28 December 2009
MY ASTONISHING ADVENTURES have led me to meet more than my fair share of reprehensible human beings; from filthy beggars rolling about in their own effluence, to dead-eyed murderers with souls as black as night and hearts made out of ice. But none of them – NONE! – have filled me with as much revulsion, disgust and sheer HATRED as one Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
EGAD! Even writing his name makes me want to vomit profusely ‘pon the page, and jab this quill into my eyeballs, such is my intense dislike for this blasted cove. Ne’er before has such a smug being strode so smugly ‘pon the earth, drawing smug breath through his smug mouth into his doubtlessly smug lungs. Heavens, I detest him so.
And how people seem to fall at his feet, heralding him as some sort of crime-solving genius! Genius? Geni-ARSE, more like. He simply ponces about the place, speaking a tremendous amount of cock, before stumbling across the solution quite by accident, whereupon he declares the whole affair as being ‘elementary’ and then flounces off to puff upon his pipe or have a quick fiddle. PAH! Has HE ever had to contend with an army of gun-toting prostitutes? Has he ever found himself at the mercy of a sex-mad beast with a todger the size of a man? Has he ever had to fend off a blood-thirsty boot-black intent on sawing one’s feet off? NO. More often than not he simply swans into a large house in the country, looks about a bit, and then buggers off again. The man is a CHARLATAN.
I quite like Dr. Watson, however. Now there is a good egg.
» Read on, dear readers…
Posted in Random Insertions | No Remarkable Remarks »
21 December 2009
Lord Likely falls for the Ghost of Christmas Past, while Mr. Scrooge’s very soul still hangs in the balance…
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in A Christmas Carry On | 7 Remarkable Remarks »
12 December 2009
Lord Likely and his trusty man-servant, Botter, visit Mr. Scrooge’s home…what horrors (aside from Scrooge’s terrible décor) lie in wait for our heroes?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in A Christmas Carry On | 7 Remarkable Remarks »
07 December 2009
Lord Likely’s festivities are disturbed by the arrival of a rather miserable cove with a ghost problem…
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in A Christmas Carry On | 8 Remarkable Remarks »
27 November 2009
Lord Likely has designs on the lucrative festive book market…but his method of research for his proposed epic proves to be rather unorthodox.
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Random Insertions | 7 Remarkable Remarks »
22 November 2009
Help Lord Likely tackle that cad cancer, using the might of his magnificent moustache!
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Random Insertions | 13 Remarkable Remarks »
11 November 2009
DOUBLE-LENGTH LIKELY!
His lordship has successfully evaded marriage – but will he be able to escape from the church with his blood still contained within his noble form?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 6 Remarkable Remarks »
05 November 2009
The unthinkable is about to be thunk – Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer and Gentle-Man of Action, is due to be wed! And furthermore, his bride-to-be is an evil, blood-sucking vampiress!
Is this the end of the bachelor lifestyle for his lordship?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 11 Remarkable Remarks »
23 October 2009
Lord Likely cordially invites you all to his…wedding? What the deuce?!?
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
19 October 2009
Wherein Evan Hellsinger gives Likely and Spunkleford some shocking information, and wherein Likely gives Hellsinger a broken nose.
Read on, dear readers...
Posted in Lord Likely and the Bloody Nuisances | 10 Remarkable Remarks »
