RivkA Matitya’s long battle with cancer ended this morning. For funeral and shiva details as they become available, see Coffee and Chemo.
Haredi educators are noticing that the age of marriage is rising. According to an article in the Hebrew edition of Mishpacha, only 10% of students in a particular seminary got engaged last year instead of the normal 50%.
According to the shadchanim (matchmakers) quoted, only 5-10% of girls’ parents can afford to buy an apartment for the young couple in a low-cost haredi project. But the parents of the “good” bachurim (eligible men), are still hopeful, so they wait, while the yeshiva dormitories fill up.
These kinds of articles always seem to pit parents of sons against parents of daughters. At least 90% of haredi parents, presumably, have children of both genders. Yet parents demand large sums for sons, even though the system bites back when it comes time to marry off a daughter. Maybe they think that the price of apartments will drop after the wedding.
In the meantime, apartment prices are rising rapidly. According to the article, even those parents who diligently saved are finding they don’t have nearly enough. Families are larger and sources that helped previous generations, like Holocaust reparations from Germany and inheritances, have dried up.
A shadchan lists the “going rate” in various haredi communities:
There is no discussion of the Lithuanian community outside of Jerusalem.
One shadchan got a call from the parents of a 25-year-old woman, looking for a man with a health issue or a “small defect.” She’s a fine girl, but the parents can’t pay so they have lowered their sights. One of the shadchanim claimed parents who had a hard time getting the sum they demanded for their son are reducing the rates for the next son in line.
A rabbi in Modiin Ilit said that he doesn’t know of any family that married off a daughter without getting charitable funds. And everyone agrees that it’s unreasonable to leave yeshiva to spend months in the US begging for funds to marry off a daughter.
Many thanks to Rafi of Life in Israel, who scanned the original article for me. Bluke at The Jewish Worker first posted about it.
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A blogger sent me this photo of Jacqueline Nicholls’ art, saying it was too “intense” for her site. The piece looks tame, but contains several layers of meaning.
The artist explains:
It comes from my years experiencing the monthly niddah rituals, checking and preparing to go to the mikveh, while also experiencing fertility problems. The monthly cycle being one of disappointment (sometimes despair), a private grief, and then as it approaches the time of immersion, a week of quietly building hope. Maybe this month it will work, maybe this month I will get pregnant, maybe this month, maybe…. The different ways of writing the text ‘maybe this month’ relate to different emotional states that the monthly hope ‘maybe…’ is whispered. It is embroidered in white on 15 white niddah examination cloths, but sewn together in red.
You can see more of Nicholls’ work on her website, where she “explores traditional Jewish ideas in untraditional ways.”
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The Kosher by Design series of cookbooks, by Suzie Fishbein, specializes in what some food bloggers jokingly call “food porn.” Readers of the new Kosher by Design Teens and Twenty-Somethings: Cooking for the Next Generation, won’t be disappointed. This beautifully designed KBD for young people contains gorgeous, mouth-watering photographs with each recipe, just like the previous books in the series.
Kosher by Design Teens and 20-Somethings offers easy recipes, while making no assumptions about prior cooking knowledge. You could safely pass this book on to a teen or a newlywed couple. Don’t expect any panicked phone calls, either, since Fishbein carefully explains how to tell when fish or chicken is fully cooked. To quote Suzie: “If you can read, you can cook.”
My favorite chapter is Soups and Salads. I especially liked Tomato Egg-Drop Soup (56), Chicken-Noodle Soup (58), Pizza Soup (62)—a tomato-basked soup heated in a crock and topped with toasted French bread and cheese, and Orange Butternut Squash Soup (56). Not one calls for soup powder or canned broth. The gluten-free Chicken Tabbouleh Salad (78), based on buckwheat (kasha) looks excellent as does the Mango Brown Rice Salad (72). The No-Mayo Potato Salad (86), similar to one I often make at home, is dressed with vinegar, mustard and olive oil.
Fishbein introduces each recipe with cooking tips, variations, or an anecdote. I read about how to cut mangoes and that Israeli pickles are (surprising to me) a well-known treat at American sleep-away camps. She combines the pickles, along with canned chickpeas and the usual cucumber, land tomatoes, to make “Modern Israeli Salad.” (p. 68). I also learned (after searching the internet) that the raw corn in Tex Mex Salad (80) is edible.
Readers of my Cooking Manager site know I avoid using processed ingredients. Most ingredients in Teens and Twenty-Somethings are natural and readily available. I still found a fair number of ingredients I would skip even if I could find them in Israel at a reasonable price, including: Powdered lemonade mix (Amalfi Chicken, 102, with a warning not to use the diet version), Panko breadcrumbs (had to ask what they were), Tater Tots (a school-lunch staple from my public high school days—amazing they are still around) and French’s Fried Onions (for Ellie’s Onion-Crusted Chicken, 100). And I wonder whether a kosher version of store-bought gnocchi for the Creamy Gnocci Pesto Salad (70) even exists outside of the New York area.
The author exhibits cognitive dissonance when it comes to nutrition. For instance, I liked New Tuna-Noodle Casserole (154) because it calls for homemade white sauce instead of canned soup. Fishbein recommends yolk-free noodles to lower the cholesterol count. But how much cholesterol is there in each serving of a casserole made from whole-egg noodles? It seems pointless to buy a special item to cut cholesterol in a recipe calling for 3 tablespoons of butter and 8 ounces of cheddar cheese.
My least favorite recipe involves breading 4 chicken breasts with two cups each of Captain Crunch cereal and pretzels, then frying in two inches of oil to make an imitation of a recipe served in a Teaneck restaurant (Homemade Chickies, 118). For the purposes of this review I leafed through the desserts, which are impressive to look at but rich, rich rich. If you include the frosting, 24 Red Velvet Cupcakes (206) contains 2 cups butter, 4 cups sugar, and a 1-ounce (!) bottle of red food-coloring. To balance things out, Fishbein calls for low-fat milk and reduced-fat sour cream.
As you would expect in a cookbook for beginners, Fishbein includes basic information on running a kitchen including preparation, cleanup, shopping and menu planning, equipment suggestions, and safe food habits. She gives tips for adding vegetables to your diet, and explains the labels on each recipe: Vegetarian, Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, and Nut-Free.
Suggestions for future editions would include more recipes based on legumes instead of meat, and instructions for making basics at home. New and experienced cooks often take shortcuts, but a simple marinara sauce recipe is a low-cost, healthier alternative to the bought sauce that Fishbein recommends. Chicken or vegetable broth, dried beans, and grains are also items that every cook should know how to make at home. But they probably don’t photograph as well.
If you own other cookbooks in the series, you’ll appreciate this free index of 900 Kosher by Design Recipes so you can easily locate the one you want.
Despite my reservations about processed ingredients, many of which could be omitted or substituted, I recommend Kosher by Design Teens and 20-Somethings as a good first cookbook for beginners. The attractive pictures and simple instructions will make the teens and 20-somethings you know want to run into the kitchen and start cooking.
Recipe for scones, pictured above.
Information from Artscroll on ordering, discounts, reviews and more giveaways:
Preorder your copy today at ArtScroll.com – enter the coupon code KBDBLOG at checkout to save 10% and receive free shipping in the continental U.S. Join us online to find more reviews and giveaway contests! Kosher by Design Teens & 20-Somethings: cooking for the next generation is aimed at the young and digital-savvy fast-food generation and those who cook for them. Susie Fishbein is an everyday cook who loves to share her passion for cooking and entertaining with friends and family. Her enthusiasm for food and entertaining led to the creation of her best-selling cookbook, Kosher by Design, published in 2003 by ArtScroll Shaar Press. For more recipes and updates, visit 
our blog or connect with us on Facebook and Twitter.
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RivkA, who blogs over at Coffee and Chemo, has been in the hospital for most of the week. Her situation is poor. Jameel has put up new messages from her and her family about ways to contact them and help.
As RivkA writes at the end of every post:
On Sunday, October 24 I’ll be reviewing Susie Fishbein’s new book, Kosher by Design: Teens and and 20-Somethings and giving away a free copy to one lucky reader. Instructions for entering giveaway (below). Update: The review can be found here, and the scone recipe here.
Susie Fishbein’s cookbooks, published by Artscroll, are famous for their stunning food presentation, beautiful photography, and creative party ideas. In her new book, she chooses simple recipes to appeal to teens and twenty-somethings—whether they are doing the cooking or just eating. You’ll be glad to know that the recipes are lighter and healthier than in her earlier books. I’ll be posting a full review on Sunday, October 24. In the meantime, here’s how you can enter the contest. Please read carefully.
Readers can earn up to two chances to win a copy of Kosher by Design for Teens and Twenty-Somethings. The contest is open to residents of all countries.
Important: You must leave a comment on this post telling me how you earned your entry or entries.
There are four ways of entering, with a maximum of two entries per reader. Deadline: October 31, 2010.
Don’t forget to leave a comment to tell me how you qualified, and double-check your email address in the comment form. Good luck! I’ll pick a random winner on Wednesday, November 3.
Update: Several other sites are also running contests, and each has different rules. For the contest here, an RSS subscription doesn’t count. But at In the Pink, you can enter by leaving a comment. Good luck!
The alon Olam Katan has a regular feature called shu”t cellulari, or responsa via SMS. Readers can text halachic questions and get answers fairly quickly, from either Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu or Rabbi Shlomo Aviner.
My daughter alerted me to one of last week’s questions:
Is there a problem of tumah (impurity or uncleanness) to nurse in a public bathroom, when there is no other place, or is it better to nurse where there are passersby and cover up? Rabbi Eliyahu: [...] Continue Reading…
In A New Reason to Make Aliyah: Free Egg Freezing, Allison Kaplan Sommer reports on a new development in Israeli health insurance:
The state will now cover the freezing of 20 eggs harvested in up to four extractions from young, healthy women, which can be stored, should she decide to have kids at a later age and find herself unable to conceive naturally.
This can take the pressure off of women who hit their mid-30s, who may not have met [...] Continue Reading…
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