1I profoundly apologize for misleading this blog’s readers by previously using a photo of Asst. Prof. Douglas that was out of date by about 20 years and at least 50 pounds. It’s Asst. Prof. Douglas’s fault, however, because that’s the photo that he uses on his blog. How was I to suspect that he would deliberately mislead people with such an inaccurate photo?
2Asst. Prof. Douglas links to this post of mine about Jonah to prove that I’m an anti-Semite. Isn’t Asst. Prof. Douglas going to feel foolish when he learns that my last name is Kaufmann?
The Hill has the current whip count of Democrats who don’t want to let the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest of the wealthy expire.
If, in the middle of the worst economy in a lifetime, with unemployment and poverty at toxic levels, you can’t bring yourself to tell the most privileged amongst us that they ought to resume chipping in a couple of percentage points more at the top marginal rate, why even call yourself a Democrat?
This country really is going to the dogs. And it’s being pushed in that direction by wealth disparity that is third-worldish in its propensity for beating down the psyches of the have-nots — only our national mythology of studiously denying that the vast majority of have-nots (including you!) are in fact never-wills prevents the whole thing from crumbling. That and the insidious creep throughout society over the past 40 years of the Randian philosophy of selfishness, rich people worship and the attendant calculated purging of empathy from the citizenry.
But the recession has exposed the wealth disparity wound a bit, at least. A recent CBS poll finds that 53 percent of respondents now favor having the nation’s top earners contribute a little bit more to the country that made them so fabulously wealthy.
Above: An example of one OkCupid user’s tag cloud of ‘likes’.
The oktrends team took the most popular profile words from 526,000 users of the dating site OkCupid. Then they broke those out based on the users’ stated race and gender to come up with basic tag clouds that purport to show what sorts of things, say, a female Pacific-Islander digs the most.
It’s actually kind of fascinating. Especially when you dig into the various tag clouds and discover some really interesting stuff. F’rexample:
- As mentioned in the headline, Middle Eastern guys like Nickelback. They are the only group that does — even white dudes don’t. Pam Geller should look into this.
- Male Pacific-Islanders randomly like ’500 Days of Summer’. And it’s pretty high in their cloud. They also like ‘the hulk’, ‘sharks’ and ‘beer pong’, all of which are pretty cool. For some reason they like ‘my abs’ — but I don’t think they’ve seen my belly recently.
- Female Pacific-Islanders love them some Alicia Keys. It’s No. 1 on their list of likes … pretty much every other group of women except white chicks also likes Ms. Keys, just not so much.
- Where da white wimmin at? Probably 4 Yawkey Way — if not physically then in spirit. ‘The Red Sox’ is their shared top ‘like’, along with ‘jodi picoult’, whatever that is (Google is apparently not on my personal list of likes). One suspects this is because the Red Sox are a lovable, scrappy bunch that gets little media exposure and has no appreciable number of fake bandwagon fans who infect the sporting body politic like enormous drunk bedbugs with stupid hats. White females also like ‘my toes’, and I will admit they are rather shapely.
- Latinas like ‘sixteen candles’. Oddly, Asian men do not.
- Indian men are the only group that has ‘ayn rand’ amongst their likes. Maybe they see an aspect of Kali in her hate-filled face and necklace of severed heads.
The crew at Sadly, No! has always had a particular soft spot in their hearts for Donald Douglas, a professor of some sort at some community college somewhere, ever since he referred to us as the slow-witted cattle of the leftosphere. So forgive me a moment if I spit out the grass that I was eating and help my self to a large and tasty helping of schadenfreude:
Then turning around, I saw this kid yacking it up for the crowd, obviously having a blast with this ugly Jew-hating sign. And what does that mean, “SASQUATCH ISRAEL”? This is a play on the “legitimacy myth” of Israel’s existence. As there’s of course a “Sasquatch myth,” it’s worth noting the implied comparison: that Israel is also an ape-like beast existing only in historical folklore. Absent legitimacy, Israel has “no right to exist.” This kid’s sign is but one more example of eliminationist anti-Semitism. And look at how overjoyed he is in boasting this hatred. Creepy
That is, of course, Donald talking about someone, allegedly a counter-protestor, whom he saw during the day of hating mosques recently held in lower Manhattan. SASQUATCH ISRAEL is, indeed, a rather cryptic insult to Israel and I’m not for a moment convinced by the community college professor’s over-heated exegesis of the phrase. But fortunately, Douglas posts a picture of said leftist and said sign so that perhaps we can figure out what on earth is meant by “SASQUATCH ISRAEL.”
It turns out, of course, that the sign had nothing to do with Israel, much less with any desire to do bad things to Israel, but instead was, in fact, a travel warning advising people of the dangers of traveling alone in the backwoods of America, not only because of the danger of being made to squeal like a pig by a single-toothed teatard, but also because of the very real danger of encountering the dangerous forest creature known as Sasquatch who, in case you weren’t certain, IS REAL!
You know if Sadlynauts are slow-witted cattle, I think that means our illiterate community college professor must be relegated to an even lower rung in the zoosphere, such as, say, brain-damaged poultry or, better yet, windshield-splattered insects.
UPDATE: Hilarious. Thin-skinned Don Douglas responds:
So “SASQUATCH ISRAEL” is really truly “SASQUATCH IS REAL.” And there’s even a website for that, on Facebook.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I’m dumb.
I stand by what I wrote, either way.
…
Leftists hate moral clarity. And they hate Israel. We don’t need a Sasquatch myth to figure that out. So, a hearty F*** You to the lot of you, assholes.
In other words: “I was wrong but that is central to my point.”
Don also didn’t like the hat we put on him in the picture either, not fully understanding that the joke wasn’t that he loved Jesus, but that he probably couldn’t spell the name any better than he could spell Israel. For him this is all proof that all Leftists hate Jesus, hate Israel, love Satan and Beelzebub, love Iran and Cuba, hate America, hate Oreo cookies with milk, love catfood canapés and human blood smoothies, love Charles Manson, hate our grandparents, etc., etc., etc. Just because I said he was stupid.
SECOND UPDATE:More from Professor Douglas who, frankly, seems a little deranged and, well, un-professorial.
We could solve the mosque problem best by declaring Christianity to be our nation’s official religion and by outlawing worship of false gods such as “Allah.” That way there wouldn’t even be a question as to whether the Muslims could build a mosque in lower Manhattan.
Because teh gays all love Judy Garland, a Republican campaign commercial based on The Wizard of Oz is a clever way to lure gays into my wonderful Republican fantasyland of no taxes for everyone and no rights for gays.
Frank Maguire: Black people need to forget that they are black. White people, however, are allowed to remember that black people are black.
A.J. DiCintio: You know how I know that Reid and Pelosi hate most Americans? Because of nasty things said by commenters at a website, that’s how!
Michael Bresciani: The Bible says that it’s okay to burn the Koran so the media should just STFU about Pastor Jones.
Stella Lohman: September 11 is really an occasion to remember Bernard Kerik, who is now in jail.
Gabriel Garnica: Where are the cries of liberal tree-huggers when New York City cuts down some trees at Lincoln Center? Busy burning bibles, that’s where!
Ken Connor: Oh, for the good old days of the Crusades!
Alan Caruba: First the Muslims destroyed my favorite restaurant; now they want to build a victory mosque there.
Dan Popp: You can’t create jobs by trying to create jobs, unless you’re trying to create jobs by cutting taxes on CEOs.
Judie Brown: Pro-choice liberals are the reason why there are back-alley abortion clinics run by unlicensed practitioners.
ABOVE: John J. Miller and Herman Munster at family reunion
Slightly Shorter John J. Miller, F.W.S.™, America’s Shittiest Website™ The Queer Quota
Hey, look, I found a gay person using the word “queer.” That means I can now call people “queer” as much as I want and say it as often as I want. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. Queer. No queers here at National Review! Queers suck. Boy, I can’t wait until the next time I hear some black person saying the N-word, and I can also use that word as much as I want. Who is this Laura person you keep mentioning?
Bear with me, all you teatard mockers. I’m on a roll (of vodka tonics). Consider the Tea Party movement — a collection of mouth-breathing social misfits who increasingly gather in public places. That’s the nail in the horseshoe that touches off the movement’s own downfall. That’s why this whole teabagging clusterfuck is going to collapse upon itself and wind up shooting rainbows and unicorns out of its violently expiring asshole.
Y’see, it’s long been conventional wisdom that tolerance is best achieved by the slow and steady infiltration of diversity amongst the bigoted. If only enough people figured out that they actually knew a gay person or a Muslim person or watched ‘Will and Grace’ or whatever, eventually they’d become more tolerant and less prone to jumping at wingnut dog whistles.
But the truth is, an enormous number of people were never going to figure this out organically, due to the fact that they are naturally misanthropic shut-ins with no capacity for visiting the public square and getting to know their fellow citizens.
It has often been said, for example, that people would become more tolerant of homosexuality when they discovered that their son or daughter was gay.
Nice in theory. But how does that work when a significant portion of your population will never ever never have a son or daughter, not by making that choice, but because their extreme sexual retardation undermines any shot they have at procreation?
Here’s where the Tea Party movement comes in. For the first time in living memory, the social retards are actually emerging from their secret lairs to kibbitz amongst other people in the light of day. True, those other people are people like Glenn Beck, but at least they’re other living, breathing human beings and not distant, pixelated voices reverberating from the Intertubes echo chamber.
My prediction is that the more these Tea Partiers gather and protest, the more they will actually have to confront other meatbags with different views, appearances and agendas. They may all be mostly misanthropic but they’re not completely sociopathic, or at least I hope they’re not.
And if I’m right, we may see something truly ironic and almost beautiful — a conservative movement that finally decided to take to the streets after decades of grumbling obscenities in the privacy of its walled-off enclaves … and by dint of that long-avoided mingling with fellow citizens discovered that it had more in common with the diverse members of its various cohorts than it had ever imagined.
Or we’ll have a Civil War. Make the next one a double.
The entire reason for constructing a straw man argument is to refute it but, sadly, there are some people that can’t even beat their own straw men. To wit, we have Glenn Harlan “Instahick” Reynolds, the Cracker Barrel Chair Professor of Handgun Law at the University of Tennessee School of Law and Wingnut Blogging, being soundly thrashed his own strawman: the alleged hordes of liberal environmental eliminationists, who are secretly planning mass murder and suicide to save the planet, and who must be stopped at all costs. Even from a guy who is planning on implanting his brain in a robot and shooting himself off into outer space to live (and blog) forever, this is pretty stupid stuff.
Reynold’s article starts off promisingly enough with Reynolds saying, presumably by accident, something that is mostly true:
Lee was a nut, an eco-freak who said he was inspired by Al Gore’s environmental scare-documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth.” His badly written “manifesto” underscores his craziness. He hated “filthy human babies.”
Alas, this fit of partial veracity is short-lived and leads straight into an enormous whopper.
But, of course, Lee’s not alone. Looking at the environmental literature, we find terms like those used above — the currently stylish description is “eliminationist rhetoric” — used widely, and plans for mass sterilization are fairly common.
Why just the other day I was on Amazon looking for a nice book on mass sterilization only to find that there were so many I couldn’t make up my mind, so I opted instead for The Girl with the ShihTzu Up Her Butt, or whatever it is that the latest Swedish thriller is called.
Of course, Glenn doesn’t want to lose the endowment that funds the Cracker Barrel Chair that he holds, so he realizes he must provide at least some stab at documenting this wildly preposterous claim of common plans for mass sterilization. Hello, Dr. Gazoogle, can you help Glenn out here?
How common are these views? I typed “Humanity is a” into Google and the top three suggestions were “Humanity is a virus,” “Humanity is a disease,” and “Humanity is a cancer.”
Fuck me, as my grandmother used to say. Look, if you type in “why can’t I” the first thing Google suggests is “own a Canadian.” That doesn’t mean that there is a mass movement to invade Canuckistan and enslave all of its residents. I mean, it might be fun to own a Canadian for a few days but after a few days of the Canadian trashing your kitchen while whipping up plate after plate of poutine, it would get old.
[UPDATE: Part of this joke appears to have been unconsciously purloined from the estimable TBogg. Since I read all of TBogg's posts, I must have read this post of his before using the "own a Canadian" business. Naturally, anything I steal from TBogg would wind up being the funniest thing in my entire post.]
Realizing that this argument is perhaps — dare I say it? — retarded, Glenn latches onto another one, which of course gives us our obligatory Sadly, No! Moment™
And, as Mark Hemingway pointed out in these pages a few days ago, one need only look to the writings of President Obama’s “science czar,” John Holdren to find something similar. Seeing humanity as destructive, Holdren wrote in favor of forced abortion and putting sterilizing agents in the drinking water, and in particular of sterilizing people who cause “social deterioration.”
Sadly, No! The passages the Perfesser alludes to were selectively mined from a survey of population control methods that had been used in the past, with Holdren and his two co-authors concluding that they supported only “non-coercive” methods. So much for forced abortions. Although if anyone is interested in a gay abortion, we have a special Sadly, No deal that we can offer to our readers.
This doesn’t mean that I haven’t contemplated forced sterilization of some elements of the wingnut-o-sphere. While writing this post,for example, I had intrusive thoughts of an accidental encounter between the Perfesser’s testicles and a weed-whacker. But I also have thoughts of having sex with Ryan Kwanten and that’s not going to happen either.
You’ll be delighted to know that even though it’s Labor Day, the folks over at Renew America are laboring away and that Sher Zieve, a lovely lady nearanddear to what passes for our hearts, is laboring away at having a nervous breakdown. No, seriously.
On having one’s name deleted from the internet by Obama & co
I suppose that’s better than being murdered in a park by Hitlery KKKlinton & Co, unless you were, like, a character in a William Gibson novel or something and you actually existed only as an arrangement of electrons coursing through cyberspace. In Sher’s defense, she may actually believe she is such a thing, although I think it more likely that she believes that she is the reincarnation of a the Second Duchess of York’s favorite Pomeranian.
These days, it isn’t difficult to ascertain when you are on the Obama Enemies List. Leftist bloggers will increase and become even more inarticulate (if that’s even possible) in their attacks on you when you begin disseminating too much truth, when your columns hit too close to home for a general comfort.
You know that last sentence is why we love Sher so much — she accuses Leftist bloggers of being inarticulate in sentence that, I think, would only make sense if translated back into the original Croatian.
Okay, now let me get back to the email I got from the White House this morning telling me what I’m supposed to write about Sher in this post. Oh, yes, here we are:
Yikes! One way to deal with the [sic] is to “eliminate” the voices of those who oppose the tyrant. Sadly, such is my case.
Sadly, no! (Sorry, but I had to say that.)
And such strongly seems to be the case of the techniques now utilized by the two major Internet search engines — Google and Yahoo. It appears that when they are told by The Obama to delete an opposer’s name from their files, … my name has now almost been completely deleted from Google and Yahoo is following close behind the leftist leader. Are plans to eradicate other truth-tellers on the way?
Does anyone else think that Pastor Swank is ghost-writing Sher’s columns?
For regular readers, this additional sabotage will come as no surprise. This has been occurring steadily over the past 2-3 years. I have gone from over 1.5 Million entries on each search site to — now — under 8,000 entries on Google and about 22K on Yahoo.
You’d think that the Obamatyrant would just completely excise her from the Internet unless, I suppose, this is the Internet equivalent of “death by a thousand cuts” wherein each day, as Sher googles herself, she suffers the indignity of seeing her search engine entries drop until finally. . .
The reason why Megan McArdle gets paid to blog at The Atlantic and I do not is that I am intellectually incapable of devising brilliant arguments like this:
For example, like a lot of evolutionary biology critiques, this one leans heavily on bonobos (at least so far). Here’s the thing: humans aren’t like bonobos. And do you know how I know that we are not like bonobos? Because we’re not like bonobos.
I was, at least until now, totally unaware that an accepted argument to prove a thesis is to repeat the thesis word-for-word in italics.
Megan is blogging about bonobos themselves, rather than her usual bonobo version of economic libertarianism, because she is reviewing a book — which she admits she hasn’t even finished — on sexual anthropology. The book, Sex at Dawn, has completely scandalized her, both because of all the wild monkey sex it describes and for its suggestion that humans might not be naturally monogamous.
The authors of the book, in a post deliciously titled “Megan McArdle Really Hates Sex at Dawn,” completely and hilariously destroy the last few desiccated scraps of McArdle’s credibility
Why, it seems like just yesterday that Pam was palling around with Neo-Nazis at seedy gatherings on the ass-end of the European political fringe1, fighting an eliminationist civil war over the dwindling crumbs of post-Katrina stupid, and revealing to a skeptical world that Barack Obama just may be — just might be — Malcolm X’s love child.
Now, thanks to newly resurgent anti-Muslim rage amongst the teatards — and its usefulness to GOP electoral chances in November — Geller finds herself the talk of the town, a sought-after commentator on the national stage as desperate media outlets seek to uncover the mystery as to why bigoted bigots are acting really bigoted out of bigotry.
Until recently, only a handful of bloggers and their readers were privy to Pam’s daily deluge of cap-locked misinformation and shrieking xenophobia. But today, like a shooting star flashing across the night sky (if said comet took several years2 of flirtini-addled, spit-flecked stumbling to careen tits-first through our field of vision), she speaks to a much wider audience. Indeed, an entire nation can now read stuff like this:
‘The purpose of these talks is clear. These will be direct negotiations between Israelis and Palestinians. These negotiations are intended to resolve all final status issues. The goal is a settlement, negotiated between the parties, that ends the occupation which began in 1967 and results in the emergence of an independent, democratic and viable Palestinian state, living side by side in peace and security with a Jewish state of Israel and its other neighbors. That’s the vision we are pursuing.’ Presdeint Obama, September 1, 2010
Spoken like a true antisemite. ‘Illegal’ occupation?
Well, no, ‘illegal’ was not a term used by Presdeint Obama in the supplied quote, though in fairness we don’t know what his doppelganger, President Obama may have said. It’s also worth noting that the ‘true anti-semites’ on the Israeli Supreme Court have ruled that the West Bank is ‘occupied’, but perhaps that’s a detail best puzzled over another day.
Or maybe you’d be interested to learn that Anti-Defamation League director Abe Foxman is actually a jihad-loving toady of Islamic supremacists? ‘Mighty classy, dhimmi,’ as Pam so politely punctuates the point.
In a victory for our national dialogue, more and more people can learn these things, thanks to Pam’s ascent to superstar status. And these days, she’s even got her own pet nebbish3!
Here’s to you, Pammy. You’ve come a Long Island way, baby!
1 Pam back in 2007 on hanging out with Vlaams Belang, originally the pro-Nazi Dutch Vlaams Blok party: ‘Who the hell wasn’t a nazi collaborator in Europe? Puhleeeeeze.’
Pam on George Soros a couple of months earlier: ‘Soros has sinister ties to anti-semites and Nazis.’
Excuse me while I indulge in a 3,000-word ontological jack-off session to explain how the most logical explanation for conflicting early versions of a hastily filed news story is a nefarious plot by jihad-loving Obamabots.
ABOVE: Caleb Howe (right), Caleb’s Best Friend (left)
Caleb “The Drunk Tweeter”1 Howe, Irky Irksome’s Halfway House for Lonely White Guys with Drinking Problems The Rhetoric of Violence
The liberals at Think Progress tried to politicize the Discovery gunman by alleging that he was driven by his anti-immigration beliefs. Gentlemen, have you no shame? How could you politicize this tragedy? How do you sleep at night? HUH??? Besides, it wasn’t the anti-immigration groups that spurred the gunman to his madness, it was the crazy-assed eco-radicals that are predicting an environmental apocalypse every time you turn around that prompted the gunman to use such extreme measures.2
1 For those of you who miss the “Drunk Tweeter” reference, Caleb Howe made fun of Roger Ebert’s terminal thyroid cancer and then blamed his having done so on drinking too much vodka when he was tweeting.
2 For the record, I think both ThinkProgress and Caleb Howe are wrong. The gunman singled out the Discovery Network program Jon & Kate Plus 8 as the main source of his anger. Although, of course, I vigorously and unequivocally condemn the gunman’s method of expressing his disapproval, it is still, nevertheless, hard to disagree with his critical assessment of that show. The immediate fallout from the incident has been that security has been stepped up at the Culver City set where Cougar Town is taped. Bravo is also reportedly on lockdown in anticipation of similar critical outbursts against Project Runway and Real Housewives of [insert city].
Poor Debbie Schlussel. In classic ‘Two Stars, One Slot’ fashion, Pamela Geller has won the ‘Battle of the Shrieking Anti-Muslim Grating-Voiced Paranoid Jewisher-Than-Thou Prowling Cougar Drama Queens’ — leaving Debs in the dust and hurting for audience share amongst the in-with-a-chance mouth-breathing career hatist demographic.
So what’s an aging peroxide blonde Dhimmi basher to do? Why, take out her rage on proxy Pams, of course! Pointing to a video of tween Jonas Brothers fans, Debbie sneers:
When I was a teen, none of the girls I knew (including myself) were this crazy and unhinged, especially over something sooooo stupid.
Clearly, such weepy adolescent reactions to pop stars has never occurred before. Oh, wait:
The liberal media lied when it said that the Glenn Beck Rally was all white. I found three black people there. Two were on stage and I interviewed a third one in the crowd.
