Mushi Mushi my nearly wife Aya Ueto

After a brief yet tumultuous Tokyo liaison - a long weekend! - Aya Ueto naturally asked me to wed her.

- "I'll wear a wonderful white dress, honey! Just like a virgin-san!"

- "Just like that wonderful white dress I just posted on my blog?"

- "Hai, Stupid-san!"

- "But you ain't a virgin!"

- "Hai! But I was for a long time! I remember it."

- "Really? ... When?"

- "Before I was sixteen. Or fifteen. Can't remember."

- "This can't work out baby. I'm a goddamn Gaigan! ... I mean I ain't even been to Horoshima ... That place is still radioactive, right?"

- "I don't blame you for those nukes honey. You're not even American"

- "I know. But my mom's second-cousin's uncle, twice removed, was piloting that vile American plane."

- "It's ok Stupid-san. Buddha forgives even mass murderers. ... And 'Gaigan' is a bad word. I'm not remotely racist honey. I love the oval eyes".

- "You love the oval eyes?"

- "Yeah ......there's something about em!"

- "It must be the ovalness!"

- "Yeah, it's the ovalness, you goddamn oval-eye!"

- "That's enlightened of you baby. Wish more of compatriots had that outlook! ..... I mean, I can't get into 99% of the dens of ill repute over here. Even in Shinjuku! ...... Oops! Ahem Ahem .... Sorry! What I meant was I can't get a drink in a lot of bars over here."

- "That's just cos of the size of Stupid-junior san!"

- "You know what, I always suspected that!"





- "So will you make me the happiest hottysan in japanland, mister Stupid-san?"

- "Erm ..... Oops, sorry baby ... there goes the phone. It's my annual call from my mother in Liechtenstein. Be right back."

......... one hour later ...

- "Honey-san! Honey-san! You still there Stupid-san? .... Honey, why's your room all empty?

.......... Honey! Honey!!!!

.......... Where the f*ck are you .... you mass murdering, oval-eyed, Gaigan motherf*cker!!!!"

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J-Pop star Aya Ueto

Aya Ueto was discovered at an early age when she attended the 7th All-Japan National Beauty contest Young, where she received a special award from judges. This discovery led to numerous offers of commercial television, which finally started her acting career.

In 1999, she formed the pop group JZ-1 with Mami Nejiki, May Fujiya, and Manami Nishiwaki. They released five singles before ya went on to start a solo career when she signed with Pony Canyon two years later.

thanks japans-girls.blogspot

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"Can't we all just get the f**k along ?!"