…while my son Liam is doing his rap thing, I’ve just kind of been in a JC mood.

My truck no longer has a driver’s side window because Liam hasn’t quite grasped the concept of potential ricochet’s with the BB/Pellet gun. I think we’ll hold off on getting him the .22 rifle I was looking at upgrading him to. The truck still works though and the dogs know that if I’m going someplace in it, that they too are going to get a chance to go “bye-bye”. You can’t say that word too loud though because if they hear it, it triggers a little bit of a freak out time for them.  Sometimes a stroll through the countryside is just what the doctor ordered, although with the dogs in the truck in the middle of summer’s sweltering heat (and no air conditioning), what we have is a hot wind in the face, swirling shedded dog hair, everybody wanting to be on my lap, drool flowing like a waterfall and the non-stop rhythmic sound of panting.  Would be sort of comical if there could be some kind of hidden camera.

Not sure if, wherever y’all may be, you get those redneck type jokes forwarded to you in your email.  I don’t know that I would be officially considered one or be embraced by redneck brethren as a fellow redneck, but unavoidably the tendencies are there.  Actually if I drive my truck I get ten times the waves I do when I drive my car, even the big rigs give me the high sign. The jokes are very popular among the rednecks I know, made popular by Jeff Foxworthy and the other Blue Collar Comedy guys, and I’m a little impressed by a group of people being able to laugh at how they have been stereotyped (or have stereotyped themselves).  Ethnic groups do the same thing, kind of roasting themselves, but anyone outside of that group making those kind of stereotypical (racist?) jokes would be frowned upon.  Anyway I get these redneck jokes forwarded to me all the time and got a few good ones I’ve edited recently from my Grandpa.

You’re An EXTREME Redneck When…..
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of  her kids.
4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different  night..
6. Someone in your family died right after saying ‘Hey, guys, watch this’.
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

Along those lines, interestingly (or not) enough called the Erudite Redneck. An interesting word, “erudite”, I had to look it up, “learned, scholarly, with emphasis on knowledge gained from books”. Kind of an oxymoron (another big word) if you take the stereotype to the next level. Kind of one of those resource link commentary type sites but since my buddy The Warden” is taking a break, I need something to fill the gap in my internet buffet.

If you weren’t Johnny Cashed-out before this post, that like these others before, is on, about, for or in tribute to the man, well…let’s say…I’m still trying.  I personally would have a hard time getting sick of his music, but then again I’ve never tried to break that threshold.  Like everything it’s all about timing and what mood your in.  You may have seen that I posted two very different releases of his, American Recordings and The Sun Years, plus several other random tunes, sparsely salted to taste, throughout my posts here.  I really can’t get enough of the guy and wish that he had been like one of those mythical biblical type guys who lived 9oo years.  His output was tremendous but what could it have hurt to have gone on for a few more centuries.  Speaking of “hurt”, I don’t have all the American Recoding stuff he did with Rick Rubin, but just discovered a tune he did, written by Trent Resnor (NIN) that, if you haven’t already heard it, will blow you away, especially if you’re like me and have been hopelessly addicted to something,
Hurt

This fine image was stolen/borrowed/loaned without permission from Sharp Tattoos and fit nicely since my copy of this single doesn’t have a sleeve.  Both tunes are perfect on this one from 1971 from what I would call the middle period of his career, but obviously Man In Black is the highlight and worth posting the lyrics to,
Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
Why you never see bright colors on my back,
And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
Well, there’s a reason for the things that I have on.

I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
Livin’ in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
But is there because he’s a victim of the times.

I wear the black for those who never read,
Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
About the road to happiness through love and charity,
Why, you’d think He’s talking straight to you and me.

Well, we’re doin’ mighty fine, I do suppose,
In our streak of lightnin’ cars and fancy clothes,
But just so we’re reminded of the ones who are held back,
Up front there ought ‘a be a Man In Black.

I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
I wear the black in mournin’ for the lives that could have been,
Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.

And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
Believen’ that the Lord was on their side,
I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
Believen’ that we all were on their side.

Well, there’s things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin’ everywhere you go,
But ’til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You’ll never see me wear a suit of white.

Ah, I’d love to wear a rainbow every day,
And tell the world that everything’s OK,
But I’ll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
‘Till things are brighter, I’m the Man In Black.
I’m not one to quote Wikipedia and actually I’ve run across many sites that pretty much just quote Wiki without credit and then call it good.  Cheezy in my book, but I’m not one to talk as this place may have the reek of something like burnt Parmesan at times.  This paragraph was too good to not pass on directly so,
“Cash, a devout but troubled Christian, has been characterized “as a lens through which to view American contradictions and challenges.” A Biblical scholar,  he penned a Christian novel entitled Man In White, and he made a spoken word recording of the entire New King James Version of the New Testament.  Even so, Cash declared that he was “the biggest sinner of them all”, and viewed himself overall as a complicated and contradictory man. Accordingly, Cash is said to have “contained multitudes”, and has been deemed “the philosopher-prince of American country music”.  A good lead in to the ‘A’ side of this single.

Man In Black

Little Bit Of Yesterday

I have a lot of Johnny Cash singles but this was my first from his early stuff off the Sun label.  My copy is worn to say the least and actually according to “Goldmine Standards” is is rated “good”, which is not so good.  The label is worn, there’s sticker residue, but there’s “WOL” (writing on label).  The vinyl itself has absolutely no sheen, just one big scuff, no scratches that skip, but there is a whole speaker that is dedicated to surface noise.  Even still the sound is beautiful.  I don’t know their names but I dig the “Tennessee Two”.  Now that I live in a place where Country is THE music of choice for young and old, I can see how really popular Mr. Cash was.  Watched this special on the man not to long ago that basically put him in a place where he was as popular as the British invasion.  In the early 60’s, when he did “Ring of Fire” he crossed over to the pop charts into that top 40. More often than not, popular, means shit, but sometimes…not,

I Walk The Line

Get Rhythm

Another seriously great one from the man, that someone has kindly shared the video of. You can pretty much find just about anything on Youtube. Ira Hayes is someone worth looking into especially if your in the mood to be angry or depressed.

The audio,
Johnny Cash – The Ballad of Ira Hayes

Liam and I got a kick out of this one.

People around me are  jealous because the voices only talk to me.  But have no fear I will pass along everything I hear.  There’s this new lady here at work that maybe someone can relate to.  A know it all, that even though she’s only been around for a couple of weeks, doesn’t need any training.  As I’ve said before, I work with people who have developmental or are dual diagnosed and have severe mental illness as well.  Like anywhere though, when you’re dealing with people, you have to get to know them and it takes time.  This lady is classic though, on day four she’s already turning people in and telling them how they should deal individuals.  I haven’t really had anything to do with her yet, I’m a little higher on the ladder, but I’m kind of looking forward to my first run in.  Down the hall though, the other day I heard her talking to someone about her “area of expertise”.  Made me laugh hard enough that I’m sure I was heard.  A fucking “area of expertise”?  Classic!  I realize that SOME people actually have an area of expertise, but to hear someone spout that made me want to puke.  How fucking cocky and egotistical.  “Know it all”, is what we called it when we were kids.  Ahh, maybe it’s jealousy.  I know a lot of shit (90% useless) and dabble in a lot of things, a poor excuse for a renaissance man really, but an “area of expertise”?  Well I guess I do…in drug and alcohol use/abuse.  In other words, I am an expert in how to get fucked up.  Better yet, I KNOW how to be a loser.  At the same time thare are lots of people who were better losers than I was, not sure if I spent enough time in that state to qualify as an expert, a masters as opposed to a PHd.  Even though it’s been almost five years, I don’t know if I would say I was an expert on staying clean, still got a ways to go before I get my doctorate in that.  So, I’m a pretty busy guy at work but I think that just to feel better about myself, I’m going to take some time to harrass this lady.

“I smile because I don’t know what’s going on”.

My old friend Alex (shit, about 25 years now) hit me up with some interesting tidbits the other day that are worth sharing here.  If you claim to be a TRUE ladies man, you might be interested in the X-Ray Pin-Up Calendar.  At the very least, a trip and a half. He also shared with me this clip of John Trudell from a much bigger documentary that was done on him (what do you know) called “Trudell”.  I got into what he had to say and now will need to see if I can’t pick up the whole thing. 

Theres also another vid someone did with some of his intense poetry, called “Look At Us” that you can follow that up with here. Thanx Alex!

Well now if you follow along here, post to post, in my chaotic jumble of words, thoughts and musings, which everyone should as this place is far superior to anything that has been or will be on the interenet, you already have heard of Unbiased. Even though I’ve had this one for almost 20 years, it was released in ‘93, when I gave it a spin a couple of weeks back, I couldn’t tell if it was supposed to be played at 33 or 45 rpm. Sounded good both ways really, but what the fuck do I know. Elliott said that at 33 the vocals sound a bit more human, which left me thinking it sure would be cool if someone did sing that way, just kinda unusually cool. See what I mean, Unbaised – Greedy Human @ 45rpm.  So Shawn and Jay, did a little research on it, found their Myspace and BAM, there it was plain as day.  The last tune they have for your consumption there is the last tune on this 7″, played at 33 rpm.  Mystery solved, and as I am sometimes easily amused, I feel satisfied and somehow the record is now complete.  These guys, outta Japan, didn’t have a whole lot of output, this one that I have, a split with Unholy Grave and a couple tracks on the Thrash Ahoy comp, according to Discogs (which is where I stole these killer scans from, I hope to have a running scanner before too long).  I guess they’re kinda of a grindcore outfit and kinda early on in that genre’s history, but they are one of the more interesting ones.  Not that balls to the wall, non-stop screaming type of thing, they slow it up, just a tiny bit to give you some heaviness and maybe a little more digable to people that might not be down with straight up, generic, grindcore.  Try it out, Greedy Human was my favorite,

Introduction/No!

Greedy Human

Suck Up

Blast Off

Never Absorb

Buster Halter

Well we’re back in the saddle at my house with Liam here to make sure things are BUSY.  At 13, with 14 around the corner, fucking energy just oozes from his pores.  A four day football camp over at K-State as soon as he got here only amounted to one day of tired.  In the four days since he’s had fishing, BBQing, shooting the BB gun (the side window in me truck was already a casualty), mowing with the riding lawn mower, hanging out with his Kansas friend and practicing his driving on the 20 or so miles of dirt road between our farm and town.  DAMN!  A blast really and just an honor to have him around, the fruit of my loins, ha, ha.  On top of everything else he brought a microphone and as he has been doing in North Carolina he records beats off the internet and does raps over them using Audacity.  As I’ve said I’m very selective about what hip hop music I like, but this is my boy using his creativity, incredible.  Him and his buddies have this thing going called Ice Men (check they’re myspace) and they seem to be cranking out the tunes. They’re actually starting to experiment with their own beats too. Here’s on of those,
all i du iz spit
Doin his papa proud. Needless to say I’m busy, maybe too much so to do this, but fuck, I’ve got a few of you guys that are coming here regularly and I don’t want to lose that.  We’ ll keep the ball rolling in what little bit of free time I have, a’ite?

For a short period of time between when I told my boss to fuck off at my city job and when I became a 24 hour a day drunk druggie, I had my own business.  On the edge really as I was still passing out every night but managed to get a few jobs done.  I called it Hrabe & Son Landscape after Sanford & Son.  They have that show still playing all the time on the TV Land channel but does anybody remember the theme song.  Funky jazzy stuff that’s pretty wild, dig the whole thing,
Quincy Jones – Streetbeater (Sanford & Son theme song)

You know it’s wild what pops up when you do a random image search for a word like “leftovers”. Stole this fine image from a very interesting site called, Deviant Art.
The artist goes by the name,
Plasma Snake
and if you take a look at his work he definitely works with a theme. All that because the recording I’m sharing with you for now did not come with an image of it’s own, so in the not so random sense I have used my imagination. The fucking LEFTOVERS, another one of Little Jimmy’s things, that he has taken the time to send my way. What a way back when kind of a treat. First local band I saw upon moving up to Humboldt in 1987 and my immediate thought was, this place is going to be a blast. I also remember thinking these guys were drunks but I was pretty drunk myself. A party band? I guess if you mean did they play parties, yes, that was the scene up in Humboldt, at least a couple a week with live bands, but I think I did see them at a few venues around Arcata too. Not sure if they ever did a tour or played outside of the county, that’s something James will have clue us into,
“Leftovers: 86-89.
Chris Means-vox
Eric Baffert-guitar
James Forbes-bass
John Bishop-drums
Recorded @ vinyl taco in Arcata in Nov 88. We played so many shows/parties it was ridiculous.  The hardest workin band in show biz…we used to say. Opened for Screaming Trees when they were on SST.  NoMeansNo.  Lawndale. Pop O Pies.  Tusk(a Gwar type show, pre-Gwar, with members of Redd Kross, Painted Willie, etc, an SST thing). Verbal Abuse.  The last 3 were in Garberville!” Vinyl Taco was pretty much the only “real” recording studio around other than KHSU and a few guys around who had 8 and 4 track things. The last place I lived in Humboldt was the house in front as the studio was located in a shed out back. It was run by my landlord, this character named Jeff, and to be honest with you I don’t think he was that good as an engineer. I believe he did the sound on the Garden Weasel 7″. The mix on this one has the vocals up a bit too loud and the bass a bit too low for my taste, but when you have a band as good as the Leftovers, they easily overcome that. My favorite here is “#1 With a Bullet”, check it,

Numbered Days

Back of My Mind

#1 With a Bullet

Awful quiet round here, seem to have lost a few of my regulars here at the Mustard Relics cafe.  Comments kind of keep the ball rolling but I really can’t complain so I’ll keep peeing outside until someone tells me to stop.

One thing that reminds me of Humboldt around here and when I do see it I realize that if I wanted to I could be making some serious cash on the side.  I’ve said it before, this shit grows wild here, in this picture it’s just too close to the old chicken coops to mow.  This is not smokable, I tried when I was about 14, this is straight up hemp, for making rope, leftover from the days when that was a crop.  Instant headache as far as smoking, may as well inhale the smoke from a house fire.  You  can thank chemical companies that manufacture nylon (Union Carbide, PPG, et. al.) for it not being a useful crop anymore.  Anybody ever read or heard of The Emperor Wears No Clothes, a good read if Marijuana history is your thing. My California friends tell me though that there you just need a medical marijuana card to be able to buy it at stores they have all over the place, “just look for the green cross”.  Imagine if I put good seed in the ground…oh my, they’d think it was just ditch weed.  I’ve traveled that road though, coffee and cigarettes is plenty for me but for now gonna let my “hemp” grow to see how tall it gets. I know it’s cliche and hippy of me (as despicable as that is to some), I feel compelled to post some Yellowman.  When I saw him in ‘87 I was blown away, or maybe just stoned out of my mind.  If you’re not too closed minded give it a listen, the words are worth it, and you can’t miss when it’s Yellowman with his old pal Fathead,
Yellowman & Fathead – Life Was A Thing

Another 33/45 rpm conundrum for ya.  I’ve had this 7″ since it came out in ‘93 and I don’t remember which decision I made back then.  It just doesn’t say which speed to play it at and I like it both ways, but I want to post it right.  You make the call (I think it’s 45),
Unbiased – Greedy Human @ 33rpm
Unbaised – Greedy Human @ 45rpm

Just to start this off, before we get to what I call the highlight of this post, James was kind enough to send along another tune, by a band I’ve never heard of.  Worthwhile enough to share with y’all just to get you warmed up,
Mojomatics – Another Cheat

My Humboldt buddy James has outdone himself again and served me up with some sweet vittles and pickens from up around there, circa ‘86 or ‘87.
I was busy that year living in the dorms struggling with my first year of serious schooling (high school is just barely a warm up to what you get in college), and partying my ass off, taking full advantage of being responsible for myself and answering to no one. Between the junior college transfers, living with us who were already 21 and the dope dealers that roamed the halls, it was a battle between enriching the mind with knowledge and the forest fire of burning brain cells.   I was smoking the finest bud Humboldt had to offer, everclear jungle juice with fresh fruit out of a trash can, uncut crystal meth (geeter) straight from some freakazoid’s lab and tea made from my own concoction of psychedelic mushrooms and LSD, plus it seemed like half the kids were on some kind of pharmaceutical that could be taken recreationally.  Long story short, I missed these guys.  I didn’t meet James until he was in a band called the Leftovers, which I hope he’s going to kick down so you can catch the greatness that was them.  15 or so years later I got hooked up with James again (virtually anyway), but he had no recollection of me.  Apparently I’m not as memorable as I thought I was.   So as I said James kicked down again with one of his bands that just blew me away.  James shared with me some of the particulars, ”
DORF:86-87.
Nigel Hill-guitar, scary metal yells
Jesse Wickman-drums, vocals
James Forbes-bass, vocals
Dorf was me teaching them about punk and them teaching me about metal.  This demo was recorded by Mike Briggs in Jesse’s kitchen in 87 in Arcata.  We would break up/morph into Slug, then Frottage soon. 
Dorf played lots of local parties and maybe a real show or 2.  Then Wickman moved away to live in Rosa, then joined Nuisance.” 
Slug and Frottage I vaguely remember from a party or two at some time or another.  Nuisance, I have much better recollection of as you may remember I posted their Attractive Nuisance demo.  Dorf though was reason enough for Humboldt to have been on the hardcore/punk rock map.  This shit is the real deal and isn’t small town dudes just trying their hand at good hard music.  Straight up love this shit.  Jame’s bass playing is a plus in any band and in this case it just hits you like a slab of concrete.  Everybody in this band comes together and proves that this was definitely a scene.  I could go on and on and probably get repetitive on how off the fucking chart this shit is, but we’ll stop here.  If you’re a pussy and only game to try one tune, the first one he sent me as a sample, make it “Forsythe, Georgia”.  Incredible,

Nebraska Raisin Rice(reprise)

Apple Pie Mushroom Slug

NRC

Headline

Smiling Crook

Parts is Parts

Yankee Caesar

The Spider and the Fly

And So Forth

Forsythe, Georgia

The Big House

Bitchin’ Kitchen

Ransom Note

Please hit me up with some comments on this one as I want James to know it’s worth it to send me shit that somebody just has to appreciate.

My wife Kim decided to make use of our broken down mower (some of us white trash redneck wannabe types move dead equipment/vehicles to a special place on the property, others, such as ourselves, leave them where they die). The “Scarecrow Mower Man”, as I call him, had the census lady, that came out the other day, talking to him as she pulled up the driveway thinking he might be able to tell her how many people live here.

I know some of you guys do the Youtube thing, but I’m not sure if anyone bothers to pay attention to the comments.  For the most part they strike me as coming from idiotic teenagers with zero life experience, who spend a lot of time telling each other to fuck off and just in general spouting bullshit (ha, ha, I sound like an old fart).  Sometimes it really pisses me off and reminds me that there’s a lot of people making my planet crowded.  Other times they’re good for a laugh though and if you can’t do that every once in a while you may as well end it now.  On this video, we have American Breed doing “Bend Me Shape Me”. One of the comments suggests,
“they talking about rolling a joint ??
bend me shape me ??”
The reply kills me,
“EVERYTHING IS ABOUT WEED.
EVERYTHING.”
Reminds me of this Saturday Night Live skit, from the ’90s I think, with this hippy/rasta type who has a store and with just about every item in the store, he says, “you can put your weed in there”. Anybody do SNL? The 90’s was kind of lame for that show.

Another one of my Grandpa’s forwarded emails. One of those typical ones that probably has circled the globe more times than Magellan (he actually didn’t make it, got speared in the Philippines), but if I’ve gotten it before I think I ignored it the first time round. Humorous, insightful and stupid all rolled up into one.
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of Politicians give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, ‘What the hell happened?’
22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Posted this one on Facebook, but felt it was good enough to put here. The tune itself proves that some Neu Metal is worthwhile and fucking eh the video is intense enough to make a good watch.

The audio for that one,
Rob Zombie – Lords Of Salem

Got this 7″, released in 2008, not too long ago, proving that I’m not totally stuck in the past. There really is so much music to be found out there these days it can actually be overwhelming.  I got this in a lot that had one record I wanted, making it a  random score and not something I chose to get.   Just an aside, I got another package today in the mail (not the one this record came in), I had been anxiously expecting a batch of $.50 and $1 records I bought, and I’ll be damned if the dude sent me the wrong package.  The one he sent me included Neil Diamond’s “Hello Again” and Rick Springfield’s “Love Somebody”.  I’m proud of my varied taste in music, but damn those are definitely not Mustard Relics.  Like driving an hour to see some bands play and finding out the show’s been canceled.  Fucking blue balls.  Anyway, back to the 7″ of the moment… I Hate This turned out to be a pleasant (if that’s what you would call the sound) surprise.  Seriously hard hitting hardcore bordering on power violence.  Female vocals make it special in a way too.  It’s not a sexual thing or anything cheesy like that, it’s just a rarity to have a woman singing hardcore.  Of course a female singer doesn’t mean it has to be good, but in this case the whole package just works.  Nothing half-assed about this shit, even the lyrics that are sung faster than you can read them, are worthwhile (but I don’t have a scanner so you’ll have to look them up).  This is a re-release of sorts in that it compiles their tunes from two different split 7″s they did with other bands.  Anyway…blah blah blah…yadda yadda yadda…dig it or don’t.

Lost

Eulogy/Reprieve

Sanctuary

Thieves

IHT/We All Know

I Can’t Scream Any Louder

VHEMT (Voluntary Human Extinction Movement)

Beloved

As happens sometimes, when I first played this it was at the wrong speed, 33 instead of 45.  Damned if I didn’t think they played some fucking good music that way though.  See what you think.

IHT/We All Know (@ 33rpm)

The barn swallows came back from their yearly trip down to southernmost South America about a week ago.  Everywhere I’ve ever lived there’s been barn swallows so I guess they’re kind of like pigeons, seagulls (yes even in Kansas), and starlings, except maybe that they’re native and they migrate.  Anybody remember in the OLD Bugs Bunny cartoons, him singing, “Oh when the swallows come back to Capistrano”?  Interesting how I was thinking about them and I got in touch with an old house mate/buddy of mine Shawn (hey man) from college who specialized in ornithology (the study of birds).  My first memories of seeing swallows (a different variety than we have here I believe) was back in those college days when I had a job riding a lawn mower on campus.  Not sure what it was about but I always took them for being playful, because they would dive and streak in front of me as I was mowing along as if they were daring me to try to get them.  They’re probably just hunting insects.  If you’ve seen it before you know how it’s kind of daringly comical.  The ones here, some 20 years later in my life, do the same thing and actually will do that while you’re walking. You can find them just about anyplace around here, on my farm it’s the barns.  They don’t dig it when you go in there while they’re nesting and kind of dive bomb and flutter over your head.  I’m not sure why I’m writing about them except that as your local internet prophet you listen.  Part of it is that I’m stoked to have an old solid head like Shawn back on the radar.  The computer age has made that so much easier, although I guess that can be a bad thing too if you don’t want to be found.  To put myself out there actually puts me at risk but what the fuck.  Part of my fanciful barn swallow musings, is that in this time of my life, I enjoy paying to attention to what’s going on around me, especially in nature but everywhere in general.  So much of my life is a blur, it’s nice to sit back and smell the coffee.

It’s that time again, sharing another tune I heard on the oldies/classic rock radio station I listen to these days.  May have mentioned it before but I am NOT a Bruce Springsteen fan.  Just never bought into his deal although I’ve heard he’s one of the hardest working dudes in RnR, constant touring and 4 hour shows.  Always figured he had that Eastern US appeal with guys working in a steel mill or the docks listening to him while they work.  There is a softer side to your humble servant here at Mustard Relics, the only tune I know of liking by the “Boss” and the tune I heard on the radio,
Bruce Springsteen – I’m on Fire
As has become somewhat of a custom around here, I’m always curious about and interested in sharing covers of a featured tune.  The first represents the worst kind of cover, what I have called a karaoke cover. On top of that the guy makes me a little sick to my stomach,
Ari Hest – I’m On Fire
About the same, LAME,
John Mayer – I’m On Fire
A little more interesting, slowed down with the addition of strings, not bad,
Bat for Lashes – I’m on Fire
Interesting but not inspiring,
HLAH (Head Like A Hole) – I’m On Fire
Better than the original, but Mr. Cash with his one of kind voice and genuine soulful emotion, the man never had a bad moment in my book (even the gospel stuff),
Johnny Cash- I’m On Fire

The wife and I watch this real life crime show on TruTV called “Forensic Files” (a hilarious show on TruTV is “The Smoking Gun Presents: World’s Dumbest” [you MUST check the link unless you don't like to laugh]).  Not a big fan of cops although I did call them when my truck got stolen, which kind of makes me hypocritical.   May have mentioned before too that I called them once on myself on day 2 or 3 of particularly disgusting detox, thinking there was a dragon under my bed and that some people had left a baby in my house.  An additional aside is that I’m a serious  dickhead because I really enjoy seeing live video of people getting tazed, a guaranteed laugh out of me every time.  Shit I’m laughing just thinking about someone’s body going stiff and falling to the ground.  As many dealings as I’ve had with the cops, I never mouthed off or ran away, because I knew that it usually ends up worse.  Anyway “Forensic Files” is interesting, the real science behind shows like CSI.  If you watch it enough and pay attention, you may just learn how to do the perfect crime.  Long story short (as usual), they did an episode on the murder of Mia Zapata, the lead singer of the Gits (not the lame Polish skinhead one that plays around today) out of Seattle.  I wasn’t into grunge back in the early 90’s but today I can (sadly) say that they were a seriously rocking band.

The audio from the video
The Gits – Second Skin (live 06-27-93)
Another better sounding live version
The Gits – Second Skin

Well, I’ve been waiting for a while now, as my buddy Erich teased me some time ago, by suggesting that he might post something beautiful and rare from Infest. I don’t really have anything that rare, I guess this one might be as only 1000 were pressed. A ways back here at MR, I gave you for your sampling pleasure their Slave lp which when my old junior high school mate, Bob over at Deep Six Records gets around to releasing their discography (the much awaited Neanderthal one as well), I’ll be taking that down. Also gave you a pre-Infest band, Open Your Mind(OYM) that were pretty spectacular in my opinion too. But Infest, I don’t care if hardcore died in ‘85 or ‘86 (I’m not inclined to disagree), these guys were THE hardcore band or at least the next logical progression in hardcore. I could sing their praises for an hour but what’s the point, except to egotistically read my own words. Pissed Happy Children(PHC) are part of a long history of bassist Eric Wood bands. These guys were a nice chapter in that saga. Not the all out attack of Infest, a little more jazzy in their hardcore-ness. Was going to post their “Vigilante” 7″, but in the last 30 seconds of side one of my copy there is one of those diabolical repeating skips of a scratch (tragic). So you get them and Infest which should be well worth anyone’s time. Please listen,

PHC – Never Fair

PHC – No Gain, No Pain

Infest – Mindless

Infest – Which Side?

Infest – Them

Infest – V.Y.O!

Infest – Pissed!

This thing was re-released as a 7″ about ten years late in 2000, but I don’t have that (I was VERY drunk that year).  It’s a shame because it had additional tracks but owe well.  To make up for that, I do have the Earth Rapers and Hell Raisers comp, which PHC made an appearance on, so it would surprise me if anybody gave a fuck but here’s their contribution,

PHC – Graveyard at Sea

To wrap this up, some guy (I’m assuming it’s a guy) who should be Sainted or Knighted or something has gone out of his way to give us a glimpse at Infest live.  If you didn’t like the shit I’ve already posted by them then this will be a complete waste of your time but if not…

It’s funny because I can kinda tell when it’s time to do another post, when the “regulars” around here start trickling down on the comments.  If you take that whole, this is my coffee house thing and you guys are my guests, I’m putting on another fresh pot of my finest blend boys and you’re welcome to get it while it’s fresh.  (The guy at left, who looks a little like my buddy Ed, although not nearly as good looking, is showing you the sign for “coffee”)  We’re still missing a few people on the last post, but to be honest with yall I hope they get back to that one, because that post in the context of my life, is probably the most important of the 281 posts I’ve done so far.  On top of that, in my opinion, that music is perfect, in it’s emotion, it’s performance and it’s complete and utter lack of bullshit.  It sets the standard by which I judge all other music.

The posts around here, at least for a time, may shrink or dwindle as my son Liam will be here for his summer stay in a couple of weeks.  Time to get away from the radiation and enjoy the outdoors.  All kinds of plans, as usual, and we’ll be lucky if we get half of them done.  Probably set up head quarters at the river or the lake or where the river meets the lake.  Redneck things involving fishing poles, guns, and my 13 year old boy tearing up the dirt roads doing some driving practice.  Will update…

I posted this tune on FB and really it speaks for itself, I don’t have to tell you how great this is.

Then I found this one. Excellent cover. I’ve said it before, I can’t stand a karaoke cover, where it sounds like a feeble attempt to make it as close to the original as possible.  Do your own thing and make the song yours.  Plus on this one, I’m a sucker for the cello (or is it a stand up bass played with a bow or are they the same) and singing through the loud speaker a la the Butthole Surfers giving you that police standoff/riot feel which is perfect.

The audio for those two:
The Clash-Guns Of Brixton
Arcade Fire – Guns of Brixton
A couple recently discovered tunes that fit into the category of “good” covers (of course not nearly as good as the originals):
original=Venom – Angel Dust cover=Morpheus Descends – Angel Dust
original=Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart cover=The Cure – Love Will Tear Us Apart

Just so you know, I hate the fact that I have no scanner and I have to steal crappy scans from random sites.  Another example of why it’s far from perfect around here.  The lack of “really” rare records in my milk crates is another.  For instance this one is very common, but it was also released on a much rarer 78rpm promo copy (my turntable doesn’t play at 78 anyway).  So…999.  This I believe is their 2nd 7″ from 1977.  I’ve had it dubbed on cassette for eons, but recently got it for a couple of bucks.  Never was that much of a 999 fan, I really just dabbled in that 77′ UK scene, except the Clash, until much later (unless you consider the whole Crass phenomenon as part of that).  This is their best in my opinion, (that’s why I finally bought it, duh) but even though the A side is pretty damn good it’s the B side that gets my rocks off.  So disgustingly snotty.  If you don’t know it, take a minute to do so now, and if you do, I hope you know what I’m talking about.

Nasty! Nasty!

No Pity

Grandma (with my Mom and Aunt) who shared her native genes with me.  Unfortunately one of the genes I got was the tendency towards alcoholism (still not sure the whole alcoholism/addict gene is a factual thing).  Recently I finished reading “Potawatomie: Keepers of the Fire” (the particular native group I inherited traits from), a history from European (French) contact through their “relocation”.  I was always idealistic about Native Americans and over the years, even though I subscribe to a lot of the spirituality (not in a New Age way by a long shot), I realize that they were just people too.  In that book, just prior to most of the tribe being removed from the great lakes region to lands further to the west (there is still a small reservation here in Kansas and of course a very nice casino), a Chief, Topinbee (He Who Sits Quietly), was quoted as saying, “We care not for the land, the money, or the goods, it is the whiskey we want – give us the whiskey.”  Man that’s a place I have certainly been.  One of my first memories was my Mom telling me that we had Indian blood.  From that point on I rooted for the Indians in every Western movie or TV show I watched (my first rated ‘R’ movie was “Little Big Man”).  Of course in film and television, true to history, they weren’t portrayed accurately and in the long run they won nothing.   I wonder if I was born with a tendency to root for the underdog.  Regardless, whenever I’ve had the chance, from childhood, through college, and still, I’ve studied Native American history, culture, mythology and religion.  The reality of course is that there were hundreds (if not thousands) of tribes in the America’s that were as different from each other as the tribes of Europe, Asia and Africa were.  There is a tendency to do this pan-Indian thing (lumping tribes together for their shared traits), today part of a unifying factor among the tribes and their mutual identity, but as separate groups of people they were like any other groups of people, sometimes they got along other times they didn’t.  Like all human beings, as  individuals flawed but I always felt drawn towards the spirituality and the strong ties to the earth.  Still wonder if there isn’t some idealism.  To this day I consult a Native friend of mine who has a lot of experience, wisdom and close ties to various groups of elders.  A BIG part of my sobriety and what little sanity I have.  So for the various tribes their lack of a common cause was up against the European unifying factor, conquest of the America’s by any means necessary.  Inevitably the groups were knocked off like flies or as my Native American history professor, Jack Norton would say, a kind of systematic genocide. The Dawes Act is a great place to start if you’re interested in the conquest of North America.
So back when I was in elementary school, we would walk over to the library, and even then I had a love for records and music, so imagine my joy when I discovered albums full of Native American music.  I had been to Pow Wow’s, but the first thing these records showed me was the diversity in the music.  Back then I recorded everything to tape so of course these ended up recorded as well.  Shit I think I used to bug people because every time they had something worth listening to I would beg, plead, demand that they dub me a copy.  These recordings were from the 30’s and 40’s so the individuals playing and singing had a closer connection to this almost lost portion of their culture.  The elders represented here left behind some serious invaluable energy for the future (and the way I felt was that they were specifaclly recorded for me).  I spent a lot of quiet moments just laying there and listening to these tapes. I still feel a lot of emotion listening to them and back then I could close my eyes and be someplace else.  Someplace where the emotions were pure, a sense of belonging to that exact moment as opposed to the chaos I usually felt.  I will say it again, this is not some lame modern New Age flute music, this is timeless stuff. These songs may be thousands of years old or may date back to the dawn of mankind.  Pretty much just Plains and Southwest stuff here, but there is still a lot of variety.  If you listen to two make it the Rabbit Dance (2) and Bird Song Cycle (23).

Night Chant (Navajo)

Rabbit Dance (Sioux)

Sun Dance (Sioux)

Omaha Dance (Sioux)

Devil Dance (Apache)

Eagle Dance (San Ildefonso)

Harvest Dance (Zuni)

Rain Dance (Zuni)

Squaw Dance (Navajo) (a better translation would have been woman or even maiden, “squaw” in Algonquin means something like pussy, cunt or twat [or some other unpleasant term for vagina], but somehow in common English it means an Indian woman.  Not a term of any kind of dignity or respect.  Irony.

Plains Indian War Dance (Flathead)

Snake Dance (Flathead)

Pow Wow Dance (Canadian Plains)

Dog Dance (Plains)

Moonlight Song (Taos)

Gambling Song (Taos)

Eagle Dance (San Ildefonso)

Butterfly Dance (Hopi)

Enemy Away Song (Navajo)

Sunrise Song (Apache)

Bird Song Cycle (Yuma)

Saguaro Song (Papago)

Funeral Song (Walapai)

Stick Game Song (Havasupai)

That was one tape and I have a second one, that’s separated into tracks, but as was sometimes the custom when I was younger and not anal like I am now about proper labeling, I didn’t write anything down. Another 90 minutes, the second half of which is some of the best on these two tapes found here. I am very curious to know if anyone bothered to listen to any of this.

Like Bruce Lee, my son Liam kicks ass.  He just told me about this hip hop thing he has going with some of his buddies, called Ice Men.  As you know I just dabble in rap, so it would not be my first choice in musical genres but fuck that, it does me proud to have him doing something he enjoys and doing it well (especially in music).

This place may not be the perfect forum for political discussion, I’m not exactly well equipped for that kind of stuff anyway.  Like a lot of people I’m more of an emotional reactionary really.  I do reserve the right to rant and rave every so often and at the very least I would like to experiment with logic, reason and rationality.  Last thing on immigration.  The door can be wide open to everyone who chooses to make the trip, but then a country may as well do away with borders.  It can be completely shut, in cold, selfish, isolationism.  But, if it’s going to be half open, it’s never going to be fair because who decides who gets in and who doesn’t?  Okay that one’s done in my eyes and in a way it’s making me want to post Native American music.  Next post for sure, I’ve had one lined up for a while.  I do still feel completely disgusted by the oil that’s spewing out of the bottom of the ocean.  Really symbolic of human existence and it’s been that way probably since the dawn of time.  The industrial revolution was the assembly line of our own slow death (as I type on what could be the pinnacle of industrialism, the computer).  Reminds me somehow of the alcoholic.  Just the shell of a soul in a decaying body.  Those apocalyptic science fiction stories/movies don’t seem as much like fiction as prophecy.  Yes I know this is overkill, but it’s like they opened a door to hell and have no way of stopping the demons and tortured souls from continuously rushing out.  Like so much of human existence, you know the recipe,

2 1/2 cups of selfishness
1 lb. of greed
2 Tbs. of ignorance
3 tsp. self pity
a pinch of hate
add money to taste

Okay, that’s enough of that, I’m starting to sound like a true punk, angry and depressed.   :-)   How about something to pick us up, a song we have sung here before, Ren and Stimpy’s,
Happy Happy Joy Joy
A few of my buddies here, responded to the fact that I brought up Oingo Boingo a post or two ago.  Along those lines, just discovered this band, that reminds me of (The Mystical Knights of) Oingo Boingo, with the numerous musicians and that performance art style stage show, Gogol Bordello.   Gypsy Punk is how they’re described and the group is getting popular in a big label kind of way. As usual though, with me the early stuff is where I start.  Kinda reminds me of Creedle (in a silly sarcastic, jazzy kind of way) or Dieselhed (in a silly sarcastic, violin/fiddle kind of way), which is a very good thing but I don’t know if I could listen to more than just a few tunes at a time.  Give em a try,
Haltura or Let’s Get Radical
Along the lines of tunes some buddies have mentioned, Mike and The Warden both mentioned the Members.  The first tune Mike suggested, at first totally unfamiliar to me, but as soon as I saw the video I remembered it immediately,
The Members – Working Girl
The Warden added a couple more and I’m kind of feeling like these guys are worth looking into because I know nothing,
The Members – Solitary Confinement
The Members – Sound Of The Suburbs

Kinda cheated on this post but I do that sometimes around here, if anyone’s paying attention (the next post will be from my own tapes. These tunes were originally found as two big files (same bit rate), at the incredible Kill Your Pet Puppy. All I did was separate the files into tracks (as best I could) and tag them. Penguin is the man over there who deserves huge barrels filled with thank you’s for sharing his invaluable collection of music.  I posted Zounds’ 1st 7″ and mentioned this live recording that some people might be interested in.  Elliott stepped up to the plate and made a request, and since I had done the editing for myself it didn’t take much to share that.  I REALLY like this live set, just to get a feeling for what it must have been like to see them.  Despite the fact that the singer is obviously “ill”, the show sound good and has a nice energy to it

War

Dirty Squatters

New Band

Not Me

broken string rap

Can’t Cheat Karma

Demystification

Dancing

Fear

?

Great White Hunter

Target/Mr. Disney/Subvert

This Land

Not Me/Biafra

Subvert

crowd begs for more

My Mummy’s Gone

Since I was in the process of stealing rips and editing them, may as well share these as well.  These are from “A Tribute To Bert Weedon” which can be found again at Kill Your Pet Puppy.  These recordings tend to have more of a Grateful Dead-esque feel to them (at least to these old ears) which may be a turn off to some. If you can bring your self to listen to one, make it “Forgery”.

Angels

Ugly Vomit

Wolves

Can’t Cheat Karma

Holland Park/Bats

Forgery

Hands To Time

I Made It Happen

Some videos of some bands from Humboldt I’ve posted around here over time (a few not), including one with your humble (yet very silly at the time, maybe still) server here at the Mustard Relics Cafe. This old head Sam Atakra (Arcata spelled backwards in case you gave a fuck) recorded everything that went on back then up there (he may have even recorded the famous Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson video for all I know).  Check out his YouTube page.

Garden Weasel-”Boasting”

One Man Running-”Resin Scraper”

Grimace-”Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Christian Scientist”

My Name is Chris

Jolly Ho-Ho’s-”Blue People”

Sister Placebo-”Humboldt Bay”

There’s lots more if you’re into that, just go check Sam’s shit. “Later”.

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