Terrorists, Anarchists and Quakers, Oh My !

The recent revelations that the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania paid a company known as the Institute of Terrorism Research and Response for weekly terror briefings has been alternately comical and worrying. On one side, our esteemed Governor Ed Rendell was full of righteous indignation when he learned that over $ 100,000 in taxpayer money was paid for reports that targeted Pennsylvania citizens- everyone ranging from anarchists to tea party members in an operation that was so wide ranging that nobody can really accuse them of playing favorites. As I’ve said before, I really admire the Gov and his ability to spin absolutely any situation to his advantage- brushing aside the fact that it was his administration that hired the company in the first place, he promised that their contract would be immediately broken (leaving out the fact that it was a one year contract due to expire in October anyway.)

This is a perfect example of one of my earlier posts which highlighted the outsourcing of intelligence by the government to private companies. Why spy on your own citizens when you can pay your fellow citizens to do it for you ? Some information on the company suggests that employees posed in chat rooms to gain information on assorted miscreants in Pennsylvania and passed this information on to law enforcement. It's all so very East Germany circa 1975.

If you have some time on a rainy Saturday afternoon, you can read all of the reports in their glory here. I have to say that I read quite a few of them, and even as a former Army intelligence analyst I’m really not sure exactly what the hell is going on. One of my favorites cites a threat by Al Qaeda to use hot air balloons in IED attacks overseas while noting how balloons are poorly secured around the U.S.- the large lake between the source and the target might be a slight obstacle one would think. Other reports mention such totally bad ass, militant organizations like the Quakers. Another one of my favorites involves potential reaction to the Arizona immigration debate spilling into the Pirates-Diamondbacks game at PNC. This completely breaks the rule of intelligence regarding knowledge of your area- nobody goes to Pirate games anymore.

I don’t know if this company is actually employing a whole cadre of analysts (their website and reports even hint at intercepted communications, translation and "closed" intelligence sources) or a couple of guys hitting Google all day long and selling their product to gullible idiots like the ones running our state. I’m amused by the response by those who take positions contrary to the popular ones in our state and feel like they are being targeted- hey, welcome to my life. They seemed shocked and genuinely hurt that our state government would employ a company to spy on them, pay them and then run the other way when the whole operation was exposed. It was all fun and games until Leviathan actually hit back, wasn't it ?

The only genuine hurt I felt was after I read all the reports and realized I never appeared in them.

Not even once.

Bastards.

First Game- Consol Energy Arena

My first game experience at Consol Energy Arena last evening was an enjoyable one. I met up with my brother at Cafe Fifth Avenue which is about a 9 iron shot away from the new arena and had a couple of beers and some wings. Cafe Fifth, like our other favorite pre-game haunt Souper Bowl, won the jackpot when the new arena was built literally accross the street from them. If you're travelling from out of town, I highly recommend both places but be sure to get there early if you want a seat. I've never seen any problems with fans from other cities except for one Caps fan that hurled all over the Souper Bowl bathroom before a Sunday afternoon game a couple of years back.

Heading up 5th Ave. towards the arena-



Up the escalators. Amazing how much more open these are. The old ones at Mellon Arena felt like you were going up to the 2nd floor in your grandma's house.



Malkin scores the opener, view from our seats in 116. Crosby sat out but it was a good chance to see some of the younger guys. My favorite, Goligoski, was out there and looked very sharp carrying the puck through the neutral zone. Kane played for the Hawks, as did Brian Campbell (another favorite) and big John Scott- they show Scott at 6'8" on the roster, he looked like 7'8" on skates.



One strange new twist to the Pens is the introduction of a group of youngsters that have the job of entertainment and ice crew. I don't know if Mario is trying to scrimp on costs because of the new arena, and is trying to consolidate expenses, but both of these roles used to be clearly defined- one group consisted of young hotties who pranced around the arena, the other was made up of grizzled guys who trundled out onto the ice during breaks to clean up around the crease. Unlike the old ice crews that wore shoes with ice cleats, these kids were wearing skates and skated out onto the ice with shovels and buckets. The big difference was that the old ice crew did their job quickly and efficiently. The new ice crew was an outright cluster fuck.

Here is my pic of the "ice crew" coming off-



I'm going to make a prediction here- this venture, no doubt dreamed up by somebody on the Penguin's marketing staff, is going to get the hook in about 2 more games. First, one of the blond girls (who apparently has a twin that was out there with her- eliciting comments from my brother that will go unpublished) nearly ran into Hawks goalie Alec Richards with her shovel. Richards gamely skated out of her way without smacking her with his stick but had to be wondering what perverted sequel to "Slap Shot" he had skated into. Second, and more ominously, I saw some pretty scolding looks from the linesmen and ref which roughly translated as "get your ass off the ice you are holding things up." Since it was a pre-season game, I can sort of see this sliding by- come regular season, I wouldn't be surprised if its being discussed in Toronto.

I'm in a Maine State of Mind

Rush hour commuting is always painful, especially on Mondays, and particularly awful on rainy Monday mornings. I boarded the train this morning with a dozen of my fellow wage slaves for the slog into Pittsburgh, downtrodden commuters pushing ear buds in, burying their faces in their papers and steeling themselves for another day at work. I was particularly depressed because although I was commuting to work in Pittsburgh, I was deeply in a Maine State of mind.

You see, less than 48 hours earlier I had been sitting on the edge of the pond where our family home is located, enjoying sunsets such as the one I snapped to the left. Days were spent working on the house, and getting it ready for winter, but you really can't call it work when the loons were singing, ducks were quacking and a large golden eagle meandered down the lake looking for something to eat. Throw in a lovesick bull moose calling forlornly for a girlfriend, and it was a relaxing week to say the least. No cell phone reception, no phone in fact, no television or internet- just a quietly burning fire, the gentle lapping of the waves on the shore and the haunting cries of the resident loons. I gamely took a bag of books to read, and ended up reading none of them because I was in bed asleep around 8 pm every night. Up early for breakfast and then endless, but enjoyable, hours of scraping old paint, adding new and getting the plumbing system drained and ready for the brutal Maine winter to come.

I felt sorry for my fellow passengers this morning. At least I have such a place to reset my soul once in awhile. The deep quiet of the north woods makes you realize just how completely we complicate our lives with 24 x 7 cable news, I Phones and all of the other accoutrement's of life today. It is a good thing to unplug and enjoy the simple joys of a sunny day, the incredible colors of autumn (which is a good month ahead in Maine,) a quiet paddle in a canoe and the entertainment provided by the local wildlife. I browsed through the pictures on my phone repeatedly with a smile on my face, completely oblivious that we were nearing my stop. I quietly packed up my gear and headed out into the madness of the city streets.

Memory Row Week- 2012 & The End of the World

I have to admit, I really enjoyed writing this piece and have enjoyed discussing it even more. Some follow-up comments are at the end.

I was listening to some REM yesterday when I began to wonder why it seems like every time I turn on the television, I am bombarded by end of the world programming- The Nostradamus Effect, Life after People, Lost book of Nostradamus....why not just tune in for a whole week of Armageddon programming as advertised by the History Channel ? Just can't get enough ? It is rumored that a television series based on the recent blockbuster 2012 is being considered as a replacement for Lost. I usually enjoy watching the History Channel, Discovery etc. with the kids because they have some pretty good shows that are a bit more educational than Sponge Bob or Ren and Stimpy- okay, maybe not Ren and Stimpy but you get my point.

Recent programming, however, makes me wonder if blocking both porn and the History Channel might not be a bad idea. My older son (age 9) has been pretty upset about the whole end of the world media blitz that we are being subjected to and he has every right to be so. After all, when you are 9, the prospect of being vaporized before you turn the ripe old age of 12 has to be pretty upsetting. It reminds me of another kid that was always worried about the end of the world- me. When I was my son's age, it wasn't television that pushed the whole end of the world agenda, it was a book "The Late Great Planet Earth" by Hal Lindsey that my father read and then rather absentmindedly decided to share with the whole family. Armageddon, nuclear war, revelation all mixed up into a potent cocktail that scared the living hell out of me. (I'm happy to note that my old friend Hal is still making a living peddling his bullshit as evidenced by his rather snazzy website. Despite the fact that he was completely and utterly wrong in his assertion that the world was going tits up in 1981, 2012 has breathed new life into his career from what it looks like.) Seeing my son so upset really pissed me off so I decided it was time to sit down and talk through what he was thinking.

While discussing our imminent demise at the hands of planet X, avenging angels or a return of the Smurfs, I taught my son about Occam's Razor "entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem" which is a lovely little theory to apply to situations like this. What is more likely- a) The Mayans were able to predict the future and identify the exact date the world is going to end. b) The media has found out that pushing Armageddon sells lots of advertising so they are throwing together programming that supports this conclusion. Congratulations, if you chose "b" you are a rational human being. If you chose "a," please get back to work on your bomb shelter and tinfoil helmet.

What is it in the human mind that just loves predicting our fate ? I think eschatology, prophecy and all of that fun stuff is simply hardwired into our brains. I saw an interesting show the other night on PBS (actually Armageddon free, which was nice) where a scientist noted that we are only species that worries about the future. Zebras, for example, have been observed being attacked by a pride of lions, escaping and then nonchalantly munching grass 5 minutes later a short distance from the lions that chased them in the first place. Unlike the zebras, we constantly worry and obsess about the future- money, our jobs, our families, the economy, the weather, our kids etc. Add a pinch of special effects, a cup of Mayan prophecy that I don't think anyone has actually read, a dash of Nostradamus and the human brain starts accelerating into a brick wall.

Time to throw on the brakes. I think that the prospect of the world ending December 21st, 2012 holds some appeal, especially for those that are living miserable, unfulfilled and unhappy lives. A date certain for destruction somewhat alleviates us of the drudgery of getting up for work, dragging ourselves to our jobs, dealing with the boss and waiting for the next paycheck. What's more scary than December 21st, 2012 ? December 22nd, 2012 when you awake with an Armageddon party induced hangover, stare at the cold December sky and realize that making photocopies of your ass at work the day before probably wasn't the best idea.

"A-ha" you say, "you won't be laughing when you die on December 21st, 2012 !" Guess what cupcake, we are all going to die. I think that the avoidance of the subject of death in modern Western civilization has led to a generation of people that think they are going to live forever. I'm going to die, you're going to die, we're all going to die. "Strive diligently, for all things must pass" were the words of the Buddha and they are as relevant now as they were over 2000 years ago. I don't know if I'm going to kick off on December 21st, 2012...or maybe 2011...hey, I've got good genes I should at least reach 2050 unless I'm a total loser. Car wreck, heart attack, cancer, plane crash, who knows ? All I know is that I'm going to die at some point and I'm fine with that fact. Try meditating on that fact sometime. It makes life even better.

As the clock continues to tick down to December 21st, 2012, the media drumbeat goes on. The plethora of doomsday television shows and books continues to roll off the assembly lines, proving once again that nothing sells as well as potential disaster. You can take your pick of 2012 theories- magnetic pole shifts, mysterious planets slamming into earth, asteroids, demons, UFO's and somebody out there will sell you their theory on it and how to survive it.

Here's my theory and I'm not charging you a thing for it- it's bullshit, pure and simple. I'm beginning to think that this mania is tied to our fat and lazy existence here in the U.S. I seriously doubt that hungry people in Africa are agonizing over this or citizens in not so fun places like Iran or North Korea are worried that Planet X is going to slam into us in a couple of years. Our easy consumer driven lifestyle has created a demand for artificial fears- since we no longer have the primal fight/flee response sitting in Starbucks, we now have to replace the lion chasing us with maniacal theories to scare ourselves and remind us of our own mortality.

I would like to propose a bet with any 2012 proponent out there to put their money where their mouth is. I will pay them $ 100 cash money, right now, on the wager that nothing will happen in 2012. In return, if nothing happens, they will pay me $ 200 on January 1st, 2013. If you are completely sold on 2012, this is a no brainer- you get to enjoy $ 100 during your final days on earth, and know that it's a sucker bet for me since neither one of us is going to be around to collect my winnings when it all comes to a crashing end. Terms and conditions apply, subject to approval by my legal staff.

So come on people, are you gonna get your $ 100 and party like its 2011 ?

Memory Row Week- The World That Never Was

I finally picked up a copy of this book and will be reading it on vacation this week. I'll post a review when I get back.

"The World That Never Was- A True Story of Dreamers, Schemers, Anarchists & Street Agents" by Alex Butterworth. 2010. Pantheon Books.

Book review by Stuart Christie, The Guardian.

Sounds like a good read. I'm going to pick up a copy. The book is available on pre-order for June 15th, through Amazon.

An interesting observation from the review-

"The main story, however, is of the penetration of these groups of often naive utopians by the sinister functionaries of the secret state whose job it was to protect the status quo: the policemen and spymasters who lurked in the shadows seeding uncertainty and dissent, cultivating tensions, beguiling with deceits, and luring credulous and impressionable idealists into committing crimes they may never have otherwise conceived."

History has indeed shown that idealists and revolutionaries are often long on ideas and short on proper counter-intelligence techniques !