Today's featured article
Throughout the ages, man has endeavoured to find and capture the elusive happiness and then lock it in a small cage, bottle, or other closed inescapable casing so as to avoid repeating the hassle of said finding and capturing in the future.
As it is technically a state of mind, happiness does not actually lend itself very well to capturing, though that small detail is little deterrent in today's society in which people often have nothing better to do than attempt madness. So they persist, seeking, questing, requisitioning, pursuing, all to no avail. It is an idea, this pursuit of happiness, and it has become so ingrained into the global culture that it has, in fact, gone so far as to figuratively grow tentacles and attempt to clone itself through parthenogenesis. (more...)
Yesterday's featured article
Why, hello, there! I understand you'd like to hear about wrists! Well, you've come to the right place. Entirely the right place. Why, I've got catalogues of wrists, diagrams of wrists, calculations regarding wrists, theories about wrists, even the odd treatise on wrists... they are, you could say, a passion of mine.
And yours...
Sorry, love, sorry. I digress. You want to hear about wrists in general, not yours, not mine, not anyone's in particular, just... wrists. Oh, but wrists are such nice things, glorious things, possibly the most graceful part of the human body. And the feline body, too, have you ever actually examined a cat's wrists? They truly are amazing. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ...that THIS is my other car? (pictured)
- ...that, even though it is stated that the people performing this stunt are professionals, only 1.5% of them have graduated from college?
- ...that attempts to quote the Dread Cthulhu in its own dialect have led to many embarrassing misspellings, sometimes as extreme so as to turn, "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming" into a phrase translatable as, "In a sushi restaurant in R'lyeh topless Cthulhu waits tables"?
- ...that the industry of bullshit is the highest-selling industry in America?
- ...that journeys with GPS always end badly, if not for you then for the GPS?
- ...that if you find Snakes On A Plane, the best thing to do is to not move?
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In the news
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- Professional Hold'em player Johnny Chan successfully reads Lady Gaga's poker face.
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On this day...
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October 27: National "Peeing Calvin" Bumper Sticker Day
- 1875 - Oscar Wilde decided to avoid his normal routine and go to the barbers before attending his rountine denouncement
- 1956 - The Great One's first toenail grew in. Widely considered to be particularly unspectacular, this event is overlooked by hoards of Bushists who hold wild street parties, which begin with tea and quiet chatting and end in mass orgies. Oh, hee hee, I said a dirty word on the internet! Is that even allowed?
- 1998 - Mother of Pearl Sunday when several people attempted to create a zombie of Michael Jackson.
- 6000 - John F. Kennedy pees on Calvin.
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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