement.
So when the time came, they sat down together to write it out.
But when his day in court arrived, Mr Woods realised he would not be able to read aloud the words he had written in tribute to his daughter.
Instead, he asked Sen Const Simpson if she would. "It was just too much for me," Mr Woods said.
"It was a bloody terrible day for all of us."
It is a day the Major Crash officer will never forget.
"How do you write about what you feel when you've lost someone?" she said.
"It was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done.
"The accused was crying - he didn't mean to do what he did and he was very remorseful." And he wasn't the only one in tears.
From the stand, Sen Const Simpson said she could see the defence solicitor and the public prosecutor crying.
Members of the media were wiping their eyes. "Then my eyes started to glaze over with tears and I had to stop and take a deep breath a few times and tell myself to get it together," she said.
"I remember saying to myself, don't disappoint. I didn't want to cry - I wanted to be able to do that for the family."
Asha was the 27th person to die on South Australian roads in 2010.
With that toll now climbing above 100, Mr Woods knows better than most what each and every number means.
"I was actually pretty affected the other night," he said.
"I noticed a girl was killed in the Hills - but then I think she's not just a girl. She had a name, she was someone's daughter too."
Mr Woods paid tribute to Sen Const Simpson.
"I can't thank Kylee enough for the way she's made us feel comfortable on the journey we've been on with losing a child," he said.
"She deserves a medal for what she does."
For Sen Const Simpson, it has been an emotional first year in the role.
"There have been quadruple fatal crashes, triples, doubles, crashes where people have lost their whole family," she said.
"Sometimes it can be frustrating when there's alcohol and that kind of thing involved because the person who has made the mistake and has done the wrong thing doesn't see what I see.
"Every time I go and knock on a door, I swear they can see my heart pounding through my shirt.
"You can't rehearse what you're going to say. You can't control what will happen.
"It's hard to explain pure grief - but that's what we see."
At times people are so affected by grief that they are unable to function at all.
"Some get into a robotic state and start organising things," she said.
"And then you get some where I leave their house and think, how are they going to function? How are they going to remember to eat, shower, all those things? And I think, can I leave them here?"
In cases involving children, Sen Const Simpson hands out Trauma Teddies.
In her office she keeps a card sent from a five-year-old girl thanking her for her teddy, which arrived in the mail on the day of her mother's funeral.
The little girl took the bear with her to say her final goodbye and wrote that she would forever have it to remind her of her mum.
"You don't realise a teddy bear could mean that much but that's probably where I underestimate my job a little bit," Sen Const Simpson said.
She said in another case, she sent a bear to a little boy who had lost his sister.
"When I rang the parents, they said the boy wanted to give the teddy to his sister and bury her with it," Sen Const Simpson said.
She immediately sent out a matching teddy bear so both siblings could have one.
"So he had a teddy bear and his sister has one in heaven," she said.
Sen Const Simpson said while most people paid little attention to the ever-climbing road toll, for her every number was another phone call, another door knock and another family to comfort.
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