NEWSLETTER ARCHIVE
"GET YOUR TAX MONEY BACK BY ROBBING FROM A CATHOLIC COLLECTION PLATE"
* * POPE STUFF - YEAH, BIG SURPRISE THERE
* * QUESTION - CONFESS YOUR AWFUL DRUGGY WAYS
* * VIDEO - TOURETTE'S GUY SINGS ERASURE
"IF YOU'RE NERVOUS ABOUT YOUR FIRST PORN SHOOT JUST IMAGINE EVERYONE NAKED"
* PRODUCTS - AN "AIDS" BABY BIB
* CATS - IN THEIR OWN MINI VILLAGE
* SHAUN RYDER - ON HOLIDAY
"WE'RE NOT READING BLAIR'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY...TOGETHER"
* DIRTY - CASSETTEBOY VS. DRAGONS' DEN
* DANGEROUS - SHEEP VS. DECK CHAIR
* PLASTIC - HOMELESS PEOPLE VS. CREDIT CARDS
"GREEN BIN FOR CARDBOARD, BLUE BIN FOR CATS"
* OWLS - WITH HANGOVERS
* COWELL - WITH A SMILE
* TWAT - WITH A GUN
"RIP MONSTER TRUCK"
* EXPERIMENTS - HUMAN VS RAT!
* ENLIGHTENMENT - BY LOOKING AT, ERR, YOU'LL SEE
* READ IT - ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE
"B3TA TALKS TO BRIAN BLESSED"
* BRIAN BLESSED - WE TALK TO HIM!
* SHOUTING - OUR EARS ARE BLEEDING
* DID WE MENTION - BRIAN BLESSED?
"NAOMI CAMPBELL UPSET AT GAINING 3 STONES OVERNIGHT"
* ROCKY - OFFICIAL B3TA CAT VIDEO
* SNAILS - WITH PAINTINGS ON THEIR BACKS
* PETER SERAFINOWICZ - INTERVIEWED BY B3TANS
"MAKING A PIG'S VAGINA OF IT"
* FEAR - SEX-MAD ANNE ROBINSON
* GLOWING - GLOWSTICK TOILET
* CUTE - BABY COSTUMES
* CONFUSED - OUR DEMOGRAPHIC
"PRINCE PHILLIP HAS HIS INVITE TO THE BNP'S BARBEQUE WITHDRAWN"
* SONG - DAVE THE FRIDGE
* LIES - IN ONLINE DATING. SURELY NO!
* SURFING - ON TARPS
"RIP HAROLD SHIPMAN, YOU LEGEND"
* OVERDOSE - A DAY OF ATARI 2600
* JEDI CAT - WITH A LIGHTSABER
* KARAOKE - JEWEL SINGS JEWEL
"SOMEONE SHOULD START A PETITION TO BAN FOOTBALL FROM VUVUZELA CONCERTS"
* KUNT VID - "I WAS PISSED OUT OF MY HEAD!"
* DOGS - WIPING THEIR BOT-BOTS FOR YOU
* KITTENS - CHASING STRING, CAUGHT ON CAMERA!
"NOT AS POSH AS THE TIMES, BUT AT LEAST IT'S FUCKING FREE"
* CARTOON - STEPHEN FRY!
* SURPRISE - NINJA CAT ATTACK
* COCKS - ON LADY CELEBS
"THE NEWSLETTER THAT GETS A WORSE RECEPTION THAN AN IPHONE 4"
* SEXY BOOBS - YOU WILL BE VERY AROUSED
* CUTE - KITTEN RIDING TORTOISE
* YOUR NEW PET - THE IMMORTAL DOG
"IN THE TIME IT TAKES TO READ THIS, SOMEONE ELSE WILL HAVE BECOME A 'SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT'"
* NOISE - VUVUZELA REMOVER
* INTERVIEW - RICHARD HERRING TALKS TO B3TA
* BP - COFFEE SPILL
SOMETHING SOMETHING FOOTBALL LOL!
* TROUSERS - NO HANDS PANTS DANCE
* HORROR - CHINCHAP I LOVE YOU
* TONGUES - CUTE ANIMALS STICK THEM OUT
"IT'S CHRISSSSTTMASSSSS!!!"
* PRINTER - MADE OF LEGO!
* BORIS - MAYOR OF LONDON BOUNCY DANCE TRACK
* PICS - IN THE CREATIONIST MUSEUM
"THE ONE YOU READ WHILE PRETENDING IT'S THE WAITROSE NEWSLETTER #MIDDLECLASSNIGHTMARES"
* VEITCH - MAKES US LAUGH DESPITE OURSELVES
* QUIZ - ON BOOKS. YOU LOVE BOOKS.
* QUESTION - WHAT PROFESSIONS DO YOU HATE THE MOST?
"THIS WEEK CONTAINING AN ASCII PIC OF MOHAMMED"
* ANIM - THE HORN OF BUNTY
* ABC - FOR GEEKS
* MUSIC - TOY TRUMPET VIRTUOSO
"YOU DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS NEWSLETTER BUT HERE IT IS ANYWAY"
* VID - FLIP FLOPS
* COSTUME - DEATH STAR
* ANIMALS - RIOT DOG
"A GOOD DAY TO BURY BAD NEWS"
* HEADLINES - SOMETHING ABOUT KITTENS! LOL!
* MORE STUFF - PROBABLY A QUESTION THING
* EVEN MORE - MAYBE COMEDY RUDE VEGETABLE. ROFL.
"B3TA REFUSES TO APOLOGISE FOR CALLING ALL DAILY MAIL READERS BIGOTS"
* MARLON BRANDO - BUTTER THE DEVIL YOU KNOW
* GOSH - EVERYBODY DRAW MOHAMMED DAY
* QUESTION - TELL US ABOUT YOUR NEMESIS
"WE BET THE TABLOIDS ARE REALLY HOPING SOMEONE THROWS AN EGG AT NICK CLEGG."
* * CRAP OLD WEBSITES - MOCKED FOR YOUR PLEASURE
* * HITLER - BUY A PRINT ON AMAZON
* * SOME SHIT POLITICAL JOKES - ...THAT'LL DATE BADLY
"CHIROPRACTORS ARE BOGUS SPINE WIZARDS, SUE US IF YOU DARE"
* * STUPID FIGHT - WHO'S GOT THE DUMBEST FOLLOWERS?
* * CUNT! - B3TAN CALLS CAMERON A CUNT ON ITV. YAYS!
* * SOME KIND OF MUSIC QUIZ THING - YES, BELIEVE IT
"PALLBEARERS GO ROUND THE OUTSIDE, ROUND THE OUTSIDE, ROUND THE OUTSIDE"
* * VOTING - WE TEACH YOU VOTER APATHY
* * DAILY MAIL - THIS WEEK'S LOVE LETTER IS A QUIZ
* * RICHARD MADELEY - UTTERLY MASHED UP FOR YOU
"I WAS SUCKING OFF THIS BIRD LAST NIGHT WHEN I THOUGHT, 'WAIT A MINUTE...'"
* QUIZ - 80S TV QUIZ MEGAMIX
* SONG - THE AXOLOTL SONG
* QUESTION - ARE YOU PREJUDICED?
"MAY CONTAIN JOKES ABOUT THE BUDGET, BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ECONOMICS"
* AWKWARD - ROB'S FOOTBALL SONG
* IGNORANT - YOUR TALES OF NAIVETY
* INCEST - IN STAR WARS
"MAKE $$$S FAST - HOLD DOWN SHIFT+4"
* * SONG - HOME TAPING IS KILLING MUSIC
* * VID - CHATROULETTE IMPROV SONG
* * PROCRASTINATION - MAYBE LATER
"DON'T FORGET TO PUT YOUR CLOCKS FORWARD THIS WEEKEND!!"
* INSANITY - CYRIAK'S LOOPS
* JOY - BOOBIES & KITTENS
* NOSTALGIA - GIF HEAVEN
"IF YOU ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY VIEWING THIS NEWSLETTER, VIEW IT ONLINE HERE: HTTP://TINY.CC/BY2YP"
* VIDEO - JOEL MAKES A BACON ROCKET
* HOMEOPATHY - AND WHY WE LOVE IT
* QUESTION ON GINGERS - GOES BADLY
"AND THEN GOD CREATED SATURN... AND HE LIKED IT, SO HE PUT A RING ON IT. "
* CARTOON - VAGINA DENTATA
* VIDEO - JAMES BOND'S ANNOYING CALLS
* QUESTION OF THE WEEK - GINGERS, OH GOD
"THAT'S RIGHT - ANOTHER WEEK HAS FLOWN BY AND YOU'VE ACHIEVED NOTHING"
* REAL WORLD CHALLENGE - REARRANGE STUFF IN SHOPS
* COOKING - A GUIDE TO MAKING BLACK PUDDING
* NOT FEATURING - PLEASEROBME.COM COZ IT'S EVERYWHERE
"FASHIONABLY LATE FOR ITS OWN FUNERAL"
* SHOUT - MEL GIBSON CUT-UP
* SHRED - COOL POST BOX PRANK
* STAR WARS - WITH THE OSMONDS
"CRASHING INTO YOUR INBOX LIKE A FAULTY TOYOTA"
* PRINTY - ROYAL SEMI-NUDE CALENDAR
* CELEBS - WITH SHORTER LEGS!
* REVIEWS - CRAP APPS!
"HEY YOU, THE ROCK STEADY CREW, SHOW 'EM WHAT TO DO, HAVE A WANK, DO A POO"
* PAIN - MUSICAL SPOCK
* HORROR - THE THING UK
* WINDOWS - 3.1 IN JAVASCRIPT
"STATUS QUO RE-RELEASE ROCKING ALL OVER THE WORLD FOR THE HAITI EARTHQUAKE APPEAL"
* MUSIC - CLUNK-CLICK REMIX
* BIRDS - ROCKING OUT
* VID - DIRTY FRENCH GRAFFITI
"I PUT MY HEAD ON THE FLOOR AND THEN TUMBLE FORWARDS. THAT'S HOW I ROLL"
* SONG - THE INTERNET IS MADE OF CATS
* QUACKS - CELEBTASTIC BEN GOLDACRE BONUS BIT
* NSFW - ENTIRELY RUDE SECTION
"I'M WEARING A BLUE BRA LOL"
* ANIM - FAST-PACED SKETCH SHOW
* VINTAGE - PAST-TIMES PRINT ADS
* MASHUP - USHER AND A GOAT
"RIP TELETEXT. YOU WERE LIKE THE INTERNET IF IT WAS BOUGHT FROM A POUND SHOP."
* ADVICE - HOW TO CURE THE SHITS WITH BISTO
* SHIT LOLS - BEST XMAS FUNNY NAME EVER. PROMISE.
* SCHADENFREUDE - WHAT A DIFFICULT WORD TO SPELL
"I'M JOSEF FRITZL AND NO WINDOWS WAS MY IDEA."
* VIDS - HAVE A HIBBETTY CHRISTMAS!
* PUNS - ARE MIGHTIER THAN THE SWEDE
* NEIGHBOUR HATE - PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WIFI
"I'VE FINISHED ALL THE CHOCOLATES IN MY ADVENT CALENDAR; WHY THE FUCK ISN'T IT CHRISTMAS?"
* WORLDFACE - LIKE FACEBOOK BUT WITH COUNTRIES
* KUNT - HE'S BACK WITH 'WANK FANTASY'
* CHERYL COLE - OUR NEW TWITTER FRIEND
"FREE TEXT FILE INSIDE"
* BOOZE - 100 SHOTS IN 100 MINS
* SONG - DEAR MANDY
* STAND UP - YOUR CHANCE TO DO SOME COMEDY
"TEA IS FOR MUGS"
* LOVE - JOEL LOVES BEN GOLDACRE
* PAWN - CATS FOR GOLD
* VID - BEST BATMAN SPOOF EVER
"U SHOULD MAKE ALL THE LINKS IN THE 404 NEWSLETTER GO TO 404 PAGES. LOL"
* SCARY - MAN DRESSED AS BAT
* SPACKY - 2-FRAME ANIMATIONS
* QUIZ - WITH QUIZIPEDIA
"WE POSTED THIS NEWSLETTER THREE WEEKS AGO! BLOODY ROYAL MAIL."
* * CUTE - SLEEPY THINGS REALLY ARE THE BEST
* * RUBBISH TOWNS - ALL YOUR NOMINATIONS IN FULL
* * CHALLENGE - CAN YOU FAKE HISTORY?
"JEFFREY DAHMER JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHAT A BABOON MIGHT TASTE LIKE."
* PHOTOS - ANGRY PEOPLE IN LOCAL NEWSPAPERS
* QUESTION - YOUR HORRID FETISHES
* ANNOUCING - SICKIPEDIA COMEDY NIGHT
"NICK GRIFFIN MAY WELL BE A HORRID RACIST BUT AT LEAST HE IS NOT BLACK"
* FACT - AD CREATIVES ARE TWATS
* MICROSOFT - EVERYBODY LOVES REDMOND
* CHALLENGE - IF CORPORATE LOGOS TOLD THE TRUTH
"YOUR LATEX VAGINA ORDER HAS BEEN DISPATCHED"
* VID - GORDON RAMSEY THROUGH MICROSCOPE
* TOON - AMAZING HORSE
* GIF - EVERY 'UNDER CONSTRUCTION' PIC EVER
"THE SECOND MOST-SEARCHED WORD ON GOOGLE - PRON"
* INTERVIEW - B3TA TALKS TO EOIN COLFER
* SONG - CELEBRATING THE 80S
* VEITCH - SINGS ABOUT LAMB INSTEAD OF PORK
"WHY SHOULD I GO TO SOMEONE'S FUNERAL IF THEY AREN'T GOING TO ATTEND MINE?"
* SONG - LETTER TO LILY ALLEN
* CHALLENGE - HOLLYWOOD PUN PORN FILM TITLES
* QUESTION - YOUR IT SUPPORT TALES OF WOE
"INTERNET DATING: THE ODDS ARE GOOD BUT THE GOODS ARE ODD."
* THIS WEEK:
* * CYRIAK - ON ALAN TITCHMARSH
* * TOP TIP - DOES SEMEN SHOW UNDER UV LIGHT?
* * NEW SECTION - "SHIT INTERNET DRAGONS' DEN"
"WHY IS THERE A MAN IN THE BOTTOM CORNER OF MY TV PLAYING CHARADES?"
* VID - MAN VS GPS
* DATING - WHAT NOT TO SAY ONLINE
* WET OWLS - WELL, JUST ONE
"THE BEST THING AL QAEDA EVER DID WAS RUIN MOBY'S BIRTHDAY"
* * MUSIC - MUSHROOMS ROCK OUT!
* * POOP - FROM BEARS!
* * COCKS - IN UNSETTLING DETAIL!
"NO + ROHYPNOL = YES"
* JOKES - REAL WORLD TESTING
* NERDS - WEEBL'S 8-BIT JAPES
* MUSIC - TERRIBAD 2001
"TITLE TITLE TITLE TITLE"
* * ANIM - WATERMELONS!
* * TWITS - SHIT MY DAD SAYS
* * FASHION - ARSE-WINKERS(TM)
"A G N B. THAT'S BANG OUT OF ORDER."
* HTML - THE SECRETS BEHIND FUJITSU
* BREASTS - MAKING ICE-CREAM FROM HUMAN MILK
* VIDEO - DOLPHIN WEDDING
"READ IT HERE, OR SEE IT IN THE SUN WITH THE TAGS CROPPED OFF"
* * CHALLENGE - MOCK PARLIAMENT AND WIN A LAPTOP
* * CYRIAK - MAKES VID THAT'LL FREAK OUT YOUR CAT
* * ANTHEA TURNER - DOES SHE HAVE A PENIS?
"WHO ELSE'S HEART SKIPS A BEAT WHEN YOUR GIRLFRIEND ASKS TO USE YOUR PC?"
* CATS - KITTEN NEWZ
* DOLLS - ARGOS JADE TRIBUTE
* PRISON - JAILBIRD INVENTIONS
"WE LIKE TO SCARE DEAF PEOPLE BY YAWNING"
* MUSIC - JEREMY CLARKSON BEATBOX
* INTERVIEW - KUNT SPEAKS
* PICS - OBAMA + UNICORNS
"WAS JACKO MURDERED? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHY DIDNT WE THINK OF IT FIRST?"
* VIDEO - LOTS OF KNOB GIFS. WOO-HOO.
* QUIZ - CAN YOU MATCH THE TAGLINE TO THE FILM?
* CHALLENGE - YES, THANK YOU B3TA, MORE KITTENS
"YOU KNOW IT'S A GOOD POO WHEN YOU COME BACK AND YOUR SCREENSAVER'S ON."
* DAVID ICKE - YEP, WE'RE ANNOYING HIM AGAIN
* SPECIAL EFFECTS - YOUR GUIDE TO BEING ACE
* HITLER - NOW ON TWITTER
"SUBJECT LINE CANCELLED DUE TO LACK OF CELEBRITY FATALITIES"
* * VIDEO - KNUT'S TRIBUTE TO JACKO
* * DAILY MAIL - WHAT SHOULD YOU BE SCARED OF NOW?
* * CHALLENGE - DRAW HITLER
"THATCHER - HURRY UP AND DIE SO WE CAN HAVE A NEW IMAGE CHALLENGE"
* * ANIM - JACKO'S SECRET BASEMENT
* * READ - EMAILS FROM AN ASSHOLE
* * VID - "I'M PISSING ON YOUR CAR"
"FARRAH WHO?"
* * MEAT COCKTAILS - THE BACON MEATINI
* * VIDEO - GAMER KID SPAZZ-OUT
* * FUNNY NAME CORNER - SADLY, IT'S BACK
"WIND TURBINES. WE'RE BIG FANS"
* * SONG - I SUCKED OFF A BLOKE
* * TATS - WORLD'S WORST BODY ART
* * DOGS - LILLY ALLEN VS LITTLEST HOBO
"APPEAL: JUST £1 CAN BUY ANOTHER TRIPWIRE FOR THATCHER'S HOUSE"
* LOTTO - HOW MUCH CASH HAVE YOU NOT WON?
* SWEETS - MAD JAPANESE CANDY
* CUTE - ANIMALS WITH CASTS
"THE ROAD TO ORGASM IS LITTERED WITH PITFALLS, GLASSHOPER"
* BOOKY THING - BESTEST COMPUTER GAME CHARACTERS
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - SHATNER, WILLIAM SHATNER
* FUNNY NAME CORNER - IT'S BACK, SORRY
"CARLSBERG DON'T DO ALZHEIMER'S. JUST EXCEEDINGLY GOOD CAKES."
* * VID - CASSETTEBOY VS THE APPRENTICE
* * QUESTION - UNEXPECTED NUDITY
* * TIME HACKS - USING TIME TRAVEL TO BANG LADIES
"ANYONE ELSE NOTICED THAT CARLSBERG DO SOD ALL?"
* LOL 'FAT' CATS - NOPE, NOT WITH ACTUAL CATS
* VEITCH - LION TOASTERS
* NAZIS - ON THE MOON!
"IT'S FRIDAY! GO HOME!"
* VIDEO - TOUCHING TRIBUTE TO PETER ANDRE
* SLOW MOTION - JOEL SLOBBERS FOR LOLS
* ADVERTISING - RIFFING ON 2 GIRLS 1 CUP?
"FREE GURKHA KNIFE FOR EVERY READER!"
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - YEP, B3TA VS TWITTER
* QUESTION - CONFESS YOUR GAMBLING PROBLEMS
* DRIED NASAL MUCUS - BIGGEST SNOTBALL EVER
"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT"
* VEITCH - SINGS 'BAGGER 288'
* QUESTION - ARE YOU TURNING INTO YOUR PARENTS?
* CHALLENGE - HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID ICKE
"HEADS AND KNEECAPS... TRUNCHEON BLOWS... TRUNCHEON BLOWS"
* QUESTION - OUTDOOR SEX?
* CHALLENGE - SHOP THE POLICE
* SONG - FUCKING CUNT CUNT CUNT 2009 REMIX
"WE'RE EVEN LESS BUSY THAN ASHTON KUTCHER"
* VIDEO - DISTURBING STROKES
* CHALLENGE - FLUFFY DISASTERS
* QUESTION - EMBARRASSING FAN MOMENTS
"THURSDAY CANCELLED DUE TO RECESSION"
* ARTY BOLLOCKS - IF ALBUMS WERE PAPERBACKS
* QUESTION - YOUR SHITTY NIGHTCLUB EXPERIENCES
* PHOTOS - DEAD PEOPLE & GIRLS DRESSED AS DALEKS
"NEWSLETTER TO BE REPLACED BY TWITTER FEED LOLS"
* VIDEO - LADY BEARD
* COCK - JOEL GETS HIS OUT
* PRETEND BOOK - I SPOT SCHOOL MISERY
"WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU JANE"
* BULLSHIT - ARE TEH WEBS FULL OF IT?
* KILL BILL - IN 60 SECONDS OR LESS
* GOOGLE - STREETVIEW SIGHTSEEING
"TOO BUSY LOOKING AT HOOKERS ON STREET VIEW TO COME UP WITH A SUBJECT LINE"
* BILL WYMAN - IN THE B3TA NEWSLETTER AT LAST
* TABLOID NEWSPAPERS - ARE STINKY AND SMELL
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - HOW FOOD IS REALLY MADE...
"JADE'S LAST ISSUE"
* * QUESTION - WORST THING YOU'VE DONE WITH A PENIS?
* * MUTATED MONTY - BACK WITH THE MENTALS
* * VEITCH - WANKY SHIT DEMON 2
"B3TA TO MAKE 300 BOARDERS REDUNDANT"
* * SONG - FRED & ROSE
* * LOLS - LOLCLITS. YES.
* * CREDIT - THE CRUNCH VISUALISED
"A LUMP IN YOUR INBOX THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LOOKED AT SOONER"
* * PROPOSAL - MARRY A B3TA LADY!
* * ANIM - KITTEN WARFARE
* * QUESTION - WORST FLATMATES
"ANOTHER WEEK OF OUR PATHETIC LIVES SQUANDERED"
* TOY - THE YOUTUBE DUBBER
* VEITCH - IN FUNNYISH SONG SHOCK
* RETRO GAMING - A RAP TRIBUTE
"TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS NEWSLETTER PLEASE SEND £50 BY PAYPAL"
* TOY - ADD LAUGH TRACKS TO YOUTUBE VIDS
* CHALLENGE - MAKE STUFF INVISIBLE
* WTF - AMISH HACKERS?
"NEWSLETTER CANCELLED DUE TO SNOW"
* WANKKING - WANKY SHIT DEMON LIVES!
* ATHEISTS - MAKE YOUR OWN BUS SLOGAN TOOL
* DAILY MAIL - GOASTE'D! HA!
"CLOSING DOWN SALE: ALL LINKS 50% LESS FUNNY"
* * TOY - KH(AX)N MACHINE SERVES YOU
* * VEITCH - GAS MASK PERVERT SHOCK
* * POINTLESS HEADLINE - EX-PAT SEX-RAT WRECKS FLAT
"THE FIRST BLACK NEWSLETTER IN HISTORY"
* * BAD TRANNIES - DON'T BLAME US
* * CREDIT CRUNCH - YOUR EXPERIENCES
* * NERD JOKES - HOW MANY DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
"LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO QUIT PACKING WATER WINGS"
* * VEITCH - SINGS ABOUT PORK, AGAIN
* * ANIM - DUCKS WITH TITS!
* * CHALLENGE - COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS SHIT
"HE TURNED COLDER, THAT'S WHERE IT EH-EEEEENDS......"
* * VIDEO - "I'M NOT BEING RACIST, RIGHT, BUT..."
* * COOKING - POT NOODLE PASTY
* * PRANK - A DELIBERATELY INACCURATE CALENDAR
"UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER CRAP YOU GET THIS CHRISTMAS, YOU CAN'T SEND THIS BACK"
* * VIDEO TOY - THE AMAZING BENNY HILLIFIER
* * NIGELLA - YOU WANT HER, WE WANT HER ETC ETC
* * QUESTION - ADDICTS CONFESS EVERYTHING
"NOW AVAILABLE IN WOOLWORTHS"
* SONG - VEITCH AND HIS COMMUNIST CHRISTMAS
* CHALLENGE - POOR OLD OLIVER POSTGATE
* PAUL ROSS - CELEBRATED IN PORTRAIT... AT LAST!
"IF A PIG LOSES ITS VOICE, IS IT DISGRUNTLED?"
* EVIL - SNURL FOR CUNTS
* SPASTIC SOCIETY - 1970S XMAS STICKERS
* QUESTION - YOUR AGE-GAP SEX STORIES (EEEP!)
"BURN CALORIES - SET A FATTY ON FIRE"
* * BAM! - IT'S BUTTER AND JAM!
* * CHALLENGE - MAKE B3TA XMAS CARDS
* * FOODY BOLLOCKS - COOKING WITH TOASTERS
"WE'LL ONLY LEAK OUR MAILING LIST FOR COLD HARD CASH"
* * VID - HITLER BNP TANTRUM
* * SONG - PERVERTS ON THE INTERNET
* * ESCAPE - PENGUIN V WHALES
"HOW DOES IT CHANGE MANY DYSLEXICS TO TAKE A LIGHT-BULB?"
* * SELLOTAPE - TESCO VALUE SPIDERMAN
* * VIDEO - WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE IMMOLATED
* * CHALLENGE - THE DAILY MAIL!?
"HITTING YOUR INBOX FOR MERELY A SECOND BEFORE BEING FORWARDED TO OFCOM"
* BOOK (SORT OF) - I SPOT INTERNET HUMOUR
* VIDEO - 2 PUMPKINS 1 VEITCH
* SONG - LET'S TALK ABOUT SACHS BABY
"JONATHAN ROSS AND RUSSELL BRAND PLACED ON SACHS OFFENDERS REGISTER"
* * DIET - LOSE WEIGHT WITH RHYMING FOOD
* * ANIM - THE BEETARD
* * SEASONAL - FRUITY HALLOWEEN
"MIGHT AS WELL READ IT, YOU'RE GONNA GET FIRED ANYWAY"
* BLACK PUDDING - OR IS IT ART?
* VEITCH - ON A SUBJECT CLOSE TO HIS HEART
* VASECTOMY - YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS
"SPINNING ORIENTAL PEOPLE ROUND AND MAKING THEM DISORIENTATED"
* * ART - YOUR PISS-POOR RECREATIONS
* * COMMON PEOPLE - YOUR OPINION MATTERS
* * HEADLINES - MADE YOU LOOK, MADE YOU STARE
"INVESTING IN SPERM BANKS THREE TIMES A DAY"
* SEXY - JOEL STRUTS HIS FUNKY STUFF
* CUTE - TINY BABY DEER
* CLEVER - TAKE ON ME LITERAL VID
"TONY HART CAN'T MASTURBATE NO MORE *CRIES*"
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - CHEER UP TONY HART
* BANKING - LLOYDSHALIFAXTRUSTEESAVINGSBANKOFSCOTLAND
* WEEBL - CAT FACE RETURNS AND POOS EVERYWHERE
"PHONING SAMARITANS AND SAYING 'TALK DIRTY ELSE I'LL KILL MYSELF'"
* ANSWERS - ASK THE INTERNET 'WHICH IS GAYER?'
* HI-FI - PAPER PLATE SPEAKERS
* ANIM - SCREAMING, FLAILING MACHINE
"NOW WHOLLY OWNED... BY LLOYDS TSB"
* * ART - ABU HAMZA COAT HOOK
* * VEITCH - HAS 10,000 COCKS
* * VIDEOS - NEWSLETTER TEAM DO 10 SONGS (!?)
"ARMLESS MAN ENTERS WANKING COMPETITION AND COMES LAST"
* QUESTION - YOUR SOCIAL NETWORKING GAFFES...?
* BEARDS - WHAT DO THEY HIDE?
* RETRO NERDING - A SINCLAIR PHOTO STORY
"WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT IF A SNAKE WAS LIKE A CUDDLY SCARF?"
* * SCIENCE - CHOCOLATE TEAPOT TESTED
* * HAWKING - SPEAKS! FOR YOU!
* * FUNNY NAME CORNER - BIGGER THAN EVER. HOORAY!
"JULIE MOULT IS AN IDIOT"
* DISGUSTING FOOD - DEEP-FRIED PIZZA
* SCARY ANIM - FEAR MZUNGU!
* WEIRD TITLE - REVEALED IN FULL
"ANOTHER SHIT JOKE ABOUT CANCER? OH GOODY!"
* BEN WHEATLEY - INTERVIEWED BY YOU
* STOP MOTION - JOHN CARPENTER TRIBUTE
* LOLS - WORST CAPTCHAS OF ALL TIME
"WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE CONDITION THAT KILLED OFF..."
* * EXPERIMENT - ELECTRIC KETTLE VS. GAS HOB
* * WIN - WRITE A LIMERICK AND NAB JOEL'S ALBUM
* * WEEBL - TRIBUTE TO LADYTRON
"IF YOU DRINK EVERY DAY YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC. THANK GOD WE ONLY DRINK EVERY NIGHT"
* PHOTOS - SYMMETRY FLICKR TOY
* GET RICH QUICK - YOUR GUIDE ON HOW TO DO IT
* VIDEO - REJECTED BOND THEME
"90% OF DOGS IN KOREA ARE INBRED. LIKE IN A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING"
* BATTENBERG SIMULATOR - YOU WANTED IT, YOU GOT IT
* VID - BALLOON FAIL
* NIGELLA LAWSON TOPLESS MILK JUGS - A TITLE TOO GOOD NOT TO MENTION AT THE TOP
"...CHIPS IT IS THEN, SAY PORTUGUESE POLICE"
* * FOOD - THE JAFFEGG
* * PICS - SOUVENIR VS. REALITY
* * SCIENCE - CHEMISTRY VIDS!
"THE INTERNET EQUIVALENT OF A BULIMIC'S INDEX FINGER"
* * SONG - JONTI'S CONTROVERSIAL VIEWS ON GYPSIES
* * RETRO COMPUTING - CRAP CELEBS IN PIXELS
* * ANIMATION - CLEVER LOLLIPOP STICK THINGIE
"ZIMBABWE NEWS - ROBERT MUGABE WINS WIMBLEDON"
* * COOKING - HOW TO MAKE TEA PROPERLY
* * SONG - JONTI SINGS ABOUT HIS SHIT DIET
* * VIDEO - TECHNO CHICKEN
"HELPING FATTIES GET FATTER SINCE 2001"
* * FOOD - SCROLL WHEEL CHEESE
* * SONG - JONTI DECONSTRUCTS CELEBRITY
* * OTHER STUFF - THAT'S MOSTLY QUITE GOOD
"BEATEN INTO 6TH PLACE BY LABOUR"
* * PAIN - SCOTCH EGGS ARE THE CURE
* * VID - DANCING MATT 2
* * ANIM - SHATNER'S COMMON PEOPLE
"GUEST-WRITTEN BY DR RAJ PERSAUD"
* QUIZ - WHO'S YOUNGER?
* JINGLE - IT'S RAINHAM SHEDS!
* OLD PEOPLE - AND THEIR BLOODY USELESS ADVICE
"PANIC BUY PETROL - IT'S ABOUT TO RUN OUT!"
* * QUIZ - HOW MANY CRAP SEQUELS?
* * FACTS - WHAT GLASWEGIAN REALLY EAT
* * SALMON - YE OLDE DISHWASHER TRICK
"B3TA: NO LONGER ON FUCKING FIRE."
* COOKING - SWEETS IN THE BREVILLE
* LEGO - AMY WINEHOUSE IS BRICKING IT
* EVIL PENCILS - EVERYONE LOVES EVIL PENCILS
"KNIFEUS EXPELIARMUS"
* USEFUL - CONVERT CM TO ELEPHANTS
* EVIL - MOBILE PHONE IN MICROWAVE
* FARTING - LIKE ONLY SHATNER CAN
"DANDRUFF: THE POOR MAN'S PARMESAN"
* ANIM - SIMON COWELL
* TUNES - SHUFFLR
* DANCE - RUSSIAN HIP-HOP
"DID EVERYONE IN CHINA JUMP UP AND DOWN AT THE SAME TIME?"
* BOOKS - DID THEY CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
* BANANAS - APPARENTLY THEY LAUGH
* FORKLIFTS - EVERYONE LOVES THEM. MAYBE.
"I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW BUMBLING IDIOT OVERLORD"
* NOSTALGIA - BEACH BOYS V FINGER OF FUDGE
* DANGER - RECREATE TRON ON YOUR BIKE
* CUTE - LOVELY KITTEN SITTING IN A BOWL
"THE SOUND OF MUSIC 2: THE VON TRAPPED FAMILY"
* TOON - CAT FACE 7
* VID - FLAPPY LIPS
* READ - WEIRD WIKIPEDIA
"REDDITCH TO BE LOCATION FOR 'MAN IN A SUITCASE' REMAKE"
* RAP - WHY TEA IS GREAT
* SONG - MADE FROM *REAL* YOUTUBE COMMENTS
* VID - TETRIS THE MOVIE!
"[INSERT UNFUNNY MARK SPEIGHT 'JOKE' HERE]"
* VID - RETRO INTERNET
* PICS - TRAILER TRASH MUGSHOTS
* READ - HUGE STEVE ALBINI 'INTERVIEW'
"HOW TO MAKE MONEY FROM CHILD ABDUCTION. YOUR STEP BY STEP GUIDE"
* VIDEO - I THINK I FANCY BORIS
* QUIZ - YOUTUBE'S SHITTY COMMENTS
* QUESTION - SHARE YOUR PHOBIAS
"WELCOMING THE PAEDOS THAT FACEBOOK BANS"
* * VID - PHILIP SCHOFIELD ON DRUGS
* * GREYBLOKE - GETS GROOMED
* * WEEBL - GUIDE TO BISCUITS
"NOT THE ONLY HOUR YOU'LL LOSE THIS WEEKEND"
* ANIM - CODE CODE CODE
* EVENT - THE 'RICKMOB'
* VID - CARDBOARD TRON
"WE SHAGGED PAUL MCCARTNEY AND ALL WE GOT WAS THIS LOUSY NEWSLETTER"
* ANIMATION - TASTY, TASTY ELECTRICITY
* SHATNER - 'SHOP TREK FOR HIS BIRTHDAY
* FAGS - LOVELY QOTW ON SMOKING
"WE TOLD YOU LAST WEEK ALREADY: IT'S POSITIVE!"
* * COOKING - CURING MEAT IN A CRT
* * CHALLENGE - MAKE GRAPHS TELL YOUR TRUTHS
* * VIDEO - DELIA SMITH COOKS SPAM
"HERE ARE THE RESULTS TO YOUR AIDS TEST"
* * HUMAN ZOO - OLDEST SWINGER IN TOWN
* * CHALLENGE - MAKE NEWSPAPER COMICS FUNNY
* * QUESTION - HOW NERDY ARE YOU?
"YOUR INBOX IS A JERSEY CARE HOME AND WE'RE THE POLICE"
* FOOD - EGGNOG PANCAKES
* QUIZ - GUESS MY CRIME
* LOLS - THINGS WHITE PEOPLE LIKE
"THEY JAILED THE WRONG STEVE WRIGHT!"
* ROYAL FUNNY NAME CORNER - THE QUEEN'S RUDE DOG
* PICS - MEAT PRON FROM GERMANY
* RICKROLLED - ASTLEY'S YOUNGEST FAN
"PIG MEAT - IT'S SNORTY BUT NICE"
* QUESTION - HAVE YOU WITNESSED A CRIME?
* WEEBL - ALIEN RAPIST IN CUPBOARD
* VIDEO - DIY STAR WARS
"IN A MOMENT OF MADNESS I TOOK SEXUAL ADVANTAGE OF THIS NEWSLETTER BUT I DIDN'T KILL IT."
* OMG - COGGY LOLS
* PICS - RAINBOW PUKE
* CHALLENGE - ANIMAL INSTRUMENTS WHIMSY
"WATCH OUT - B3TA'S ABOUT"
* * INTRODUCING... MINI LOLS!
* * CHALLENGE - PYLONS. YES, PYLONS.
* * QUESTION - STALKERS. SHOULD BE GOOD WE THINK.
"SHOWCASING THE AWESOME POWER OF BOREDOM"
* * COTTAGING - EVERYONE'S FAVOURITE TOILET LOLS
* * CHALLENGE - WRONG MAN FOR THE JOB?
* * QUESTION - RAT OUT YOUR BASTARD COLLEAGUES
"LOOKS LIKE WE PICKED THE WRONG WEEK TO QUIT LANDING PRACTICE"
* FACT - PEANUT BUTTER DISPROVES EVOLUTION
* CUTE - FATTEST SQUIRREL EVER
* CHALLENGE - MAPS THAT TELL YOUR TRUTHS
"WRITERS STRIKE HITS NEWSLETTER: NO SUBJECT LINE THIS WEEK"
* VIDEO - CELINE DION FTW, AN UNLIKELY B3TA HERO
* GRAFFITI - ADS GET STUMPED
* QUESTION - SHOPLIFTERS OF THE WORLD CONFESS
"WANTED: NEW PRESENTER FOR CHILDREN'S TV SERIES. MUST LIKE GETTING HANDS DIRTY"
* QUESTION - WE *HEART* POUND SHOPS
* VIDEO - CAT VS SCALEXTRIC
* BLIMEY - DRUNKEN DAD DANCING
"HAPPY EASTER!"
* DIY - HAMPSTER DAVROS DANCE
* CHALLENGE - UNCROPPED ALBUM ART
* QUESTION - "I'M SO DUMB THAT I..."
"IT'S A PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH AND EVERYONE IS COMING"
* BREASTICLES - HOW TO DRAW THEM
* FOOD - BACON BISCUITS
* QUESTION - EVIL PRANKS (SHOULD BE GOOD!)
"A NOT-FOR-PROPHET PUBLICATION"
* SEX - ON CRACK!
* SPORT - THE NEXT ENGLAND MANAGER?
* PORN - WITH 'CELEBRITY' HEADS
"THE KARMA SUTRA FOR THE SINGLE MAN"
* SONG - JONTI SINGS ABOUT PORK
* 'FUNNY' NAME CORNER - ISLE OF MAN MEAT
* SEX SEX SEX - THE WORD SEX WRITTEN THRICE
"NOW WITH 25 MILLION MORE SUBSCRIBERS"
* VIDEO - ELEPHANT DARTS
* QUESTION - B3TA GOES DAILY MAIL
* COMPO - 'SHOP A TRANSFORMER AND WIN A MACBOOK
SUBJECT LINE REMOVED ON LEGAL ADVICE
* DESPERATE WANKS? - DRAWING YOUR OWN PORN? REALLY?
* EARLY CHRISTMAS CARD - YOU'LL NICK THIS IDEA
* VIDEO - RELENTLESS AND SHIT GUITAR HERO GAGS
"THE FAVOURITE READ OF THE TAPAS BAR NINE"
* TRIP - B3TA VISITS IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUM
* QUESTION - ABUSING FREEBIES
* OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE - ANOTHER LOLCATS GAG
"WARNING: YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO CHOIRBOY FISTING MAGAZINE IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE."
* * MENTAL - CYRIAK DOES IT AGAIN
* * QUESTION - YOUR STUPIDEST DARES
* * VIDEO - AT HOME WITH HENRY ROLLINS
"300 NEWSLETTERS? IS THIS MADNESS? NO, THIS. IS. B3333333333333TA!"
* BOOK - COOKING WITH POOH
* HALLOWEEN - DALEK PUMPKIN
* QUESTION MARKS - USED "INAPPROPRIATELY"
"SWIRLY FACE MAN'S FAVOURITE LINKS"
* TOY - CUBICLE FREAKOUT
* FUNNY NAME CORNER - INTRODUCING MISS PUKE
* PHOTOS - SQUISHY SHOE FETISH
"ARTHUR SCARGILL: A BIOGRAPHY OF A MINER CELEBRITY (AND STILL ONLY 55P!)"
* VIDEO - CAT ON TREADMILL
* PORN BLOOPERS - "YOU'VE SPOOGED THE WRONG FACE"
* QUESTION - CONFESS YOUR VOYEURISMS
"AND IT SEEMS TO ME, YOU DIED YOUR DEATH, BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUCKLE IN..."
* TITS - BIZARRE PROSTHETIC MAMMARY FETISH
* JACKO - HALLOWEEN MASK
* CHALLENGE - LADY DIANA, PRINCESS OF HEARTS
"IN UR TEMPL FRAGG1N UR MUNX"
* QUESTION - CONFESS YOUR DIRTY TRADE-SECRETS
* GAME - ALPHABET CLICKY WOO
* TORIES - MP SPUNKING COCK COIN
"THIS IS YOUTUBE MATERIAL!"
* KITTENWAR.COM - THE INTERVIEW YOU DEMANDED!
* WEEBL - HIS CAT IS STILL CALLED 'CAT FACE'
* AMY WINEHOUSE - NOPE, NOT WITH YOURS
"IT'S NOT GAY UNLESS YOU GET HARD TOO"
* QUESTION - YOUR PERSONAL-AD DATING HELL...
* ONE WORD CHALLENGE - ELVIS
* OUCHY OUCHY VIDEO - BUM BRANDING
"POPPING OUT FOR HALF AN HOUR FOR A BITE TO EAT AND TO VALET THE CAR"
* DRAGONS - HAVING SEX WITH CARS
* FEED THE HEAD - BEST FLASH TOY EVER
* QUESTION - YOUR GUILTY SECRETS CONFESSED
"CRASHING THE MERCEDES OF GOOD TASTE INTO THE TUNNEL OF YOUR INBOX"
* QUIZ - KIDDY CELEB PHOTOS
* QUESTION - YOUR GUILTY SECRETS
* LEGO - STEPHEN HAWKING RENDERED IN BRICK
"CELEBRATING 20 YEARS OF BAD AIDS"
* PAIN - TESTICLES VS. CHAMPAGNE CORK!
* FEAR - BRIAN BLESSED RAMPAGE!
* CHIPMUNK - EATING A PEANUT! AWW!
"IT'S OFFICIALLY OK TO DO A POO IN THE BATH IF YOU MUSH IT DOWN THE PLUG-HOLE"
* TEETH - I SEE YOUR DARKIE AND RAISE YOU CHINKY
* VIDEO - BEST MISHEARD LYRIC EVER?
* QUESTION - WHY YOU SHOULD BE FIRED
"MISSED BY YOUR SPAMFILTER"
* WEEBL - A SONG ABOUT BLIMPS!
* VEITCH - JOEL'S NEW VID
* AWWW - CHARLEY THE SPACKER CAT
"MADDIE OR CHIPS?"
* ROY WALKER - SECRET KKK SHAME
* CAKE - JUST LIKE A TARDIS
* CHAIRS - THAT LOOK LIKE COCKS. AS USUAL
"AS USED FOR 'RESEARCH' BY CHRIS LANGHAM"
* HEADLINE - TEASER FOR NEWSLETTER CONTENT
* QUESTION - COUNCIL CUNTS
* WEEBL - MORE CAT FACE FOR CAT FACE FANS
"WE AR IN UR BBC RIGGNG UR COMPOS"
* FOOD - SILKWORM PIZZA
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - EVIL BOOKS FOR KIDDIES
* QUESTION - HAVE YOU DRUNK METHS LIKE US?
"FREE ALAN JOHNSTON"
* VIDEO - BEER BEER BEER
* FOOD - B3TARD EATS PLACENTA
* WEEBL - MORE CAT FACE
"PORKY JOEL SHOWS US HIS TROTTERS"
* VIDEO - RATHERGOOD PORK FIGHT
* CHALLENGE - MAKE STUFF WITH GLUE AND SCISSORS
* QUESTION - YOUR MENTAL RELATIVES
"WELCOME TO SHEFFIELD, TWINNED WITH ATLANTIS"
* SEMEN - B3TAN EATS HIS OWN
* QUESTION - WHY WERE YOU LATE?
* T-SHIRTS - PIXEL HITLERS!
"URBAN TURBAN BAN BANTER"
* VIDEO - BURPY MAN GETS BURPY
* BEEF - WEARING IT AS PANTS
* OJ SIMPSON - WE MANAGED ABOUT 30 PAGES
"DOT COTTON'S DOTCOM COT CON"
* SICKIPEDIA 2.0 - OUCH, NASTY, NASTY STUFF
* CREATIONISM - YAY FOR IMAGE CHALLENGES
* QUESTION - WORSE SEX EVER
"FIND MADDIE AND WIN AN IPOD NANO!"
* GOATSE - BOARDER 'GOATSES' THE BBC
* HAIR - GAYER HAIR
* TASTY TOSS - THE CUM CHALLENGE
"SISTER NEWSLETTER OF 'THE RANCID EGG APPRECIATION SOCIETY NEWSLETTER'"
* PISS - WHAT COLOUR IS YOURS?
* SHOPPY - BUY OUR T-SHIRTS, MAKE PEP RICH
* QUIZZY - KIDS' TV THEMES
"HOW TO TELL WHERE YOUR CAT HAS BEEN BY SMELLING ITS BREATH."
* EBAY - WILL YOU BUY A B3TARD A CAR?
* IMAGES - CLASSICAL ART, MODERNISED
* VIDEOS - YOUTUBE RAPES SCHMIDEO SECTION
"IT'S THE TENANTS FRED WEST REJECTS THAT MAKES FRED WEST THE BEST"
* VIDEO - SILENT STAR WARS MOVIE
* QUESTION - WORST DINNER YOU'VE COOKED
* PUBES - DYE YOUR GREY PUBES, MRS ROBINSON
"CUT OUT MY EYES, I'VE BOUGHT A GUIDE DOG!"
* * MAPS - RUDE PLACE NAMES 2.0
* * AMAZON - RICHARD LITTLEJOHN VANDALISM CHALLENGE
* * GRAFITTI - BESTEST QOTW EVAH!!!1111
"INTERNATIONAL FACE AIDS DAY"
* COMPO - WIN A BOOK! YES, A WHOLE FUCKING BOOK!
* QUESTION - BEST VANDALISM EVER
* PHOTOS - YUMMY! IT'S A COCK BREAKFAST
"TEH TIMES LITTERARRY SUPPLEMENT"
* HORSES - DATE THEM ONLINE
* SONG - USE MY ARSEHOLE AS A CUNT
* STUFF - YES, NEWSLETTER FEATURES STUFF SHOCK
"SEE YOU LATER MASTURBATOR - IN A WHILE PAEDOPHILE"
* VIDEO - DOG SHAGS CAT
* WEEBL - NEW TOON
* MATHS - WANKING ADDICTION MEASURED IN KITTENS
"IF SHE TELLS YOU HER AGE AND USES A FRACTION. SHE'S TOO YOUNG."
* HITLER - HE'S BACK AND HE'S DANCING
* TONY BLAIR - MILK OBSESSED PERVERT
* FAMOUSR - WHO'S MORE FAMOUS?
"OUR INNER PAEDOPHILE FUCKING YOUR INNER CHILD"
* * HEROIN - COOK-UP SOME PANCAKES
* * INTERVIEW - ADAM BUXTON
* * MINCE - NOW AN ALPHABET
"THE BEST OF NUTS"
* GAME - SHOOT JONTI IN THE FACE
* VIDEO - TIME-LAPSE THINGIE
* QUIZ - SOMETHING ABOUT EATING FEET SKIN
"MUSLIM MARTYRS: YOUR INSTRUCTIONS FOR BOMBING THE INFIDELS"
* BACON - PORK ALARM CLOCK
* QUESTION - CONFESS YOUR HYGIENE ISSUES
* VIDEO - BUKKAKE MILK
"GET YOUR COCK OUT, IT'S FRIDAY"
* * MUSIC - FREE (ALTHOUGH NOT LEGAL) MP3S FOR ALL
* * GAME - ROTATEY FLICKR THINGIE
* * WEEBL - JONTI RAGS ON GINGERS
"RED NOSE DAY - ILLEGAL??""
* VIDEO - POSTMAN PAT, DRUG DEALER
* INVESTIGATION - CLOTHES TAGS
* QUESTION - PICKY EATERS (WORTH A READ)
"TRANNY OR GRANNY"
* QUIZ - GRANNY OR TRANNY
* COOKING - VEITCH COOKS PIGS TROTTERS
* VID - WHEATLEY KILLS FRIENDS MUM WITH BRICK
"DRILLED BEEFS!"
* CHALLENGE - BEN GOLDACRE, CELEBRITY JUDGE
* WEEBL - DJ PIE SAFETY
* MUSIC - NIRVANA ON 45
"NOT FREE AS IN BEER, FREE AS IN AIDS"
* BUKAKKE - WATCH THE VID. NO, REALLY
* PHOTOSHOPS - POO 'DOCTOR' GETS IT B3TA STYLE
* MOOPHONE - JOEL & ROB IN SELL-OUT AD NON-SHOCK
"LEAVES YOUR BREATH, NESCAFE FRESH"
* STUFF - POSSIBLY ABOUT KITTENS
* NONSENSE - SOME REFERENCES TO WANKING
* BOLLOCKS - YEP, IT'S THE B3TA NEWSLETTER
"DOWNLOAD OUR SICK JOKE BOOK FOR FREE. YES, FREE. THANKS B3TA"
* SICK JOKE BOOK - DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE. THANKS!
* QUIZ - POP-STARS' FIRST NAMES. CAN YOU GUESS?
* COKE - JOEL SCORES BILLIONS FROM LEGALS
"WHY HAS SHILPA NOT APOLOGISED FOR 9/11?"
* RUDE ROUTERS - A SUB 'THAT'S LIFE' FEATURE
* AUSTRALIAN MPS - OUR FAVOURITE QUOTES
* WIKIDEATH - YOU KILLED 'EM, WE PRINT 'EM
"THE BEST B3TA NEWSLETTER SO FAR THIS YEAR"
* GAME - DEATH TO SHEEPS!
* PHOTOS - B3TA READER INFECTED TONSIL PICS
* DINNER - CHEESE AND PINEAPPLE SMOOTHIE. YUM
"INSERT NAWTY NEWSLETTER TITLE HERE"
* MYSTIC MEG - SHE TALKS BOLLOCKS. PROOF.
* BEES - HOW TO KILL THEM
* Y2K - ARE YOU PREPARED?
"YOUR 'TRAMPVENT' CALENDAR"
* VIDEO - RETURN OF ARSONIST SAM
* COKE - ARE THEY RIPPING OFF RATHERGOOD.COM?
* SHIT - LOTS OF FECAL STORIES
"ONLY 16 WANKING DAYS LEFT TO JIZZMAS"
* AUTO SLASH FICTION - FOR YOUR WANKING PLEASURE
* VEITCH - DOES HIS ANIM THING FOR BABY CHARITY
* GOATSE - MICROSOFT GOATSED. YAY
"HEIL HONEY, I'M HOME"
* * HIPPOS - MORE HIPPOS THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT
* * VOTE - BILL GATES FOR PRESIDENT?
* * RANT - WHY KEYBOARDS ARE SHITE
"A SMIDGEN OF PIGEON IS JUST ENOUGH TO GIVE YOUR KIDS A TREAT, FULL OF PIGEONY GOODNESS UNTIL IT'S TIME TO EAT"
* QUESTION - TELL US YOUR DEBT WOES
* JIMMY SAVILE - IS HE DEAD YET?
* MUSIC - DIANA, THE MUSICAL
"BLAND NEWSLETTER TITLE"
* ART - USE YOUR ZX81 TO MAKE BEAUTIFUL PICS
* JESUS TEST - ARE YOU MORE POPULAR THAN HIM?
* COMPETITION - WIN SOME RATHERGOOD BOOTY
"JESUS CHRIST'S COCK UP THE VIRGIN MARY'S ARSE"
* SWEARING - NOW WITH SPARKLERS
* FOOD - A DOG DINNER. LITERALLY
* TATTOOS - OH YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK, REALLY
"A LOAD OF TOSS-BOLLOCKS FOR YOU TO STICK IN YOUR BROWSER-CUNTS"
* INTERVIEW - AMBULANCE MAN TALKS
* WEEBL - FUCK ME, IT'S MAGICAL TREVOR 4
* TESCOS - DIY TASER
"BUY OUR BOOK, ELSE WE'LL SHIT THROUGH YOUR LETTERBOX"
* * BOOK - BUY THE B3TA BOOK YOU HAM-TOUCHERS
* * QUESTION - HOW WE DIDN'T LOSE OUR VIRGINITY
* * GEEKY GAME - ROSES ARE #FF0000...
"MEAT SPECIAL. NO SECRET VEGETARIAN SUBTEXT AT ALL."
* MEAT - FERTILISED EGGS
* MORE MEAT - WHAT DOES CAT FOOD TASTE LIKE?
* BONUS GRATIS MEAT - COOKING A PIGS HEAD
"DON'T GOOGLE FOR MEATOTOMY"
* MASH-UP - X-RATED HARRY POTTER
* RATHERGOOD - SOME BOLLOCKS ABOUT TITS
* MEAT CORNER - YOUR NEW FAVOURITE B3TA SECTION
"YOUR WEEKLY BARRAGE OF FILTH"
* VID - LONDON TO BRIGHTON IN 2 MINUTES
* FASHION - BABY TOUPEES
* FUNNY NAMES - HIGH TREE SPACKERS AND MORE
"STINKY LINKY FROM OUR PINKY WINKY"
* GAME - SHAG, MARRY OR KILL?
* FLICKR - PRINT YOUR PHOTOS AS BUSINESS CARDS
* GOOD NEWS! - MESSAGE FROM JESUS
"STICK THIS IN YOUR LINK HOLE AND SMOKE IT"
* VID - RAINBOW REMIXED
* SITE - GIVE ME BACK MY GOOGLE
* URL HACK - THETECHGAYS.COM
"PRETTY, WITTY, DINKLE DITTY"
* * SONG - ABOUT A PENIS
* * VID - GEORGE MICHAEL SEX-CHANGE SHOCKER
* * IRWIN - THE 'WEEBL' TRIBUTE
B3TA BEST OF THE YEAR... SO FAR
* LINKS - BEST B3TA STUFF OF 2006 SO FAR...
* QUESTION - DIY FASHION DISASTERS
* IMAGE CHALLENGE - DEMOTIVATIONAL POSTERS
"ARE YOU A 'BIF' OR A 'TARDIS'?"
* PONG - UPDATED FOR THE 21ST CENTURY, FINALLY
* NUTTERS - KATE BUSH'S MADDEST FAN
* QUESTION - ARE YOU A SEX OFFENDER?
"YOUR OFFICIAL ANTI-SNAKESPLOITATION NEWSLETTER"
* PANTS - BLOKE WEARS 43 PAIRS FOR B3TA
* NOEL EDMUNDS - MONG NOISE REMIX AHOY
* RECORD STORE CATS - THE 'OFFICIAL' SITE
"IF WE HAD A SPOON FOR EVERY READER, WE'D LIVE LIKE A SPOON KING"
* VIDEO - BO 'HE-MAN' RHAPSODY
* WEEBL - FROSTIES AD REMIX
* INTERVIEW - MADDOX / BEST PAGE IN THE UNIVERSE
"YOU ARE OUR FAVOURITE READER. GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK"
* * VID - EXPLOSIONS WITHOUT GUNS
* * QUESTION - INTENSE FRIENDSHIPS (READ IT!)
* * PROTEST - THE WEB UNITES AGAINST TWATS
"IT RHYMES WITH GITA. AS IN SANJAY AND GITA"
* * B3TA BOOK - PREORDER ON AMAZON NOW
* * FOOD - EEK! IT'S THE MEAT CAKE
* * VIDEO - MOTORBIKE + KIDDY ROUNDABOUT = BLIMEY
"PEPTO-BISMOL ICE CREAM - YUMMY"
* HIDDEN MESSAGES - TV AD SECRET JEW HATE
* TATTOO - BLOKE WITH 'STUPID' ON HEAD
* ANGRY - ROLF HARRIS SEAL PROTEST
"HORRID LINKS, TORRID TALES, FLORID PROSE"
* * VID - WORLD'S BIGGEST DOMINOES?
* * STORIES - "I HURT MY RUDE BITS"
* * FUNNY NAMES AGAIN - THIS ONE'S A GOATSE!
"OPENING THIS NEWSLETTER WILL MAKE YOU GAY"
* * ANIM - BEASTENDERS
* * QUESTION - LIES YOU'VE TOLD ON YOUR CV
* * VIDEO - WHEN ELEPHANT SEALS WAKE
"TOO MUCH GREAT STUFF TO POSSIBLY SUM UP IN ONE LINE OF PUNCHY COPY"
* EXPLODE - AEROSOL BALLOON BOMB
* WEEBL - HAS A GOOD WANK
* NAZIS - HUGO BOSS FASHION SHOCK
"WILL THIS SUBJECT LINE PERSUADE YOU TO OPEN THIS EMAIL? CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT"
* MAGNETS - NUTTER STICKS THEM IN HIS FINGERS
* PRODUCT - FAKE BOLLOCKS FOR YOUR CAT
* VIDEO - UNDERWATER AIR-RINGS
"CHEAP LAUGHS AND TAWDRY LINKS SINCE 2001"
* CHALLENGE - NEW ROAD SIGNS
* HUH? - ASCII-ART 1940S STYLE
* BOOK - 'WHO CARES ABOUT DISABLED PEOPLE?'
"WE CAN CONTAIN OUR LOVE FOR RUSSELL CROWE NO LONGER"
* RIMJOBS - YAY OR NAY?
* CHALLENGE - MAKE TORY PROPAGANDA
* VIDEO - NOEL EDMONDS - SPAZ HATER
"MAKING PAUL DANIELS PARANOID, EVERY FRIDAY, FOR FIVE YEARS"
* SHEDS - BEST HOME IMPROVEMENT EVER
* STALKING - PAUL DANIELS ON EBAY
* CHALLENGE - PLEASE DON'T SUE US, TOM CRUISE
"BEST SUBJECT LINE IN THE WORLD... EVER!"
* * SONG - BIG BALL RAP
* * QUESTION - WORST NICKNAMES EVER
* * WIN A FLAT - SCAM OR SMART MARKETING?
"8===W=) IS ASCII FOR WANKING"
* VIDEO - PETER COOK AS A PG TIPS CHIMP
* ANIM - DIANA'S LIFE IN 10 SECONDS
* PHOTOS - SHITE TATTOOS
"CUTTING OFF OUR BOLLOCKS TO SPITE OUR COCK"
* * CHALLENGE - POP-UP ADS YOU WOULD CLICK
* * ANIM - JONTI EATS CRABS
* * TOY - GOOGLE TRENDS
"THIS SUBJECT LINE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CONTENT"
* SEAN CONNERY - SHIT V/O SHOCK
* GAME - QWERTY DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION
* JOKES - INTRODUCING THE SICKIPEDIA
"SCAMMING BLUE PETER FOR A BADGE. YEP. IT'S THAT LOW."
* COCKS - MADE OF CLAY
* SCAM - UNDESERVED BLUE PETER BADGES
* JOHN LENNON - WHAT A FUCKING SPACKER
"LOTS AND LOTS OF STUFF THAT YOU'LL WANT TO CLICK ON AND IT'S VERY GOOD"
* SONG - INTERNET IS EVVVVIIIILLLLL
* ANIM - RUSSEL CROW GETS HIS COCK OUT
* KITTENWAR BOOK - MAKE YOUR KITTEN FAMOUS
WHAT'S ORANGE AND LOOKS GOOD ON A HIPPY?
* QUESTION - MENTAL TEENAGE PARTIES
* PICS - BABY VS BABY
* VIDEO - 12 MINUTES OF JAPANESE HEATH-ROBINSON
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE TELL A JOKE, I'M BLIND!"
* QUESTION - BEST HECKLES EVER (READ THIS)
* COMPO - STRUT YOUR STUFF FOR WEEBL
* BONUS FEATURE - FAKE SEX BITS
"ROLL YOUR OWN TAMPONS"
* REPORT - DIY TAMPONS TESTED
* REMIX - KERSAL MASSIVE
* SEX - B3TA PIN-UP OF THE WEEK
"KNOB CASTING"
* ART - LADY WANTS PLASTER CAST YOUR PENIS
* RAVE - CORONATION STREET STYLEE
* VIDEO SCHMIDEO - IT'S OUT OF CONTROL
"HOW DO YOU GET A ONE ARMED IRISHMAN OUT OF A TREE?"
* QUESTION - EVER MET A WEIRDO ON THE INTERNET?
* SICK JOKE BOOK - WE HAVE PUBLISHER
* WEB 2.0 - BACKLASH AHOY
"WHY DOES DOCTOR PEPPER COME IN A BOTTLE?"
* CHALLENGE - IF THE ROMANS BUILT THE INTERNET
* PHOTOS - ROVING B3TA REPORTER SPECIAL
* VIDEOS - VIDEO, FUCKING LOADS OF IT.
"B3TA PEOPLE PROJECT SPECIAL. COUNT THEM! TEN! BLIMEY!"
* VID - KURDT KOBAIN IN 10 SECONDS
* RESTAURANT WATCH - RUDE NAMES INTERNATIONAL
* QUIZ - PAPIST OR RAPIST
"HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SACKED?"
* FOOD - ALL THE MACARONI CHEESES. TESTED
* TOY - QUESTION SWAP
* QOTW - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SACKED?
"NO WANKING IN THE SHOWERS"
* TOY - SWAP YOUR DRAWINGS WITH OTHERS
* COKE - HOW MUCH DOES YOUR MP LOVE IT?
* PASTA SHAPES QUIZ - CAN YOU TELL WHAT THEY ARE?
"DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK. WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS. ROCKIN OUR PEERS AND PUTTIN SUCKAS IN FEAR."
* * VIDEO - ARSON SAM
* * GAME - MILK THE GIRAFFE
* * QUESTION - HAS GOOGLE RUINED YOUR LIFE?
"SICK JOKE BOOK / THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH"
* * SITE - THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
* * BOOK - HELP MAKE A B3TA SICK JOKE BOOK
* * RATHERGOOD - VALENTINE DAY ANIMATION
"WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLACK MAN FLYING A PLANE?"
* * FUNNY NAME CORNER - FUCK A HORSE, IT'S BACK
* * SONG - CHUTNEY SONG FROM WEEBL
* * QUIZ - FILMY SQUIRRELS FROM ROB & JOEL
"WHAT'S BLUE AND STICKY?"
* QUESTION - HAVE YOU EVER PAID FOR SEX?
* PHOTOS - WORST TEA EVER
* SONG - CHEERY TUNE ABOUT A SEX OFFENDER
"WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE, AND DOESN'T LIKE SEX?"
* VID - CRAPPEST DJ EVER
* EGGS - MAKING THORTONS SWEAR
* CHALLENGE - IF DRUGS WERE LEGAL...
"WHY IS THE BIBLE LIKE A PENIS?"
* ANIM - ROLF HARRIS BESTIAL SING-SONG
* GAME - SPROUTS ARE EVIL
* CHALLENGES - LOVELY NEW DEMOCRATIC VOTEY STUFF
"WHAT'S RED, WHITE, FLUFFY AND SITS IN A TREE?"
* SNOWMEN - WANKING WITH HAPPINESS
* MERCH - BUY A B3TA ENAMEL BADGE FOR XMAS
* VIDEO - WORST RAP BATTLE EVER
"WHAT CAN TURN A FRUIT INTO A VEGETABLE?"
* DODGY ITEM CORNER - STUFF WE SHOULDN'T LINK...
* SUBTITLES - CCC TURNS HIS GENIUS TO FRANCE
* COCK ROCK - LITERALLY ROCK MADE WITH COCK
"HOW DO YOU GET A GRANNY TO SHOUT 'C*NT!'?"
* * WEEBL - SINGING AHA
* * JAMES BLUNT - HMMM, WHAT RHYMES WITH THAT?
* * EASTENDERS - STEVE MCFADDEN NAKED AT LAST
"BLAIR - BUSH SWEARING COMPETITION"
* ANIM - IT'S A COW IN A TREE
* VIDEO - BIGGEST ZIT IN THE WORLD
* PICS - HOW GERMANS MAKE BABIES
"DO TESCOS REALLY PROMOTE MUM-CHUFFING?"
* CILLIT BANG - IS "SHIT" SHOCKER!
* WEEBL - GOES GOTH
* EXPERIMENT - DO TIN FOIL HATS REALLY WORK?
"CHERIE BLAIR SEX CALENDAR"
* * POLITICS - BORIS FOR PM
* * LETTERS - CHILDREN WRITE TO CHRISTOPHER WALKEN
* * CUTENESS - THE YODA DOG
"THE OFFENSIVE WANKING GAME"
* VIDEO - FOUR-WAY SPESH ACTION
* GAME - CUTESY BOUNCING PANDA
* TRAMPS - ROB GETS KICKED
"BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY VS. LOST"
* VIDEO - TRAMPS DRINK CAPTAIN MORGAN
* CASH - THE QUEEN SUCKS OZZY COCK
* GIFS - STAR WARS IN 168K
"GO WEB GO!"
* OPERA - SINGING GLAUCOMA WEBPAGE
* SUPERMAN - A GHASTLY TWIT?
* BASTARDS - WHO NICKED MY LAPTOP THEN?
ISSUE 200: "YES, TWO HUNDRED OF THE BUGGERS. WOO!"
* QUIZ - IS IT ANT OR DEC?
* ANIM - JOEL PUTS SOUP ON HIS HEAD
* GAME - PISSING BLEACH ON OTTERS
ISSUE 199: "SHIT SPECIAL!"
* ANIM - "IF I COULD SHIT OUT MY COCK"
* VIDEO - RIVER PHOENIX'S FINAL MOMENTS
* CHALLENGE - CELEBS ON THE SHITTER
ISSUE 198: "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!111111"
* COOKING - PANCAKES ON A LAMP
* SWEARING - RATE MY CUSS
* PHOTOS - MEN OF THE INTERNET
ISSUE 197: "YOU THOUGHT WE WERE JOKING WHEN WE SAID IT WAS A COOKING NEWSLETTER"
* FOOD - KETTLE VS PASTA
* WEEBL - MAGICAL TREVOR III
* JUDO - IS IT GAY?
ISSUE 196: "PAUL DANIELS - WHITE SUPREMACIST?"
* CALL FOR CONTENT - THE SHITTY TAGLINE AWARDS
* IRONS - MAN COOKS BREAKFAST WITH ER... IRON
* SATANISTS - YOUR CHANCE TO SIRE THE ANTI-CHRIST
ISSUE 195 -"CAN GIVE YOU SOMETHING WITH A BLUE VEIN IN IT?"
* EVENT - COME AND WATCH ROB TALK ON B3TA HISTORY
* GAME - FIGHT THE VIDEO ALIENS
* PHALLUS - MICROSOFT'S SPUNKY COCK
ISSUE 194 - "PEGGING"
* CATS - IN SINKS!
* SONG - THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN
* DEATH - CUDDLY PET COFFINS
ISSUE 193: "THANK GOODNESS FOR AIDS"
* CUTE - BEST SLEEPY DOG EVER
* EGGS - WHERE BABIES REALLY COME FROM?
* MCDONALDS - FILTHY PHOTOS
ISSUE 192: "RE-LAUNCH, B3TA FOOD NEWSLETTER, HOPE YOU LIKE OUR NEW DIRECTION"
* FOOD - GARDEN SNAIL RISOTTO
* MORE FOOD - UNEXPECTED CHEESE COMBOS
* ENDLESS FOOD - WHAT'S IN YOUR FRIDGE?
ISSUE 191: "HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF MY CRACK?"
* ROSS KEMP - TV HARDMAN GURNS FOR BRITAIN
* VIDS - SLOW-MO FILM TRICKERY
* WORDS - ACCIDENTAL QUIMNUENDOS
ISSUE 190: "FLIP OUT LIKE A NINJA"
* NINJAS - FLIP OUT WITH JOEL
* PUB - DRINK WITH BLOKE WHO SURVIVED TUBE BOMB
* PROJECT - DIY OFFICE BOW & ARROW
ISSUE 189: "DANGER! ELECTRIC SAUSAGE"
* FOOD - HOW TO POACH AN EGG
* ANIM - CRAP LEOPARD
* HUMAN ZOO - INFLATABLE FACE MAN
ISSUE 188: "HANDI GANDHI"
* COMPO - WIN A VOODOO TROMBONE QUARTET CD
* MINI FEATURE - JINGLE WATCH
* MAKE - HAROLD SHIPMAN FIGURINES
ISSUE 187: "THAT'S NOT A BABY. IT'S A WOLF!"
* STUNT - WILL "WOLF BOY" WIN BABY THE OF YEAR?
* ANIM - COCKS FROM SPACE
* VIDEO - TOM CRUISE KILLS OPRAH
ISSUE 186: "JCB BALLET"
* FOOD - FRASER EATS RAW MINCE
* WEEBL - MR STABBY RETURNS
* GOOGLE - SONGS ABOUT YOUR FAVOURITE SITE
ISSUE 185: "IT'S A LEMON PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH"
* PHOTOS - WHAT DOES A RABBIT VAG LOOK LIKE?
* OBJECT - HOW DO DWARVES WIPE THEIR ARSE?
* DOCTOR WHO - THE THEME TUNE THEY SHOULD HAVE
ISSUE 184 - "THE SINGING ARSEHOLE"
* GAME - CELEBRITY HYBRIDS
* FOOD - LIVING ON GUINNESS FOR A WEEK
* ANIM - SINGING ARSEHOLE VS. ERASURE
ISSUE 183: "GUINNESS LOLLIES - YAY!"
* BOOZE - GUINNESS LOLLIES
* ANIM - TOILET PAPER MAN
* HOW TO - BE IMMENSELY STRONG
ISSUE 182: "BIGGEST SCOTCH EGG... EVER!"
* QUIZ - CAN YOU SPOT THE PORNALIKES?
* SURVEY - LOGOS THAT LOOK LIKE COCKS. RESULTS.
* COOKING - BIGGEST SCOTCH EGG EVER
ISSUE 181: "BARBIE ON THE BLOB"
* ANIM - RETURN OF BURNT FACE MAN
* GAME - CLICK THE COLOUR
* CONTROVERSY - WAS LION KING A RIP-OFF?
ISSUE 180: "SKIVE OFF WORK SPECIAL"
* HACKS - USB BARBIE
* VID - CRAP NORTHERN EGGS
* NSFW - HOOK-WANKING
ISSUE 179: "INTRODUCING THE PHALLIC LOGO AWARD"
* * EXPERIMENT - HOW MANY WANKS TO THE MOON?
* * DESIGN - PHALLIC LOGO AWARDS
* * KITTEN WARS - WHO'S THE CUTEST?
ISSUE 178 - "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR HITLER FROM YOUR WILLING SERVANT ON EARTH, POPE BENEDICT XVI"
* ANIM - CAMILLA QUEEN
* GAME - TRAFFIC LIGHT SIMULATOR
* T-SHIRTS - B3TA ARTIST OF THE WEEK
ISSUE 177: "AMERICA, WE STAND AS ONE"
* ROCK - 'AMERICA WE STAND AS ONE'
* KOSHER - JEWISH CHEW TOYS
* PHOTOS - "MY BUTTER VAGINA SHAME"
ISSUE 176: "BIRMINGHAM EGG"
* GOOGLE - PLAY THE "I'M NOT GAY" GAME
* SUBTITLES - CRAP CHINESE ONES AT THAT
* FUNNY NAMES - OH SHIT. THEY'RE BACK
ISSUE 175: "ONE MORE REASON TO DO SOD ALL WORK"
* INTRODUCING - TOKYO SEXWALE
* JOEL - WINNERS SONG
* SEX TOY - FUCK MY FANNY FOOT
ISSUE 174: "CILLIT BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!"
* ADVERT REMIX - CILLIT BANG!
* INTERVIEW - SIR PATRICK MOORE
* FASHION - MEAT BAGS
ISSUE 173: "FAMILY PLANNING - PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE"
* ANIM - SEX WITH DRAGONS
* MACHINE - GREAT EGG RACE
* INTERVIEW - INVENTOR BLOKE TIM HUNKIN
ISSUE 172: "DON'T EMAIL TV'S THE BILL. EVER."
* PHOTOS - HANDICAPPED WRESTLING
* AUCTION - BUY DRUG GEAR FROM PLOD
* TEXT - DON'T COMPLAIN TO TV
ISSUE 171: "THE MEGA-SHITTER!"
* * PIGS - AREN'T THEY GREAT?
* * VIDEO - TV'S COUNTDOWN SECRET CLIP
* * HUMAN ZOO - COLLECTOR MAN
ISSUE 170 - "LEUKAEMIA THE MUSICAL"
* KETTLE - BURNING FOOT MAN
* CHICKS - NEW THING FROM ROB & JOEL
* TORRENTS - BRITISH COMEDY SPECIAL
ISSUE 169: "JEWISH DOGS"
* VIOLENCE - GARDEN PUMMEL-TRICKERY
* SEX - SUPER MARIO, LOVER-MAN
* ARSERY - FOOLISH BUM-BASED CIGGY STUNT
ISSUE 168: "YOUR ADVERT. ON OUR NEWSLETTERY TITS."
* EBAY B3TA - BUY 50 WORDS IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
* WEEBL - MAGICAL TREVOR II
* COCKS - CUSTOMISE YOUR IPOD WITH A PENIS
ISSUE 167: "WOMEN WHO BREAST-FEED CATS. AND THE CATS WHO LOVE THEM"
* VID - MONKEY LICKS WINDOW
* PICS - MAN SLICES PENIS
* CONSUMER TESTS - CILLIT BANG! ANY GOOD?
ISSUE 166: "NUDE GAY CHRISTIAN ATHLETICS"
* HEADLINE WATCH - GOAT CHAOS
* GIZMOS - PHONES FOR DOGS
* PHOTOS - BLACK METAL HALL OF FAME
ISSUE 165: "THE POOR TASTE ISSUE"
* * RUDE - OBSCENE WRITE-UPS THIS WEEK
* * DRUNK - WE'RE STILL PISSED FROM LAST NIGHT
* * BLAME - BEN WHEATLEY IS A BAD INFLUENCE ON ROB
ISSUE 164: "EDIBLE FREAKS"
* ANIM - U2 MISHEARD LYRICS
* VID - EXPLOSIVES IN CANADA
* GAME - TWANG YOUR DOG
ISSUE 163: "A BIG GLITTERY POO"
* PRESENTS - BUY B3TA STUFF FOR XMAS
* HUMAN ZOO - LEG NIPPLE VS DRAGON COCK
* GAMEBOY DS - WE'VE GOT OUR HANDS ON ONE
ISSUE 162: "PLAY THE MUSIC QUIZ. ELSE WE'LL SET FIRE TO YOUR SHOES"
* MUSIC - INFINITE MUSIC QUIZ
* PRIZES - SIGNED WEEBL DVDS
* CATS - CAN YOU FIND THE "VET WANKS CAT" VID?
ISSUE 161: "DOGS THAT SPEAK LIKE MEN"
* VID - EASTENDERS SILENT MOVIE
* FASHION - CHILDREN'S KNITTED GIMP MASKS
* FACT - PEOPLE FALLING OVER IS FUNNY
ISSUE 161: "DOGS THAT SPEAK LIKE MEN"
* VID - EASTENDERS SILENT MOVIE
* FASHION - CHILDREN'S KNITTED GIMP MASKS
* FACT - PEOPLE FALLING OVER IS FUNNY
ISSUE 160: "REALDOLLS FOR PAEDOS"
* VID - INFLATABLE GLOVE BALLOONS
* GEEK - AOL CD THRONE
* PORN - SEXY TOE MYSTERY
ISSUE 159: "FAITHFULLY YOURS, YOU MISERABLE CRETIN"
* COMMUNICATIONS - SECRET SWEARING TECHNIQUES
* EXPERIMENT - BEER, NOT WATER
* STORIES - "I WAS AN ACCIDENTAL MOVIE STAR"
ISSUE 158: "MELON MISHAP"
* VID - MELON MISHAP
* INTERVIEW - DAVE 'GOOGLEWHACK' GORMAN
* CALENDAR - RAUNCHY ROYALS
ISSUE 157: "BADLY-DRAWN WANK"
* INTERVIEW - WINNER OR SINNER BLOKE
* HOAX - QUO TATTOOS
* PORN - BADLY-ANIMATED WANK
ISSUE 156: "CRAP TAGS"
* GRAFFITI - CRAP TAGS NAMED AND SHAMED
* HAMSTERS - WITH HATS, AT LAST
* CRAIG MINIPOP - WOMEN MORE DIFFICULT THAN MEN
ISSUE 155: "BOLIVIAN HEAD MAGGOTS"
* PARASITE - BOLIVIAN HEAD MAGGOTS
* STORIES - "I WAS OUT OF MY DEPTH"
* VID - SELLOTAPE VS CAT
ISSUE 154: "BISCUITY BOOKY WOOAGE"
* INTERVIEW - NICE CUP OF TEA BOOK LAUNCHED
* FLASH COMPETION - MAKE STUFF FOR TV
* LEGALS - KILROY THREATENS TO SUE B3TARD
ISSUE 153: "CELEBRITY ALIENS THROUGHOUT HISTORY"
* ART - CLASSICAL LOOK-A-LIKES
* TOY - CURSOR CATCHER
* GEEK - BEST TOY IDEA EVER
ISSUE 152: "LORD OF THE RINGPIECE"
* * VID - FARTING GANDALF
* * QUESTION - LOCAL NUTTERS EXPOSED
* * SQUIRREL - ADOPTED TREE-RAT TURNS TRICKS
ISSUE 151: "SICK JOKE SPECIAL"
* ANIM - CHICKEN OR EGG?
* FLASH CHALLENGE - JUST FOR THE FUCK OF IT
* ADOPT - BRITAIN'S SADDEST PET
ISSUE 150: "SIR, THIS WINE GUM LOOKS LIKE A PENIS"
* ANIM - NAUGHTY HEFFALUMP
* INTERVIEW - LAW OF THE PLAYGROUND
* VID - BIG WET DOGGY
ISSUE 149: "WE'RE B3TA. IT'S FRIDAY. LET'S ROCK"
* QUESTION - YOUR VOMIT STORIES
* CLOCKS - TIME REDEFINED
* CUTENESS - THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AHHH SPECIAL
ISSUE 148: "THINGS TO DO WITH A CUCUMBER"
* DOMAIN HIJACK - PISSING OFF THE AD-MEN
* EXPERIMENT - CRAP SCIENCE
* LARD - GIANT BURGERS FOR FAT CUNTS
ISSUE 147: "WORST JINGLES EVER PRODUCED"
* LABS - MILKSHAKE AND MEAT
* MUSIC - WORST JINGLES EVER
* ANIM - FISHY POO
ISSUE 146: "DOGS IN PANTS"
* PICS - B3TA ZOO
* VID - WHEN KILROY ATTACKS
* ANIM - KUNG-FU WEEBL
ISSUE 145: "STILL KITTENY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS"
* SAVE B3TA - SEND US YOUR CASH
* SPOOF SITE - ANNOYS THE WORLD
* KITTENS - CRAPPEST HAND-DRAW CATS EVER
ISSUE 144: "KITTZENSHITZEN"
* * WEEBL - HIS CATCHIEST TUNE YET?
* * GAMES - FRIDAY GAME SPECIAL
* * HUMAN ZOO - THE STAFF OF HARROW COUNCIL
ISSUE 143: "ANAL SEEPAGE"
* ANIM - BURNT FACE MAN
* GAME - CHASE THE BUTTON
* VID - HORSE POLITICS
ISSUE 142: "BETTER THAN LICKING BATTERIES"
* ANIM - RUSSIAN DOLLS GO WILD
* HUMAN ZOO - FAT BLOKES DRESSED AS SUPERMAN
* VIDEO - CATS THAT LOVE TREES TOO MUCH
ISSUE 141: "ARE YOU GAY?"
* ANIM - HAVE YOU DONE YOUR WEBXERCISE?
* DANCE - ROGER MOORE EYEBROW SENSATION
* WANKING - IT'S ONLY BAD IF YOU DO IT WRONG
ISSUE 140: "HAPPY CLAPPY BABY DONKEYS"
* GAME - INVERSE INVADERS
* URL GAMES - COCK HUNGRY FUCK SLUTS
* B3TA RADIO - YOU'VE TALES OF BEING DUMPED
ISSUE 139: "SUMMER HOLIDAY BEST OF"
* BEST OF - STUFF WE'VE LIKED THIS YEAR
* RADIO - GOSSIP YOU'VE OVERHEARD
ISSUE 138: "TALES OF THE TUG"
* ANIM - WEEBL SELLS OUT TO FOOTY BOLLOCKS
* RADIO - BEST WANKING STORIES EVER
* VIDEO - MAN DRINKS OWN VOMIT
ISSUE 137: "GOATSE DEATH DIVE"
* ANIM - KITTEN ON A MOTORBIKE
* GAME - GOATSE SKY-DIVING
* RADIO - YOUR WORST MINI CAB EXPERIENCES
ISSUE 136: "THE SWEARY CORNFLAKE"
* CELEB SWEARS - DLT SAYS "CUNT"
* VIDEO - PETROL IN A WATER PISTOL
* B3TA RADIO - NOW WITH AGONY AUNT
ISSUE 135: "WE'VE NOT MET THE RIGHT GIRL YET EITHER"
* ANIM - DAMON ALBARN IS A CUNT
* RATHERGOOD - BIGGEST CAT EVER
* RADIO - MJ HIBBETT LIVE
ISSUE 134: "TRY THE BLACK COCK INN CIDER"
* NERDSTALGIA - SING-A-LONG A 16K SONG
* VIDEO - OOH PRETTY MATCHSTICK ANIMATION
* B3TA RADIO - STORIES ABOUT SHITTING
ISSUE 133: "AN AFTERNOON OF YOUR LIFE YOU WON'T GET BACK"
* VIDEO - MAN GETS WAXED
* WEEBL - SHOOTS GINGER BLOKE WITH LASER
* B3TA RADIO - BUKKAKE SPECIAL
ISSUE 132: "SMEARING OUR SHITTY COCK ON YOUR TITS"
* WEEBL - HIS FINEST WORK YET
* FIREWORKS - OOH LOTS OF PRETTY FIREWORKS
* B3TA RADIO - PUTTING YOUR FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH
ISSUE 131: "FUCK OFF - ELSE WE'RE CALLING THE POLICE"
* QUIZ - CHEESE OR POSTBOX?
* VIDEO - BUKKAKE SONG
* B3TA RADIO - YOUR CELEBRITY INSULTS
ISSUE 130: "EASTER SPECIAL"
* ANIM - NSFW WORK OF GENIUS
* ACTIVITIES - NOT TO DO OVER EASTER
* DILDOS - DRAGON COCK ACTION
ISSUE 128: "INVENTING NEW SPORTS"
* ANIM - MONKEY VS. SKATEBOARD
* SPORT - CRAP NEW EXTREME SPORT
* B3TA RADIO - JOEL VEITCH SINGS LIVE
ISSUE 127: "KILL ALL NUNS"
* SHOP - NEW SHIRT DESIGNS
* RADIO - DAVE FROM BLUR + WEEBL
* RANT - BIT TORRENT TV
ISSUE 126: "BABY RHINOS!"
* GAME - NIGELLA BITES!
* ANIM - LIFE OF THE YAK
* PHOTOS - CHERNOBYL GHOST TOWN
ISSUE 125: "SANDWICH OF THE GOD"
* PHOTOS - BIGGEST SANDWICH EVER
* TOY - MAKE YOUR PHOTOS JIGGLE
* ANIMS - NEW SHIT FROM WEEBL & RATHERGOOD
ISSUE 124: "MOMMY, MY ARM'S GONE ALL FLOPPY"
* WATCH - CACTUS RAP
* OUTRAGE - GAY SAILORS FOR KIDS
* SWEAR - FLINTSONES VS. RAGING BULL
ISSUE 123: "SMOKING MAKES YOU HARD"
* PRINT - SMOKING TOP TRUMPS
* WATCH - FARTING WARTHOGS
* FEAR - FUCKED-UP KITTY
ISSUE 122: "CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY CRAAAA-ZEEE MUM"
* B3TA PARTY - TONIGHT
* RATHERGOOD - JOEL LOVES HIS PENIS
* TEABAGS - BUILT INTO PYRAMIDS
ISSUE 121: "YOU SAY POTATO, WE SAY POTOOTEE"
* ANIM - I SAY POTATO
* WEEBL - ON THE FUCKING MOON
* B3TA PARTY - NEXT WEEK
ISSUE 120: "WE LOVE HORSES"
* GAME - HAGGIS TOSSING
* ANIM - COME TO KENYA
* VIDEO - JELLY WRESTLING
ISSUE 119: "THE RETURN OF SPAZZIMATION"
* * PRANK - GOATSE IN THE PAPERS
* * TOY - MONKEY FUNK MIXOMATIC
* * FREAK - AMAZON PRINCESS
ISSUE 118: "LIES YOUR PARENTS TOLD"
* * INTERVIEW - WES CHERRY SPEAKS
* * QUIZ - CELEBRITY DUSTBIN
* * WEIRDO - FROM FLABBY TO FREAK
ISSUE 117: "WHY GERMANS LOVE POO"
* NUTTERS - NOTTINGHAM'S XYLOPHONE MAN SPEAKS
* BEST OF - B3TA'S GREATEST HITS FROM 2003
* KLINGON WEDDING - WE FOUND THE PHOTOS
ISSUE 116: "SOD WORK. READ OUR CHRISTMAS SPECIAL"
* WEEBL - BONJOUR MONSIEUR
* CALENDAR - NAKED MPS
* GAME - SHUFFLE THE PENGUIN
ISSUE 115: "TRAMPS"
* ANIM - TRAMP O CLAUS
* INTERVIEW - DISNEY TATTOO MAN
* B3TA RADIO - DAD JOKES
ISSUE 114: "BADGERS ARE BACK"
* WEEBL - RETURN OF THE BADGER
* GAME - ABBEY ROAD MASSACRE
* WAXING - BLOKE WAXES LEG
* B3TA RADIO - WORST RECORDS IN THE WORLD
ISSUE 113: "A HEADMASTERLY ROCKET UP THE ARSE"
* VIDEO - JIM'LL FIX-IT FOR WOO
* B3TA RADIO - BIGGEST LIES
* RATHERGOOD - FUCKING HELL. MORE KITTENS
ISSUE 112: "HONKY HONKY SHEEP SHEEP"
* B3TA RADIO - FLATMATES FROM HELL
* RATHERGOOD - WRONG BANANAS
* PROSTITUTES - ONE THOUSAND REVIEWS
ISSUE 111: "LOVE, SEX, TOAST AND LANDMINES"
* * ANIM - TOAST HORROR
* * VID - HOME-MADE LANDMINE
* * READ - PROSSIE BLOG
ISSUE 110: "PET CARE FOR ROCK STARS"
* ANIM - BOB DYLAN'S SPACE MONKEY
* INVESTIGATION - NO HANDS KITTEN
* RADIO - MILES HUNT LIVE!
ISSUE 109: "WE *HEART* SIMON COWELL"
* SURVEY - WANKING RESULTS IN
* ANIM - SAXPOHONE MEERKAT
* EVIL - SIMON COWELL IS SATAN
ISSUE 108: "THE WORST FOOD YOU'VE EVER COOKED"
* * TOY - BOOZE CALCULATOR
* * RATHERGOOD - RUDE HEDGEHOGS
* * STUPID NAMES - FRIENDS OF MARTIN WANK
ISSUE 107: "TOM BAKER SWEARS. LIVE IN YOUR INBOX"
* B3TA KIDS - A LINK FOR THE TODDLERS
* OLD GAME SPESH - THREE RETRO GAMES SPAZZED UP
* POTTERY - LIONEL RICHIE TRIBUTE IN CLAY
ISSUE 106: "DRAWING COCKS ON SLEEPING FRIENDS"
* TOON - TRAGIC KITTENS
* WEEBL - NEW ONE. WITH PIE.
* PHOTOS - RATHERGOOD SELFRIDGES WINDOW
ISSUE 105: "CARS ARE STUPID"
* * ANIM - NEW SONG FROM JONTI "BADGER" PICKING
* * PHOTOS - STUPIDEST CAR MODS EVER
* * HEARSES - MOTORBIKE FUNERALS
ISSUE 104: "HITLER OR SHITLER. CAN YOU TELL?"
* QUIZ - HITLER OR SHITLER?
* PHOTOS - TRANNY GRANDAD
* ANIM - LEMUR SIMULATOR
ISSUE 103: "GABBA BADGERS ON MUSHROOMS"
* TOY - HOW RICH ARE YOU?
* ANIM - GABBA BADGERS
* TIPS - BATTERY TIP TESTED
ISSUE 102: "LOOK MUM, WE'RE DEAD!"
* PHOTOS - DEAD KIDS
* ART - HUGE POLAR BEARS
* HUMAN ZOO - OUR FAVORITE WEB FREAKS
ISSUE 101: "WHERE'D THE CHEESE GO?"
* ANIM - STICKBOY SLIM
* SWEARING - NEIL ARMSTRONG
* CHEESE - WEEN
ISSUE 100: "MAGGIE THATCHER ON A TOBOGGAN"
* FEATURE - MPS ON WHEELS
* TOYS - XML KITTENS, PALM PILOT, NEWSLETTER
* ANIM - SAUSAGES
ISSUE 99: "MORRISSEY EXCLUSIVE"
* ANIM - MORRISSEY ON LINDA MCCARTNEY
* QUIZ - CODER OR KILLER
* FRUIT - SECRETS OF THE DOLLHOUSE
ISSUE 98: "HOW MUCH DO YOU WANK?"
* TOY - MAKE IT RAIN
* SCREENSAVER - NEW. BETTER. IMPROVED.
* SURVEY - HOW MUCH DO YOU WANK?
ISSUE 97: "I'M SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT"
* ANIM - TEDDY BEAR THAT SAYS, "I'M SORRY"
* PARTY - IT'S TONIGHT!
* WEEBL - TENTACLE RAPE
ISSUE 96: "BLOKE CLIMBS THROUGH BAT"
* ANIM - CHEESE TERRORISM
* QUIZ - FLESH OR FOOD?
* VIDEO - BLOKE CLIMBS THROUGH BAT
ISSUE 95 : "FRENCH DOG SINGS POP"
* VIDEO - FRENCH DOG SINGS POP
* ANIM - THE RETURN OF MR STABBY
* CHALLENGE - INTERNATIONAL SMOKING DAY RESULTS
ISSUE 94:"LOCAL NEWSPAPER PRINTS GOATSE"
* STUNT - GOATSE IN THE PAPERS
* VIDEO - SESAME STREET PINBALL SONG
* REVIEWS - ALL MUSIC IS SHIT
ISSUE 93: "MAN VS SHED"
* INTERVIEW - BISCUIT MAN TALKS
* VIDEO - MAN VS SHED
* QUIZ - GUESS THE CRAP PAINT
ISSUE 92: "MEN WITH BREASTS"
* ANIM - GOOSE FANTASIA
* PARTY - 2ND BIRTHDAY ANNOUNCEMENT
* QUIZ - MAN BOOBS OR LADY BOOBS
ISSUE 91: "SKIPPY THE GOTH KANGAROO"
* ANIM - WEEBL VS J-LO
* QUIZ - SEX OR... STUFF
* ANIM - SKIPPY THE GOTH KANGAROO
ISSUE90: "BEFORE I KNEW IT, I WAS ALMOST BALD"
* SITE - CRAP HAIR CUT
* PHOTOS - SOCK FUCKING
* VIDEO - SOAKING PEOPLE
ISSUE 89: "GIVE UP WANKING ... FOR THE BLIND"
* INTERVIEW - WILF LUNN
* VIDEO - DOG VS WATER
* CAMPAIGN - WANK HOLIDAY MONDAY
ISSUE 88: "THE TRUTH ABOUT THE TUNBRIDGE MONKEY MAN"
* ANIM - ELEPHANTS. YEAH
* INTERVIEW - TUNBRIDGE MONKEY MAN TELLS ALL
* QUIZ - HE-NAIL OR SHE-NAIL
ISSUE 87: "CLICKITY YOO-DAR CLICKITY YAY"
* VIDEO - OUCH. HURTY FIRE
* QUIZ - COKE OR CLEANER
* VIDEO - BIRMINGHAM BAYWATCH
ISSUE 86: "I TATTOOED B3TA ON MY ARM"
* WEBCAM PHONEBOX - CALL RANDOM PEOPLE
* ANIM - BIRMINGHAM IS NOT SHIT
* MENTALIST - B3TA TATTOOS
ISSUE 85: "HOW TO BOIL AN EGG"
* SHORTS - 15 SECONDS OF STUPID
* GAME - PIGEON STREET MASSACRE
* ANIM - NEW WEEBL
"THE BEST OF .... "
* STUFF - BEST OF B3TA
* MORE STUFF - BEST OF EVERYTHING ELSE
* INTERVIEW - WE LOVE THE IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER
ISSUE 84: "THINGS YOU SHOULDN'T DO SPECIAL"
* VIDEO - OUCH HURTY STUFF
* ANIM - HIPPO GIRL
* PARTY - COME AND SEE
ISSUE 83: "MAN MILK OR MOO MILK?"
* FILM - MONEY STUCK TO PAVEMENT
* QUIZ - MAN MILK OR MOO MILK?
* ANIM - BUNNY VS. MOTöRHEAD
ISSUE 82: "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
* * PRANK - SABOTAGING LETTERS PAGES
* * ANIM - CRAP LEOPARD
* * TWIGS - BUILDING A BOAT
ISSUE 81: "RE: YOUR QUERY"
* ANIM - FATCAT & SATAN
* VIDEO - PUNK ROCK HAMSTERS
* PHOTOS - STUPID ANIMALS
ISSUE 80: "FUCK RED NOSE DAY, LOOK AT THIS"
* GAME - NUN LANDER
* ANIM - WEEBL PARODY / READER CHALLENGE
* QUIZ - WHERE THE FUCK DO ABBA COME FROM?
ISSUE 79: "TEENAGE SPIDER ART TERRORISM"
* ART - SPIDER WEBS IN SCHOOLS
* ANIM - RETURN OF THE VIKING KITTENS
* VID - DOGGIE CAM
ISSUE 78: "DIE PIGEON SCUM"
* VIDEO - CHASING PIGEONS WITH TOY CARS
* SITE - TRICK PHOTOGRAPHY
* ANIM - WEEBL MEETS ELVIS
ISSUE 77: "DOMO-KUN VS. DONNIE DARKO"
* FILM - DOMO DARKO
* ANIM - GAY BEARS
* GAME - SHOUT AT YOUR PC
ISSUE 76: "LET'S BOMB THE COMMIES"
* GAME - UNDERAGE DRINKING
* ANIM - NEW WEEBL AND BOB
* QUIZ - SEXPOT OR DESPOT?
ISSUE 75: "ALL TOAD. NO HOLE."
* * QUIZ - ANIMAL, VEGETABLE OR WHAT THE FUCK?
* * ANIM - VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR
* * TOY - RESCUE KITTY
ISSUE 74: "TINY VAMPIRE BOFFINS"
* ANIMATION - TINY VAMPIRE BOFFINS
* GAME - FEED THE NINE-MOUTHED BABY
* INTERVIEW - ARGIE HANDBAG BLOKE
ISSUE 73: "MONKEYS, NOT KITTENS"
* ANIM - MONKEY SONG FROM RATHERGOOD
* COMPETITION - WEEBL SELECTS A LADY
* TOY - DESIGN YOUR OWN RIZLAS
ISSUE 72: "DIY SPIDERMAN"
* HERO - DIY SPIDERMAN
* COMPETITION - WIN A DATE WITH WEEBL
* GAME - RESCUE A POLAR BEAR
ISSUE 71: "ATTACK OF THE UBER-PEA"
* ANIM - BLODE 6 FROM RATHERGOOD
* QUIZ - SPOT THE GIF-ERENCE
* TOY - BOUNCING CATTLE
ISSUE 70 : "MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY"
* GAME - GLAM ROCK MINESWEEPER
* MP3 - MAD PERSON SINGS
* ANIM - 12 DAYS OF XMAS
ISSUE 69: "CLICK ON CLIFF RICHARDS' PANTS"
* GAME - SPOT THE CLIFFERENCE
* ANIM - CHRISTMAS KITTENS
* QUIZ - NOSE PICKING
ISSUE 68: "ARSE"
* WEB TOY - YOU ARE AN ARSE
* INTERVIEW - GRAHAM RAWLE
* CONFESSION - I'VE POOED MYSELF
ISSUE 67: "KEEP YOUR KITTEN WARM"
* GAME - KEEP YOUR KITTEN WARM
* QUIZ - ARSE OR ELBOW
* VIDEO - NUTTER BLOWING STUFF UP
ISSUE 66: "VANDALISE THE WEB"
* QUIZ - GASH OR TASH
* VANDALISE WEBSITES - AN EVIL TOOL
* INTERVIEW - VOICE OF THE LONDON UNDERGROUND
ISSUE 65: "WHY CATS LOVE EARWAX"
* BUILD YOUR OWN SNOW CITY
* MOUSTACHE GAME
* POTATO SONG
ISSUE 64: "WHEN CO-WORKERS ATTACK"
* PREGNANT QUIZ
* WHEN CO-WORKERS ATTACK
* CANNIBAL SEX BARBIE PHOTOSHOOT
ISSUE 63: "DEAD ROCK STAR SPECIAL"
* ROCK 'N' ROLL WATER COOLER
* TRIBUTE TO RUN DMC
* B3TA PARTY .. TONIGHT!
ISSUE 62: "STAR WARS AND THE NEW KITTEN BAND"
* STAR WARS
* NEW KITTEN BAND
* REALISTIC INTERNET SIMULATOR
ISSUE 61: "NAME THAT BEARD"
* BEARD QUIZ
* SIMON SAYS, "FUCK"
* MICKHUCKNALL.COM DOMAIN SQUAT
ISSUE 60: "PATRICK MOORE PLAYS THE XYLOPHONE"
* PATRICK MOORE PLAYS THE XYLOPHONE
* SKIFFLE KITTENS
* UNUSUAL CHILDHOOD BELIEFS
ISSUE 59: "HAVE YOU GOT PARKINSON'S?"
* LOVE TEST
* HAVE YOU GOT PARKINSON'S?
* PENGUIN MADNESS
ISSUE 58: "VIKINGS ARE COOL"
* VIKING KITTENS
* BEST SCREENSAVER EVER
* B3TA PERSON WINS GUARDIAN BLOG AWARD
ISSUE 57: "P45 ROULETTE"
* JOHN B'S AMERICAN GIRLS
* BIG NOSED PORN
* WEEBL SPECIAL
ISSUE 56: "MEAT OR ACCIDENT?"
* MEAT OR ACCIDENT QUIZ
* GAY SKELETON ANIMATION
* EXPLOIT A CRIPPLE
ISSUE 55: "A REQUIEM FOR ROGER MOORE"
* ROGER MOORE REQUIEM
* SAD SINGING KITTEN
* RORY MCGRATH SPIDER GAME
ISSUE 54: "PUNK KITTENS AND THE TWATLAS"
* PUNK KITTENS SING WHITE STRIPES
* THE TWATLAS, INTRODUCING THE SWEARING MAP
* NEW WEEBL THING
ISSUE 53: "WIN A DATE WITH A NET CELEBRITY!"
* - DUTCH PAINTING QUIZ (BETTER THAN IT SOUNDS)
* - DESIGN A TATTOO
* - CREATE A CITY IN PIXELS
ISSUE 52: "TOADS ARE THE NEW KITTENS"
* WEEBL TO CHANGE HIS NAME
* STEPHEN HAWKING ANIMATION
* BLODE 5, TOAD TURMOIL
ISSUE 51: "WEEBL IN FIVE FIGURE MTV DEAL"
* SPAM TICKER
* PSYCHIC TRICK
* WEEBL IN FIVE FIGURE MTV DEAL
ISSUE 50: "THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTORBIKES"
* MOTORBIKES!
* FILM TIE-IN QUIZ
* FIG ROLLS RATED AND REVIEWED
ISSUE 49: "PANDAS MUST DIE"
* PANDAS MUST DIE
* SKIVE OFF WORK (AGAIN)
* ARTY STUFF
ISSUE 48: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRIAN MAY"
* SPOON GUARD
* LET'S FIST AGAIN (LIKE WE DID LAST SUMMER)
* A TRIBUTE TO BRIAN MAY OF QUEEN
ISSUE 47: "THE RETURN OF THE SINISTER FINGERS"
* NASTY GINGER FINGERS
* MARK LLAMA GERBIL FARMER
* WEEBL AND BOB ... IN FRENCH
ISSUE 46: "WE LOVE YOU"
* THE KITTEN THAT SINGS, "I LOVE YOU"
* MR STABBY, HE WANTS TO STAB YOU.
* INTRODUCING, THE "BLOGDEX VIRAL CHART"
ISSUE 45: "DEATH TO ALL PUPPIES"
* TOSS THE PUPPY
* B3TA'S FIRST BIRTHDAY
* SHEMALE KITTENS
* B3TA SHOP
ISSUE 44: "INTRODUCINGMONDAY.CO.UK. WE CONFESS ALL"
* FLICKING V'S AT INTERNATIONAL CORPORATIONS
* NAZI KITTEN KICK UPS GAME
* MAKE B3TA YOUR SCREEN SAVER
ISSUE 43: "GET YOUR MATES SACKED"
* GET YOUR MATES SACKED
* PAVAROTTI LOVES ELEPHANTS
* WHEN COME BACK BRING PIE
ISSUE 42: "FOOTBALL VS. ART"
* FOOTBALL GAME
* FOOTBALL FAN OR RACIST QUIZ
* B3TA STEALS THE TURNER PRIZE
ISSUE 41: "JAILBAIT OR LEGAL"
* JAILBAIT OR LEGAL QUIZ
* NAME THE BABY. THE RESULTS.
* JUBILEE CHALLENGE
ISSUE 40: "FUNNEL OR TUNNEL QUIZ"
* FUNNEL OR TUNNEL QUIZ
* CHEESE AT THE ZOO
* THE ASS-O-TRON
ISSUE 39: "H & CLAIRE, JAMIE THEAKSTON & THE WAR FISH"
* H & CLAIRE FROM STEPS GAME
* JAMIE THEAKSTON AND THE MAGIC TODGER
* OFFICIAL B3TA SCREENSAVER - NOW WITH WAR FISH
ISSUE 38: "LEMMINGS, KITTENS & STEPHEN BYERS"
* B3TA PEOPLE MAKE STUFF - SPECIAL ISSUE.
* OUR BIRTHDAY PARTY - YOU'RE INVITED
* RATHERGOOD ON TV
ISSUE 37 "THE SWEARING FISH AND THE SHITTY SHOW"
* THE IRRITATING FISH THAT SWEARS
* THE SHITTY SHOW
* ADD AN ARSE TO ANY PAGE ON THE NET
ISSUE 36: "FEMALE OR SHEMALE ... 2"
* FEMALE OR SHEMALE ... 2
* STICK YOUR BOSSES FACE ON PORNO PIC
* GAZ TOP INTERVIEW
ISSUE35: "GET YOU STUFF ON TV"
* GET YOUR STUFF ON TV
* B3TA PARTY... TONIGHT!
* KESTRELS, DALEKS & POLAR BEARS
ISSUE 34: QUEEN MUM, JEFF MINTER & BLODE 4
* QUEEN MUM TRIBUTES
* JEFF MINTER INTERVIEW
* BLODE 4
ISSUE 33: "TEST YOU GAYDAR"
* TEST YOUR GAYDAR
* INSITE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE WITH WORKMATES
* THE RETURN OF THE YAK
ISSUE 32: SHEMALES, TONY HART & EASTER
* FEMALE OR SHEMALE CHALLENGE
* GET TONY HART TO DRAW YOU AN ANIMAL
* B3TA APPEAL - WE'VE MADE IT
ISSUE 31: SACK OFF THE AFTERNOON, AND LOOK AT THIS COOL STUFF
* SERVER APPEAL, NEARLY THERE
* FAKE THEIR DEATH DECLARED "SICK" BY SCOTS PAPER
* BUY B3TA T-SHIRTS
* B3TA PEOPLE MAKE LOADS OF NEW STUFF. YAY!
ISSUE 30: THE B3TA APPEAL
* SAVE B3TA
* EXPLODE BUNNIES WITH FIREWORKS
* WHAT DOES HELL LOOK LIKE?
ISSUE 29: FAKE SOMEONE'S DEATH. IT'S BACK!
* FAKE SOMEONE'S DEATH
* OSYMYSO INTERVIEWED
* DESIGN AN ANIMAL FOR THE B3TA ZOO
ISSUE 28: "I WANT TO GET SUED BY STARBUCKS"
* FUND DANGEROUS IDEAS
* DESTROY CAPITALISM
* FERRY HALIM SPEAKS
ISSUE 27: POP IDOL DALEKS
* POP IDOL DALEKS
* CAT TOILET DANGER
* NEW FLASH CHALLENGE
ISSUE 26: LADY DI, CLIFF RICHARD AND THE VENGABOYS
* LADY DI
* KITTENS
* ZOMBIE WINNER
ISSUE 25: RUBBISH TV
* BLANKETY BLANK
* TONY HART INTERVIEW
* ZOMBIE UPDATE
ISSUE 24: DESTINY'S CHILD, ZOMBIE NATION & NOODLEBOX
* RETURN OF THE MISHEARD LYRICS
* ZOMBIE NATION, A FLASH VIDEO CHALLENGE
* LONDON WEB EXHIBITION
ISSUE 23: OUR FAVOURITE STORIES THIS YEAR
* OUR FAVOURITE STORIES THIS YEAR
* PHOTOSHOP THE QUEEN
ISSUE 22: FORGET WORK - COME PLAY WITH US
* GIANT BEE SONG AND MOVIE
* TONY HART
* PHOTOSHOP JESUS
ISSUE 21: WANKING SPECIAL
* THOMAS THE WANK ENGINE
* WIPING UP JIZZ GAME
* ANANOVA IMAGE CHALLENGE
ISSUE 20: DOWNLOAD OUR CRABS
* CRAB BLOKE IN LONDON
* DOWNLOAD AND WEAR YOUR OWN FINGER CRAB
* HAS RUPAUL GONE INSANE?
ISSUE 19: CATS ARE EVIL
* KILL THE SPACE KITTENS
* PSYCHO TECHNO HYPNO KITTEN SNAKE
* KITTEN IMAGE CHALLENGE
ISSUE 18: SWEARING SPECIAL
* BUFFY'S SWEARING KEYBOARD
* TOP 10 SWEARING SITES
* HAROLD SHIPMAN IMAGE CHALLENGE
ISSUE 17: RAVES, PENGUINS & LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN
* EVERYTHING STARTS WITH AN "E"
* PENGUIN GAME
* LAURENCE LLEWELYN-BOWEN IMAGE CHALLENGE
ISSUE 16: TOURETTE'S, DAVROS & TONY HART
* JOHN'S NOT MAD
* DAVROS SENDS US EMAIL
* TONY HART'S GALLERY
ISSUE 15: STEPHEN HAWKING & DAVROS ANIMATION
* STEPHEN HAWKING & DAVROS IN LOVE
* PRAWNZILLA
* HOW OLD AM I?
ISSUE 14: PHOTOSHOP THIS ISSUE
* TOP THREE "PHOTOSHOP THIS" SITES
* LIZARD CHALLENGE
* TINY TENNIS
ISSUE 13: MISHEARD LYRIC SPECIAL
* MISHEARD LYRIC ANIMATIONS
* B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
* PYGMY SHREW NEWS
ISSUE 12: WASTE TIME AT WORK
* ROCKET CAR
* BLODE III
* MACIGAME
ISSUE 11: B3TA FRIENDS SPECIAL
* BUNNY SEX
* ROCKSTARTER
* TINY WINDOWS GAMES
ISSUE 10: THE CELEBRITY ISSUE
* TOP 10 WEB CELEBRITIES
ISSUE 9: THE CAT ISSUE
* CAT GAME
* BRITAIN'S FIRST CAT CELEBRITY
* TOP FIVE CAT SITES
ISSUE 8: THE DEATH ISSUE
* TOP TEN DEAD
* HANK THE DWARF OBITUARY
* QUEEN MUM DEATH RUMOUR
ISSUE 7: BEWARE THE KITTEN OF WOE
* KITTEN OF WOE
* FAKING PEOPLES DEATHS
* Y2KHAI SCOOP
ISSUE 6: THE RABBIT RETURNS
* MORE BUNNIES
* MORE BUNNIES
* MORE BUNNIES
ISSUE 5: BUNNIES BREEDING ON INTERNET
* BUNNY GAME
* BUNNY ANIMATIONS
* MORE BUNNIES
ISSUE 4: SEARCHING FOX, HIDDEN XIAOXIAO
* BURNING BUNNY
* THE INCREDIBLE HANSON-HULK
* NEIL FROM ANIMUTATION
ISSUE 3: MYSTERY KUNG-FU & THE QUEEN MOTHER
* KILL YOUR FRIENDS FEEDBACK
* MYSTERY KUNG-FU
* CRAIG FROM FLIPFLOPFLYIN SPEAKS
ISSUE 2.1: ERRATUM
* WE CAN'T TYPE
ISSUE 2: KILL YOUR FRIENDS, DOG SHIT AND PARANOIA
* KILL YOUR FRIENDS
* DOG SHIT
* PARANOIA
ISSUE 1: DRUGS, ZEPPELINS & KILLER FISH
* DRUGS
* ZEPPELINS
* KILLER FISH
