B3ta newsletter 451, out now - packed to the brim with links, words and haphazard attempts at humour. HOORAY. Get clicky, clicky minions.
Read newsletter 451
published by
rob on 22nd Oct at 12pm
Crappy relationships
"Recently," Broken Arrow tells us, "The missus informed me that her brother was moving with us." What has your partner done that's convinced you the magic's gone? "Breathe" is not an answer.
Read all 153 stories (open)
asked by
Scaryduck on 21st Oct at 12pm
Spending Cuts
It's cut, cut, cut. The Coalition are saving money everywhere they can by cutting back on everything they can. Where will it end? Use Photoshop to reveal all.
See all 121 images (open)
set by
Fraser on 20th Oct at 8pm
B3ta newsletter 450, out now - you need to read this, it's packed with B3ta people projects this week. And almost 1 joke. HOORAY.
Read newsletter 450
published by
rob on 15th Oct at 1pm
Things to do before you die
Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic tells us that his ambition is to a) drive around New Zealand in a camper van; and b) have MASSIVE sex with the original members of Bananarama. Tell us what's on your wish list, and why.
Read all 359 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 14th Oct at 1pm
Squirrels in History
It's a fact: we love the fluffeh manimals here on b3ta. So this week we're challenging you to chart the impact of squirrels throughout history.
See all 238 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 13th Oct at 8pm
B3ta issue 449 - out now! This week featuring a man seeing how long he can live by only eating his own shit, a donkey in a jetpack and someone sees if they can reach orgasm by sticking a phone on their cock and getting the internet to text them. Sorry. All this is lies, but fuck it, it's filled the space.
Read newsletter 449
published by
rob on 8th Oct at 3pm
Vandalism
I got a load of chalk, felt-tip markers and paint from friends one Christmas in a thinly-veiled attempt to get me involved with their plan to vandalise the toilets at the local park. My downfall: Signing my name. Tell us your stories of anti-social behaviour.
Thanks to Bamboo Steamer for the suggestion
Read all 475 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 7th Oct at 12pm
B-Movie Monsters!
Make a B movie monster: mash it, 'shop it, photograph it, animate it, cut out of paper and scan it, or make a B movie monster costume and wear it. Then enter it in the challenge. Raarrgh!
See all 222 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 6th Oct at 6pm
B3ta newsletter 448, out now - subbed by my lovely wife Lucy who you may remember for the "Xylophone buggery" line in Buffy's Swearing Keyboard.
Read newsletter 448
published by
rob on 1st Oct at 4pm
Waste of money
I once paid a small fortune to a solicitor in a legal case. She got lost on the way to court, turned up late with the wrong papers and started an argument with the judge, who told her to "shut up, for the love of God". A stunning investment.
Thanks to golddust for the suggestion
Read all 260 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 30th Sep at 12pm
Ed Miliband
Britain has a new leader of the opposition: Ed Miliband. Introduce him to the world of serious politics with a big b3tan welcome, and get all photoshoppy on his appearance.
See all 253 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 30th Sep at 11am
B3ta newsletter 447 - in the shops now, and still at the bargain price of 99p. Get it before it sells out.
Read newsletter 447
published by
rob on 24th Sep at 3pm
What was I thinking?
CactusZack tells us: "I stopped dating a girl AFTER she got breast implants. For what reason I do not know, and I still kick myself for this." Tell us about inexplicable decisions that still haunt you.
Read all 278 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 23rd Sep at 11am
Parallel Universe
Imagine a universe where everything is totally reversed. Then make a picture or animation of it.
See all 365 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 22nd Sep at 7pm
B3ta newsletter 446 - we've been reading Sylvester's (as in You Make Me Feel Mighty Real) biography and one of his favourite cooking treats in the early 70s was cooking up cum-bread. That's bread with cum in it. Anyway, in other news here's this weeks newsletter. HOORAY.
Read newsletter 446
published by
rob on 17th Sep at 2pm
Retro Sci-Fi: The Sequel
Back in September 2008, a classic B3ta compo emerged: make sci-fi retro. In true science-fiction style, it's high time for a sequel, so open up photoshop, and show us more (new) examples of the fantastical future, yesterday.
See all 371 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 16th Sep at 8pm
Drugs
Tell us your pharmaceutically-influenced anecdotes, legal or otherwise. We promise not to dob you in to The Man.
Thanks to sanityclause for the suggestion
Read all 359 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 16th Sep at 1pm
B3ta newsletter 445, out now - this week featuring a small photo of a pig wearing wellington boots, a flash game about fisting dinosaurs and a recipe for beef salad. All lies of course but my mind has gone blank.
Read newsletter 445
published by
rob on 10th Sep at 11am
Easiest Job Ever
Dazbrilliantwhites says he spent five years working at an airport where he spent his days "racing down multi-storey car parks in wheelchairs and then using the lift to go back to the top". Tell us about your best and easiest jobs. Students: Make something up.
Read all 311 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 9th Sep at 12pm
Re-marketing Classic Albums
This week, b3ta is going to rescue the music industry: what we want you to do is take classic albums and re-design the artwork for an entirely different market. Sell punk albums to classical fans and thrash metal to lovers of happy house, and so on. Hey, presto, new business model.
See all 388 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 9th Sep at 8am
Your Favourite Toys from Childhood - hey B3tans, can you give me a hand? We're doing another in the I Spot series and we need you to suggest your favourite toys for inclusion. You've suggested the best toys, now please
vote for the best toys.
posted by
rob on 6th Sep at 9am
B3ta Newsletter 444, out now - word up cyberfruits the internet newsletter of your web is online and extremely net. Full of sick links as the 5 year old kids say.
Read newsletter 444
published by
rob on 3rd Sep at 12pm
We have new icons! 
,
,
and
. Three drawn by WiL and one by Tangy. If you'd like one then
please donate to the server costs.
posted by
rob on 2nd Sep at 1pm
Complaining
I like writing letters of complaint to companies containing the words "premier league muppetry", if only to give the poor office workers a good laugh on an otherwise dull day. Have you ever complained? Did it work?
Read all 353 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 2nd Sep at 1pm
Limericks
Make up a limerick or short poem, then illustrate your work using the medium of picture or animation.
See all 150 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 1st Sep at 10pm
B3ta newsletter 443, out now - my dedication to you dear B3tans is such that I'm writing this newsletter from a cafe in Cromer whilst on my hols, and looking at all your links in public has made me look like a pervert.
Read newsletter 443
published by
rob on 27th Aug at 10am
The B3TA Confessional
With the Pope about to visit the UK, what better time to unburden yourself of anything that's weighing on your mind by posting it on the internet? Pay particular attention to the Seven Deadly Sins of lust, greed, envy, pride, posting puns on the QOTW board and the other ones. Top story gets to kneel before His Holiness's noodly appendage, or something
Read all 283 stories (closed)
asked by
Scaryduck on 26th Aug at 12pm
Making Things Worse
Find a normal photo of normal people doing normal things, then add in the worst thing that could possibly happen, introducing unexpected and unlikely danger to the situation.
See all 254 images (closed)
set by
Fraser on 25th Aug at 7pm
