Horror

The day has been full of rather bad information. I am at a loss.

A note on ghosts

After yesterday, I have stopped to consider the nature of ghosts. At first, when the spirits were released during my encounter with Flower's Barrow I was aware of their presence but could not see them as such. Even after the spirit were released, the point that I attribute to an increased control of my powers, I could not see the wayward spooks without their knowledge and permission. As the past fifteen months have ticked along I have found that seeing ghosts has been the hardest thing to master. If the spirit wishes to remain unseen then there is very little I can do to unveil their presence. Oh, I can normally detect that there is something supernatural in the vicinity and if I can't actually see it then it is a good bet that a ghost is attempting to remain hidden. If a ghost is powerful, such as the individual attempting to make my life a misery, then his presence can be felt when is in the general vicinity. I hope that I will have more than a little bit of notice if he comes calling.

Finding a ghost is possible only by using a spirit who is willing to help. They are, without fail, able to see each other even if they are attempting to remain hidden. In my experience most are reticent to assist, Dirty Gary is the exception to the rule and will willingly spill the beans, especially if he can cause pain and suffering in the process.

I will force myself to find Dirty Gary and ask about Simon. If he wishes to remain hidden, then I am sure that Gary will be more than happy to put me in touch.

Desperately seeking Simon...again

I spoke to Patrick this morning regarding my encounter with Dirty Gary. He laughed off my concerns about Simon.

'Fuck that mate, he's a bastard liar.' He barked, waving a hand dismissively.

I was not so sure, what had the spectre to gain by lying other than maliciously creating doubt and making me question what I thought I knew. I would need to think before I continued with any further discussions with Gary.

Dirty Gary

I have already explained the nature and background of the ghost 'Dirty Gary' and have described, to a certain extent, how I feel about his vile presence. Today, unfortunately, I found myself seeking his counsel, his advice and worse, his help. I knew he was usually ti be found lurking near a wall of the Southsea Police Station, the wall the formed the edge of the female officers shower room. I loitered in the general vicinity knowing full well that if I was discovered I would be branded a perverse voyeur and summarily arrested, nothing to do with the wall more the small window that opened into the room. I waited for a while, until I could hear the muted conversation of a number of female voices as they finished their shift. I felt a shift in the air between me and the wall, I felt something move behind me, I turned quickly. A face, a distorted greasy face, with a leering grin and blackened teeth grinned back at me. We were almost nose to nose, I could smell Gary's foul corruption.
'Mister Grayson. 'ave I been 'eating some fucking bad shit about you?' He sneered as he twitched and jerked, his insubstantial body moving in short sharp movements as if driven by bursts of electrical current.

'What have you heard Gary?' I asked walking away from the wall, towards the main road.

'I've 'eard that you 'ave the sight and are willing to use it. Sell it to those that'll see us all dead.'

We now found ourselves standing in the midst of a stand of bushes that separated the police station from an area of park land.

'Who told you that Gary?' I snapped, feeling far angrier than I sounded.

His black smile widened into a horrid grin, the black stumps of his teeth made me feel physically sick.

'Someone you know. Someone who knows you.' He responded slowly. I remained silent allowing him hs moment of triumph. 'Someone is...' he paused again, 'Simon.'

It worked, his build up and delivery left me cold and shocked.

'I don't know a Simon.' I barked, far too quickly and with far too much denial. He licked his teeth with almost sexual delight.

'Well he fucking knows you Mister Grayson.'

I need time. Time to think and more importantly time to build more courage to talk to Dirty Gary, again.

What next?

Living with Patrick is a bit like looking into a mirror. Every time I make a choice I get a response, an honest response. The decisions I have made will no doubt have consequences for others, in particular those that I have in mind when I make those decisions. I have thought long and hard about those points I made last night and have come to the conclusion that:

A) I will endeavour to continue with my approach to contact Simon &
B) I will talk to Dirty Gary to find out about the bilious nonsense that the being 'Karl' is spewing

We'll see.

More questions than answers

After deciding that a positive course of action was my only option I lay awake last night running through a number of possible first steps. To mind there are very few available and those that are obvious leave me little room for manoeuvre.

There are a few questions however, primarily how, if true, the protagonists from the new project have learned of my ability to read the auras of the otherworld. Enough said, I need to think on this and the consequences either way.

Simon says, or at least I wish he would

At least my black eyes are beginning to fade and my blocked snot-box is allowing me to breathe a bit better today. Hanging around, or more correctly, moping around and feeling very sorry for myself, for nearly two days has, evidently, began to irritate my host. Patrick finally lost his patience around two this afternoon. He was right though, I have become so reliant on others and in the process exposing my friends and associates to unnecessary harm. Pat actually glowed brightly as his temper increased and he released his pent up frustrations. I soaked it all up, the truth of the situation cutting very deeply. I had just immersed myself in my own petty, selfish feelings of loss and rejection. I had been sheltered and protected  by those who had not expected anything in return. Now that my name had been elevated to one of above nominal importance those that had harboured me could be in danger. 

Flower's Barrow had left its mark on me, a mental and emotional scar that would last for the rest of my life. My Nemesis, or the one I now thought of as my Nemesis, was capable of unknown atrocities and possessed immeasurable powers. I needed to come up with a way forward, a positive course of action that would not involve those that had significantly more to lose than I. I do believe that the entity, Karl, is the evil force that I encountered during the Flower's Barrow days then his positive counterpart may be the place to start. At the same time I will attempt to contact Simon, but I hold very little hope for any success in that department. But, and Pat is very clear on the subject, I need to stop being a 'fucking wimp' and take charge. With that in mind I will visit the servicemen's cemetery tomorrow and literally see what I can see. I have, a few minutes ago, emailed Simon on the only email address I have.

I need to find out about Silver Puppet and I need an ally in the realm of ghosts.