All dressed up and nowhere to go.
The holy grail
Published Thursday, September 11, 2008 by PPQ.
Sometimes I wonder if 'the perfect' job is nothing but an unreachable dream...
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How to be lost
Published Monday, September 01, 2008 by PPQ.It was a bit careless of me losing her like that. It wasn’t intentional or planned, I’m not sure it was even my fault. But I lost her.
Something in our past had been hanging around us like a slight ghost. She knew what it meant, knew she couldn’t ignore it, but equally didn’t know how to reconcile it. And I didn’t know what to say or do to make her feel better. So I did what I always do, I tried not to rock the boat, left things to fate.
That’s when I started to lose her.
I think about her a lot. A friend like that, well, you do all you can to keep her. A friend like that brings sunshine in their wake, makes you thank your lucky stars, makes you want to be a better person. And I tried finding her again but as hard as I tried I couldn’t quite reach her.
I’m not sure I’ll ever get her back.
Blogger I married him
Published Sunday, August 10, 2008 by PPQ.
That morning I opened my eyes and blinked furiously as I tried to get them to focus. As I stretched out for a morning hug, I realised that Bonobo wasn't actually there and reality came tumbling down happily around me. It was THE day, the big day. The wedding.
Before I had even managed to get my hair curled by the hairdresser, my trusty bridesmaids and I had narrowly averted several miniature catastrophes with seating plans and furniture. Yet I remained calm and in control much to the surprise of friends who thought that I would be running around in a panicked frenzy. I was determined to have a good day, come what may.
In typical PPQ style I was late to the Town Hall (under strict instructions of the registrar of course!), but mostly because troubleshooting the afore mentioned problems had meant that I had very little time to primp and preen myself, and instead found myself jumping in the shower and shaving my legs with only twenty minutes to spare.
As we stepped outside onto the cobble stones to make the thirty second walk from the hotel to the Town Hall, the sky looked grey and ominous, the temperature dropped dramatically and the rain came down. But even that didn't get me down as the chatty, young doorman from the hotel escorted me with a rainbow-coloured golf umbrella. After all, they say it's lucky if it rains on your wedding day.
And so the registrar greeted me with a huge smile. Reminded me of what was to come and then I took Big Brother Senior's arm and we walked down the aisle. The excitement that had been quietly fizzing in the pit of my stomach started to bubble away and I felt almost giddy. And there was Bonobo at the end of the aisle, dressed up to the nines and beaming away at me.
The readings were perfect, funny and sweet and full of love and affection. And the ceremony was lovely.
And then, we were husband and wife. Married. Me and my best friend, my soul mate, my confidante, my protector.
We had a fabulous party afterwards with mouth-watering food, heart-wrenching speeches and music courtesy of Bonobo's band. Being in a room packed with people we love was such an incredible feeling.
And despite the terrible weather and the little mishaps in the morning, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect wedding. Or a better husband.
Maybe I wasn't quite ready for retirement.
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Maybe I just needed a sabbatical.
This place needs a good spring clean and a fresh start...
PUBLIC NOTICE
Published Thursday, June 07, 2007 by PPQ.
PPQ has gone into retirement...this blog is bust.
Please feel free to browse her archives (ooh-err!).
Thank you.
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Please feel free to browse her archives (ooh-err!).
Thank you.
A place in the country
Published Saturday, March 03, 2007 by PPQ.Plans have been afoot for a few months now…Bonobo got himself a new job teaching at a school in Oxfordshire and we started talking about buying a place together.
I love London, I really do, but recently I have been noticing that I’m not myself anymore. That I’m stressed and exhausted and I’m not even excited by going out to the pub to meet my friends anymore. And most of all, I realise that I never have the time or the inclination to read books or write.
This, I decided, was a bad state of affairs so I had a chat with my boss, gave him three months notice (I was only contracted to give one) and we started house-hunting in Oxfordshire. It made sense as I has previously lived there for five years and had been to university there too.
After seeing some real rotters, we found a place that we fell in love with instantly….a wonky, little, Victorian worker’s cottage with an inglenook fireplace and a decent-sized garden.
Our offer was accepted and my three months notice finished and Bonobo and I moved into our Hobbit Cottage not so long ago.
I’m really enjoying living in the country, doing little bits here and there to make our house our own. And I’m really looking forward to growing some vegetables. But now I have the task of finding a job that I will enjoy.
Let’s see what happens…
I love London, I really do, but recently I have been noticing that I’m not myself anymore. That I’m stressed and exhausted and I’m not even excited by going out to the pub to meet my friends anymore. And most of all, I realise that I never have the time or the inclination to read books or write.
This, I decided, was a bad state of affairs so I had a chat with my boss, gave him three months notice (I was only contracted to give one) and we started house-hunting in Oxfordshire. It made sense as I has previously lived there for five years and had been to university there too.
After seeing some real rotters, we found a place that we fell in love with instantly….a wonky, little, Victorian worker’s cottage with an inglenook fireplace and a decent-sized garden.
Our offer was accepted and my three months notice finished and Bonobo and I moved into our Hobbit Cottage not so long ago.
I’m really enjoying living in the country, doing little bits here and there to make our house our own. And I’m really looking forward to growing some vegetables. But now I have the task of finding a job that I will enjoy.
Let’s see what happens…
Lost
Published Wednesday, November 22, 2006 by PPQ.
We spent hours listening to sad songs, pondering their meaning
Wondering if they ever found their happy endings
We were inseparable
Dependents
We gently manipulated each other
He didn’t like me spending time with other boys
I didn’t like him spending time with other girls
Perhaps we mistook our mutual love for something more than friendship
Perhaps we never should have tried to find out ‘what if?’
Some met him and thought him a bit feckless
Timid, quiet, what have you
But I saw his passionate nature
The fire in his eyes when he saw me
His devotion to me
The night he pushed me away so hard I crashed into his wardrobe door
The childhood friendship he sacrificed to win me back
But he ran when he got scared
And that wound he inflicted was slow to heal
But heal it did and in the end eros never had suited us - agape was the true love
I knew I would have been his friend till death did us part
But he walked away to another land
With a girl I could never like
And so he sacrificed another friendship on the altar to love
Changed his appearance, his smile, his beliefs
Moulded himself to fit her
From time to time I see a group e-mail telling of their visits to London
Would anyone like to meet up?
I make up my excuses
For I am weak
And I have no conceivable idea what we should talk about
And yet every now and then I still think of him
And I wonder if we’ll ever make another lasagne as we talked and laughed
And remembered what good friends we were
Soundtrack Beloved Wife – Natalie Merchant
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Wondering if they ever found their happy endings
We were inseparable
Dependents
We gently manipulated each other
He didn’t like me spending time with other boys
I didn’t like him spending time with other girls
Perhaps we mistook our mutual love for something more than friendship
Perhaps we never should have tried to find out ‘what if?’
Some met him and thought him a bit feckless
Timid, quiet, what have you
But I saw his passionate nature
The fire in his eyes when he saw me
His devotion to me
The night he pushed me away so hard I crashed into his wardrobe door
The childhood friendship he sacrificed to win me back
But he ran when he got scared
And that wound he inflicted was slow to heal
But heal it did and in the end eros never had suited us - agape was the true love
I knew I would have been his friend till death did us part
But he walked away to another land
With a girl I could never like
And so he sacrificed another friendship on the altar to love
Changed his appearance, his smile, his beliefs
Moulded himself to fit her
From time to time I see a group e-mail telling of their visits to London
Would anyone like to meet up?
I make up my excuses
For I am weak
And I have no conceivable idea what we should talk about
And yet every now and then I still think of him
And I wonder if we’ll ever make another lasagne as we talked and laughed
And remembered what good friends we were
Soundtrack Beloved Wife – Natalie Merchant
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Links
- Melt your heart - Jenny Lewis
- Above the clouds - Turin Brakes
- Out of our hands - Gemma Hayes
- Get up and go - Broadcast 2000
- 1234 - Feist
- Burning - The Whitest Boy Alive
- tbtf - Broken Social Scene
- Henney Buggy Band - Sufjan Stevens
- Mountain - Ann Scott
- There is a light that never goes out - The Smiths
- Eleanor Rigby - Douglas Coupland
- The Death and Life of Charlie St.Cloud - Ben Sherman
- Like Water for Chocolate - Laura Esquivel
- If Nobody Speaks of Remarkable Things - Jon McGregor
- The Distance Between Us - Maggie O'Farrell
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