Apparently 1 in 10 public sector jobs are going to go over the next five years. 500,000 out of a total of 6,000,000.

According to David Hughes at the Telegraph, writing about this back in July, the “natural wastage” in the public sector runs at 6-7% a year. That’s some 400 thousand people who leave of their own accord for whatever reason every single year. By that figure, 2 million people will have gone by the end of this Parliament, and the Coalition – those evil, evil fiends – intend to replace those lost 400,000 each year with only 300,000 fresh faced newbies.

This will of course provoke hysterical screeching, threats of crippling strikes and predictions of armageddon, pensioners starving to death sitting in their own filth, children forced to sweep chimneys and, the ultimate slap in the social democratic face, communities going un-reached out to.

“We need reaching out to!” the communities will cry, but Clegg, hooded and sinister will spit back: No. No more reaching out. You’ve been reached out to enough.

They, being the victims of this nightmare, will call this period the Great Butchering and, lo, Osborne shall be known as The Tiny Wee Butcher. “Cameron” will be a name whispered in hushed tones and babies, assuming babies are still born which, let’s face it, shouldn’t be taken for granted considering the Great Butchery to come, will no longer be called David. People already called David will change their names to Saddam, just to escape the terrible, terrible stigma of being associated with The Evil One.

Yes, dark times are indeed ahead. It’s been nice knowing you all. I’m going to go stick my head in a bucket and wait for Labour to come back in to save us all.

Mind you, the public sector, at the end of the parliament, will still 5.5 million strong. It will still be hoovering up a huge chunk of the country’s wealth for many, many decades to come. In fact, there’ll still be more public sector workers by the time the Coalition is through with their cuts than there were in 1997.

Once again the Coalition is caught looking like right bastards whilst, in reality, actually doing very little at all, except that we’ll now be paying more money for even less. Perhaps I really do need that bucket, after all.

Good old Alan Johnson. He’s proposed that an alternative to cutting spending is putting up taxes – well, duh, I mean, that is the alternative. But, don’t be worried about your bank balance: He doesn’t want to increase taxes on ordinary people.

That’s alright then. Hands up if you’re extraordinary? Anyone? There’s a bigger tax bill with your name written on it if you stick your hand up. No? Are you sure?

Ordinary. Normal. Only in the world of politics can someone boast about being ordinary, about how absolutely not-unusual they are, how completely lacking in any quality that makes them different from other people. In fact, only in the world of politics is it ever possible to be the same as other people at all. It’s not just appealing to the lowest common denominator – it’s appealing to a lowest common denominator that doesn’t actually exist. There is no normal. There is no ordinary. Everyone’s a freak. Being a freak, being weird – that’s as close to ‘normal’ as you can actually get.

Don’t they teach children that everyone’s different? Haven’t I been made to go on lots of ridiculous diversity training courses to hammer home the point that difference is good, that diversity makes us stronger?

I tend to believe it does, as it happens. (That doesn’t mean to say I support quota systems or affirmative action – the ‘problem’ of stereotyping and prejudice comes not regarding people as individuals. More collectivism is the last thing we need.) Labour, Alan Johnson’s party, swears blind that it does. They passed laws to that effect. Diversity is The Future. It is our best chance of survival – diversity and difference give us the best chance of finding the ideas and solutions that will get us through the problems round the corner.

It’s actually one of the rare point of agreement between myself and Labour, even if my personal creed dictates that it’s freedom for individuals to think for themselves and explore and push back boundaries that really matters.

So diversity is good, right? So why do these same politicians still invoke, “normal” as their highest selling point, their greatest virtue?

It’s almost like they’re saying one thing and doing another.

But, obviously, when Alan Johnson says “ordinary” what he’s really talking about is income and wealth. Diversity is great, but only on the stuff that doesn’t matter. The stuff that does substantively matter – income, wealth, intelligence, creativity, entrepreneurialism and the willingness and desire to take risks – these are differences to be crushed, fault lines to be exploited at the ballot box, social dividing lines for accumulating power.

It’s cynical and destructive, yes – and in my mind anti-humanity – but sadly when it comes to British politics such things are, well, quite ordinary.

If there’s one thing the last few days have taught me, it’s that it’s perfectly okay to cut public spending so long as:

• No-one loses their job
• No-one loses a ‘service’ or subsidy
• No-one has to pay more for something they previously got cheaper or for free
• It doesn’t cause any sort of short, medium or long term negative impact on the economy.

Just to be clear, that means it’s never, ever, ever okay to cut public spending. If you absolutely have to – say for example that spending is far beyond what you can claw back in tax… let’s call it a ‘deficit’… then what do you do?

Borrow more? It’s taxpayers that have to pay back the debt, with interest. Put taxes up again? The question becomes who should be taxed, and how do you get them to pay, and exactly how much can you extract from people before they actually protest?

It’s almost as if there’s…. wow… like no easy answers. Except there is an easy answer: Cut spending. At least, that would be an easy answer if it wasn’t some sort of social taboo to even considering the idea. Especially if the name of your party rhymes with “Rory”, in which case you’re especially not allowed to consider cuts, cos, you know, you’re doing it for fun because you’re evil.

But consider: Say I steal £1 off 100 people and give you the £100. Should I do it a second time? Apparently refusing to do it a second time is a greater crime, because I’m denying you £100 that you’re now expecting. The poor suckers who are losing the £1? It’s only £1 isn’t it? Hardly worth getting in a flap over.

If they knew how much you really really needed that money, they’d be happy to cough up, right?

See, whilst many (most of them apparently on Twitter) are psychologically able to ignore, or excuse, or basically discount altogether the taking money from people bit of public spending, there are some of us that just can’t.

One day it occurs to ask the question, “What exactly gives them the right to help themselves to whatever they want?” and the answer turns out to be because they can. Then you get a bit angry and frustrated, feel almost entirely helpless then, just to make things that little bit worse, everyone else in the world comes and slaps you in the face for even daring to consider such heretical notions.

The taking from me bit doesn’t count. I don’t matter. It’s the no longer giving bit that counts. Think about how people feel! Think about all the things they could do with that money, or that job, or learn from those people or achieve with the support of those others! Don’t you understand? Have you no feelings?

Apparently not. I just keep thinking, “But it’s not your money. How can you live with yourselves taking it?”

Then I wonder how we got into the sort of situation were people feel they have to take the money, that their need is moral justification enough. Is our economy really so pathetic and broken that people are reduced to state sponsored beggary? Perhaps it might be an idea to start thinking more about root causes and genuine solutions than ‘firefighting’ our woes away at the expense of the future.

N.B I’m not a Lib Dem or a Tory. Thank you.

Am currently working on my CV and putting together a portfolio/demo website. In other words, needs must etc.

Blogging. It’s great, but it doesn’t pay the bills. Sadly.

Meh