Journeying for truth and action

all week during exams I sat at a table filled with literature, postcards, zines. a semi-circle of photos from an exhibit entitled “Palestine Through Our Eyes” faced my back. and directly behind me a projector showed youtube videos and scenic views of The Wall.

multiple jews stopped by and rooted me on. (wow!). Palestinians. questions about if this was a Jewish or pro Palestinian table? why the Jewish literature?

the only yelling match i got in was with this creepo Patriot who wore a hat which read “World War III Zionism”. he thanked me for tabling, and I just had to ask.

we started yelling. he thinks zionism and “Jewish apartheid” controls the world, the banks, all of America. i was like. dude. you are so wrong. did jews occupy this land from the indigenous natives of this grand nation’s empire? FUCK.

it was nerve racking to sit there alone, awaiting a future uproar. sometimes people would sit by for an hour or so between exams.

its over. and thus begins the yearning & questions.

Founder of Islamo-fascist awareness week. leader of anti-reparations movement in regards to Black slavery. calls Palestinians Racist. denounces ALL Muslim Student Associations. insulted women “repressed by hijaabs”. insulted all people of color, who were forced out of the room

……..
Horowitz told The Chronicle that his appearance at UWM “ranks with the worst” he’s ever had. “They made it difficult to continue a sentence to the end.”

However, his critics at the event didn’t just include MSA members. Nomi is a sophomore, studying “the psychological effects of racism,” and is a member of a small organization for students called Jews for Justice.
She entered the room during Horowitz’s speech, and “he said a few things that made me angry,” ____ told The Chronicle in a telephone interview. “He was calling people morons, ignorant, all these names when they were challenging him on his information.”
She also contended that he said all MSA members “are involved in terrorist organizations,” whereas “I know some” of the UWM MSA members and “they are extremely wonderful people.”
She also said that during the question session Horowitz was “calling people anti-Semites when they weren’t talking about Judaism.”
So during the question session, Naomi went to the microphone, asked Horowitz if he was a practicing Jew because “I couldn’t believe he could be so racist and use his Jewish identity to perpetuate that.” She also said she walked out of the room before he could answer.

However, what raised the issue of anti-Semitism was not Horowitz’s remarks.
Before his speech, protesters from the MSA stood outside the hall and handed out a flyer to people going to the event. This flyer, of which The Chronicle has a copy, has a text attacking Horowitz as a “right-wing hate-monger, Israeli apologist and Judeofascist” and at one point calls him “David Whorowitz.”
Cartoon of David Horowitz that was part of the flyer handed out by members of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Muslim Student Union on April 30.
Cartoon of David Horowitz that was part of the flyer handed out by members of the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee Muslim Student Union on April 30.
The flyer also sported a cartoon showing a caricature of Horowitz with a big “Jewish” nose standing in a garbage can, wearing a Nazi-like armband with an H where the swastika would be, and looking in a mirror saying, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most fascist of them all?”
……..
Naomi also said she was “not happy with the cartoon of Horowitz,” saying it was clearly stereotyped. However, she said, “I understand where people are coming from” in calling Horowitz a “Judeofascist” in response to his calling others “Islamofascists.”
“I don’t usually use the word ‘fascist’ to describe someone,” she said. “Myself, I wouldn’t call him that.”

Elsayed in his e-mail wrote, “The drawing is a caricature of David Horowitz.” In an apparent response to what Horowitz wrote in his article, Elsayed wrote, “In typical demagogic form, Horowitz tries to characterize the very legitimate and very justifiable attack on him as an attack on all Jews! How ludicrous.”
The Chronicle also received an e-mail from Erik Sperling, another member of Jews for Justice, who called Elsayed “my good friend.”
Sperling wrote that he spoke to Elsayed about the cartoon, and Elsayed “strongly insisted that it was in no way meant to be anti-Semitic, and [he] apologized profusely for any confusion.”
Sperling also wrote that he has become friends with many MSA members and “I have never heard any remotely anti-Semitic comment made nor felt any discrimination of any sort” from them.

“get this disgusting thing out of my house”, referring to the Jews Remember the Nakba haggadah supplement. she said, “you are living in black and white, i am living in grey.

what an argument! me? seeing this as black and white? so what then is Passover about. ONLY remembering some distant slavery that a scroll claimed happened to an ancient people? what about Current slavery? and oppression. and bondage.

then i told her she is living in blissful ignorance if she believes the Nakba didnt happen. she doesnt even know anything about the Nakba! “Jews died too!”

well. I am holding events to raise awareness about the Nakba you deny! “Do you really want to do that to your family?”

Moussa, one of the main organizers for Palestine Solidarity Project and a dear friend, was snatched by Shabak (Israeli FBI) at 4am on April 11 for being suspected of “terrorist activities”. Because they have no evidence against him, they have placed him in Administrative Detention, which surpasses legality. He has no access to a fair trial, and his “case” is reopened every 90 days– to which they can decide to put off for another 90 days leaving him incarcerated for an indefinite amount of time.

quoted from the website: “With no evidence against him and a long history of nonviolent activism Mousa’s family should be celebrating his impending release. However, the Israeli military court system that presides over Palestinians in the Occupied Territories does not work that way and the prosecution has said they are considering putting Mousa in Administrative Detention, in which he has no right to trial. For Palestinians, when there is no evidence for a trial, they are simply jailed without one.” www.palestinesolidarityproject.org

I have a few earlier entries in this blog specifically about how amazing Moussa is. Last time they incarcerated him, he was stuck for 3 months, and was subjugated with interrogations and torture to get only the words they wanted to hear out. I am deeply pained by this news.

Please go to the website and donate to legal funds. or hold film showings in your community during Israeli Independance/ Nakba remembrance and raise some cash.

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http://notimetocelebrate.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/notimetocelebrate_haggadah_supplement.pdf

This is a Haggadah supplement specific to this year. print & spread widely.

also I created the BEST recipe for vegan wheat free matzo balls which are squshy and the perfect consistency- even without eggs. hint: flax is a miracle. perfect for our Radical Seder in chicago.

One concept I have thought heavily about is the Victim mentality the modern western culture has taken on in this melting pot of assimilation. I am careful to not kvetch too heavily about being a victim effected by my father’s cancer. Just as I try to call out others who are stuck in being victims and denying white supremacy. Actually I just read something in my pshych effects of racism class written by a person of color who is anti affirmative action because it keeps P.O.C stuck as the victim and plays on white guilt and “helplessness”. It was an interesting point which actually reminded me of how Israel and many mainstream Jews are obsessed with victimhood. I find this completely demoralizing and unreal that the (Jewish) holocaust is used to portray Zionism positively in the mainstream. So many stories of rebellion are untold to keep people stuck playing the victim.

Our free will must help us rise out of this unhealthy pattern of constantly being victims to history past and present. And by us, I mean everyone. this calls for some heavy UNLEARNING.

Grampa and I finished our cap today. Its difficult to work with him, especially because I didnt go to tailoring school like he did (in Vienna, following the war) so I cant sew exactly straight. or do anything straight for that matter.

so i watched him perfectionalize the entire time instead of doing it myself. It was a little frustrating. but hopefully ill gain enough experience to create my own crooked cap and fuck up all i want.

Here is a sign of the changin times: Milwaukee used to be filled with fabric stores. Now theres only walmart. We had to go to goodwill and buy a $4.99 wool suit to destroy in order to create something new. what a waste of resources! He looked pained as he ripped the seams of “such a nice suit”. Back in Vienna he constructed suits by hand, and here he was ripping one apart. dang.

some PTS came out today from their home. it was so intense.

We went to the co-op which isnt really a co-op, and had some dinner. as I was scoping out the cooked food (even though i only eat raw) the person behind the glass said “can I help you ma’am?” I was SO shocked. me? ma’am?! i do not look anything ma’amish, sir. “uhhhh no.” and i walked away dizzy. why did it anger me so heavily?

So i told my lil sister. who started FUMING. she went right up to the counter and said loudly “I cant believe he called you ma’am. who does that anymore? ” the other workers raised their eyebrows along with me. whenever he passed she made crazy remarks about it. here, is my sister. who doesnt really get the whole queer thing. and shes sizzlin’ up like cayenne.

later i called her lady and she was all “yo. thats the same as ma’am, ma’am! dont call me that.”

she’s really quite rad.

tomorrow my parents come back just in time for shabbes. I am terrified and thankful to see them. Saturday I head to Chicago for the Bash Back! (radical queer/trans –> DNC and RNC) convergence.

ache.

I cant stand it here.

I keep longing for the winter plan with our CHUTZPAH crew, and then a dear open ticket will = bringing tours into Palestine. Showing my face in demos lead by PSP. Beit Ummar. humanity. stress and chaos. the overwhelming constant identity crisis of privilege. action. hebrew. arabic.

I cant concentrate at this university even though I only take 2 classes. Phych Effects of Racism is amazing and has been helping out with leading past & future white ally groups. the FreeSchool is growing.

but. my heart is constantly tugged. I dont belong here in the US. And i miss my israeli refusnik friends constantly. (Many will be heading to jail this year for refusing army service. )

the farming projects over there are intensive and amazing.

then again. I was born here. the privilege of american citizenship should be utilized to its full capacity. Am i just another dissenting body escaping and taking the easy way out of this empire? The empire extends there! But its based right here. Its roots have mangled and poisoned the Indigenous peoples of this land as well, and I have the access to loosen those roots a little from its choking grasp.

But actions here, even anarchist, are too civil. How are people not outraged? riots? a 5-year-old war? individualism. massive movements… apathy. and academia replacing rebellion with washed out theories. I mean, this could be spoken of about Israeli culture also. but the assimilation here is far worse, along with obedience.

I must quit procrastinating and read about the Harlem Ren.

Update. He made it alive. tension is loosened. even though 3 organs are missing.

I told Ima what happened with the deer. Her friend Terry interpreted it like so: deer represent Shekhina. 7 represents the shakras, kabbalah, and all that jazz.

then this orthodox rabbi told her that 7 deer represent the people of israel. I straight up gawked in the phone and said “meshugana. it had absolutely nothing to do with Israel. remember I saw it?” she tsked and said, “by ‘people of israel’ he probably meant jews in general.” eh, im no fan.

anyways. score to omens.

tomorrow grandpa will teach me his tailoring D.I.Y skillz to make railroad-esque caps. plus tell me more stories and teach me yiddish. unfortunately, his mind flashes to Auschwitz almost every time we speak now…mainly because of the alzheimer’s creeping in. I dont mind except for when he steps out of his mind, looks around, and stops talking. so far thats only happened once.

back to dear ol’ papa: cancer is a product of civilization. civilization is the root of colonization. exploitation of the earth and people. so western medicine decides to take functioning organs out? I mean, I see how it makes sense to them and to the situation. even though the tumors had already been scraped away…

I am still cringing from this news. If theres anything I am conservative about , its the altering of one’s body. obvi, I am in no way authoritarian about this + believe in many acceptions. And due to 6 months of attempted self-healing 4 cavities, I must have some white shit latched onto mi bite after they drill the grill. so. i dunno..where this is going…hypocrisies and all. civilization..?

ridiculous entry? I think yes. dang.

my Abba(pa) is currently undergoing a day long surgery to remove the tumors in his stomach: cancer. Ima (ma) is in Baltimore rooting him along. I sit here.

Yesterday the grandparents visited two Jewish cemeteries to pray for him. They came here at 7am to pick me up so we could go to the conservative synagogue to say the mishebarakh for him. I, in a faded black lint filled shirt, scruffy shoes, and the nicest brown slacks anyone could ask for–because Grampa made them 2 years ago–was swept in to memories.

Praying out of a text has never been my thing. I watched men delicately wrap leather bands tightly around their arms and place the plastic box accordingly. Ive always thought this was a remarkable beautiful tradition. Grandpa did the same.

a woman actually told me to sit down during the mourners kadish. “not you! oh i hope hes ok.” my ass hit the bench. the embarrassment burned, because i always stand. people die every day here, in Iraq, Palestine, Israel. Why cant i stand for them? what did she know about my life? my mind raced, as the memorized hebrew words read themselves from my mouth. I flipped to the back of this familiar standard sidur and read the holocaust stories that were still ingrained from the unfocused days of forced prayer in that jewish day school. There was a “Prayer for the Israeli Defense Force” glued into the back cover- questionable borders “from Egypt to Lebanon” included. I noticed in the english translation so many transcriptions speaking of physical state, when the text clearly did not intend so.

the rabbi motioned for me to make an aliyah. I read from the hebrew text nervously and was told what steps to take. I had forgotten everything but the prayer’s song. another blush of embarrassment. but what was that sensation sweeping over me? my grasped hand on the torah…its energy enveloping..

a mishebarakh for daveed ben chana. Yasher koakh! hugs. mazel tov to a young bat mitzve.

we drove back through the park, I still in a daze. whoa slow down!

7 female white-tailed deer pranced across the road playfully, directly in front of our car. in this park? at this time? i recounted. yes, there were seven. they ran from the woods into the field. this called for a large warm smile, and then a shiver down my spine.

I cant wait to tell Abba when the chemical-induced sleep wears off. insha’alah. bizrat hashem.

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back when my zaide was a lad growing up in the Jewish ghetto of Milwaukee, Easter sunday was still a day of terror. Yiddish was his first language, and his pops owned a small tire recycling business.

After Sunday mass, christians would enter the Jewish ghetto and beat up jews for killing their Jesus christ. Of course the myth of using Christian blood for matzoh was still rumored among the hypnotized Christians.

Easter Sunday has historically been framed like so: celebrate and avenge the resurrected massiah. In old England, Jews pent all 6 weeks of Lent hiding from stones. Passover & Easter Sunday has been the most brutal time of the year for Diaspora Jews.
In Kishinev, Russia- April 6, 1903 48 Jews were murdered and 500 wounded as homes were burned, heirlooms stolen, people tortured, women raped, babies torn from mother’s wombs and replaced with feathers or cats. scapegoats, terror, chaos, religious propaganda lead by the priests themselves.

600 pogroms took place between 1903-1906.  the Tzar’s secret police printed calls for these pogroms.

one specific horrendous pogrom in Hungary murdered over 11,000 people at once.

so. today i light a yarzheight (how do you spell?) candle in commemoration.