I love music. Granted, if you’ve ever listened to any with me you’d think otherwise based on the number of times I announce “This is shit!”, but I do. Like a cobweb on a winter’s morning, a good song is a thing of beauty strong enough to ensnare, but yet so delicate that, if the wind were to change direction, it vanishes.
If music were a lady, I would have sent her many drunken late night texts confessing my undying devotion. But the Better Half gets those instead.
I’ve played the guitar since I was 16 and I’m surprisingly bad for somebody who has played an instrument for almost 20 years. I’ve jammed and played in a handful of bands across the decades (Best band name? Gaylord Mink and his Lonesome Cowboy Bill Band featuring Raoul), but most of my output has been drunken stabs at ‘Day Tripper’ in order to impress girls at parties.
They were never impressed.
I’ll admit that there is some regret that I never did more musically when I was younger. So my new year’s resolution is a simple one. Write a song and perform it solo in public. I am allowing myself an acoustic guitar and harmonica. I’ve been listening to the album ‘Nebraska’ a lot (There is no concept of “too much Bruce Springsteen”) and that’s all he used.
Let’s get things straight. I am under no illusions here. I am no Bruce Springsteen. And I have no dreams of rock’n’roll stardom. For one thing, I need my sleep these days.
So why am I doing this? Maybe I want to test myself. Maybe it’s the onset of a mid-life crisis. Maybe I’m just a massive show off who, deep down, wants a room full of people to stare at him. Maybe, these days, I don’t like being a passive consumer when it comes to art I like. Or something less wanky.
And why am I telling you this? Because if you tell yourself you’re going to do something you can always find ways to get out of it. If you tell a few hundred people that you’re going to do something, you’re going to have to go through with it or they’ll call you a dick.
This is so far out of my comfort zone I’m in a whole new district of terror. I’ve never written a song before. And I can’t sing. That’s an issue I’m trying to address. The only time I’ve ever sung on my own in public (or, more accurately, shouted words to a tune) has been karaoke. And “karaoke” is Japanese for “drunk arsehole attempting ‘Sweet Caroline’”.
But you’ve got to try something that scares you once in a while, haven’t you?