Strategist-for-Hire Meghan McCain Wants to 'Kick Obama's Ass'

Take note, 2012 Republican presidential candidates: Alleged pundit Meghan McCain is available as a "strategist" for the election cycle; one of you'd better snatch her up post-haste! She will help you "kick Obama's ass," as she did in 2008. More »

Club Mistakes Black Harvard Crowd For "Local Gangbangers"

A party for black Harvard and Yale alums at a Boston club this weekend was shut down just after 11pm. Why? The club owner was concerned that a long line of black people outside would make the club look bad. [Jezebel]

Chandra Levy's Murderer Finally Convicted

Just nine short years after Washington intern Chandra Levy's highly-publicized murder, Ingmar Guandique has been convicted for the crime. That means it's officially time to stop thinking her old boss and lover Gary Condit actually did it. [AP]
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The Princess of Poughkeepsie Had a Most Regal Jubilee

["Jersey Shore" royalty Snooki, dressed as the bride of the Duck Phone, celebrated her birthday with an animal print cake at Manhattan nightclub Pacha on Saturday. Image via Pacific Coast News]

The View Mocks The Woman Locked in Charlie Sheen's Closet

Adult film actress Capri Anderson claims to have been attacked by Charlie Sheen and is filing a criminal complaint against him. The ladies of The View mocked her GMA interview and implied that she's lying (likely, given Sheen's spotless record.) [Gawker.TV]

Contributors Call Time Out New York 'Serially Delinquent' With Payments

In your penniless Monday media column: TONY freelancers say they're being stiffed, NPR is afraid of the public's emails, The Daily may have to fight for its name, and Whoopi vs. O'Reilly, round two. More »

America's Nuclear Arsenal in the Hands of Sloppy Drunks

A new government report reveals that agents responsible for driving nuclear weapons around have been written up for 16 alcohol-related "incidents" between 2007 and 2009. Got a problem with that? Fine, you drive the nukes and try keeping sane. More »

Green Cards: Still a Good Bet

The U.S. State Department's green card lottery this year drew a record 15 million applications for 50,000 available green cards. Which means this lottery's odds are approximately 150,000 times better than the New York Lottery's odds . [WSJ]

Source Code: Jake Gyllenhaal Is Inside You

Here's a trailer for Source Code, the sci-fi thriller from the director of Moon about a device that allows a military man (Jake) to enter the body of someone else for the last eight minutes of their life. Sure, OK. More »

World's Most Expensive Lawn Ornament Causes Hamptons Uproar

Officials in tony Hamptons village Sag Harbor are battling art-dealing residents about removing a 16-foot sculpture from their yard. It is a $50,000 pair of legs by controversial artist Larry Rivers. Rich people fight about the stupidest shit.

Despite Egregious Nudity, Harry Potter Charms Big Time

As expected, the Boy Who Lived raked in oodles of galleons over the weekend, and ought to broom-fly well through Thanksgiving on a raft of positive word-of-mouth. The rest of the movies this weekend? They mostly cowered in fear. More »

Hippie Fries Make Mockery of America's Economic Recovery

The good news: Americans are starting to eat out at fast food restaurants again, celebrating our nascent economic recovery with fried flash-frozen potatoes. The bad news: one fast food giant is "rethinking" its french fries—imperiling American fry nostalgia. More »

Prince William Saves A Life, But His Pending Marriage Is Doomed

Days after saving us from Kendra Wilkinson tabloid covers with his engagement announcement, Prince William flew a military helicopter to rescue a man having a heart attack in the mountains. Then tragedy struck: Some bishop declared his marriage will fail. [Jezebel]

Which Actress Slept with Both of Her Sister's Husbands?

She can't keep it in the pants, so she keeps it in the family. This Twilight actor has a kinky fetish, this actor has a small penis, and this star needs female Viagra. You'll be turned on and freaked out. More »

The Mace-wielding Chelsea Market vegan cookie purple scooter thief: NYC's quirkiest thief? Comment »

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Miley Celebrates End of Jailbait Status with Mother-Daughter Dance Routine

Miley's eighteenth birthday party features bumping and grinding with her mom. Jay-Z shot his brother at age 12. Charlie Sheen's hooker gives an interview. Lenny Dykstra's dog could get repossessed. Just another manic Monday gossip roundup. More »

Quadrangle Group, 2000-2010

Quadrangle Group, which was not long ago America's most prominent media-focused private equity firm, is folding (in its current form, at least). The reason for its downfall is the same man largely responsible for its success: Steven Rattner. More »

Balance the Budget The Game, Now With More Defense Cuts and Health Care Reform

With the United States' budget projected to hit a $418 billion shortfall by 2015 and a $1.3 trillion shortfall by 2030, the New York Times knows something has to be done. So they made a game. [Kotaku]

Prince William's Marriage to Old Tramp Is a Mistake, Fears Andrea Peyser

Tabloid sex-and-xenophobia commentator Andrea Peyser is, as we all know, America's chief booster of the concept of love. So it pains her to announce that Prince William and his slutty hussy bride-to-be are headed for The Big D (divorce). More »

LA County Coroner Eyes Wider Market for Gift Shop

The LA County Coroner's office gift shop has seen lackluster sales over the years, so auditors suggested they hire a marketing firm. The office's chief knows they have a cash cow: "There is a mystique about the LA County coroner."

Vladimir Putin Hosted a Tiger Convention

Vladimir Putin held a summit last weekend with a stated goal of doubling the number of wild tigers by 2022. But critics say he just wants to portray himself as a tiger-like, "stand-alone, solitary yet fearsome hunter." He's badass. [NYT]

Kabul Safer for Kids Than New York, Says NATO

NATO's senior civilian in Afghanistan, Mark Sedwill says kids in Kabul have little to worry about: "The children are probably safer here than they would be in London, New York or Glasgow." Meanwhile, civilian deaths are "soaring" across the country. More »

A robot is being deployed to search for 29 miners trapped in New Zealand. Comment »

Who is the Coolest 'New Club Kid'?

On Sunday, The New York Times took it upon itself to introduce us all to five "night life scenemakers" who are "carving out new party spaces in the city's ever-gentrifying neighborhoods." But which one is the coolest? More »
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You Wouldn't Like K-Pax When He's Angry

[Actor Kevin Spacey packs up his hotel room after a stay in France hosting a charity event for his foundation. Image via Bauer-Griffin.]

Chinese rescue workers managed to extract 29 miners from a flooded coal mine in the Sichuan province. Comment »

Police Officer, Playboy Bunny, Fugitive 'Bambi' Bembenek Dies

Lawrencia "Bambi" Bembenek, a onetime Playboy club waitress and Milwaukee cop who escaped from prison after being convicted of killing her then-husband's ex-wife, died in hospice care on Saturday. She was in the midst of applying for a pardon.
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Neonna

[Pop star Rihanna performs at the American Music Awards. Photo via AP]
Yesterday - November 21, 2010

If you've been drinking out of your Warner Bros. Studio store Superman glass, you might want to stop. Comment »

The 25 Most Dangerous Cities in the U.S. Are Mostly Nice Places

According to a study of FBI crime statistics by CQ Press, St. Louis, Mo. was the "most dangerous city in the U.S." in 2010, probably due to former St. Louis Cardinal Mark McGwire's uncontrollable steroid-murder rages. Here's the top 25: More »
#picoftheday

All Anyone Could Talk About Was the Royal Engagement

[Obama chats with British Prime Minister David Cameron at a meeting of NATO leaders in Lisbon, Portugal. Image via Getty.]

A Moscow-bound plane is reporting an engine fire and will attempt an emergency landing at JFK Comment »

The trial of three Americans on espionage charges in Iran will begin on February 6. Comment »

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Mirror Mirror

[A Yemeni hat vendor, Abu Mohammed waits for business in the capital Sana'a today. Image via AP]

An opera about Internet addiction is coming to New York. We'd go, but we're too busy Tweeting. Comment »

Courtney Love Tweets Half-Naked Pictures, Again

Perpetually nude Courtney Love went on something of a Twitter picture bender last night. (Probably another kind of bender, too!) She tweeted many charming pictures of her with no pants on, a thurible pressed tightly against her butt. [CourtneyLoveUK]
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